Is it prolaspe?

Body: 

I have just joined the forum after weeks of reading posts trying to figure out my situation. I guess I am looking for advice/support as I am feeling deeply depressed about what is happening to me. I am trying not to be a 'victim' but boy is it taking up a lot of my energy.

Here's my story:

I'm 8 months postpartum and about 3 months ago literally woke up one morning feeling heavy and aching pain in my pelvic area, lower back, perineum and vagina.

I had a terrible labour and delivery (paid mega dollars to go privately under an obstetrician - MORE FOOL ME), induced at 41 weeks, one hour later I'm having contractions 2 mins apart and start pushing an hour later, pushed for 3.5 hours, ended up in theatre with spinal block, forceps delivery and episiotomy and tearing at both ends of the cut. My medical notes say 'extensive suturing'. My recovery was lengthy and extremely painful, I couldn't walk for a week and struggled with terrible heaviness and pain for over 3 months. I also got really bad hemorrhoids and couldn't poo for a month without glycerin suppositories.

My symptoms did improve and I almost felt about 80% back to normal for about a month, but now I have regressed. My gut feeling tells me this is caused by all the lifting of my ever growing baby.

I have been to see a urogynaecologist who basically said there is nothing wrong but physio will help. He did however discover a mass of scar tissue about half an inch long inside my vagina. I have been to a pelvic floor physio (who ironically was pregnant) and she told me to do kegals as the levator (sp?) muscle on the side of the episiotomy scar is not working. Nothing else, just 10 kegals 3x a day.

I did the kegals for about a week and they made me feel weird. I then started researching on the internet and found this site. I still don't know if what I am experiencing is true prolapse, there is nothing really protruding from my vagina and I have done the self examine (as per Christine's instructions) but I struggle to work out if anything is bulging as it's all so squishy in there. I am however certain my cervix is lower than normal, I can easily touch it about 1.5 inches (up to my second knuckle) in and I could never do this before my pregnancy.

So my current symptoms are:

Lower back pain
Lower pelvic pain (in the front)
Vaginal, rectum and perineum pressure (varies daily)
Lower cervix
Loose vagina and it's suck air up there easily
Occasional sharp pain in rectum (I think this is the hemorrhoids)

I am still breastfeeding and plan on continuing until my baby self weans.

Sorry for the long post but I am scared about what is happening to me, I am unsure if this is prolaspe or if it's something else that I need to get checked out?

I feel like the entire medical community (I'm from New Zealand) has let me down. I live with the regret every day of not taking control of my own labour and delivery and ending up with unnecessary interventions which have damaged me for life.

Luckily my baby is healthy but this issue is impacting on my ability to enjoy motherhood.

I can't even find any support groups in NZ to reach out to other mothers who might be going through the same thing.

Thanks for reading.......

You have come to the right place. I am much older than you & probably only have a sagging vagina rather than real prolapse, but the woman who told me about this group is only in her 30s & with her last child had prolapse of all 3 organs. She refused to do the recommended surgery & finally found this group. I think it took a few months & she is in good shape.
The easiest part to me is to maintain the posture recommended. I don't do all the movements in the book very regularly, but even tho you may not feel the area, they work. I think walking & squatting would help. Please don't despair. Many have been encouraged. I love the internet as we can get help from all over the world. I'm from Illinois & my friend is from Georgia(USA), yet she has helped so much. I don't check this site too often, but I hope to hear good news from you soon!((HUGS))

One more thing, try applying vitamin E to the scar tissue. That is supposed to help. Just open up a gel capsule of the cheaper E & apply with the fingers. I wish I knew about it sooner when I had the episiotomy scar. Once in a while it still hurts & my kids are in their 30s!
Best wishes!

Hi rubytuesday and welcome,
Your body can take up to two full years to heal from pregnancy, so in that you have time. The scar tissue on the perineum can sometimes be a hindrance in healing, but this just makes this even more important to learn and adopt whole woman posture into your life. Moving those organs away from your vagina and into your lower belly will help relieve all the pressure and bulginess you are having. I had 3 quite long episiotomies, and I do remember some numbness in my perineum for a time afterwards, but for me the feeling did come back.
Learn all you can from Christine's teachings. The postpartum woman has the best chance of recovery from prolapse. Christine's second wheel yoga DVD has a lovely routine for the postpartum woman, although I do it also, just because I love the way it makes me feel!
Walking should be done in strong whole woman posture. This is the way many of us can practice the posture, really working on every detail of it. Don't do squatting as suggested above, unless it is part of one of Christine's exercise routines which are done in a very gentle way. Squatting on its own, especially if done deeply isn't going to help your prolapse.
This work also helps flatten the vagina. As the organs are being forced up over the pubic bone and into the lower belly, the vagina is pulled into a flattened tube the way it is meant to be: a closed airless space. I used to get soo many vaginal farts before I started this work. It could be so embarrassing in public, but since doing this work, that has gone away for the most part!
Congratulations on your baby! Have heart, these things all take time, and we have the most wonderful teacher in Christine!

Just wanted to say hello and say we are here for you, my little boy is over two years now and expecting my second. Just wanted to say I went over and over my birth experience and beat myself up over why I let it happen that way, I was also told I was having the baby and to push, when I look back, no internal had been carried out to check I was actually fully dilated and I didn't have the urge to push so what was I doing, I had an episiotomy and kept going over and over the birth and why I had let it happen. But being honest I had symptoms before and though none of this helped you need to try and move on and it sounds wrong but that takes time, like a grieving process and then you start to do positive things to help. I know my posture I have hunched back has been bad since I was young but I did nothing, I am trying to resolve it now. I am happier because I am pregnant so symptoms are better but you do learn to cope and look at it all more positively. So for now take a day at a time and start working ok your posture and first aid for prolapse DVD if you are able to, you will feel happier taking positive action and try to force yourself not to let it ruin being a mum as I did a bit as I was 4 months post partum and cried a lot and wish I hadn't now. Enjoy your baby and take control. I lift my toddler now and no it's not great but you can't live your life not so don't get hung up just try to research lifting as best you can. Take care and congratulations on your baby

Hi

I am from NZ. I want to get a support group going. I don't want to link it to facebook obviously. I am not sure how to go about it yet.

I am in my 30's have two under 5yrs. I have given this site out to so many that I don't want to get too descriptive as I also like the anonymity on here but that doesn't matter if we can all support each other.

I am in the South Island. I have been on here for 2 months and went from a very mild prolapse (advised by physio to do kegals, say 5 people in the know or not know) to a more severe prolapse (then found this site a few weeks after it got worse). You want to start on here today, Christine and the women who write on here are extraordinary.

Best of luck and hope to hear from you soon. I know of one other Kiwi on here too, also a newish Mum.

Hi
Further to above, I have just learnt about the air in the vagina and 'vagina farts' and I first had those after a miscarriage (a few weeks after) and prior to getting pregnant with my first child. I did not get a noticable prolapse until after the birth of my second child but I see things had started to move long before then.

It's good to know that as it means I can't put it all my births.

I still sometimes get the air in there now too but it's not often.

Thanks for the sharing of info.

I can't imagine a better one than right here! That's what we're all here for, to help and support each other. Check in often, let us know your progress, and see what support you can lend to others. - Surviving

Hi rubytuesday,
Not sure if you would be diagnosed with a prolapse if you were examined, although it sounds possible you have a mild pop. However it's so early days after the birth of your child - and you didm;t have an easy time of it. So it's not surprising you're feeling sore, bruised, pressure, some pain, things not feeling right etc. Also you've experienced and experiencing vast hormonal changes and changes on absolutely every level. It's not at all surprising you're feeling emotional an no doubt a wide gamut of emotions, including tearful and low. Perhaps it would be surprising if you didm't in the circumstances! It's ok to feel whatever feelings you do. Acknowledge them and feel them, but also give them a little distance. Those feelings and thoughts are not you - they are how you feel at times. Give them space to exist and a bit of space between who you are and how you are feeling and thinking at that point in time. Don't immerse yourself in negative thoughts and let yourself move on from them when the time is right. In reality, the actual moment of right now is actually fine. Focusing on what is happening right now, helps to stop us dwelling or analysing overly much. When we're really noticing what's happening right now, often we feel better than when our head is immersed in our thoughts. But also - be kind to yourself. Sometimes we experience difficult things, inevitably we do. Sometimes that's hard, inevitably it is. That's ok. So long as we remember 'this too will pass' and we don't get stuck there.
I also had a very hard labour with my first baby. Wanted a home birth - after many painful hours ended up having a caesarian. On reflection I felt the birth experience had been mismanaged both by me and my mid-wife. Neither of us knew what to do properly. I think I buried my unhappiness - which emerged when I became pregnant again which brought up the pain and regret of the first birth. I felt angry, unhappy and depressed after my second child. It passed. But I had to feel and process it before I could really let it go I think.
However as is often the case, without my negative experiences of giving birth and later having a pop - I would never have found Active Birth and Whole Woman, which have been wonderful aspects of my life. Out of the darkness much good can be found!
Love, wholewomanuk

Hi agree Surviving60

I agree that this forum is wonderful for support but as I fellow Kiwi I wanted to comment and say hi (after all we are a pretty small country). I would meet up for a WW walk if someone was local that is what I meant. I am finding local women with prolapse (by talking and asking) and putting them onto this site too.

This site helps me with hard days, thank you everyone.

Thank you for all your kind word of support!!! I cried when I read them :(

I think most of my struggle with dealing with this issue is because I was so active prior to my pregnancy. I rode horses competitively, I did pilates, I walked every day for an hour...now I can barely make it round our local park with the pram.

I am trying really hard to stay in posture and have now bought the First Aid for Prolapse DVD and the 2nd Wheel Yoga DVD (and Christine's book). But I am confused about just how much of these programmes I need to commit to to see an improvement? I feel a bit overwhelmed with the dance/ballet style exercises (which is why I have now bought the yoga DVD which is yet to arrive). Any advice on a good simple programme to do to start me off would be great. Of course I'm also trying to fit it in around a very demanding 8 month old.....

Hi Dear rubytuesday,
You have had a huge change in your life - congratulations. Now you have to get your thinking around adapting your life and when ladies are new to this it can seem overwhelming, so I hope we can give you reassurance that you will benefit and will be able to do most things you used to.
Other ladies on this forum have gone back to riding horses - it can be done in WWPosture.
Pilates can have moves which are not helpful for prolapse.

Try not to rush yourself, as just by walking, sitting and standing in WWP you will have progress - the abdominal muscles are lengthened and strengthened as you walk, your torso will become stronger and support you better as you sit, stand and move around. I found the first noticeable improvement was that my thighs were much stronger, making it easier to use the toilet, and stand up after sitting on chairs.

Rest as much as you need to - learn the exercises by taking your time, it is a journey - a wonderful one.
I found that I was tired when my babies were young and breastfeeding which I loved does take extra energy to make milk, even though I drank plenty of water and ate well and rested between walking, though i didn't know about WW then sadly.
Hope this helps,
Best wishes from Australia,
Aussie Soul Sister

Hi Rubytuesday,
When it comes to the exercises, don't force them. Do what you can each time and try to just be mindful of the posture. I, personally found the first aid for prolapse difficult when I first started. I was not used to the ballet orientated exercise and did get frustrated at times, but I persevered. So glad I did, because those are some of the best exercises for lengthening and strengthening our bodies into the posture.
The yoga DVDs I liked right away, because I had done yoga previously. But with these also, they are not like the traditional male orientated yoga I had been doing, so I did have to adjust and get used to them.
Give yourself time to wrap your head around all this. I remember being very down in the early days of my Prolapse, but I just kept doing the work, and little by little I built up the confidence to do more, and now I do whatever I want within reason, of course, and I know when to rest and take it easy on myself.
Enjoy that little baby! And, as Aussie soul sister has said, it is a journey well worth traveling!!

Ruby, I have many days when I'm lucky if I can get in a good walk. Other days when I can't even do that. When that happens, I don't beat myself up because I know that just being in the posture as I go throughout my day means that I am "doing the work". For a simple program that is not overwhelming, I would first make sure that you understand the posture and apply it to as much of your day as you can. Walk in posture when you take the pram to the park, taking care not to lean into it, which means keeping it close to you. It's actually easier and more beneficial to walk while WEARING the baby, though at 8 months that might be a challenge for both of you! Anyway, when you get a little down-time to check out DVDs, just start at the beginning and see what appeals to you the most. It all helps, no matter how little or how much. The important thing is that you can lose the fear that accompanies a discovery of prolapse, and that is life-changing even at the beginning of this journey! - Surviving

Hey, it honestly gets better and I totally sympathise with you when you frst discover it and learn all this stuff and new baby etc - it's overwhelming! But this forum is wonderful and all the things you can learn from here and Christine are really empowering. Sorry this just a quick reply at the moment!

Well I'm now 2 years postpartum and was hoping that time would help heal me but unfortunately it hasn't. I still suffer the same symptoms after spending a year focusing on my whole woman posture, no heavy lifting, eating well, sitting well, no straining on the toilet etc.

I have now seen a second pelvic floor physio as I can no longer cope with the symptoms I have on a daily basis (chronic lower back pain, hip pain, dragging feeling in my pelvis/vagina/rectum). The physio has diagnosed Levator avulsion on both sides.

It now feels like there is NOTHING that can be done to fix this! I just have to carry on doing what I am doing to 'manage' it. By the way she knew about the whole woman posture and agreed this was the correct way to carry myself.

Has anyone else on this forum had this diagnosis? I am wondering if I need a second opinion/ultrasound????

I am back to feeling tearful and depressed :(

Here is an article that might be of interest.
https://wholewoman.com/blog/?p=385

I've just googled this and it seems to be that it goes hand in hand with prolapse so I'm pretty sure that me and a lot of the other women on here have this to an extent too...I'm one year pp and know how I'd feel in a year if I get the same diagnosis... Pretty fed up and tearful too...but then you've got to ask yourself what has changed, what stayed the same and what has improved. It's great your physio endorses ww and isn't pushing some mad programme of pelvic floor exercises so you know that you are doing all you can. Are your days good and bad or mostly bad? Do you have worse times of the month than others? are there reliable things that help you feel better? At the moment I think you can take some comfort in the fact that it's common (I read 30% of parous women with vaginal deliveries have this to some extent). What you don't have to accept is that it is the reason for all of your symptoms or that there's nothing that can be done to help you feel more comfortable. That's just my feeling on this. I'm sure others will chime in with much better advice but I wanted to respond when you were feeling down and reaching out x

I would think twice about accepting such a questionable diagnosis. In your case, Ruby, wouldn't it make sense that the huge episiotomy/tear would've alleviated enough pressure as to make a bilateral avulsion extremely unlikely? None of gynecology's "theories" of prolapse have held water, and levator avulsion, brought to you by the Prince of Deception himself (as explained in the article Surviving referenced above), is just one more.

It looks to me like it's been less than a year and a half since you started here. But I get it that you are still very symptomatic. It sounds to me like the extensive episiotomy and repair were more like a posterior colporrhaphy than stitching of the vaginal sphincter muscles. This surgery can cause extreme symptoms which can be intractable, as our member blissedout has described.

What kind of WW exercise are you doing? In most cases, the posture is not enough to greatly improve severe symptoms.

Understand that the medical system (which includes PT) has to give medical diagnoses to conditions in order that they fit into the scheme of medical treatments.

Even if the muscles tore away from the bones (highly unlikely!) the area would fill in with scar tissue. No matter what the condition is, and this includes unfortunate cases of post-surgery trauma, what is there to do but recreate as much natural pelvic dynamics and sustain the pelvic organ support system as much as possible throughout the rest of your life? Palliative care (gentle self care, pain management, and acceptance) must take center stage as well.

I am infuriated about what happened to you, Ruby, and can only do my part to help end such horrible practices and the suffering that results.

Wishing you well,

Christine

I was racing to finish the above post as a call was coming through.

I think it is very significant that you saw 80% improvement at one point. As far as I know, Blissedout has not been able get her severe post rectocele "repair" symptoms to improve at all.

Keep doing the work of moving the organs forward, Ruby. Hopefully you can add a morning WW exercise/breathing routine if you don't already have one. If you improved once, you can do it again. These are very dynamic conditions, changing not only day to day, but hour to hour.