Another newbie

Submitted by nikki4444 on May 8, 2006 - 11:26am
Body: 

Hello all. It is with great sadness that I join this group. Although, I am SO glad there is a group here to support all of us in this situation. I am now 8 weeks postpartum and noticed the significant bulge at about 3 weeks postpartum. I thought my uterus was prolapsing. At my 4 week check my dr. said he saw a small rectocele, but my uterus was "up where it is supposed to be, although loose". This did NOT explain the bulge, but it was clear that was all the info. he had for me. In my research and some self-examination as to it the bulge was anterior or posterior I have come to the conclusion I have at least a grade 2 cystocele. I saw my dr. at church the other day and told him about it - he said with absolutely no concern "oh - sure - it probably is a cystocele". He told me to wait until I am 3 months postpartum before worrying about it or seeing a urogynecologist (as I suggested to him).

Too late on the worrying part. I am an obsessive person by nature and I am super worried and scared and angry and all in one about this problem. Mad that our medical community doesn't do more before, during, and after pregnancy to avoid this maternal problem. Mad about all the things that went wrong during my 3 pregnancies that I now know (thanks to this wonderful site) contributed to my proplase. Sad that this is something I will deal with every day of my life now. Sad that I'll never again pick up my children without thinking "ok - what is this doing to my internal pressure and my prolapse?" Scared of surgery, wishing I had had c-sections, etc.

Anyone have any opinion of waiting until 3months postpartum to address this issue with either a urogynecologist or physiotherapist? Who do you find such a professional?

I'm working on the posture. I have ALWAYS had TERRIBLE posture. Wish I would have known this problem could come about from bad posture. Is it possible to correct bad posture at this age (35)? It really does hurt my back when I am standing straight as those muscles aren't used to supporting my body. Does this get better?

All kinds of questions. Thanks for any insight and all the support.

mermaidsd

May 8, 2006 - 12:02pm

First of all, Nikki, HUGS to you. I can really relate to your post and just want to give you some support, encouragement and to let you know that although prolapse is on your mind so much right now, as time passes and you are feeling stronger, things will stabilize for you, emotionally as well as physically.

I am a bit perturbed by your doctor's remark to wait until 3 months postpartum. Perhaps wait to see a urogyn, but I highly recommend getting a referral for a PT that specializes in women's health ASAP.

As far as having c-sections, there is actually no evidence that having a surgical birth prevents pelvic floor damage, so please don't second guess your decision to have vaginal births. Besides, vaginal birth is SO much better for the babies. I have had several friends who have had c-sections and their babies ended up in NICU because they were either taken too early or since they didn't benefit from the hormonal stimulation and squeezing of vaginal births, had a lot of difficulty with breathing and ended up on vents for a while. These babies appear to be ok although time will tell if there are any long-term ramifications, it's not the optimal way to come into this world. Good job, mama!

As for surgery, if you read through the posts here you will find so many of us postpartum moms that were told of surgical 'fixes'...but the reason why you are here suggests that you are feeling intuitively that surgery would not be right for you. Above all that I've learned on my prolapse journey, the concept of listening to the small, still, wise voice within you will take you on the path to healing.

Posture helps tremendously...give it a try, there are many of us new mommies that have had various levels of success and stabilization with mindful posture, diet and exercise. These are all things that are good for you ANYWAY, prolapse or not. It has helped me so much to reframe my prolapse as a tremendous opportunity for growth, introspection and committment to always do my best to do right by my body.

It will get better for you, Nikki. Hang in there and come here often for support. HUGS!

Peace,
Michele

mermaidsd

May 8, 2006 - 12:06pm

question...i just re-read your post and you mentioned things during your 3 pregnancies that may have contributed to prolapse...do you mind sharing your thoughts about this?

peace,
michele

mommi2three

May 8, 2006 - 12:11pm

Welcome here! I am 35 and have 3 toddlers too so I really feel akin to your prolapse story. Let me just tell you that it is not too late to start your posture work. My prolapses are much worse than yours and I do feel much better when i am in the posture so it is supporting my pelvic organs. Thank you Christine for this site!

Btw, if you are using a rocker/glider to feed the baby, you may want to readjust your position. I nurse my older ones for 8 months on the glider and now i know that curved V-position was squishing my organs. You probably want to wait to at least 3 months to start physio so your body gets a chance to heal. You will probably see improvement too in your condition b/c it is still so soon after your delivery. But you still want to take care of your pelvic health for the rest of your life!

So don't panick and enjoy your new baby and just start working on the basics. I went thru many stages of grieving for my old body and questions about my delivery. It is very natural and ok to let it all out. You can read all our personal stories here. :) Christine and the women here are so wonderful and will lend you tremendous support.

Many hugs to you and the new bambino!

nikki4444

May 8, 2006 - 1:47pm

Thanks for both of your great replies. Makes me cry, but also feel better at the same time. As to what I think contributed to my prolapse - there are several things. My second child was very big - 9lbs. 6oz. and she was a tough one to deliver - her head was and continues to be HUGE (thanks to her large headed Dad for that one - lol). I'm a small person, 5'3" and prepregnancy 100lbs. I was in labor a long time, it was VERY painful and I pushed for about an hour. I realize for about 1/2 hour of that pushing I wasn't pushing right - I was pushing more "up front" rather than back. Once I pushed right it didn't take so long, but I wonder if I was pushing my support for my bladder right on out. With this most recent delivery my l&d nurse was on her last day and was pretty much non-present. I did have an epidural and they didn't cath me. After my epidural I went complete within an hour. She wanted to empty my bladder before delivery and the doctor just shook his head. My wonderful Mother-in-law was there with me (she is a l&d nurse as well) and she looked down there and said to my nurse "you sure aren't going to get that in there with the head there like that". So, I pushed my son out with an entirely full bladder. That couldn't have been good for those muscles. And, for all 3 of my deliveries I tore (but didn't have an epi). Luckily the tears weren't too bad. The stitches were terrible on my 2nd child though and fell out immediately causing much pain during urination. And, for all 3 deliveries I was pretty much flat on my back.

I hope I'm wrong in supposing these things contributed to my prolapse. I'm trying to remember to look forward not back at the past, but it is hard.

I do look forward to getting to know you all and a huge THANK YOU to Christine for doing the work in getting such important information out there to us Moms!

I joke with my sisters that I traded my bladder for my son. Good trade if you ask me. LOL

Nikki

nikki4444

May 8, 2006 - 1:50pm

I really need to read on the posture much more.

Mommi2three - Thanks for the tip on position during nursing. I nurse him on the couch and find that I'm really slumped during nursing. I am trying to now hold my spine straight and yet hold him to breast. Not too difficult now as he is a fast eater and is still little. This will not be possible when he is a healthy 8 month old. (WAY too heavy).

Thanks to all!
-Nikki

UKmummy

May 8, 2006 - 4:31pm

Hi Nikki,
I second all Mommi2three and Michele have said!!! It truly does get better emotionally but there will be a period of grieving for you as there was for all of us. You can recognise that in many of our posts here on the forum as we gradually come to terms with things.
Nursing lying down is good to not put any pressure on prolapse too. I still would never trade my babies or the way I had them for the prolapse I sustained. Birth is such a beautiful thing! Please know that I am here too and thinking of you tons!
Hugs to you.
Michelle.
P.S I think others here have seen urogyno's but I have not, does anyone have any tips on finding a good one?

granolamom

May 8, 2006 - 6:22pm

congratulations on the birth of your baby and welcome to the site
YES it is possible to change your posture at age 35. I am 33 and have done it - so can you! It was very painful at the beginning, especially my upper back between my shoulders. It is completely natural now, I don't even remember how I used to stand.

If you change your posture and stick around here you will NOT worry every time you lift your child. REALLY. Most if not all of us came here with feelings of anger and hopelessness. Most, if not all, of us who have been here for some time are now moving towards acceptance and living well with prolapse. somewhere there's a thread re: the emotional stages of prolapse and another re: living well with prolapse.
take your time to read through the posts here. Grieve the loss of your perfect perineum. post here when you are feeling low and you will receive support and encouragement.

It does get better.
{{{{{hugs}}}}}} to you