A series of questions

Hello Everyone,
I have not posted before and am quite new to the forum so am not entirely sure where to post. I did send Christine an email and she said that the forum was the place to ask questions so here goes...

When I saw my first DVD on Whole Woman techniques (The Whole Woman solution to Urinary Incontinence) the information put forth that it takes until 2 years for a girl baby to be able to control her bladder. I employed elimination communication with my children and know that they have control and the ability to communicate the need to pass urine from a very early age. My experience seems to disagree with the whole woman teaching of body development of the female infant. I would very much like someone to help me understand as I want to have faith in this programme.

Another piece of information on the urinary incontinence DVD was that one can't or doesn't leak urine when sitting or lying down. Unfortunately, if I sneeze (even sitting in whole woman posture) I sometimes leak. Again, an experience that doesn't quite fit.

In the DVD called All One-The Bacteria-Gut Partnership emphasis is placed on our society eating too much meat and fat and that this is a strong reason for ill heath. My own learning has suggested that this is to do with the consumption of all kinds of sugar, not meat and fat. I find myself very confused as to which research to believe when they seem to be in contradiction with each other (in regards to meat and fat consumption being good for you). The DVD also talks about Immunotherapy as being a good solution to allergies. I have undergone immunotherapy and found it of no help and believe it has contributed to health issues with my eldest child as it was continued through pregnancy (I did ask my specialist if it was contraindicated by pregnancy and was told it was not). I felt very unsettled after this DVD as I my own learning and experience seemed in contradiction to what the DVD contained.

My desire in posting the above questions is only to understand, not to inflame. I would really appreciate discussion.

I have been practising Whole Woman postures and exercises(I have been doing the programme for prolapse) for 5 months now, perhaps my prolapse is less pronounced, I have yet to have this medically confirmed, however, my main issue of stress incontinence remains the same. In regards to myself, I am a forty year old mother of 4 with no obvious damage from pregnancy or vaginal births. I have a grade 1-2 cystocele and a retroverted (I think that is the word) cervix. I also have batholin cysts and cervical erosion.

I am quite physically active, doing martial arts, running and swimming (in summer). In Spring, I suffer chronic hay fever. I have stress incontinence that leaves me baffled! Spring time and some of Summer is a nightmare with sneezing and coughing which leaves me very weakened in my ability to control urine leakage.
I leak sometimes when I run (downhill is almost certain to cause it). I don't necessarily feel that I am leaking, I just notice that my pad is becoming wet. Jerky movements, bouncing, yelling and laughing can all cause me to leak. I love my sport. It is a highlight in my life however the stress of leaking and the lack of faith I have in my body's ability to hold itself causes much mental anguish. For some reason, when I wear a menstrual cup during training I don't leak urine, however I am very vulnerable to doing so without it. I wear it every time I train in karate as I cannot emotionally cope with the leaking.
My urethra and bladder often feel weak and irritated, this doesn't seem to have anything to do with training. Occasionally it borders on pain. I mostly just don't feel right in this part of my body however it is very difficult to articulate what I am feeling. The best description I can come up with is that the area feels razzed up and weak. I have some good days but mostly I feel 'wrong'.
I spent 9 months seeing a Chinese herbalist who said I have a chronic infection however her treatments did not improve things for me. I have had urine tests and high vaginal swabs but they come back clear.
I understand that my issues are so minor in comparison to many I have read about. The level of distress it causes me however is very pronounced and affecting my mental health.
Does anyone have any further suggestions?