Prolapse and Sexual Function

Body: 

Hello,

It's been quite some time since I last posted here.

I am in my late sixties. Was diagnosed with a cystocele quite some time ago. I live with it. Isn't painful, just feels as though I'm wearing a tampon (better than pain). And I walk around 2 hrs daily. Definitely don't want surgery due to the bad success ratio and high repeat ratio with these procedures.

I have a new man in my life. Am worried as to how my prolapse (there is a bulge there) will affect having sex. Will it make me bleed, for instance? I understand that many men have never even heard of POP! Can full penetration be achieved or will the ''bulge'' interfere? I understand this can differ depending on the physical/emotional situations of each individual woman (not to speak of the men)!

As with many post-menopausal women, my libido sure ain't the same as when I was in my early twenties and the prolapse doesn't exactly help in that respect, but I do consider myself to be sexually active and do need sex in my life.

I have just broached the subject with my new guy, and he seems ok with it, but I suspect he's also worried about the ''penetration'' issue.

TIA to all responders.

Sevilla

Congratulations on finding an exciting new relationship with someone you can talk to about your POP. I did just a little research and found a thread about sex in which you participated and may have forgotten. It's the first time I ran into the thread and found it interesting and informative. It is: http://wholewoman.com/forum/node/4923

From a more personal point, I noted the diagnosis of stage 3 cystocele on my own medical record. I am 62 years old. I also have a bulge, but not so much when I'm lying down. I am able to receive full penetration in missionary, 'doggie', side-lying spooning, and woman on top positions. Missionary position is the most difficult one to keep my husband's penis from slipping out. Except for elbow-burns and weak knees, 'doggie' style gets the best penetration. I have sometimes noted a trace of blood, but that has been more likely to happen when I was using a pessary intermittently during the day. (Intermittent use makes the irritation of wearing it worse....not 'hardening' the tissue to be used to the friction of wearing a pessary.) I haven't had any problem with dryness, though, so that has helped.

I noticed in the other thread that you commented on men's problems with prostrate, etc. Unless you're a lucky cougar, you're probably dealing with a man who has his own concerns and insecurities. My husband suffered for a few years from hernias before he submitted to surgical repair and found ways to deal with his problems with them during intercourse for his sake and mine. I understand feeling less desire and feeling less than desirable with POP, but I figure I should be able to compensate and participate with him as he has done for me. The very most useful thing is affectionate desire toward and from your partner and you can both have a relaxed pleasurable experience. If you two can talk about it, you can work it out...especially in a blooming new relationship.

Enjoy!

Yes - please do look at old posts. As you can imagine there are a lot on this subject!
Yes I think it's tru most men are genuinely unaware of the pop issues. It's really a dominant issue for women as far as I can tell from my own experience and reading the forum posts. I sometimes wonder if men would notice at all most of the time, if their women didm't talk about it.

Sounds like you've met an understanding man you can talk to, which is great. Best thing - try things and see. We're all different - so we can only give general advice for individual cases.

BTW - I heard some women use a little of their own spit (inserted by their finger), instead of vaginal creams for vaginal dryness. I tried it recently and it seemed to work. Anyone any further thoughts on this?

Good luck - and happy experimentation!
xwholewomanuk