Torn! To have another child and risk it or not?! Do you wish you hadn't?

Submitted by priss35 on January 13, 2014 - 10:27pm
Body: 

Hi! A little back story before I get to my main question! I am 35 and in the last week I have realized that I have POP. I have self diagnosed and believe it is rectocele and cystocele. Cervix seems to be in normal position still. For quite a while several months to a couple years, I have noticed that there was a little extra bulge. Just a little though and it didn't alarm me in the least. I just thought that was something unique to me. I had a yeast infection start up about two weeks ago and I always have a bigger bulge with that. Again, I thought noting of it. The infection cleared and my period started on time. I suspect it was a miscarriage, as it has been identical to the one that I had in August. The only thing is that it was far earlier and I never got a positive test as I was 15 days past ovulation when my "period" began. I easy could have not had enough HCG in my system to test positive yet. I kind of think the Monistat made me miscarry so early. It says to not use if you are pregnant. SMH! Anyway, this has made me more aware of my vagina and I have kept a close eye on it. The little bulge that I had, has doubled, I would say. I can stand up and hold a mirror to look and my bulges are no more than a half inch inside of me. I can't feel it when I walk or anything. I only feel mild pressure as I am sitting at the moment.

So…since my miscarriage in August, we have been trying to conceive again. Been charting, temping, yada yada yada. SInce discovering my POP, I am terrified to get pregnant again. I realize that many woman go on to have successful pregnancies and normal deliveries and their POP does not get worse and with some it is the opposite. I am so angry about this. I want a sibling for my 3 year old. I would love to try for a son for my husband. His last name won't carry if we don't have a son. For my own personal reasons, I need a pregnancy and birth do over, if you will. I don't expect anyone to understand that last part, but I really want it. I miss the little fluffy diaper butts and need to do that one more time. Silly, I know! I feel like that has all been taken away from me and I have to say no to another child if I want to do what is best for my body.

Have any of you ever purposefully gotten pregnant after finding your POP and regretted it? When I say regret, I do NOT mean regret the child that came as a result. I mean do you regret what it did to your body. In hind site, would you have gotten pregnant again? Please share your success stories and horror stories!

Forum:

Aussie Soul Sister

January 14, 2014 - 12:07am

Hi dear priss,
If you search the forums you will find many women here including me who had more children after developing pop.
Mine showed up during my 2nd pregnancy, & I went onto have a third baby weighing 4.160kg ( 9lb3), with no problems relating to pop.
You have the added advantage of adopting WWPosture & exercises, as it was 17 years before I came across Christine's work.
I don't regret the subsequent pregnancies in relation to perceived damage. Whole Woman Posture & exercise is part of my life - you have a 17year head start, so make the most of it as the benefits are far reaching & lifelong.
There is no reason why you can't enjoy more fluffy diaper butts - I treasure the unique & personal experience of the babies moving in utero.
These days girls can carry on the family name if they choose to.
Best wishes,
Aussie Soul sister

chickaboom

January 14, 2014 - 3:32am

I have gone on to have another one after prolapse. My 3rd and 4th were both post prolapse, I just wasn't aware of it until after #3.

It left me no worse for the wear; I'd say that at 10 mos pp with #4, I'm exactly where I was 10 mos pp with #3.

You must become aware of your pelvic organs and their positions throughout the day, with every movement. Learning the posture will do this for you. Learn how to lift your chest and relax your belly (I still have trouble with this one) - keeping your pelvic organs towards the front of your body instead of slouching back and into the vagina. During my last pregnancy, I totally avoided soft couches and chairs that forced me to sink in and slouch, preferring instead to sit on the hard floor (forces you to keep adjusting your position and "renewing" your posture). There are moms on here who have gone on to have 2 and 3 after discovering their prolapses, it totally can be done. In fact, it has been hypothesized that a pregnancy carried out with postural awareness, followed by a natural spontaneous birth, might in fact re-mold the pelvis, positioning the organs more in their proper positions. A second chance, if you will.

Surviving60

January 14, 2014 - 4:58am

You can have as many of those cute diaper butts as you want. In my heart I absolutely know that what Chicka says is true about the remolding of the pelvis. If you commit to this work, you can be no worse off, and very possibly better than you were. And the benefits a few decades down the road are even greater. - Surviving

priss35

January 14, 2014 - 10:36am

Thanks for the support, ladies! I fully intend to implement the WW Posture. I have not bought the book or video and won't be able to for a few weeks, but I will start working on posture and sitting in the floor more. The posture feels so awkward and tiring! I have a long, long way to go before it starts to feel normal to me! I took ballet for several years and well…. total opposite! I feel like a slob letting my abdomen relax. I must buy looser fitting shirts to hide my new shape! :-) :sigh: I also realize that any daughter I do have can choose to carry my husbands name on, but I like the idea of it being done the traditional way. He says he is okay if it doesn't. It's more me wanting that for him. I will look for those threads of positive subsequent birth stories!

Surviving60

January 14, 2014 - 10:51am

We've all been there with the whole relaxed-belly thing. This is really our natural childhood posture (look around at kids!) but it has been totally brainwashed out of so many of us, that it feels like starting over. If you remember to pull the chest up strongly, and keep the shoulders down but not back, you will not feel like a slob, I promise. You will feel long and strong. I have my share of belly fat and this has been an incentive to lose some of that (not there yet). But belly fat looks awful when you suck it in - the mirror does not lie! So go for it. - Surviving

granolamom

January 26, 2014 - 1:38am

I had two babies after finding my prolapse, no regrets.
I do recommend starting with the posture asap, and maybe even the firebreathing and nauli so that you can regain your confidence in your body.
a pg may involve a temporary setback in terms of prolapse, but once you know you can stabilize and/or reverse it, you will have nothing to fear.
I do understand the need for a 'birth do-over',and I'm so sorry about the miscarriage (((hugs)))