Ijust cannot believe I'm in this spot

Hi Razzle,

Dry your tears! You will be doing all those things - everything you want to do - before you know it. Your uterus will find its anatomic alignment once again, but you have to help it get there!

I am swamped atm and must leave you in the very capable hands of our moderators and members.

Please know that your body has designed into it the ability to come back from prolapse.

Hugs from Christine

Hi Razzle. There is no quick fix and that's for sure. First of all, try to relax and please don't panic because we have all been there, and lived to tell about it! There are many young moms on this forum dealing with what you have. There is no good time to discover it.....it seems to either dump on you when you have a host of other problems, or comes along to rain on your parade when you are on top of the world.

The moms will say, yes, you tried to do too much post-partum. But that is only one contributing factor. If you scratch the surface of Christine's work you will understand that the causes of prolapse go back farther than any of us.

For starters, go to the Theater tab up above, and have a look at "Whole Woman 101" if you have not already. This will explain it, and give an introduction to posture. What you have to do is retrain your body to adopt natural female posture, which holds the pelvic organs towards the front of the body, instead of pushing straight down. It doesn't "fix" prolapse in the sense of making it go away. It takes work, but it will allow you to love your body again. Welcome and good luck.

Hi Razzle,
you sound in such despair, and my heart goes out to you, because i have been there.

I am not a moderater nor one of the more experienced here, they will give you more in depth responses, but what i can tell you is this. From my observations and experience most women with prolapse post partum heal/improve really well. I prolapsed after my third birth 4 years ago.
Back then i new nothing of whole woman and basically it got better all on its own, but to my dismay it returned 9months ago....because i was not looking after myself, doing too much, running around after a family and then the final straw - zumba classes. (i am 44 btw).

Today i am in a much better place, it is taking time and improving. I am back to functioning much better. When this all happened it felt like my world was imploding on me, much how you feel now.

Start to look after yourself, use the posture whenever you can. Try breastfeeding lying on your side, i loved that. You have a four year old to look after, but get him/her to help with little things where you can. Don't be wonder woman for a while, ask people to help.
Patience and posture and you WILL get there.
sending you hugs
Lindy

You're not disgusting or hideous at all. But you are being far too hard on yourself. I was like that when I first realised I had prolapse. I felt completely flawed but that just isn't true.

You're not going to be living a sedentary life and you are not disabled. I prolapsed in my late twenties and am still a taekwondo black belt who regularly cycles, swims, does everything. Actually, that's not quite true because at the moment I'm pregnant with my second, so I've slowed up a little, but that has nothing to do with prolapse and everything to do with morning sickness.

You've birthed two babies with confidence and belief in your own body, and that's already a huge thing. Now believe in your body again!

It's good that you're here.

PS - If breastfeeding hurts in the posture, then just keep the posture the rest of the time and don't worry about doing it while you breastfeed.

Good to see a fellow unassisted mama here!
I birthed my last two unassisted at home. I know that birth high feeling and all about doing way too much too soon. Live and learn right?
anyway. I'm glad you are here.
I'm gonna bullet my thoughts here- and keep it short and sweet. Hopefully I'll have time later in the week to really chat with you :)
- good news, you are used to being a do-er. This is good for you because you will latch on to this work and actually do it!
- good news, you are used to taking care of your body. This is good, because as soon as you know why this works, you will be able to fully integrate it into your life
- good news, you are used to FULLY living in your body. This is good, because you will almost intuitively know that this work will work for you.
- good news, you like sex. Sex is super for pushing things into place.
- good news, you are still early postpartum and have plenty of time for healing
- good news, you are totally going to rock NAULI
- good news, you have described exactly where things stand today, so when you do pull your uterus forward- you are gonna be able to encourage other women that it can be done, because you did it.
- good news, you eat well, so you will be able to support your healing
- good news, you are used to researching! you are an information seeker. This will allow you to find the truth

The truth?
-You will not live a sedentary life.
- You will feel incredibly sexy
- You will wear what you want, when you want
- You will learn to let go of some things that you will find are simply not that important
- You will run, lift, swim, dance, play all the livelong day

What this prolapse thing is not:
- a death sentence

What it might actually be for you:
-a wake up call
- a life changing event that will leave you happier and healthier
- a situation that opens your heart and mind and gives you a deeper sense of empathy for others

You are gonna be just fine!

I'm concerned about the off and on bleeding for 18 weeks. Do you think you retained some placenta?

Hey, you can click on my name to read my old stuff.
I'm 32 now. I have 5 kids, found my prolapse after the third, when I was 27 (I had 3 kids in 3.5 years)- had two more kids- and as of today, it's good.
I have always been really active. My 5th baby is 11 months old now and a few months ago I did a back flip. Sex is fun- no problem. I run- sometimes I even commit to running- and do distance. Life is good. You'll get here and I'm guessing you are gonna get here pretty fast. You don't seem like a wallower ;)

Downward dog, fire breathing, and nauli- add the posture to cement the effects!

alemama wrote what I was thinking only she said it so much better than I ever could.
when you have some time, go through some of my old posts, but in a nutshell, I've been there too. I want you to know that I still wear my high heeled shoes. I do not have a flat butt. my abs rock (thanks to alemama teaching us about nauli - go find it on youtube). sex is awesome, I run and play with my kids. carry them around and all that.
but I do remember thinking sex will never be good again, that I was ugly and deformed and disabled.
there IS coming back. I did. posture becomes second nature and know what else....it feels good.
the prolapse is no longer even a blip on my radar. I dont ignore it, I just dont think about it anymore. life is too full and its not getting in my way.
for right now, you may find it helpful to slow down as you learn what your body needs from you, but I highly doubt this will be a forever-thing for you. its a learning - growing experience. Its really hard to be smacked with loss like this when you are so young, you shouldnt have to deal with stuff like this yet. believe me, I spent lots of time grappling with the 'why me' question and I was older than you (dont remember exactly but probably around 32 at the time). we dont get to choose our experiences but you will choose what to do with it. you sound strong, energetic, motivated and able to make this turn out ok.
its ok and normal to grieve it for a while, finding a prolapse IS a loss and its very very real. the grief will eventually pass and you will come out the other side possibly wondering what all the fuss was about.
please stick around, ask any questions you may have. if the email function is working, feel free to contact me if you want to chat off the forums.

Hi razzle- nearly a year ago I gave birth for the third time and shortly thereafter welcomed cystocele into my life. My symptoms were mainly feelings of pelvic heaviness and tailbone pain and a dr. confirmed my suspicions. I found wholewoman and changed the way I stood and sat. I would envision my bladder and uterus supported by my pubic bone underneath as I pulled my chest up tall into wholewoman posture. It took a while, but posture is second nature now. Slouching like back in the day is painful now. I learned how to nauli and how to firebreathe but I dont perform them often (nauli is pretty fun though). My focus is mostly on the way I stand and breathe throughout the day. I have little kids so I spend a lot of time on the floor with them. Lots of hands and knees with my uterus and bladder snug inside my belly. I still have the tailbone pain but only when Im not in posture. The heavy feeling is only there around the first few days of my period. Youll heal even better than I did - you gave birth naturally and over an intact perineum, while I have had three episiotomies which sets me right up for prolapse. Its a blessing to have prolapse so young and then find out about wholewoman posture because it means you wont be dealing with it 20 years down the road. It means a lifetime of stabilization and correct female posture.

At my most dutiful I was keeping the posture around 80% of the time, and found my prolapse improved greatly even though I sometimes "fell" out of posture. Now that I'm pregnant and exhausted, my posture is 95% NOT whole woman posture and a whole lotta slumping! But pretty much still symptom free, and whenever I'm feeling well I practise posture again. So I reckon a break now and then is fine, particularly when you're still figuring the posture out.

I find the posture very feminine, and I feel more curvy in it (I am not blessed with curves, so this is a good thing!). Hope that gives you some inspiration.

Take it easy on yourself.

hey razzle...you must be one of those people who sets her sights high and lets nothing stop her from achieving her goals. ease up on yourself for a bit. you dont have to be in WW posture 100% of the time, especially in the beginning. it takes time. for me, the hardest part of this work was slowing down and accepting that thing werent going to be 'back to normal' by the end of the week, no matter what I did.
forget about feeling guilty about the rough sex. that might be what called your attention to the prolapse, but I highly doubt that it caused it. prolapse usually happens insidiously over many years.
I hope you are lucky enough to have found one of the few PT's who understand this work and posture. most do not,unfortunately. I say this as a PT myself (disclaimer: my training was years ago and I worked mostly with children). correct posture as it is taught to physical therapists is not the same posture I learned here. WW posture makes so much more sense to me. I say this just incase your PT tries to talk you out of the WW posture or tries to encourage you to do silly things like crunches.
as for the crying, well, I was never one to stop myself from it. let it out, I say. and for the 'what if's' well, what if the worst happened? you'd somehow manage to deal with it. most people are remarkably resilient in the face of all sorts of loss. and most likely, the worst will not happen. you know, its the old 'the only thing we have to fear is fear itself'.
the good news is that the more you learn about your prolapse, about how it behaves, how it responds to things like good posture and rough sex, the more empowered - and less afraid - you will be.

the email function here isnt working (I thought it might have been fixed since I've been here sporadically, but I guess not). louise is currently functioning as the go-between for anyone who wants to contact another member. you can email her at [email protected] and as long as both parties are willing, she will give members each other's email addy's. I will try to email her asap and let her know its ok to give you my email contact information.

and agree with you about the kegels and the medical system here in the US.

I am in your very situation, sweetie. It happened after my second child. I started lifting heavy boxes ONE week after birth in spite the pain, and this was when I prolapsed. I have been dealing with the pain, embarassement, and the ups and down of it. I am considering surgery (my doctor recommends it). I am going through all the posts right now, so I can see what I can expect.

I hope you have a great support system, and you still have the stamina to love and kiss your baby.