where do I go from here

I have had five children. Never a problem that I knew of until last year when my bladder started acting up. Two of my children are considered traumatic births. One child was born with forceps and my last baby weighted ten pounds. He is now twelve and I am 50. I was instructed to stand up because I couldn't push his head out. I pushed for over an hour in that position. The ob/gyn told me the following day that the event was a marathon. At the time I had no idea that large babies together with gaining 50 pounds would ultimately cause so many problems. I am 5' 6" and weigh 123 presently. It is funny but I wore a bra night and day in order that my breasts would not become so saggy down the road. It worked pretty well considering I nursed for 8 years. If the doctor had been more preventive minded and explained the ramifications of too much weigh gain I would have avoided those nightly Dove bars! He also never mentioned kegels.

I have been to several doctors all which have diagnosed a stage III rectocele and entercele. My bladder has been labeled both stage II and III. The uterus and vaginal vault area stage II. A uro at U of Penn in Philadelphia did a POP Q and recommended all 5 be repaired. He also did a CMG and cystoscopy. While I presently show no stress incontinence, the test indicated that it exist. I also have urethral immoblity which if not taken care of during surgery could cause incontinence post-op. I also saw a urologist at John Hopkins. He told me that I shouldn't have anything but the rectocele repaired. He referred me to a urogyn in Baltimore and indicated that if that doctor thought the bladder needed repair then they would consult. He also said he had seen several patients from U of Penn. both before and after surgeries. I have not seen the urogyn as of yet.The urogyn in my hometown of Bloomsburg, PA differed from both saying if I didn't mangage the constipation problem I would need surgery. Surgery or not my life is not normal. I am quite active and fear and any surgery would require a great change in my physical capabilities. All the opinions I've read online indicate no lifting more that 20 pounds after healing although the U of Penn doc said 50 pounds! Housework, cooking, gardening, exercising and continuous sitting cause discomfort. Moving around is better than staying in one place. A gastroentrologist said that any surgery I have now will have to be repeated because these surgeries only last 8- 10 years. She said if I could wait it would be better. Too many conflicting opinions don't you think! I have a pessary but it isn't comfortable to wear everyday. It pushes on my tailbone. I have also been seeing a physiotherapist for training in proper exercise technique although I am not sure anyone knows. She recommended a book called Beyond Kegels which is interesting.

It seems I vascillate from one day to the next concerning surgery. Any imput of concerning others experiences would be appreciated. Thanks