Feeling better

Body: 

Hey ladies, it’s been about two days since I made my last post, I’ve been feeling much better about what’s going on. I read an article about a young women only 28 who was dieing from rare bone cancer and she said be Greatful everyday that your alive and don’t take it for granite, she said she would do anything to be able to have a full life with her husband and family. I have been practicing posture as much as possible, I’m still not 100% I’m doing it right I’m keeping my stomach pushed out chest out, chin up, butt out, I’m still waiting on my posture video. I’ve always been continuing my weightlifting (not crazy heavy weight) while staying in posture. Just want to know more about fire breathing and the new kegals and know if my posture is correct.

I was terrified when I found my POP. I couldn't leave my couch for a week. I was on the verge of tears feeling that my body is broken and will need questionable surgery and never be the same again.
And right around the time I was going through all this, an acquaintance of my sister's who's my age discovered that her cancer returned after mastectomy and it's spread to her lungs and elsewhere and I thought to myself - stop feeling sorry for yourself!! there's a whole site of women dealing with this, living with this, being active, raising kids, helping elderly parents - this is not the end of the world.

a few things that really helped me that I read on here - you will not die from POP - you can still do most everything with POP - surgery can (and definitely should) be avoided.

If you can, buy the stuff that's online - you'll have instant access and it's well worth it- and watch it multiple times. I watched the stuff I have over and over and I feel like now, a few months on, I need to re-watch again. you need Christine to explain the posture and you need to watch her do that multiple times.
firebreathing and the new kegels are all on there and in the book.
I'm still not sure i'm doing firebreathing correctly - and I haven't done the new kegels much either since i haven't had time to do the exercises in the past month. but from what I gather - the posture is the main thing and the most important thing and I've definitely been doing the posture - sitting and standing.

my fear now is that I want another baby (probably... maybe... most likely). I'm only 4 months pp but I'm also 38. I told myself to shelve the feelings for another baby for at least a year, work on this posture and new lifestyle and see how I feel then.
my bigger concern now - apart from the POP - was that i've had 2 bad tears. the tearing now scares me more than the POP.