Granolamom...anyone...

Hi Granolamom, thanks for replying.

I wish I'd thought to get the topic title, but in the conversation it was mentioned that Christine suggested a way of walking to tighten, lift, and strengthen the buttocks. I believe the actual topic was rectocele and I think the post was a couple of years old.

I thought it would be a tightening of the buttocks while walking but I wanted to check first. Thanks, Kit

It wasn't about walking uphill, Louise, just an off-hand comment about how Christine had said to hold the rear-end muscles while walking. I'll pay more attention to the topic I'm reading next time.

So, walking uphill is particulary good? I know I should be retaining all of this, but I've had some bad days of late and some of it slips by me.

Thanks, Louise. Also for that wonderful post you just laid out for ATS on her I'm in Pain topic. I learn and learn and learn from you. You show me clearly how much work I have to do, and how to do it. I can't thank you enough. Kit

Louise, you are a treasure of information! No getting around it. Wish I lived near you, I'd sit at your feet and just listen.

Christine, thanks for the exercise tips. Will doing the bending at the table one lengthen the hamstrings? Mine are overly tight and I can't seem to find a remedy. Kit

Thanks Alemama, I will try your suggestions. I really need to find a solution. I am really tight. It is very difficult for me to raise my legs without having some bend in the knee now. My flexability is going in the opposite direction than I want it too!! Kit

These are new to me, thank you so much! I will put them into practice really soon and I'll let you know how I do. Kit

Judy, I've been doing your standing exercise twice daily. Once in the shower and then again when I am drying my hair. I am trying to do so many gentle exercises that I am incorporating some of them into my daily activities to save time. On this one, I can get my finger tips to the floor but that is where my flexibility ends. The third exercise you suggest is very similar to one on a yoga dvd I have. There, I can only reach my toes, also. Flexibility is an issue for me. I wanted you to know that you are helping me each day with your suggestions. I think of you as I work to help myself heal. I have incorporated so many suggestions and tips from this forum into my daily life. My body is responding and I am getting stronger bit by bit. I love how the body reacts to even the most simple of exercise. I think it craves movement--craves being cared for. At least mine seems to.

Alemama, I must go back and search for posts from you. Something you have said has caused me to think of you so often. I can't tell you why right now, but you feel so very close to my heart these days. It is a sweet presence that you offer.

To All…

It has deeply amazed me how much I have been affected by these particular health issues, both my own and that of so many others here.

The range of emotions is vast and deep. I am changed. I am so much more gentle and accepting and kind to myself. It is not so much an acceptance of the problems but more of an acceptance that my body can no longer just be thrown into whatever I decide to do that day. It needs more consideration now and I am finding more and more resolve to value that. My goal is to bring my body back to wholeness (even though it will be a new definition of wholeness) with love and care and lots of gentle work.

The days are different now. I so appreciate the better ones more than I ever did before. There is no more time to be wasted by taking health for granted. Even rest is such a gift. How did I not see that? I was exercising and I noticed my feet. They are almost graceful looking. Have they always been that way? Yes, I am changed. I get it now when someone shares with me their physical trials. I have always been somehow innately attuned to emotional needs, but the physical was harder for me to grasp. I stand beside the understanding ones now.

I would not have believed that my capacity to love, to see love, to feel love could get any greater. But even my little dog gets to me. The love in those beautiful brown eyes of hers—I know she feels my struggles. My family-- if they realized how encircled they are by my love right now?? No, there is no way they could know, this is a gift only a heart that has suffered a specific suffering can understand. I do not want them to earn this knowing.

I am so very deeply earnestly thankful that my husband is healthy. I looked at my son the other day and he literally glowed with health and I thought my heart would burst. My daughter is this super-energetic being that seems to be on top of the world. Yes, I am slower now. I can't always keep up with them. But I do not wish them to truly understand my circumstance. I know life may one day lay low these people that I cherish. This is-- thankfully --not their time. This is my time and it only me that can choose to sink further into it and let it claim more happiness, or stand and face it bit by bit, learning by learning, trying by trying and, hopefully, gaining by gaining. I choose to stand.

I have hesitated to post lately because I know that there are some that are suffering so deeply, and I don't know what else to say to help. The desire to help is very strong. I know their suffering because not too many weeks ago I walked the floors at night with the same suffering. The physical symptoms were wearing me out and I was emotionally drained because of it. It is so hard to be caught in that circle and I was so deeply trapped. I could not live that way and I was lost as to what to do. One turning point for me was in a simple post where Christine told me to trust my body. That simple statement was so powerful for me. So, for my ladder back to some normalcy, I decided to do just that and to work each day to help my body become stronger, to give it the strengthening mechanisms it needs to repair itself through exercise and through food and through the very few supplements I take--and from feeding off of this love energy that comsumes me. I also made myself get out of my house, to go and challenge myself and prove to myself that I am still capable of living my life. And I started, each and every day, doing something for somebody else. Those things calmed my spirit and dimmed my fears which allowed my body to become more peaceful. I am several steps up my ladder now...

This is no Pollyanna speaking. I am not making lemonade out of lemons. I am trying to face my truth and do the best that I can with what I know now. What better choice do I have?

I did not realize I had so much to say this morning. I wish I had the answers that could set some hearts and spirits toward healing. I truly believe that the body cannot heal while the heart and spirit suffers so. Then again, how can the spirit heal when the body is so traumatized? I think we have to look for those little portals of light, such as 'trust your body.' Only we can look for them and grasp them and cling to them when they come along. Only we can take that first important step that begins the ladder toward healing. And only we can know when we need medical assistance first. I sought medical care, tests, when I needed it, if just to allay my deeper fears.

To Christine…I have been reading a lot of the posts from the beginning of this forum. How you stood compassionately alongside all the pain and suffering with your hopeful message, how you stood strongly against the ones that doubted you...you are one super-woman. How easy it would have been for you to fold and to keep your precious gifts to yourself. As surely as I breathe I believe there was some all-powerful guiding hand holding you up when your own spirit had its dimmer days. How thankful I am for you. Where would I be if I had not found my way here, if I had not heard your simple message...trust your body...and the messages from all the others here? You are and always will be a part of my heart and a part of my life--and in saying that I also want to say that I understand that your work, your guidance here is just a part of my healing--No where, no way, no how do I put upon you the responsibility for my total healing. Each of us must find our own way no matter the circumstances we face in life. I accept the gift of guidance you have so unselfishly offered, while relinquishing you of responsibility for my outcome. How heavy your shoulders must feel sometimes. I place no weight upon you.

I feel you all with me so much. I am more because of each of you. Kit