New member and clueless. Was it a 3rd degree perineal tear?

Submitted by Ter on May 12, 2016 - 12:55am
Body: 

Hi, all. I want to ask you amazing women about something. I don't know if it's a right place to ask this or not. I'm still searching, but still not yet see anyone else having the same problem. (maybe not search it enough, but I'm really panic). Sorry, i'm rambling. This a new territory to me.

"Was it possible that something like a 3rd degree perineal tear happen because of sexual abuse?"

I've just acknowledged that there is something very wrong about my perineum. The perineum is just kind of tear open? And it almost reach the anal sphincter. I'm afraid that it will keep tearing the anal sphincter every time I'm.. uh, pooping (sorry). After searching (while crying) from zero knowledge, I realize that it's similar to a 3rd degree parenial tear. But I never give a birth, I was sexually abused.
No one really knows I was sexually abused by a distant cousin when I was 5. Ever since then I keep denying that and pretending that I was normal. I was afraid, even when I have signs like itches and soreness in vagina, abnormal vaginal discharge, or frequent urinating.
It's hard to admit this but a few months ago, I was sexually abused again. It happened continuously for a few months. So did the stress incontinence and the perineum tear. I was shocked. I never heard anything about it. I know that I should report it and go to the doctor, but I'm afraid. Especially since I live in Southeast Asia country where parents still have a complete control over a 22 years old college girl. Not to mention the limited economic source.

I can't ask my family, everyone around me, or even a Doctor. I'm really glad that I find this forum. This the only place I could find that have good information and supportive people.
Maybe anybody  know was it possible that perineal tear will keep tearing?
What should I do when pooing (sorry, or defecating) if the perineum tore?
Was it classified as a 3rd degree perineal tear even when it's not from a childbirth?
Do I need a surgery? I don't know if it's possible to stitch those.
I'm afraid if the next time I have constipation, it will tear through anal sphincter?

I'm sorry for my rant. I just don't know what to do.

Forum:

everhopeful

May 12, 2016 - 4:50am

Welcome to this site and may I first of all send u a huge virtual hug (((()))) .
I am sorry that u r alone with your problems at the moment but this site is amazing and I am sure
that very soon some one more knowledgeable than me will 'speak' to u.
I can only make a few humble suggestions although if u keep searching through the 'search' window here on this site there is info for so much more.
I use raw organic honey twice every day as it is has special healing powers and is antiflammatory. If u insert a little honey high into the vagina it will help to create the good flora needed for health.Coconut oil can be helpful and healing too. I hope u have these available where u r?
I am sure u r trying to avoid constipation which is often discussed here. Drinking plenty of water and eating fruits and veg and prunes works for me. Also 'pooing' is a much discussed topic too! One tip is to raise yourself up from the loo seat and use your thighsto support u whilst leaning forwards.This should move the pelvic organs forward and help to get things moving!
It is the posture and exercises which continue to place the pelvic organsin a secure place supported by bone .
I am sure u need special advice and that it will arrive here soon. We r a very good support group but I am just a reader and certainly have no medical training but I have lived a long time,lol!
Keep reading on this site and be kind to yourself ,u have coped with so much already.
Thinking of you right now and sending positive thoughts.

Surviving60

May 13, 2016 - 5:18pm

Here's a thread you should read. I think it will help you feel a little better about things. Though the causes can vary, it is a common problem. - Surviving

https://wholewoman.com/forum/node/6436

Ter

May 18, 2016 - 4:33pm

Thank you so much, everhopeful. Your post really mean so much to me. Yes, I can find coconut oil in here and thank you for the tip! I'll try to keep reading when I can, after I finish my exam.
Everhopeful, I'm really touched by your words, thank you so much for the support and positive thoughts. send you virtual hug too ((())).

Ter

May 18, 2016 - 4:42pm

Thank you, surviving60. Yes, I had read that thread before I became a member in this forum. I'll keep reading and searching about it.

everhopeful

May 20, 2016 - 2:42pm

Good luck with your exams. You r very good with words and I am guessing that u will do very well.
:))