Rectocele and bowel movement

Hi Ikam – I know that many people don’t like the term “IBS” simply because it can be viewed as a catch-all explanation when nothing else can be found. I use it on myself because it fits perfectly with the connection between my stress level at any moment, and the corresponding churning of my bowels! Rectocele aggravates it; good diet improves it. I have also found that WW posture has cut down exponentially on the bad episodes. Is there no limit to what WW posture can do for us?

I know from past posts that you often try new medicines and supplements, either on medical advice or your own research. What else are you taking these days? I don’t think that taking loperamide for loose stools is a good long-term solution. I’d rather see you continue to make modifications in your diet until you can find something that works better.

Lately I’ve cut way back on caffeine, and started eating lots of milled flax seed every day. I have to say, my bowels have been behaving pretty well. For a long time, I was spreading out my eating over the course of the day, so that I wouldn’t overstress my system with larger amounts of food at a time. But that tends to keep me running off to the bathroom throughout the day. I’m thinking of going back to a basic 3-meal-a-day kind of schedule, and see what this does.

A good probiotic should be on your list, if not already. - Surviving

Good luck next week, Ikam - it will be so great to have this behind you at last! - Surviving

When people refuse to talk to us, they cast us into exile. From what I have read, exile in the ancient Greek world was taken as a horrendous wounding; while it was a mitigation of the death sentence, some considered it worse and preferred suicide. The same is true today of asylum seekers; they have a high incidence of mental illness and suicide because they have been exiled. Indigenous peoples throughout the world have also have been exiled from their lands, just as country folk who go broke find themselves ultimately exiled to urban environments.

Do people refuse to talk to us because they cannot cope with us? I remember the old advice that if you were married to a drunkard or a drug addict you were to kick them out. Tough love it was called. Its rationale was that for as long as you help them, they will never change, and they needed to change. Throw them out on their own and they will be forced to pick themselves up. And many a desperate parent, abused and stolen from, did just that, although it broke their heart. And of course some did pick themselves up and these were applauded, those who did not we hear little about except perhaps via a mother’s self accusing grief. But what of those of us who contact ill health and are also abandoned or banished? That happens too, and often. The other person cannot cope. We have changed, not of our own volition, but changed none the less. We are no longer who we once were. This is now our journey although one we would not have willingly picked for ourselves. But should we blame the other too much for deciding it is not their journey at this time? Never forget people can change yet again and realize they abandoned more than they realized at the time. Although it is frequently too late to really remedy.

Or, is it about punishment because we have supposedly done things unforgivable? The need to make us pay is in our traditions. The turning away of the face of god or the face of a loved one or the face of the community is intended in righteous anger to make us earn our redemption. Thus our culture includes secular punishments like imprisonment, and parking fines. So often the punishment will not meet the supposed crime, and often the so called perpetrator is innocent. Although, we will still rack our brains trying to isolate what it was we had done to cause all of this to come upon us and ultimately we have to conclude that this is all part of life over which we have little control once the dice are cast. Undoing the thread of life is not as easy as undoing the thread of a garment. We can try to unthread, we can try to make amends, we can at least learn from our errors (supposed or otherwise), but should we blame ourselves too much? Take responsibility by all means.

Or, is it really about the silencing person themselves; in many cases we later discover that it is they who have done the wrongdoing and can’t forgive themselves. You then become a constant reminder of what they have done, a reminder they can no longer live with. Forgetting is easier than remedying a wrong they dare not admit to, not out of fear of you but the unbearable dissonance to themselves. Their unworthiness translated into your abandonment then becomes your cross if you take it up.

Or, is it that the silencing one themselves have changed and are no longer the person they were. We are instructed that a leopard cannot change his spots, but there are chameleons amongst us and we indeed recognize in ourselves these changes as we grow physically, mentally and emotionally. So again, to forgive, may ultimately enable you to calm and to love yourself again not for anything special, but because life with love of self is a better place to be.

There is no remedy for the loneliness that overtakes us when we are exiled by family. Some people grow accustomed to loneliness and prefer it, others are fortunate to have new people come into their lives to displace the loneliness. Either way it takes time.

Dear Ikam, your stress at the moment would be sky high and a double whammy with the pending operation and personal grief. Going into a dazed state might be a way out until after the operation. After I gave up caffeine, I kind of was out of it for a good six weeks, just a caffeine deprived stupor, but I still operated and carried on in a type of at times shocked observing myself way. In fact, every now and again I had the urge to worry and started looking around for a cup of caffeine to really get into it.

But as to your looseness of bowel, you might find looking up Dr Sue Shepherd of interest. She talks about FODMAPS: fermentable oligosaccharides, disaccharides, monosaccharides and plyols. They are a group of short-chain carbohydrates and sugar alcohols that are poorly absorbed in the small intestines. Not everyone will be irritated by all of these, but you yourself have mentioned a number.

She does not advocate banishing these from your diet, but definitely cutting back. Just a warning: She is not adverse to sucrose, something which I personally am.

Good luck for the operation.

http://www.watoday.com.au/lifestyle/diet-and-fitness/an-apple-a-day-does...

I have been watching mine for a while now and just starting noticing that when I'm ovulating, I my whole abdomen gets very tight and everything seizes up. I usually get constipated during this time, probably because nothing can move through the tightness; it even gets harder to pee. But, then after ovulation is over, then I get the soft loose mushy stools for days. It's true, if they're soft and loose they always get "stuck" and you're left feeling like you have to go all day and you actually do have to go all day.

I just started noticing that at other times of the month, everything is pretty good. What do you think??

Dear Mom30

I think you have made some pretty acute observations here coinciding with your cycle. I remember well the tightness and the constipation. Fortunately, for me I did not suffer much from too soft stools. I wonder is there any way of relaxing this tightness? And if you did, whether this would help to break the constipation/diarrhea cycle?

I used to take a couple of paracetamol only when really stretched, but otherwise just put up with it under the old its normal/natural argument.

I wonder too, whether this makes you feel like certain foods or not feel like certain foods at certain points? I remember having sudden dislikes and likes a bit like the famous pregnancy cravings/disgusts. Which tells me I have a surfeit of something and a lacking of something else. I don't know whether these would be worth your while tracking, but if there were some patterns and you could anticipate them a bit diet wise, it may help.

Just thinking out aloud, Mom 30.

Best wishes, Fab