Very disheartening........................

Hi Michelle

I can understand you feeling very disheartened. Looking back on posts it sounds like you are about four or five months postpartum. I was wondering in another post whether the commonness of two years between babies is an indication that our species recovers from childbirth after about fifteen months? I know it is not as simple as that, but it does take some time.

I know that the floppy insides feeling stuck around for me for some time, but my prolapses didn't make an appearance for many years after that. Maybe that was the beginning.

I know that when I am feeling down, it feels like I am going to be like this forever. It rarely happens.

Things do pass.

Don't be too down on your body. It has done a wonderful thing in producing and nurturing your baby from tiny seeds. Be patient. If the feelings of doom go on, please see somebody who can help you over those irrational thoughts. They can play nasty tricks on our wellbeing.

Take care.

Louise

So sorry you've had to go through this disheartening feeling again. Just to encourage you.... I'm sure that prolapses as mild as yours have the best chance of improvement. Even the fact you felt like you were able to go out for a run is a great sign that things aren't too bad.. I can barely walk up the stairs some days without the dreaded bulge! Remember running is really high impact. I remember doing aerobics at about this point after my first child and realising I leaked doing star jumps... this was with no prolapse at all. Things just take a while and the fact that you're ok in your everyday life must mean that things are improving for you really well. You're only a few weeks further on than me and you're so much better. Even before I had a prolapse I used to really feel running 'jar' my pelvic floor.

I am interested in the sea sponge thing too, so let me know if you find out anything helpful. But in the meantime, please be encouraged. I feel really confident things will improve for you. As my three year old says to me sometimes 'you are healing up mummy, it just takes for a long time'. Please e-mail me if you want to chat more or just have a rant!

Esther x

Running's never really been my thing, though I do keep fit through walking and pilates. My sister likes running and after suffering a degree of prolapse after her last child (which sounds like it's a cystocele, from her description), found it took a while to heal, but she did resume running without any problem. Just has to make sure she's gone to the toilet before she starts. Can't remember how long it was afterwards.
I'm interested to hear about how a pessary might improve things for exercise - I guess that makes a lot of sense. Have you ever heard of the Mooncup? It's a small silicon cup that you can insert during menstruation - saves a fortune on buying pads or tampons (you can buy them in Boots in the UK; not sure if they are sold in the US too). Anyway, I use one of those when menstruating, and I have noticed that it holds everything up a bit higher while it's in, being the same circular shape at the top as one of those ring pessaries. I'm going to try an experiment tomorrow, and try a short run with it, and one without it and see if I notice any difference, bounce-wise!
I do hope you're feeling more positive,
Wendy

I'll ask her next time I speak to her how long it was before she started running regularly. I think the only lingering problem is that feeling of needing a wee at awkward times, particularly when she has a period, and from what I've read here that's very common if your bladder's not emptying properly, which is why the advice to use a semi-squat on the toilet is useful. I'm finding that really helpful myself.

Wendy

I have one, it's called a "Diva Cup" here in the states, there's also "The Keeper" but I've never tried that one. It's a flexible cup made of silicone. I love mine, can't stand tampons or even worse, pads.

I'm dreading the return of AF, but with my last baby, it didn't return until she was 18 months old. We nurse like crazy, so I'm hoping it will stay along for as long, if not longer this time. I hope my Diva will still stay up there!

I think sometimes we are itching to do things from the past, but now we are different and that causes us grief. Despite having universal prolapse (all three), I could run if that was my thing-- I am 18 months pp. But I have asthma, so running and I don't get along and I've never really liked it. So prolaspe isn't inhibiting me, weak lungs are--oh and my lack of desire. :) But I do love to lift light free weights (3-8 pounds). Prolapse is not inhibiting me from doing that either, motherhood is. I try to find the time, but it is dangerous to try to lift them with my three children running around me. I've tried gateing them off from me, they cry--a relaxing way to exercise... not. I hate not taking care of myself the way I used to, but I am not who I used to be any longer. I am not even the person I was when I had two children. EAch child changed who I am. Each pregnancy changed the shape of my body. EAch year takes it toll, too. We are not immortal and we expect ourselves to be. And we grieve when our weaknesses become apparent. If it wasn't prolapse, it would be soemthing else. You will heal from this. In time your body will close enough for you to run if that is your desire. But things will never be as they were--and that is not a bad thing because now you are a mother and each time you give birth you become a mother all over again. I love my life. I am embracing my limitations-- I am human-- I am mother-- and I wouldn't have it any other way.
Jane

Patience is the key. Time moves so much faster than I like. I remember after my second daughter was born when I noticed prolapse, I so wanted a natural birth (my first was a c/s) because I wanted to be able to return to my working out as soon as possible so I could get my body back. I was in a silent "competition" with another girl who was due a few months after me and I wanted to be in shape by the time she had her baby==I laugh at the vanity of that now. When I discovered prolapse, my "goal" that would not be realized added to my devestation. My goal after my third baby was not to get into shape--but to rest and recover and above all enjoy my baby because I had learned how fast that time goes by and how important it is to treat my body with tender loving care after such strenuous and body altering events as pregnancy and childbirth. And what a joy! Thanks to Christine's encouragment I had another natural birth, I so enjoyed my pregnancy, I had NO worries (big difference from my second pregnancy wondering if I could have a natural birth), and his birth was heavenly. My recovery was fantastic and I had no depression. I think it was being realistic that helped.

We need to be realistic about our bodies and the time frames we try to impose on them. I also think understanding that we are changed and we have a new normal to our bodies will help us deal with this emotionally.
Jane

I said below that I'd noticed my moon cup for use during menstruation seems to have a similar effect to a ring pessary in that it holds things up higher and that today I'd try a brief run with it and without it to see if I noticed a difference. Well, I have to say there was a clear result: definitely less "bounce" inside the pelvis with it in! I had to walk after a bit, but that was just because I was out of breath!
So maybe you would find a ring pessary helpful, Michelle, in the future if not now. (Or a menstrual cup if you want to cheat!)
Wendy