Newly Diagnosed

I am 34 yrs old, I am 5 months postpartum after the delivery of my 3rd very lovely, very large baby. Last week I visited a Physiotherapist and received the depressing diagnosis of a stage 1 rectocele and cyctocele and from time to time I experience prolapse of my rectum. By the time I knew enough to seek help from a specialized PT I had read enough to know I was in trouble. I have been crying and reading sites and forums for a few weeks and hear so much similar to my story. It fills me with hope and despair all at once. I know that I am not alone but I also know that there is no miracle fix, my story will not be different. I will learn to manage but will likely never be healed. For me, the first part of this process is mental, I need to figure out how to manage my feelings. I am depressed, grieving my old body, trying hard to accept my new one. It is easier said than done.

I first pursued my symptoms with my GP, then spoke to my OB on the phone, I was surprised that neither was concerned enough to even do a thorough exam and said it was nothing to worry about until 12 months postpartum. That is when I turned to the internet and discovered a PT office in my area that specializes in prolapse. Even if I find that my PT can offer no physical improvement she at least was the first professional I dealt with that actually examined me, explained to me my anatomy and specific problems, and addressed my concerns. The PT also informed me that there is a one year wait to be fitted for a pessary in my area so not even knowing if I will use the option she referred me immediately.

I asked my PT how common these problems are postpartum and she said that nearly half of women will experience some prolapse during pregnancy and child birth but many have no symptoms or do not have symptoms until later in life. The PT said she recently heard a quote from a urogynecologist saying 'show me a woman that has given birth and I'll show you a rectocele'.

I guess at this point I am wondering how bad this is going to get. Could things get worse before they get better or is the damage already done and just becoming obvious? Over the past few weeks my symptoms seemed to gradually worsen. I am scared that this trend will continue. Do most women experience gradual worsening over time or are there specific things that cause further prolapse?

Can I really confidently carry my 16 pound son, go to the park with my kids, bake cookies and not worry that I am causing damage? Right now I feel vulnerable leaving the couch.

I cling to the hope that there are things I can do to help. I am breastfeeding and wondering if weaning and allowing my cycle to return will help. Should I go back on birth control? I have read about yoga, posture, breathing, herbs and teas that promote POP healing. Like everyone here I am willing to try anything but am overwhelmed with contradicting information online and don't know where to start. One thing for sure surgery scares me.

Thanks for listening.