I am so thankful a friend referred me to Whole Woman! There is so much awesome information here, I became a new member *waves hello* and I'm already sending my friends here, who have similar pelvic problems.
(TRIGGER WARNING! if you are sensitive to abuse issues)
I'm 49 and in perimenopause, doing it naturally. Since I birthed my daughter 11 years ago, I've been having bladder, bowel and abdominal and hip problems - but every clinician I've seen has blamed it on my being overweight (250, steady for over 15 years). I'm a rape and sexual abuse survivor with PTSD so it's easy for me to blow off pelvic problems and just live with constant pain. Also, I have severe lumbar and sacral spine injuries from a car accident 12 years ago.
I had a 32-hour all-natural labor, short pushing (properly, assisted by doulas), then an emergency cesarean (for a very short cord, yoyo baby). Even though I live otherwise healthy - yoga, deep abdominal breathing, trigger point therapy, chiropractic, Feldenkreis, etc. I have shirked ob-gyn appointments and rectal exams, from fear. My whole pelvis feels like it's going to fall out from my vagina, and recently I can't even tighten my abs correctly. The last gyno I saw, 4 years ago, had to use a pediatric speculum and when I told her about sex being painful, straining to pee, difficult bowel movements, she was very rough with me and also said "that's God's way of telling you your sex life is over." O_o I was engaged at the time! Lost that relationship :( So I haven't had another PAP since.
I've told my doctor and my ARPN about how I can feel and see with a mirror that my vagina is full of something, and they will admit it's tight but insist it's just my abdominal weight. I lost 20lbs. at one point! with zero relief. I used to do kegels too much, but i did them slowly ("elevator") because I used to be heavily into weightlifting and body-sculpting so I combined elevator kegels with squats. I used to tuck my pelvis under and tighten my abs, and this site and Katysays have really helped me change my posture!! I look forward to learning much more. Also, I've used a stepstool in the bathroom for many years, it just feels better.
Here is the crux of my problem that drove me to search for info and find this site:
A few weeks ago, I was so constipated that no matter what I tried, it was impacting right at my anus. The pain was awful but I have a heart condition and that's what became rapidly much worse, I passed out. Woke up in the ER getting a rectal exam! I freaked out, and asked the nurse (quietly) for a female doctor. None were in at that time. I explained I'm a survivor and she understood, got a SANE nurse to hold my hand and help me concentrate on my breathing. They were all rushing around working on my heart (shot up over 200), BP and oxygen also, my glucose dropped to 23, I was a mess. The doctor had to do a manual disimpaction and without informing me he gave me ketamine and dilaudid for anesthesia (he overestimated my weight by 40 lbs.) and I was knocked out instantly! But then I was awake and alert, could feel EVERYTHING, but I was paralyzed and couldn't speak :( I can't retell it, too emotional, but I was in hell and it seemed like hours and hours.
The worst thing was, the ER doctor sexually assaulted me, vaginally, and I felt all of it. The moment could speak again I was screaming and told the nurse I heard and saw everything, what the doctor did, even their conversations! One nurse had said "He really loves to use ketamine." my SANE nurse told me after, I had a very bad reaction to it. The doctor was so shocked I felt what he did, he looked at the floor and said it was just a "slip" - at least he said it in front of my friend who had come in afterward. So, I've filed a formal report against him, my ARPN and the patient advocate are helping me. But I was terrified to even see my ARPN, and though I'm glad she's taking the pelvic issues seriously now - the doctor did note "rectocele and possible uterocele or prolapse" - but after that experience, I am too scared to be examined, too scared see the uro-gyno they've referred me to :(
PTSD is what it is, I'm scared to go anywhere, scared to eat in case I get constipated again, scared of my own body. All the pelvic pressure is aggravating my lower spine, and I can't get any relief from pelvic tilts, can't do any yoga - my vagina is SO full that I can't pee but a few drops, and I can't even sit on my bum. I can't even do normal abdominal tightening and there is so much weight resting on my pubic bone! (I had SPD during pregnancy, is that related?)
I did do the pelvic self exam from here (the PDF) and it is really obvious visually. What a relief! But I can't feel in towards my cervix, there's no room. I can't even straighten up to walk! Feels like I'm pregnant third trimester (definitely not pregnant). Is any of this normal for prolapse? I am so, so scared of another pelvic exam, they've been so painful all my life, and after what happened at the ER ... I can only sleep a little bit, full of nightmares. Can't drink if I can't pee. Panic attacks all day, all night. But I know I need to know what's going on so I can do the right things to heal, so I know I need to be examined. What if I get hurt again? What if they blow it off as my weight again?
Any advice or encouragement is much appreciated. Sorry this is so long, it's just pure relief from finding women with the same pelvic problems as me.
Surviving60
November 13, 2015 - 5:22am
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mandalamama
The first thing to do, is to get down on your hands and knees and let all your organs fall forward into the belly. Breathe in and out of the belly. Get those organs out of the vaginal space so that you feel like you can pee. Hold a similar position on the toilet - lift a little bit up and lean a bit forward, so the organs are moved towards the lower belly and out of the way. Don't use the stool, this flattens lumbar curvature and leaves the organs even more crammed into the vagina, in the way of what you are trying to do.
As described in Christine's book, you can even pee on hands and knees if necessary. In the shower, or over a basin. Do not let yourself get dehydrated!
There are a number of things in your post that suggest you are aggravating your prolapse, all this about abs-tightening.....you MUST not do that. Relax the belly completely. Pull up your chest. These are the first two elements of Whole Woman posture.
You have a lot going on there. I and others will be back to help you some more. I just wanted to post something to get you started. Please go to the Resources tab straight above, select Whole Woman Videos, and watch the first video on the page. It will give an overview of what the Whole Woman work is all about. I wish you would give it a look immediately, before you do another kegel or ab-busting yoga move. - Surviving
jeepers
November 13, 2015 - 2:27pm
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mandalamama
Just a short comment about constipation. Get beans into your diet. Black beans, beans and rice, lima beans, even baked beans out of a can will work, kidney beans. I have been working on this seriously since by bladder prolapse. Search the web about fruits - prunes or prune juice is big.
mandalamama
November 14, 2015 - 8:34am
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I eat beans and other high
I eat beans and other high-fiber foods, I've had IBS for about 20 years so I've always worked to avoid constipation. My diet for a few years has been mostly raw, high fiber with lots of whole grains, simple and delicious. That's why I can't figure out how I got so constipated, all I'd had was spinach, kale, great northern beans and tomatoes, spelt and wheat berry bread, and raspberries, with plenty of plain water and some orange juice. Does prolapsing cause constipation no matter what you eat?
I'm pretty good at full muscle relaxation, so glad I can do that. Makes it more painful, full feeling and I still can't sit upright, but baby steps.
When I squat, I tilt my pelvis forward, not under. Because I have so much injury going on in my lower spine, even my tailbone, I have to keep it as mobile as I can, and with the rheumatoid arthritis I've done a more gentle yoga with both flexion and extension. I watched all the videos here, read a lot of the info, and have been working on letting my spine bow naturally. Wow! I didn't realize how inflexible my lower spine truly is! I have herniated discs at L3-L5, spinal stenosis top to bottom, and several lumbar and sacral bone spurs facing towards my spinal column - I can't make my pelvis bow like the WW posture. So frustrating! I can lean forward to rotate my hips the right way, but I can't stand upright. I will schedule an appointment with my orthopedist, he takes standing X-rays (important with stenosis).
Is the WW posture supposed to be more painful at first? Feels like my whole abdomen is sitting on my pubic bone and that hurts as much as when I was 8-9 months pregnant. Maybe the SPD (symphysis pubis dysfunction) is still an issue? (I am hypermobile)
Aging gracefully
November 14, 2015 - 9:14am
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Hi mandalamama,
Hi mandalamama,
All your other issues could play a part in the constipation as well as getting the posture down. But, many newbies to this work will try to force the lumbar curvature, and that can cause pain for some. It takes much practice and patience to get all the aspects of whole woman posture down. When I first started I was always tilting my hips forward, and that didn't help things at all. Just start with fully relaxing your belly and pulling up your chest. The lumbar curvature comes on its own, many months to a year for most of us. Sometimes longer for others depending on the age you start this work.
But, it is a lifetime of work that will only benefit more the longer you do it.
I would try adding some fermented foods into your diet, they feed the natural lactobacilli in the gut. We need those little guys in there working to keep everything functioning and running smoothly. Today's modern diets and high use of antibiotics has really deminished our natural gut flora.
I suffered years of constipation, and the dietary changes, and especially the whole woman work helped align everything into its proper positioning helping it to run much more smoothly.