Prolapsed Uterus??

Hello and welcome to the forum. Doctors are notoriously poor at treating pelvic organ support issues, but you have some significant events in your past, and I wouldn't want to discourage you from getting checked out to get a clearer picture of what's going on. You can do a prolapse self-exam by going over to the Resources tab, then to the Libary link, where you will put "self-exam" into the search box to find the article. If you can feel your cervix close to the vaginal opening, it might be somewhat prolapsed, but if it's high up in there and you don't feel or see any of those other bulgy things, then it's unlikely you have a prolapse at this point. We don't give medical advice here, and wouldn't want you to overlook a more serious problem, especially at your young age and with what you have endured so far. We have a lovely community of women here and we will give you the best support we can. I hope that you have friends and family that can provide support as well. Take care of yourself my dear, please write back and update us on your progress. - Surviving

So sorry to hear what has happened to you but I just wanted to say your mum wouldn't/shouldn't be disappointed as you've done nothing wrong whatsoever, you don't say how long ago you lost the baby? The only other thing you need to think about is could this guy have given you any sexual infections? I don't want to scare you but it may be you do need some medical help, doctors aren't great with prolapse. Wishing you all the very best with your recovery

When we say doctors aren't great with prolapse what we mean is that they talk in terms of surgery as this is their favoured form of treatment. Now at your age with so much of your life ahead of you and the strong possibility of marriage and beautiful children in the future after you have worked at your career, there is no doctor worth her/his salt who is going to recommend surgery repair for prolapse if they indeed find that you have a prolapsed pelvic organ. Rather they will advise against surgery at this stage and tell you to come back after you have children, if you later think it still an option.
If it does prove to be prolapse then as the ladies above have said they will help you manage that with posture, diet and exercise.
As for a doctor touching you and you not wanting that, then that is your choice and you are free to tell the doctor this up front, or when the doctor announces that they wish to examine you. It may in fact not even come to that. Modern medical practice in the doctor's surgery very frequently involves very little in the way of physical examination. You would probably be sent for tests; blood tests, ultra sounds that type of thing where there is very little physical contact and about which again you have a choice. Ask what it is the doctor is attempting to rule out with these tests. The doctor's answer will give you some idea of the possible seriousness of your condition and you can discuss this.
So my advice would be to present yourself and your symptoms to your doctor just so they can rule out anything major, on-going or recurrent and by that I mean life threatening, painful or health deteriorating . Then if your health is in fact ok and you have some prolapse then come back and talk some more with the ladies here.

It made me sad to read what you have been through at so early an age, and I can absolutely understand and support your not wanting to share your experiences with your mother, as I had a (surgical) abortion having just turned 16, and my Mum was present and never stopped telling me how awful it was to witness for the last 20-odd years until her death 4 years ago, making me feel guilty and regretful for having ever confided in, and relied on her in this terrifying situation.

Anyway, I feel you should seek and find some help, both for your physical as well as your emotional suffering. Needing and asking for help and support is no sign of weakness, but a sign of courage, strength and self-respect, especially when it means you may get some rejection, or some advice that does not feel right for you. If that happens, know that no one has the right to judge you and that you are absolutely within your rights of saying "no" to whatever treatment or advice you may be offered, as you are entitled to say "no" in every situation of your life.

What you describe sounds like the symptoms of endometriosis (especially the period pains when you are not on your period), but you should definitely see a doctor and get a check-up. Not all doctors are the same, like someone else said they are unlikely to be trigger happy on surgical interventions with a woman your age. You can "shop around" for a doctor until you find someone you feel you can trust and talk openly with, and feel safe to be examined by. Having had your physical boundaries overstepped by someone who inflicted sexual acts on you in a violent way naturally would make you feel uneasy about being touched. Respect and trust your intuition as to who feels safe. Maybe see a doctor with whom a friend has had good experience and take that friend along when you see the doctor, or if there isn't a friend maybe a teacher from your school if you are still attending school, to help you feel safe and supported.

Even more importantly than this, you might want to see a counsellor to talk to about the experience, this doesn't even have to be face to face, it could be a helpline, most cities have women's refuges and rape crisis support lines in place, as yours is tragically such a common trauma many young women experience.

Finally, the decision that it is not the right time, or the right partner, to have a baby with is every woman's right to make and there is no reason for any regret or disappointment in that. What causes me concern is the way in which you went about it (working yourself past exhaustion every day until you miscarried). This, as well as your choice of "young and crazy" for an alias, seems to say that you don't treat yourself very kindly. Most likely this is a result of how you have experienced yourself treated by those around you in the past, but maybe you can find it in you to make the choice now to henceforth treat yourself with love and compassion and dignity, seek healing for your mind and body and heart and choose a name for yourself that doesn't dismiss your perception of the world as "crazy" - how about "Young Marine"?

With love and best wishes for you, now and always!

Sekhmet, I know your post was for "youngandcrazy", but I wanted to tell you that your post was absolutely beautiful, loving, and full of sound advice. I hope youngandcrazy sees it and can feel your loving arms wrapped around her. Simply heartfelt!

acceptance for who and what we are is perhaps the greatest gift that can be extended for each and everyone of us. Personally speaking, as a 17 year old I would not have liked my present life choices to be questioned including the choice of alias on this thread anymore than I would now. Nobody else was there and lived what I lived when I was seventeen, so nobody else really knows; although they are free to guess and emphasize. To identify with someone and send them your love and care is also a gift to both you, the giver, and the receiver.
We can all be told what we should be doing, it does not mean we are ready to take that advice or even that we should. Throughout our lives we are constantly making the best decision we can for ourselves at that moment of time. Whereas, to the observer's eyes that may not always seem the case. What the name young and crazy implies to me is some wise young head who has done an awful lot of learning which most mothers would wish they hadn't needed to, but as a result of that learning they have made can view their younger self in a compassionate and adult way and I suspect there is a certain self irony in the use of the name youngandcrazy. Reading youngandcrazy's post I think she has turned that learning corner a long time ago and is very intent on doing what is the best for herself, just busy jumping a few hurdles like doctor's consultations at the moment which has necessitated a rehash of the past which is brave. As to the future, women have been known to stick to their guns, or change their mind and both with immunity. The future, after all, can look after itself and heaven can wait.