I'm scared :-(

Submitted by Terrified81 on December 10, 2013 - 5:43pm
Body: 

Hello, I am new to WW. I'm so glad I found this site.

I am 32 years old. I have had issues with bowels my whole life. Up until I was 27 I always suffered constipation, it was at this age I discovered if I took magnesium and vitamin c I would get diahorrea so that is what I have done ever since. However regardless of whether my poo is sift or hard I have to push/strain and fir the last 30% to come out, push on my perineum and around my anus. I never told anyone cause I was so embarrassed. I am so very embarrassed just writing this here. I also had bloating but never any trouble passing wind. Doing this over the years has given me many hemorrhoid and anal fissures with rectal bleeding, they always healed in 2 days though. Fast forward 5 years and 12 weeks ago I had a baby via emergency c section. I was fine using my usual tricks up until 9 weeks ago (so this new issue has been going on for 3 weeks) when I got another anal fissure, this one bled significantly more than the past. I tried to get on with life but it was not healing, then all of a sudden I was unable to poop or pass wind. I could feel the pressure building up in my rectum but no matter what I did it would not come out. After a few days my poo returned to my old tricks (diahorrea, pushing and pushing on perineum for last 30%) but I still cannot pass wind, it's stuck in my rectum. Also my fissure has been there for three weeks and does not want to heal. It is so uncomfortable and the pressure and pain builds up and into my tummy. I used to pass wind 20 odd times a day with such ease.

I went to dr, several dr's actually and ED. I was told its a anal fissure (I knew that), I was told I may have a rectal pouch of some kind that poo is getting stuck in,I was told I have a retroverted uterus. I googled it and a retrovetred uterus does not cause these problems. A lot of my issues match a rectocele but I do not have anything hanging out of falling out of my vagina or bottom, I do not have the golf ball feeling and it does not hurt to walk. Everything else matches.

I finally got an appointment with a colorectal surgeon, my appointment is today. Can he diagnose a rectocele? I am so scared girls, I have cried every day for nearly 2 weeks. I have also been having passive thoughts of ending my life. Passive meaning I won't act in them but I do think about it.mi am scared its a rectocele, I'm scared my fissure won't heal. I just want my bottom to be normal and not rule my life. I am terrified. I also have post partum hyperthyroidism too which doesn't help matters. I am falling apart. I just want to enjoy my beautiful son who I love so much and my husband who is the most amazing man but I am so depressed.

I am sorry for writing so much, this is just consuming me :-(.

Forum:

Terrified81

December 10, 2013 - 5:52pm

I've also read everywhere that surgery is a bad idea. Can I ask why?

Surviving60

December 10, 2013 - 8:01pm

Hi Terrified. I assume by the time you read this you will have been to your surgeon appointment. Let us know what he has to say.

First I want to say something about post-partum depression. If you have it, you need to get real help, more than just what a few of us ladies can say to buck you up. A new mom who would even passively think of ending her life, of doing something that would ruin the lives of her wonderful family, is reacting to something much deeper than prolapse or anal fissures. I'm not making light of those issues, but I hope that you understand what I'm saying. Your statement seems like a cry for help, and if these feelings don't subside as you continue to heal and get a handle on your physical problems, please talk to someone.

With your history I certainly would suspect rectocele, which isn't the end of the world (I have both rectocele and cystocele). Mine does not hang out, nor does it hurt to walk; I manage it quite nicely with Whole Woman posture, which is what this site is all about.

You are VERY early in the PP healing period; lots of ups and downs ahead of you there.

Let's see what the doc says first. You have mentioned quite a number of things in your post. Surgery of any kind is to be very carefully considered, because there is quite a potential for damage, failure, repeat surgeries......not a good road to go down, because you can't ever go back. - Surviving

Aging gracefully

December 11, 2013 - 6:52am

I just want to correct you about the retroverted uterus. Because it is leaning onto the rectum, it does create a lot of problems with pooing. That is where mine was sitting most of my life, and I always strained on the toilet. Getting the uterus off your rectum with whole woman posture and exercises will help your rectum tremendously. Sounds like all the straining and diarrhea aren't helping your poor rectum at all. I think also getting your diet under control will help you more than taking things that cause a laxative effect in your bowels.
I hope you read around here and try out whole woman before you consider surgery, because once you start that you can never go back. In most cases one surgery changes things enough up there to cause something else to prolapse. Not a good path to be on.
Wish you the best, you and your baby.

BeingHuman

March 21, 2015 - 10:03am

Terrified81, we seem to have very similar situations - it's been a while since your last post and hoping you've had a better year. Please update with us if you have news to share.

Be well,
BeingHuman