my belly - where I hold my emotions

Body: 

Wow - this has been an illuminating week! I just cannot believe how much nervous energy and emotion I hold in my stomach muscles. Like a tight super ball most of the time. So much so that relaxing my lower belly actually stretches muscles heretofore tight and makes them sore.

It's not just a suck and tuck for appearance sake. It feels like a lifetime of holding all negative emotions there.... like I am in constant fight/flight state.

This will not be a quick adjustment for me. It may take years to undo a lifetime of holding stress there. On the bright side, what a wonderful, life and light giving project to embrace. I feel ready.

Really liberating, isn't it! I hear your words and relate completely!

I have been here doing this work for over 4 years, and vicariously experiencing the ups and downs of many women. And I'm here to say, EVEN NOW I can often catch myself with tension in the belly. Just being aware of this is half the battle and you are very perceptive in realizing this already. Many have come and gone from here without reaching that self-knowledge; maybe they weren't open to it, or gave up because it wasn't a quick-fix-for-prolapse type of thing. Congrats and hugs to you - Surviving

In the short time since my prolapse diagnosis and beginning the work, I have become aware of how armored I have been. Yes, intellectually I was aware but leaving my belly soft brings all my feelings to the surface. That is to say I am more sensitive and maybe more aware of my complicity in self punishment.
God says I am bad and therefore I must be punished…. The Goddess belly says that I am sensational and I dance!

christine had a client some years ago whose shoulders were strongly rounded forward. after some unsuccessful effort to get her to reposition her shoulders to low, broad and flat across the back christine asked if she could help reposition the woman's shoulders. as she did so, the woman burst into tears. years of protecting herself had been stored in her shoulders. changing that defensive posture brought up huge vulnerability and at the same time huge catharsis at the realization that the defense was no longer needed.

good work ladies!

lanny (the DH)

Where’s my pop gone?

I was diagnosed with pop by two GPs about a year ago. The first doc offered me surgery. The second said I did not need surgery but sent me for physio.. I was referred to gyno in hospital as well. The appointment only came for last week. I haven’t had any symptoms at all for a few months now. No pressure, no bulge, no nothing. But I decided to keep the hospital appointment and at least find out what stage of pop I had.
The doc was very nice and gave me three internal examinations telling me exactly what he was doing as he gently did the exams. One was a transvaginal scan, which he printed out. And told me everything was normal. After the exam he told me there was abs no descent of the uterus, bladder or rectum so there was no stage of prolapse and everything was perfect. He told me my GPs diagnosis were wrong and if I had a problem it was not gynaecological. I came here like everyone else and was devastated when I saw that there is no cure for pop. . I am confused that if I didn’t have pop what was it then?
If I had have opted for surgery would they have chopped me up anyway?
I am so happy I am back to normal and hope against hope that it never comes back.
I feel healthier than ever with all the healthy tips I have picked up from here. I will always walk the walk and hope for the best.. Just wondering if anyone else has experienced this.
WHMS

There have been women that have done this work for only a short time and become symptom free, and women that have done it longer with longer periods of time without symptoms. It really depends on the severity of your prolapse to begin with and the work you put into it.
Since our organs are always on the move, sometimes our prolapse will and does present itself again even after long periods of time without any symptoms, which is a good reason to always continue this work for a lifetime.
I have to wonder, did they do the transvaginal scan with you lying down or standing? Prolapse doesn't always present itself when lying down, especially if it is a mild prolapse to begin with.
Anyway, good for you!! Enjoy any and all prolapse free days, you deserve them!!

Hi willhealmyself - Prolapse can be without symptoms for years before it becomes apparent. I had what I now know to be prolapse following each of my births, but after I healed from birthing I had no obvious symptoms for 2 decades. Any doctor's assessment is nothing more than a snapshot in time. A mild prolapse can have no symptoms and be virtually non-existent in a prone position.

The WW work is for life....for your hips, spine, pelvic organs, overall health and well-being, physically, emotionally, spiritually.......whether or not you are feeling the bulge at any point in time is not terribly important in the scheme of things. The vast majority of women will end up with prolapse, so your chances of being off the hook here are fairly slim.

I am struck by your doctor's comment that whatever you were experiencing "was not gynecological". Christine has been telling the world for over a decade that prolapse is not a gynecological problem, which is why it does not have a gynecological solution. As she says, if you have to call it something, call it orthopedic.

Interesting to speculate on whether or not you would have been operated on. If it was a GP that offered surgery, then you would have been sent to a gyn. or urogyn. of course. Whether or not that surgeon would have considered you a candidate at your mild stage is anyone's guess. I think it is possible. Surgeons sure do love to cut, especially when the patient asks them to.

I suppose I am being somewhat pragmatic here, perhaps overly so. The fact is, the bulge of prolapse is easy to live with, once you understand and learn to manage it, and no longer live in fear. I don't want you to be terribly devastated if it returns. I don't want your happiness to depend on being symptom-free. If I could go back to the way my body was before my symptoms appeared, I wouldn't even do it, because I'm better than I was back then. - Surviving

Thank you A.G. and surviving for that. I was examined lying down and I know that it can be missed like that. I guess I did think it was gone forever. I am keeping in posture and doing the exersizes. I know it was a mild pop but I know I can manage it again as It wasnt long after I arrived here that I felt better about it and managed it quie well. At first I couldn't walk around the shops for long and now I have no bother walking for hours at the shops. I haven't lifted aything even slightly heavy. I understand how you feel better now than before pop. I am much healthier than before and make sure I eat well and get all my nutrients. I never did hold my stomach in as I was always very slim with no stomach. even after my two children were born I didnt put weight on, I tried for years to gain weight. I would stick my backside out to give me a bit of curve. I am just under 9 stone now but it suits my 5.4 height. and with the exersizes my muscles are well toned and I feel great. I swim, walk and cycle, I am not on any medications for anything, so I guess I prefer me now than pre pop as well. thanks for all the info. I am so glad I didn't opt for surgery. this is the best site ever.
thanks again,
WHMS

thank you everyone for your thoughts. I love, love, love Surviving's comment about not even wanting to go back to her body pre-symptoms. What an idea. I'm not there yet...

WHMS, good to hear from someone else who tried to "stick their backside out to give me a bit of curve" and to gain weight for years - that's me! :) sounds like you are doing great! The mailman delivered my yoga dvd's yesterday and I was enjoying wheel one this morning. looking ahead to toning my muscles.

I think Lanny really connected with what I am feeling this week - a lot of tears, anger, powerlessness...

When I come here and read, I begin to feel more grounded. Thank you all.

I posted some time ago about the tension we continually hold and its effect on us physiologically, psychologically, and spiritually. I noticed in your comment that you referenced self-punishment, then that God says you're bad and must be punished. How do you put that together? Also, if becoming a goddess is a good thing and God says you're bad, what does that say about the internal conflict of the species of God? Does his femininity (goddess) and his supposed need to punish conflict with each other? I mean, if we think we can be goddesses, aren't we talking about a Godly species? Or are you going to be Amazon or Lesbian goddesses....no need for a whole God which includes men and women? Irrelevant to POP, but the question is raised and lends itself to an opening. Otherwise, omit references to god AND goddesses.

Yup, I'm still here....always looking for an opening. If it's all about POP, let it be. Don't pretend to be goddesses.

I believe this forum to be a safe & inclusive voice for all women who have prolapse regardless of race, creed , color, nationality or cultural belief system. Our conversations do not only include the stage of prolapse, bending , squatting , whole woman posture, etc., but also our emotional and spiritual expression. Sometimes we find affinity sometimes we do not.We are here to support each other in our journey. As I am currently engaged in the work of upholding my uterus I want to welcome all my Amazon Lesbian Goddess sisters to the site. I want to hear from you. I am happy to say that this work has freed me to reawaken my sensual Goddess body and I do the dance and yoga naked with flowers in my hair! And sex is better than it has ever been!

For your unfailing support and encouragement. Wise women are you.

Rosa, I'm not exactly sure what Bebe is getting at here, but I love your response. - Surviving

As a lesbian goddess loving ex catholic with pop I appreciate your comments. It's not about our beliefs, it's about supporting ourselves and each other to love and take care of our bodies and each other.
In sisterhood with all women,
Holley

I am glad you are here and able to tell your story. There is more than one story after all. What is considered "normal " becomes frightfully tedious, oppressive and frightening. We are all women living out our humanity. We are sensual beautiful loving creatures. So many secrets…..Can this be a place where we expose those secrets and find our Goddess selves?

Thanks Holley and Rosa, I love the thoughts that are being expressed. This work brings all women/goddesses together! - Surviving

...and I expect we will rattle your chains again and again, Bebe. Deep love and appreciation for all my Goddess-sisters!