Had a bit of meltdown at work today :( few questions for you ladies.

Submitted by Wonderwall on March 23, 2012 - 12:47pm
Body: 

Was at work today and just basically something small got to me and then i just started bawling my eyes out, everyone was asking what was wrong with me and all i could say was i feel sick. I managed to finish my day but whore sunglasses all day because i was such a state. Phoned my mum who got me a doctors appointment and i went and seen him spoke to him for ages my mum came to. He seemed reluctant to give me oestrogen cream or pills and in the end didnt, he gave me anti depressants. He is going to write a letter to the gynocologist to see if he can see me again and give me more information, and he has told me to make an appointment with another doctor who makes pessaries, these scare me a bit but i gather they can help prevent further deterioration? I tried using a sea sponge but to be honest i think i gave myself a uti with that. My doctor didnt seem to think it was a big problem and he said i am young and with physio it may get better?

I showed my mum the video 101 and it made her cry she didnt realise how serious it was and thought the surgery would cure everything as did i.

I have started doing the ww posture as best i can but i am struggling. I feel so tired i am shaking slightly i am so tired, is it that i will be using different muscles that i am not used to? I am struggling when i drive to do this position? Also my back hurts, am i doing something wrong? Should your shoulders be up or down?
Can a cystocele really be made any better once its their by doing the ww? it seems like its solid and theres no going back. I am not sure if i have urethrocele or cystocele or both how can you tell? It is right at the very front and i dont think it goes to far back but i am a little squeamish about checking how far back it is i dont even know why i am squeamish that is ridiculous.

Only good thing is my diet is going well i am eating very well now so hopefully the weight will start to come off slowly, my doctor didnt seem to think losing weight would make it worse however i have read that it can? omg i am so confused and scared. Razzle if you read this i am going to send my email to louiseds i am up for the challenge!

If anyone can answer any of my questions i would be very greatfull as i just feel so desperate. x

Forum:

granolamom

March 23, 2012 - 1:59pm

hi there wonderwall
I'm sorry you're having such a tough time right now. I think the hardest part of having a prolapse is what it does too you emotionally. because really, physically, you are a healthy woman.
and YES a cystocele can really be made better by incorporating ww posture, lifestyle and exercises. mine is. I'm not sure it matters if you have a prolapsed urethra or bladder or both, but I do think you might want to try to get over this squeamishness. YOU will become the expert on YOUR body. WW can guide you, teach you principles and philosophy and some practical applications but only you will know how your prolapse is responding. You can do this and you may find it to be quite empowering.

the posture can cause muscle pain at first, you are right - you are using muscles differently than you have in the past. so you probably have some weakness and tightness that will have to be worked out. do what you can and rest when you need to. you dont have to be in posture 100% of the time right now, its a process and you have lots of time. prolapse is not life threatening. I definitely can relate to wanting it gone asap but really, there is no urgency. and to answer your question, shoulders should be down.

I think your dr did right by you in not scripting estrogen. estrogen doesnt reverse or heal a prolapse, all it does is help with lubrication and beef up the vaginal lining. I hope your gyno can give you the info you want but it seems that most dr's are sorely lacking in this information themselves. everything you need to know about pelvic organ prolapse is here.

I hope that with some time your desperation begins to fade into a more positive mindset. prolapse is something you want to do something about but it is not 'serious'. you learn the posture and then go about the business of enjoying life.

(((hugs)))

Surviving60

March 23, 2012 - 2:30pm

Wise words from granolamom and I think I'll take some of that advice myself. I'm squeamish too and I've managed to get almost 2 years into this, with hardly any self-exploration. I guess I think I'll worry about it less if I'm just going by my symptoms alone, not too much poking and looking to give me more things to stress over. But the more you know, the less you fear!

Regarding pessaries, it is my understanding that they do not prevent the worsening of prolapse. They can offer some relief from symptoms and most likely have their place in certain situations, but I don't think they keep things from worsening, and can sometimes actually MAKE things worse. I hope someone will correct me if I'm wrong; I have never used one but that's been my impression from following discussions here.

Wonderwall

March 23, 2012 - 3:18pm

You ladies have been very helpful to me so far and i really appreciate it. I think you are right i need to find out as much info as i need, try to deal with it in my head and then move on, and get on with this posture i need to stop dwelling on it. I am squeamish but at the same time i check myself probably 20 times a day - i never used to do this until this yr although i have been aware of this problem for longer than that, i think i feel sick generally and anxious that i find its gotten 10 times worse when really i know thats ridiculous.
Need to try and limit myself to checking perhaps once a day to start with i think.

Yes i am scared of the pessary because i feel that i used it one day and it did possibly make things a bit worse just ever so slightly. I dont really have any symptoms apart from the obvious, i have had slight pain since 2009 on my left side very low down almost like a pulse a low throbbing ache and i do wonder if this was the starting signs i still have it but it has lestened and i now have syatic? sp pain i am guessing also down to this but only down my left leg? strange. Thanks again very much x

granolamom

March 24, 2012 - 8:26pm

It is my speculation that your prolapse did not cause your sciatic pain, more likely the same thing caused both. likely you can improve both with the WW posture.
if you are scared of the pessary, dont use it. while pessaries are a g-dsend for some women, they are not for everyone. you can always try one later if you want to.

another member here (MeMyselfAndI) coined the term 'checkarama' describing this obsession with checking on the prolapse a million times a day. you arent the only one, lol.
and yes, wise to limit it.
I also find that my prolapse seems worse when I am anxious or depressed. I strongly believe in the mind/body connection, that you can influence your body with your thoughts and that your body, through its complaints, tries to communicate its wisdom regarding your emotional/spiritual state. I know lots of people think that's a bunch of nonsense, but it works for me. you can take it, leave it, whatever. just sharing : )

Christine

March 24, 2012 - 9:17pm

I'm jumping onto the forums through DHs computer...things were moving slowly today before second hard drive crash in a year!! So much to do - I don't have time for this!!! Able to relax tho...feel I've sailed through a barrier between hard, rationalistic science and the Grace of Aesthetic in describing the WW work. It is beyond words what I feel for the women (like our beloved Granolamom) who knew WW posture was perfect before we had words to describe to the rest of the world *why*.

All love until I can be here again. Tomorrow I'm going to the mountains.

Christine

louiseds

March 26, 2012 - 1:53am

Some women do find that a pessary helps reduce their symptoms. I don't think we really know whether they worsen prolapse or not. We only know that the vaginal space that is created by a pessary is not a natural space, because the shape of the vagina means that it is a flattened tube, ie it is kept flattened by the bladder and in front of it and the rectum behind it.

A the natural vagina is flat it does not tend to push the rectum, vagina and bladder out of a straight line in the sagittal plane. Putting a bulge in the vagina is like trying to keep three balls in a straight line when pressing both ends of the line together.

Intuitively, I think the flattest possible pessary should be used, and that it should, if possible, be removed nightly when its support is not needed, to give the stretched vaginal tissues the opportunity to normalise regularly. When I say the flattest pessary possible I mean not so flat that it pushes a narrow edge into the vaginal wall, but flat enough that it doesn't destabilise the alignment of the bladder, vagina and rectum.

When the uterus has been removed, a pessary with considerable volume may be more useful. In this case the pessary, placed high in the vagina, could be seen to fill the space that the uterus was filling prior to hysterectomy and helping to normalise the geometry of the pelvis - as long as it stays high.

Louise