Very Overwhelmed!

Submitted by surfergirl on October 11, 2012 - 4:53am
Body: 

Hi Ladies,
Im 29yrs and 8 weeks pp with my first baby, It was quite a stressful birth. I was in early labour for 4 days, calls to the hospital just for them to say that the contractions were to irregular and to stay at home and take pain killers. On the 5th day i went in for my check up where they found out i had high blood pressure and had to be monitored. Long story short my water broke that afternoon and after 15hrs, high blood pressure, maternal fever and my little guys heart rate quite high, i had a forceps delivery and surgery after with 2nd degree tearing. He was a big boy 9 1/4 lbs and i am a tiny girl not the best mix. After all this just last week i discovered i had a prolapse. At my GP check up it was confirmed i had cystocoele. The doc did not tell me what stage, actually didn't tell me much at all except to go home do lots of keegels and come back in 5 weeks. I was so overwhelmed with it all because my partner works away and i was having skin problems with my baby :( After seeing 3 different doctors i am managing my babies eczema and have told my partner the news. He seems to be more worried about our sex life than me at the moment which was a little disheartening. Thankfully my mum found this site and told me to join. Im so glad i have it is a weight off my shoulders to have other women to talk to that are dealing with the same thing. Ive ordered the bundle and can't wait to receive it and am trying to keep the basic ww posture already.
Im a very active person, i surf, run, goto the gym, swim and really enjoy most outside activities. I have been told that i can walk but nothing else at the moment and I'm going crazy. Some nights i just lye in bed and cry wondering if i will ever be able to do these things again.. I tried walking but after a short while i feel the fullness/heaviness and i have to rest. Should i be walking or just resting at the moment? And when can i start to do these things?? Should i keep doing the keegels?? I have a pain on the right side of my back when i do ww posture, I'm thinking maybe my back is out from my labour or could it just be the muscles i havnt been using? I would really love to have another baby in the future but i am now a little scared.
I would love some feed back and advice. Quite confused and very overwhelmed! Trying to stay positive, thank god for my mama bear.

Forum:

MsNightingale

October 11, 2012 - 6:10am

Welcome and Congratulations on the birth of your little boy! Yes it sounds like you have been through quite a bit, and not the best guidance during your early labor....it is a bit shocking actually, that you would be told to stay home and take pain killers ??? I am happy for you that your wonderful Mom found this site for you. First, try if you can to relax. You are young and only 8 weeks from having given birth to a big boy. You want to rest a lot, eat very healthy and when you are up for it, walking is the best....always in the posture. Great that you have ordered the bundle. A word of caution here --- go slowly with it. You might want to watch the videos first and understand the moves, then go little by little. You are an active woman, and you will find that most of us here were very active. Yes, you will be able to do much when you have healed from the birth and when you have helped your body. Are you in the habit of tucking your tailbone and pulling in your tummy? This is a habit that so many of us have had....a product of our time. That is the first thing you want to stop doing. Pull up into posture...it sounds like you have not wasted any time in searching out this site. I cannot answer your kegel questions.....most of us here think that is not the answer. Your first step is to understand the posture and put it into constant use....along with resting and patience. Yes, you will probably feel discomfort with it at first (for me it was about 2 weeks of back and hip aching), then, miraculously, it felt good and symptoms began to lessen. With your young age and health, you will most likely see great improvement and healing. As for your partners attitude, yes, I can see that it would be disheartening. It may be good for him to read the wonderful article here on this site that was written by Lanny, who is Christine's husband. It is an article directed to the husbands or partners and I do think it would be good for your partner to read it. You will find in time that your sex life will be fine and great, but it will be important to be able to talk to your partner so that your comfort is primary. And yes, you can have more babies. There are many women on this site who have gone on to have many babies and their condition has not worsened from it....I am sure you will hear from them (I am post meno). Keep posting your questions and best wishes to you!

Surviving60

October 11, 2012 - 7:23am

Oh my goodness Surfergirl, go give your mom a big hug! A day doesn't go by that I don't thank my lucky stars I found this place. Do not worry. There are so many ups and downs PP and you have such a lot of healing ahead of you, especially if you are adopting WW posture now, while your body is still fairly fresh from the experience of carrying everything forward in the belly. Right now your organs are working themselves back where they belong, and you can help tell them where that place is! I SO wish I'd had this knowledge right after I had my own babies. BTW, here is a link to Christine's kegel article, in case you have not found it already: http://wholewoman.com/blog/?p=1497

Nothing else to add to Nightingale's excellent advice. Yes, there are tons of young PP moms on here with some great experiences to relate. Search the forums! So much info here and all over Christine's site. The book is my bible, and the video gave me all my favorite moves! Good luck to you! - Surviving

7th daughter

October 11, 2012 - 1:17pm

This is all so new to me and am so happy I found this site. I was searching for the letter Written by Christines husband Lanny so I could share that with my husband. Don't have any questions yet, just reading, listening and learning. I am 62 years old.

Surviving60

October 11, 2012 - 1:26pm

Hi 7th! Here is a link to the husband's guide:
http://www.wholewoman.com/library/content/articles/husbandsguide.pdf

The website is somewhat rearranged of late, and I found it under Resources, in the Library. Look for Lanny Goodman Articles (left-hand side of page). Come back and post when you are ready! - Surviving

7th daughter

October 11, 2012 - 1:27pm

Thanks so much for quik response....feels like new friends already☺

Aussie Soul Sister

October 11, 2012 - 4:20pm

Dear 7th Daughter & surfergirl, hi & welcome ! I am between your ages, have prolapse ( rectocele)since during 2nd pregnancy ( 17yrs ago), & had 3rd baby 2 1/2 yrs later, 1st delivery was forceps.

When I found WW forum a few mths ago I read my eyes off!!
My Mum sent me on a journey of reading & discovery yrs ago - Bless your Mum surfergirl!! You have many friends here, read & do what Ms Nightingale & Surviving 60 say & (((hugs))) to you both!!
Best wishes
Aussie Soul Sister

surfergirl

October 11, 2012 - 6:47pm

Thanks so much for the quick response and great advice. I will definately take things slow, I'm quite nervous to do things. I was super excited about getting back into it all but now know it will take time and I am just enjoying being a mama spending all my time with buba.. Yes it was terrible I believe that te hospital made me stay home for so long that's the public health system for you. I know have private health care and will definately have my next baby privately , see if that's any better. I think in the past I have probably tucked my tail bone in and held my stomach in but am finding the ww posture quite easy to adapt to, I guess because of being pregnant. I remember my mum always saying when I was pregnant what great posture I had :) will keep at it and push through te muscle discomfort. I'm getting better at relaxing guess this will take me time too. I will gt my partner to definately read the article he needs to have more understanding I think , hopefully he wil want to.
Was wondering can I go for a dip in the ocean is it safe to?? Or in the pool not to do exercise but just for a swim??
Will definately give my mama more hugs I thank her alot as she is doing so much for me. Might have to take her on a little holiday :) thanks for the link will check out the keegels too.. The way the doctor addressed me I just thought if I went home did my keegels that it would all be gone in a couple of weeks. Shows how much the doctor really knew!

surfergirl

October 11, 2012 - 6:48pm

Thanks Aussie soul sister hugs to you too :)

MsNightingale

October 11, 2012 - 7:59pm

Swimming is a great thing for you to do and wonderful for all those muscles. Easy walking and swimming are both great for you. Sounds like you are loving being a Mom! Best wishes

louiseds

October 16, 2012 - 1:53am

Hi Surfergirl

Congratulations on the birth of your baby. You are lucky to have the Mum you have! It is wonderful to see Whole Woman wisdom being passed to a second generation of women.

The obstetrician may know more than you think. He may have glossed over, and declined to grade your prolapse, because he knew that it would lessen in time anyway. Postpartum prolapse is a bit different form later prolapse because your tissues have a couple of years of reversion to do before your body is back to its new normal. Doctors don't actually do anything about postpartum prolapse, and I think this is why.

The advice that you received to walk only for exercise at the moment is pretty sound for a newly postpartum woman, but swimming would be great too, now your lochia has finished, and you have signed off with the Obstetrician.

Who advised you to only walk at 8 weeks pp? And which pp week was that? Have they given you any indication when you can go back to full exercise?

Sometimes we need to be hemmed in by very strong boundaries for our own good, especially young women who are very exercise and fitness focussed, with lots of energy! ;-)

Just remember that any WW exercise you do is not competitive. You don't have to do as many reps as you can, or keep exercising for a particular length of time. It is designed to strengthen your whole body for the purposes of making WW posture sustainable and comfortable. That means the walking, running and the yoga and ballet exercises.

Re your partner and his holy sex life, don't worry. He is a bloke. He will get over it. Wait until he is home and you can talk more fully about it. The phone is the pits for this type of conversation. Just remember that when he is away working he will keep himself and his mind in the environment he is in, and try not to think too much about home, and you, and your wellbeing, because he trusts you to take good care of your baby and yourself. This seems to be the way humans deal with separation from loved ones and home. To not do this invites homesickness and loneliness. It is a coping mechanism for him. Don't take it personally. It is hard on both of you having him work away. Do you have any contact with other young Mums whose partners work away? It is a unique position that you are in. You young women can be great support for each other. Normal working at home people have no idea how hard it is for you and for your partners.

Having said that, if his lack of concern for your wellbeing becomes a problem, then it is worth bringing out into the open and talking with him about it. As a new Mum, coping by yourself in his absence, you are not the same person as you were before the baby arrived. You may feel more vulnerable. You both have adjustments to make. It happens to all of us.

Just love both of them.

Louise

surfergirl

October 17, 2012 - 1:39am

Hey guys,
Thanks i will get into the pool in a week or 2. Cant wait so sick of being stuck in the house. I love being a mum it is so rewarding, just seeing his little smiling face takes all the bad times away :) Had another tough week been in hospital with the little guy but we are all good now. Yes i have a girlfriend who's partner also works away and she has a little daughter just turned one, we talk a lot. My man actually rang up and apologised for saying that stuff said he felt bad and that the main thing was that i get better and heal and that the baby is ok :) Made me feel a lot better. The doctor i saw was not my own, she's away on holidays but is back next week so i have an appointment to see her and will get her opinion on everything and now i know more about what has happened i can ask the right questions. When can i exercise and what can i do exactly.. I will definitely take it easy with all the exercise, just ease into things. I notice the difference even when i do to much house work or carry my baby around more than usual. i can feel the heaviness and sometimes even see the difference.. Joining this sight tho has given me so much hope, makes me feel i am not alone and makes me a stronger more positive person and i know that everything will be ok whoever the outcome. i have a beautiful baby boy and wouldn't change that for anything :)

surfergirl

October 17, 2012 - 1:50am

Louise
i think i may have done too much to begin with as no one told me not to do things so from 1 week pp on i began walking probably around a km most day plus on top of having to do everything at home because my partner had gone back to work. i wish someone just told me to relax for 6 weeks :( Least next time i will know..

louiseds

October 17, 2012 - 7:04am

You can't change the past, but you can change the future. :-)

surfergirl

October 18, 2012 - 5:10am

So True =)

Panda86

October 20, 2012 - 4:45pm

I recently found this site, and I am SO glad I did! I have prolapse, though my doctor hasn't even informed me of what kind. I had no information about prolapse, so I just started reading, reading, reading. And the more I read, the more I got scared! But finding this site has been a huge relief, because I am not alone! And neither are you! I am 12 weeks pregnant with baby #5 (2 living, 2 miscarriages before this pregnancy), and my prolapse makes me so anxious all day. I was also told that I can not run at this time, and running is my passion. But with a little "tweaking" of my activities, and practice of the WW posture, I know I will be able to be active again. You will be to, I am sure! Hang in there!!!

surfergirl

November 1, 2012 - 7:34pm

Thanks so much Panda86 it is so frustrating not being able to do what u love but with this site I have alot of faith that I will one day be able to do all the things i love.. So sorry about the miscarriages I know how that feels I had one 7 years ago :( but everything happens for a reason. I wish you all the best with baby number 5..
I recently went back to my doctor and she said I have had a mild cystocele and has told me to just do Keegels an it will go away she said to do whatever I like running, surfing etc.. But honestly I don't feel up to it even when I walk I feel heavy. An for the first few days I let the posture go and I noticed it actually got worse so I'm back with the posture and I honestly dont think the keegels do much at all.. I have just received my DVDs and book so I'm keen to get going I have a lot more faith in Christine than my gp.. :)

Surviving60

November 2, 2012 - 4:05am

Good news Surfergirl, it sounds like you are on your way. Forget those kegels, they are doing more harm than good. Check out the blog for articles on this subject. Posture is it. Not a quick fix, but rather, a change you have to make from here on. Best of luck to you! - Surviving

surfergirl

November 2, 2012 - 6:10am

Wow i just read the blog on kegels, makes sense! Just started reading Christine's book and tomorrow I'm going to start looking at the dvd's. IM Excited :) Posture it sure is thanks surviving60.. Hope your doing well, Have a great day!

Surviving60

November 2, 2012 - 7:27am

Oh my goodness yes, it makes sense. If kegels were of any use in prolapse, prolapse would not be on the rise. It would be on the decline from billions of women kegeling and kegeling. Trust me, they do more harm than good. I am living proof of that, and when I read Christine's explanation, every fiber of my being said yes yes yes and thank you!! - Surviving

louiseds

November 3, 2012 - 11:10pm

Hi Surfergirl

A few years ago there were absolutely no research results showing that Kegels would fix anything other than the mildest of prolapses. I have no reason to believe that anything has changed. I am also sure that if someone had discovered that Kegels really do fix prolapse we would have heard about it!

Louise

Surviving60

November 4, 2012 - 6:56am

And as far as any claims of prolapse PREVENTION are concerned, total hogwash, as so many of us can attest. - S60