One year from now...

Body: 

Hello all. I am new here and have been working up the courage to post here for a few days...

I am in my early 30's and have had five beautiful children. My husband and I have gone through many painful years...facing more heartache, in our first few yrs of marriage, than most people face in a lifetime. So stress has been a huge issue for us for many years...

I believe my issues really became apparent around January when I noticed my cycle changing and becoming irregular. I was spotting at odd times during the month and then my period was very late. These irregular periods have been coming and going since. Well about two or three months ago I realized I was having trouble inserting a tampon...it felt like I couldn't get it to go in correctly. After peeking with a mirror I noticed something "strange" down there...and began doing some research. I am guessing that I might have a rectocele, but not 100% certain.

I am in the early stages where my emotions are a mess and it feels like my life is falling apart. I feel so out of control, lost, scared and alone at this point! This on top, of all of our other issues, feels incredibly overwhelming!! I don't know what to do. I am at a place where I feel as though I am stuck in a constant state of fear and embarrassment! Do I need to make an appointment to see a gyno? Or can I just hide under my covers instead?

We were hoping to try and have another baby this fall and have been trying to lose weight and get healthy beforehand....now I am wondering if all the workouts I was doing did more harm than good because that's when all these symptoms starting showing up!!! The fear has taken over...I've stopped working out (for the fear of making things worse), have become terrified of getting pregnant with this new "issue" and have really shut down inside because I feel so overwhelmed! :( I went from being very active to terribly inactive! I used to clean, clean, clean (almost to a fault), carry around our almost two year old, etc...and now it hurts to lift our little one up or even vacuum the floors!! It's like everything has changed all of a sudden....I am now in a foreign land (aka: body) and I feel totally lost!!!

For those of you who have been on this journey for awhile, what would you tell yourself if you could go back to those early days/weeks?

I can't see how to move forward from here...I feel stuck. I need to take action and kick this fear to the curb, but how? Please tell me there is hope!! Someone please tell me my life isn't over...that I still can lose this weight (40+ pounds), that we can still try for the next baby (even if we delay it a bit), that I will make it through these next few days, weeks, months, etc and that things will eventually get brighter...because everything feels pretty dark right about now.

Dear beauty4ashes,
Welcome! you have come to the right place!

There is hope, your life is not over, you can still lose the weight and have more children, I did with the same symptoms as you at about the same age...- 2 more...the prolapses just get out of the way, I know now....

The best thing to do now is learn the posture and get used to living in it.
As you sit, walk and do things in the posture you are strengthening your body and it is exercise in itself as for one example, we are not used to holding up our torsos with our own strength.

Listen to your body and it will tell you what it is ready for, and please don't do the very low calorie diets, just a small change in calories, (& for me I found food with less sugar helped though no artificial sweeteners and I still eat fruit fresh and dried and other carbs) - I allow myself some dark chocolate daily to keep on track....Moving more and feeling happier with small goals in your fitness, will be more sustainable and effective in the long - term... rest when you need to also...

Whole Woman Yoga is very effective and designed specifically for women and their whole being. I never liked exercise before and can say how much I love it now....

Others will come on who are newer mums than me to help you further.

There is a search box if you want to read other threads, Christine's blog and she has some videos on You tube. There is a wealth of information here.

Here's to the beautiful phoenix rising from the ashes!

All the best,
Aussie Soul Sister

Hi Beauty4ashes,
If I could go back in time I would tell myself to find this site earlier (we all would).

I would tell myself to throw myself into learning WW posture and living (I thought I was but didn't have it right). I would have a consult earlier. I always believed WW would work so that helped me keep my fear levels down and gave me lots of hope. This work can definitely help you move out of your dark place and into a place you don't even know yet.

Don't worry about the gyno - spend the money on some WW resources instead so you can learn, learn, learn and find your way forward.

Thank you for taking the time to respond to my tired heart. Thank you for the encouragement and gentle support. My husband and I ordered one of the packages from the site and I am eagerly awaiting the arrival so I can begin my journey towards health and wellness.

Is there anything I can or should be doing while I wait for my products to arrive? I keep seeing everyone mention posture...where do I learn the correct posture? Or is that something I learn with the book and DVD's? I am one who has sucked in the tummy and tucked in the booty for years and years...now to retrain my mind!?!?!

Hi
You can jump on You Tube and watch all the videos on there. Link is:
https://www.youtube.com/user/WholeWomanInc?app=desktop

Also on this forum you can type "LoPo position and Louiseds" into the search box and there is a post about the position for the toilet.

If you want a break in the evenings you can use Christine's position below (or anything similar). Note her belly is relaxed and she has a long back by puling up through the crown of his head. Our pelvic organs can come forward in the lower belly (where they below) in this position.

https://wholewoman.com/blogpix/CAKonfloor.jpg

Also just look around this site and read the forum as much as you can.

Sounds like you are on the right track and yes you do need to stop sucking in your belly (we lift it up instead by lifting the chest). You don't tuck your bum under or stick it out as it will naturally go where it should when you put the other aspects of the posture into place. It takes time as it is relearning but you'll get there.

I'm watching Dancing with the Stars tonight and I can WW posture in many of the dancers. Some may tuck there tummies (not WW posture) and I cannot tell but there is a young girl on and she has beautiful WW posture and her breathing after her dance is definitely in here upper abdomen (not chest) so she has a round belly like we all did as little girls. She really owns her curves and is stunning to watch. WW posture is very feminine and confident and powerful no matter what someones size or shape is.

I agree - you can still have more babies! :) Learning the WW posture and doing the exercises will help you so much! I had been using the Tupler Technique to heal diastis recti issues after my 4th baby, and ended up with prolapse. I thought it was the end of the world. But WW has definitely helped my prolapse get better. Higher up and very comfortable.
As for diet - you might want to look into the book "Trim Healthy Mama." It's all about low glycemic diets and has tons of help and recipes. I followed it after my last baby and was losing about 5 lbs. a week! The eating is very healthy.

Hello
I found this website a couple of days ago when frantically trying to find answers to a scary situation. It has helped me to see I am definitely not alone and that there is hope out there!
My situation is that I found a 'swelling' and the shock was terrible! It sounds ridiculous but I honestly had no idea what it could possibly be - the word 'prolapse' did not enter my mind. I could not wait to get to a doctor, particularly as I have had a history of breast cancer (ok now) so any swelling is a shock. To be honest I think the word 'prolapse' is pretty shocking too. I truly couldn't believe it - I had had no build-up to this happening. The only thing, looking bad, was always having to find a toilet when drinking lots of tea or coffee - but I just thought it was the caffeine.
So I have been truly devasted by this situation, but was fortunate to see a consultant quickly to find out more. It seems it is a stage 2 prolapse - anterior and uterine. He said that an operation would be up to me - it depends how the prolapse affects my life. I have fortunately located a physio - she specialises in this so hopefully she will help me avoid any surgery. So I have started to feel a bit better about things, although my main emotion is anger I'm afraid. I had a lot planned and feeling like this was not really part of it. I also feel really angry that there is just no information out there for women to avoid this situation - ok they do tell you about the exercises straight after childbirth - 21 years ago for me - but I truly think there should be more. There must be so many women struggling!
Anyway, that is me, that's my situation. I have been so happy to read the posts and to hear of like minded people. I will always try to look at things holistically and find other ways to deal with things.
I just wonder why it seemed to happen so suddenly. Did anyone else have my experience?
with good wishes to all

Hi and Welcome

Re the prolapse coming on suddenly. My bulge came on suddenly but as I got into this work I started to see that my prolapse was years in the making. There are lots of little symptoms I had but I didn't realise they were the early stages of prolapse until they were explained on her. I too was very shocked when I found mine and went straight to the after hours emergency doctor fearing the big C or a pool of blood bulging inside my vagina. When I was in the waiting room I started to hear myself saying prolapse which I had heard mentioned once by a PT saying "they can fall down and you don't want that girls so do your kegals and wear your belly band". This was the day after my second birth. They probably didn't educate us as they didn't understand prolapse. I'm sorry but that is what you will probably find with your PT but you can find the answers you need from WW work. It's fantastic and holistic and definitely anti surgery. You need your uterus to help you keep all your organs forward in the lower belly.

Wishing you the best

P.S. Re the coffee and tea - caffeine irritates the bladder (Christine's words to me in my consult) so that may be why you had this issue. She advises to stay away from caffeine but of course it's up to you to see what works for you. That includes chocolate and green tea too. I still have chocolate a bit - it's a hard habit for me to kick.

Thanks for your comments - all true. Yes I had done some exercises years ago and then forgot them!
I do think though that there should be some sort of education for women in this - perhaps posters in womens' toilets etc - to get us thinking more about it!
Anyway it is great to think this forum is here to share experiences and get some real advice
thanks!

Yes I too was scared and frantic when I discovered mine. I didn't know what it was and thought I had cancer or something. I had never heard of prolapse! If more than half of the women in the world have it, then why isn't it something talked about and info. given?
I was so thankful to find this website. But it was awhile before the feelings of being broken and complete disgust for my body went away.

Burying myself in the Whole Woman work is what helped me get over those feelings. Christine Kent has come up with all the information and resources to do that. Have you had a chance to read around on this site? Loads of information from Christine herself here explaining what your body is actually going through. Her books and DVDs give even more indepth information and great exercises to get you on your way with this journey.

Hi Lilium
so glad it wasn't just me in ignorance! It certainly made me feel that way too, but a week in, I am determined and hopeful that it won't change my life. I think all the information on the website, and other peoples experiences really help, and have given me optimism that there is a way forward, for me to control things rather than feeling so much like the victim, which I hate. I am glad your feelings went away in time and hope you are great now
best wishes

Neverthought,
You mention a physio that specializes in prolpase? I just want to caution you that many of our ladies have gone to physical therapist and are left dissapointed by their solution of kegel based exercises.
That's why checking into the whole woman work would be your best bet right now.

hi - yes I agree - will do.
thanks