My New User Story

Submitted by Bebe on January 13, 2013 - 8:53pm
Body: 

After reading some of your stories, I'm ashamed of feeling sorry for myself. I delivered four babies from 1983 to 1987 with three different doctors and one midwife. My first son was delivered with forceps after an induced labor. With my second son, my clearest memory of labor is of the “hotspot” that wouldn't go away with the epidural. Thank God for the English OB who understood the Bradley method and who was so late for my third delivery that my daughter was born in the labor room, and for my husband who wouldn't let the nurses call in another doctor or retard the process by making me breathe when I had the urge to push. It was my easiest delivery and my first without an epidural. When my last child was born and I didn't go to the hospital until the absolute last minute (regular contractions and my water broke in the parking lot), they still insisted on giving me an IV because of my age (37) and the size of my son (who weighed in at 9 lb. 15 oz.). They neglected to inform me, however, that the IV contained pitocin which turned a comfortable natural labor into an angry nightmare. And the midwife who attended his birth was as disappointing as any doctor. In spite of the medical treatment and my self-induced set of bad practices, I still didn't develop a stage 3 cystocele and rectocele until a few years ago. I am now 62 years old and still learning to live with it.

My husband has had three hernia surgeries with surgical mesh (two failures so far) so I will not consider a mesh repair or bladder sling. After finding Christine Kent's website and buying a book, DVD, and baton about three years ago, I was confirmed in my decision to avoid surgery. I believe a program of WW posture and exercise, good diet, weight maintenance, and a healthy sexual relationship can help me prevent a catastrophe that would require surgery. (Yes, I've been reading recent posts on “Libido” and am still trying to not be afraid to have sex and trying to still want to.) I began to make some progress, but I am overweight and lazy and had other pressing issues that kept me from daily exercise or focus on posture. So I got a pessary a couple of years ago. It has made my condition worse; however, without it, I couldn't garden or mow or vacuum or spend a busy day on my feet. I'll continue to use it when I have to and give myself a rest from it when I don't. I've used a round pessary but it slips, and I'm considering trying a cube. I'll continue to watch the forum for more information on your experiences with that.

As my other pressing issues are being settled and my physical condition has become more pressing, I am ready to try again. I have no doubt that Ms. Kent's whole woman program is good information and good advice. I also value the fellowship, realism and encouragement I see in the forum. I present this as a way of introducing myself. I have always been the kind of person who bursts into a room and demands all the attention, with the idea that the more shock value I can stir, the better. I have also never been afraid to teach something or give advice as if I knew what I was talking about when I didn't. Now I am finally trying to obtain some humility and meekness (willingness to learn) for a change. I also recognize that what I do confidently know by reason and experience might be of use to someone who has a question about it.

I have thought this set of conditions we share is of epidemic proportions, but I'm surprised at how young so many of you are and wonder even more what is going on. Has obstetrical care gotten so much worse during the last thirty years? How many other issues are involved in this? How long (how many generations) has this been going on? These issues and others like informing young women, exercise, libido, use of herbs and foods, et al, interest me and I look forward to reading and participating when I may have something to offer.

Thank you for reading.

Forum:

MsNightingale

January 13, 2013 - 9:37pm

It is great to read your post. Welcome to this site. So, it sounds like you have the tools (book and baton and dvds) and now just need to get remotivated. I would recommend that you begin by putting your posture in order. You will want to commit to this so that it becomes your natural posture. It is not something to do once in a while. For exercise, start with little walks and slowly build up to longer ones. So many factors contribute to prolapse and as you read about here you will meet many young women who have not had babies or even a sexual relationship yet. I hope that you dedicate yourself to building your new posture and then use that personality of yours to spread the word for this work! I personally walk 3 miles most days and I try to do either the Prolapse dvd or a yoga one. You mentioned having some issues right now, so start slow and build up little by little. Best wishes to you!

louiseds

January 14, 2013 - 12:37am

Darcyfury, Your account has been blocked because you inserted a gratuitous link, which has been disabled. You will have to contact Lanny Goodman if you want your account reinstated.

Louise

Bebe

January 14, 2013 - 9:44am

Thanks MsNightingale for your welcome and encouragement. We're strange creatures....to know that something works well and is good for us and still not do it. The posture feels great (except that my lower back is so stiff)! Also, I feel like my rear end is sticking out, but my son and husband tell me it's as flat as usual.

Thanks, darcyfury. The epidural was too strong on my first delivery and my baby's heart rate was affected. My diaphragm was numbed and my oxygen levels fell which also affected the baby. The forceps delivery bruised his cheeks so his sucking reflex was affected by the drugs and soreness. It was a rocky start and I gave in to the pediatrician and started him on formula. This was because of induced labor and that was because of my fear and inexperience. It didn't happen again. What is "moi oxygen" ?

Thank you, louiseds, for your watchful eye.

I think giving information in personal story form is much better received than giving warnings of "don't trust". So my conclusion here for first time mothers is to trust the natural process (it was perfectly designed to work), trust your instincts (built in with the design), and learn and gain confidence from your experience. I had two natural deliveries and my success with breastfeeding increased each time so that my youngest son never had a bottle. Breastfeeding is part of the recovery process for your body besides being the perfect food and bonding opportunity. Around my house, too, we all know "the baby's" sh-t don't stink.

wholewomanUK

January 14, 2013 - 11:58am

Hi Bebe,
Welcome to this site. Thank you so much for your encouraging post. Trusting in ourselves and in women is an important aspect of this work. Women are generally well informed about general health issues and many of us wish to be more informed and involved in our health treatment.
If you've got the book - check out what Christine says about prolapse and pessaries, if you haven't already.
Wishing you all the best,
xwholewomanuk

Bebe

January 14, 2013 - 12:28pm

Hello, wholewomanUK. I have the second edition of "Saving the Whole Woman" and have read what Christine has to say about pessaries. I intend to go to the kitchen in good posture, without pessary, and cut up beef and vegetables for soup. I can see that "veterans" of this site are all about encouraging the whole woman system and it is what I need. Thank you.

Surviving60

January 15, 2013 - 8:06am

Hi Bebe and thanks so much for your very inspiring post. I am also 62 and have been doing this work for 2-1/2 years. It has been totally life-changing for me. Please do try and immerse yourself totally in this. The posture will become a habit eventually. I feel better in my body, at my age, with prolapse, than I ever did before! Is that not a rather strong statement? No statement is strong enough to express what WW has done for me. Do it - let nothing stand in your way. Protect your lumbar curvature. Keep those organs forward. This is not just about prolapse. Your hips and spine will thank you. Stay tuned for Christine's upcoming hips book. Welcome back!! - Surviving

chickaboom

January 15, 2013 - 9:42am

That is truly amazing, S60, that you feel better now - with WW- than ever before. Love reading your encouraging words!

wholewomanUK

January 15, 2013 - 2:25pm

Hi Everyone,
Just wanted to ditto what Surviving60 said above. I also feel happier, healthier and better than I have done in years, physically, mentally and emotionally. I wouldn't wish the devastation I felt when I initially experienced pop on anyone. Having said that, the whole experience and the WW work ironically changed my life for the better. Once you start looking at the world through the WW lens, everything changes and permeates everything. Everything is connected. Not just physically but mentally, emotionally, environmentally... every which way! The WW path is a journey through life - thankfully with many tools and resources and support.

Bon voyage! xwholewomanuk

Bebe

January 15, 2013 - 9:03pm

Thanks, Surviving60, for your welcome. I think you two must be VIPs around here and I wanted to make a personal response.

I'll be rereading "Saving the Whole Woman". When I began the exercises before and continued for several months, I worked from the book and kept referring to the photos to check my posture and positions. I love the leg exercises. They strengthened by knees and ankles, gave me more flexibility in my hips, helped my balance, and I like to think added some grace to my movement. The baton and a mirror really forced me to get that part right. I also have the DVD (First Aid) and liked it too. The work that I did in exercises helped give me confidence to begin a garden again, which took up much of my time and energy, and you can guess the end of that. Well, try and try again. I actually believe your endorsements...here's to "better than ever."

jayvon

January 16, 2013 - 1:18am

Thank you ladies for your encouragement. xwholewomanuk, just as stated, I feel devastated and in denial right now. Also is so limiting my daily activity. My prolapse condition became very noticeable a couple of months ago after 9 months of back and leg issues due to a spondylothesis and stenosis. Instead of epidurals, I choose the path of structural integration which works on fascia mainly. I also did some prolozone injections. I recently began a strengthening and posture program done completely on the floor so as not to compromise the back. The chiropractor instructor found that my right hip was very much involved in the scenario. It is locked up and weak.
Have anyone experienced the back, legs, knees or hips issues before or after their prolapse?
I am trying to make the connection. My posture needs the lumbar curve, strength and flexibility in legs, hips and decompression in thoracic spine and release of rounded back. It is a long road for me to get my posture and strength back!

Have Christine's book and dvd now. Can only manage the floor exercises. How long does it take to see some results with her program and did you integrate every aspect right away in your recovery?

Thank you for any input or suggestions. I am feeling very alone and confused. I hope this forum will help

Surviving60

January 16, 2013 - 9:06am

Hi jayvon. Can you do the standing posture? Can you stand with relaxed belly, chest pulled up, shoulders down but not back? If you can assume this posture when standing and walking, without being in any immediate pain, then you will be doing the WW work regardless of how much exercise you can handle. Take it slow. If you feel soreness, this is normal, but since you have these other issues, you may need to be more careful than some of the rest of us. It takes time for that lumbar curvature to come back. I've been doing this for 2-1/2 years and I am still seeing improvements in lumbar curvature and in prolapse symptoms. Work to protect the lower spine in little ways, too. Stuff something into your lower back when you drive. Car seats or notoriously not prolapse-friendly. Keep us posted here, this is a fantastic helpful bunch of ladies here! - Surviving

louiseds

January 17, 2013 - 7:58pm

Hi Bebe

It doesn't really matter what the oxygen link was. It was an advertisement, not about pelvic organ prolapse, or any key related information, and it was designed to make you curious and follow the link. That's why I blocked her. One of my jobs is checking all the new members' credentials. I don't delete users who may be genuine, but darcyfury was using the Forums for her own promotion. She may have received a Google alert because you mentioned "oxygen" in your post. If she wants to email Lanny and get unblocked because she *is* genuine, then she is quite welcome to, but if she repeats her self-promotion she will be deleted forever, which would be a bit self-defeating on her part. It is a bit of a pain having to stand by the front door and vet people who want to come in but it is worth it because it keeps the Forums clean of SPAM. Sometimes I get it wrong, which I did in this case.

There are always jobs to be done at Whole Woman, and some of them can be done by people other than Lanny and Christine. When you or anyone else has been here a while you might like to contact Lanny and see if there is a volunteer job that you would be good at doing. Sometimes there are jobs, or one off projects that require certain skills, or judgement, or knowledge, or simply 10 minutes a day of your time. I get so much out of Whole Woman, so I see it as good all round to give something back. That's not me wanting a pat on the back. Whole Woman is very tight financially, because there is no advertising on the site. What keeps the site running is a lot of hard work, Lanny's IT skills and sale of products and Christine's consultations.

You are right. It is very comforting having a community of women who have the same group of conditions, who are all struggling in our own ways, and who have found our own solutions or adopted the solutions of others. This is the way woman have always worked together. It is as if we are all part of the same organism.

I have a friend who is over 60 who has been nearly quadriplegic since he was 21, with movement of his arms and a little control of his hands. He plays slide guitar like a demon, and blues harp. He does beautiful wood turning and furniture repairs with a little physical help from another person, He has a can-do brain and is quite a community leader. He just thinks his way around his challenges and expects no special treatment, asking for help if he needs it. I figure that if Grant can get around his disability, and regard his life as normal, then I can get around prolapse. He is an incredibly inspiring person and I am grateful to have him in my life.

Attitude definitely plays a significant part. There is always seems to be a point at which we find we get stuck, and cannot get past it. Sometimes we eventually find a solution and move to the next stage. Mine is that I tend to overdo the lifting in awkward positions and feel it for a few hours afterwards. My response is to find a way to do that job next time without it causing symptoms. I will post about that separately.

If you get to that point by using Whole Woman techniques there is always another tweek or another behaviour change that you can add to improve it. When you reach 'as good as it gets', and cannot get any further (which may take a few years), or if, despite all your efforts, your prolapse continues to worsen, then you just have to make the difficult decision of whether your current unsatisfactory condition is better than an unknown result of surgery (which might improve your condition considerably, but for an indeterminate time, and may include side effects or further prolapse). Only the woman herself can make that decision. I don't think you are anywhere near that.

The Group is your resource.

Bebe

January 17, 2013 - 10:13pm

Thanks for answering my question and sincerely thanks for your work on the site. I think this website and the people who are involved in managing it are really special and doing a very, very important service. I am trying to read through a lot of the topics and catch the "tone" so that if I make a comment I don't embarrass myself or frustrate anyone. I think it's important not to "teach" things I don't know to be true...prove all things...and I'll try to identify experiences as "experiences" and not as fundamental truths. It wouldn't be good for any of us to trash this valuable resource. If I need correction on anything I write, even though you would be welcome to use my email to address me, I'll understand why it should be posted for the sake of clarity for all.

louiseds

January 17, 2013 - 10:55pm

You're doing very well, Bebe. :-)

BTW, carrying and birthing 5 children under 8 averages out at falling pregnant when your last baby was average 9 months old. When you consider that your body takes about 2 years to completely revert from a pregnancy, you would have become pregnant again four times, just when your body was ramping up its reversion. So each time you became pregnant with a body that had residual 'laxity' from the previous birth and pregnancy.

You *have* done well. Imagine the yummy mummy you will be in a couple of years time, when your body finally gets the chance to 'go back to normal' after this coming birth! ;-)

Louise