Emotional Issues

Submitted by Mika on January 5, 2013 - 4:03pm
Body: 

I still have bad times of crying. I think I want to know this is normal......is it? It is hard not to grieve my old self. I am in pain with my neck. (had 8 shots yesterday) I was on the couch yesterday to rest and my bladder came out again. So today I am having a pitty party for myself. I thought I would be out of pain by now. And then out came my bladder. I am having a hard time just getting by day by day. I am not living just surviving. I am lucky that the gals I work with are doing part of my job but I feel guilty about that. Need to just be patient and wait for the other doctor appointment for my neck. But it is hard I might need to go on disability but do not want that. I want to be able to do things again.....even if not the same way. What am I going to do sit on the couch.

Forum:

Surviving60

January 5, 2013 - 4:59pm

Hi Mika - can you fill us in a little about what's been going on? I'm guessing this pity party isn't all about a cystocele. You said you had a disturbing MRI and that you went for some type of light therapy that helped you feel better. Is this why you are afraid you might have to go on disability? - Surviving

Mika

January 6, 2013 - 12:24pm

Yes I went for light therapy and it did seem to help at the time. Well I think having to sit on the couch all day after getting 8 shots in my neck just got to me. I have been dealing with pain for a while (actually I think it is part of my bladder falling more, I used to sit on the couch with a heating pad on my neck most nights before). I slept last night and feel much better this morning. Sorry just moody lately still hoping to heal my neck and deal with the bladder prolapse. I don't always do well with changes. My brother and dad died 4 months apart last year and I had two friend loose children too. So just think that so much going on and on.....I know it is life but some times I want a break. I have a high tolerance to pain which is not a good thing sometimes. I just need to remember this too shall pass (the feelings but not the pain). thanks not sure if I explained things right.

Surviving60

January 6, 2013 - 5:37pm

I'm so sorry Mika for all the things you've been going through; it does sound like you are getting clobbered. Let me caution you about lots of couch-sitting and prolapse.....it's a bad combination. Slouching into soft furniture is one of the big things that flattens out our lumbar curvature over time, and brings on the prolapse. So bear in mind that your couch-sitting is working against your Whole Woman efforts. Try to guard lumbar curvature. Roll something up into the small of your back, or better yet, find a new and more upright prolapse-friendly sitting position. Lie down flat to rest, and other times, sit using the strength of your spine. It takes time and effort to restore that curvature, but that's where your pelvic organ support comes from. Hang in there - Surviving

MsNightingale

January 6, 2013 - 7:42pm

You have been through so much and this kind of pain and stress will of course be reflected in everything. I do however think that when you are ready to dedicate to the posture, you will find improvement in everything....the neck, the POP, and the emotional pain that must still be so present. Try to give yourself this gift of posture and I do think you will start to notice all kinds of improvement. Best wishes to you!

louiseds

January 6, 2013 - 8:10pm

Hi Mika

I just realised what I had just typed. Whoa, that's a bit freudian!

Between the end of September and November I lost an Aunt, an Uncle, tragically a young friend of my kids, and took my daughter's dog to the vet for euthenasia. Mid-November I spent a very difficult week camping, with my husband's brother behaving in ways that I found very difficult to handle, so it wasn't much of a holiday for me. At the end of it I felt quite wrung out, and it took quite some time to recover my personal resources and make sense of it all. My body certainly told me that I was not OK, withprolapse symptoms and back and neck pain.

I think it is often not until after the acute stress that our bodies give us the message that we need to heal ourselves before moving on. We just deal with stress at the time, then fall in a heap afterwards, when it is safe to do so.

In this sense your prolapse symptoms are in part symptoms, as well as being a cause of your distress. It is time to mindfully break this vicious cycle by taking actions that will get you out of it. Surviving rightfully mentions that the sofa might be your comfy haven, but it not your salvation, putting your body into a posture that aggravates the prolapse, and may also aggravate your neck. I think your body will thank you if you keep yourself upright and gently moving. Allow your neck to gradually mobilise itself.

And of course, nurture yourself. Cut yourself some slack and give yourself a little reward for dealing with all the cards you have been dealt. A simple massage or other body care every week, just for now, may move you on, by looking after you and giving you some care.

I suggest that you write down things that you are finding difficult, work out if any of them are dependent on others, or if some might be causing others. Then respond to these difficulties by working out all the actions you can take, or make decisions differently, to start changing them for the better. You might get some professional help with this process.

This is grief that you are dealing with. Recovery happens slowly, and requires you to accept how you are, and work yourway through it to a better place.

Mika

January 7, 2013 - 8:02pm

Thanks everyone. It was a bad day.....I needed to vent. I was suppose to rest, after the shots that is why I was on the couch. How else do you rest? I have tried so many things for my neck, I have something physically wrong and seeing another doctor in February. Yes I love to lay on the couch and put the heating pad on it at the end of the day of work. I am tired and being on the couch is my rest. How else do you rest. I guess I should try to sit up and put the heating pad on it by wrapping it up. Sitting is sometimes very uncomfortable for my pop. I have to sit for periods of time at work and it is hard.....I can not sit cross leg or with my legs in front of me. Any suggestions.

louiseds

January 7, 2013 - 9:46pm

Mika, maybe your difficult work position is the reason for your neck problems? Do you have an occupational health and safety officer who can help you sort this difficulty out?

I would keep lying on the sofa, rather than sit. Sitting on the sofa is not going to be helpful unless you have a cushion behind you to keep you upright.

Louise

Mika

January 8, 2013 - 4:21pm

Thanks louiseds.....I can sit on the floor and put a pillow behind me also I have a neck pillow I can just put in the microwave.
Forget work no money.

louiseds

January 8, 2013 - 8:22pm

Mika, is there nobody in your workplace ensuring that people's conditions of work are safe, and not causing injury?

wholewomanUK

January 10, 2013 - 6:35am

Hi Mika,
Just to say my heart goes out to you. So many of us have felt really low with all that life can throw at us and sometimes a pop can feel like the last straw.

There are things that can help, just as there are things that can make things worse. The WW approach is designed for all women and all women with prolapse and can help to improve symptoms and manage prolapse, so that women can live a normal healthy life, whether managing a prolapse or not. Please look at the WW videos online and access all the info on the FAQ's, blogs etc on this site.

Stress is something I've noticed, in myself and others, that definately makes things worse. A resource that I recommend to anyone for help to reduce stress and enhance well-being, is Rick Hanson's site. He has a weekly very short newsletter called 'Just One Thing' and a 1 minute video called 'Just One Moment' which are pearls of wisdom about mental well-being. They are wonderful free, easily accesible resources.

Wishing you all the best, xwholewomanuk

louiseds

January 12, 2013 - 4:28am

I just love getting these emails, just when I am all wound up about something. They enable me to step back and see another way.