new to this looking for advice

Submitted by mumof2 on March 6, 2008 - 2:54pm
Body: 

If I give my history maybe someone can offer some advice. I am 38. 3 months after the birth of my first baby something just didn't feel right, it was as though something had 'dropped' whatever it was was visible and felt in the wrong place. I went to the doctor who briefly examined me and told me it was a bladder prolapse, probably caused by a long labour. I had an episiotomy and ventousse delivery as the cord was around the baby and she just wasn't coming out. He advised pelvic floor exercises. 6 months later I was fine and fell pregnant again. Immediately after the second birth, this time the baby came quickly without medical intervention, I experienced the same 'dropping and bulging' symptoms so carried on with the pf exercises, a year on and there is no improvement. I saw a different doctor this week who examined me more thoroughly and she says it's not a bladder prolapse but that my vagina wall has prolapsed and that is what I can see and feel. She seemed to think surgery would be the only cure and has referred me to a gynaecologist.
I have never suffered any incontinenece or bowel problems so she has discounted a bladder prolapse which I can only assume is good news.
My symptoms are a dragging, full feeling and I can feel a bulge at the opening of my vagina, it is not there all the time but most of the time. It means I can't exercise, push a shopping trolley or do everyday things like picking the kids up, vacuuming, even walking puts pressure on the area and makes it feel worse. I haven't had sex since I was pregnant as it feels as though there is no room in there and I'm a bit scared of trying, luckily my husband is very understanding and supportive but we both miss that side of our relationship. Does this class as a prolapse? I don't really understand what's going on but would love to heal myself without surgery and get my life back, I feel I'm missing out on so much and it is starting to get me a down a bit, any thoughts or advice would be very welcome. I know I shall find out more after my gynae appointment but I've no idea how long that will be and I'd like to be armed with some questions if they suggest surgery as the only option.Thanks for reading this, hope someone can help.

Clonmacnoise

March 6, 2008 - 4:18pm

Dear Mumof2,

Welcome to this site. What you will find here is a lot of help. We all have that bulge you talk about. It's probably a bladder prolapse because that's what your description sounds like. I don't have stress incontinence either, and I'm 57 next month, but I still have a prolapsed bladder that feels just like you describe yours to feel.

Doctors examine us on our backs when all our parts slide back to their original positions, so lots of diagnosis fails. If you stood up and were examined, your doctor would be more aware of what you are trying to tell him or her.

You can do just about anything you ordinarily do, but you just have to be careful. Louise says sex helps, so don't be afraid to do that - remember, you go back to normal when you lie down!

What you will read here is advice from women who refuse to do the surgery thing because surgery only makes prolapse worse. There have been dozens of women who write to say they have had the surgery and can't ever have sex again, can't hold pee, can't move without pain, can't believe they let a doctor talk them into surgery.

The surgery most doctors seem to want to do is unnatural. It forces the body to do things it can't do. It's about like sticking your finger in a damn and expecting to hold back the sea - works for a few seconds and then the damn gives and you're back to square one or worse!

Stay with this site and learn about posture, diet, and ways to make this a livable situation. Louise will put you back on the sex docket, and the new yoga teacher, Ananda is going to give us some good yoga advice, I'm sure, so make sure you read her posts because yoga makes you stronger and more able to deal with the constant annoyance.

Anyway, welcome and keep reading,

Judy

Clonmacnoise

March 6, 2008 - 4:25pm

Dear Mumof2,

Welcome to this site. What you will find here is a lot of help. We all have that bulge you talk about. It's probably a bladder prolapse because that's what your description sounds like. I don't have stress incontinence either, and I'm 57 next month, but I still have a prolapsed bladder that feels just like you describe yours to feel.

Doctors examine us on our backs when all our parts slide back to their original positions, so lots of diagnosis fails. If you stood up and were examined, your doctor would be more aware of what you are trying to tell him or her.

You can do just about anything you ordinarily do, but you just have to be careful. Louise says sex helps, so don't be afraid to do that - remember, you go back to normal when you lie down!

What you will read here is advice from women who refuse to do the surgery thing because surgery only makes prolapse worse. There have been dozens of women who write to say they have had the surgery and can't ever have sex again, can't hold pee, can't move without pain, can't believe they let a doctor talk them into surgery.

The surgery most doctors seem to want to do is unnatural. It forces the body to do things it can't do. It's about like sticking your finger in a dam and expecting to hold back the sea - works for a few seconds and then the dam gives and you're back to square one or worse!

Stay with this site and learn about posture, diet, and ways to make this a livable situation. Louise will put you back on the sex docket, and the new yoga teacher, Ananda is going to give us some good yoga advice, I'm sure, so make sure you read her posts because yoga makes you stronger and more able to deal with the constant annoyance.

Anyway, welcome and keep reading,

Judy

shellymum

March 6, 2008 - 4:35pm

Hi Mumof2

I'm new to this site also. I'm now 3 weeks postpartum (third child) and have a rectocele. I can completely empathise with what you're going through, even though we have different prolapses. It can be depressing and it can affect your lifestyle, but I'm finding I just need to adjust ways of doing things. Like Judy said, the posture is great (even though I'm finding it hard to adopt a different posture after years of holding myself in a different way, it does feel good). I've had good days (in my head) for a week or so but today is a bad day (as I'm uncomfortable sitting). Feel free to express how you're feeling, as it seems everyone here understands the ups and downs. Sorry I can't be of more assistance but best wishes and hopefully things will improve the more your body heals and gets back to normal after the birth. My physio said allow months, even a year, not just weeks, and take it easy, especially when lifting.

Regards
Shellymum

granolamom

March 6, 2008 - 4:58pm

I agree with Judy, sounds like a bladder prolapse to me. the dr is half right, the vaginal wall is what you see and feel. the bladder doesn't come through the wall into the vaginal canal - that would classify as a hernia - but it bulges against the wall and both wall and bladder take up space in what used to be a flattened vaginal tube.
I've got a cystocele (prolapsed bladder) too and have never had any incontinence. Many of us have found that dr's are not necessarily the experts on our bodies. we are.

I can definitely relate to the difficulty you're having with doing everyday things. I was there too. good news is, that after a few months of staying in posture, the prolapse no longer presented a problem to my living my life. it was still there when I went looking for it, but didn't bother me most of the time. so there's hope : )

my advice is to learn all about the posture, get the book (it describes the anatomy, how prolapse develops and what can be done to stabilize/reverse it without surgery) and stick around. this is a great source of support and information. I don't know where I'd be without these ladies!

mumof2

March 8, 2008 - 7:14am

As I'm new to this and this is the first forum I've joined I don't know whether I'm putting this reply in the right place. I'd like to thank the ladies who have replied to my post and I'm sorry if this doesn't reach you all. As I continue to join you I hope to learn how to use this forum correctly.

Thankyou all for the welcome, I wish I'd found this site a long time ago. You all seem so supportive and It's really kind of you to offer help and support to a complete stranger. I shall definitely keep coming back, it has helped just knowing that there are other people going through the same thing. As much as friends try to understand they can't unless they've been through it, its a relief to find others who understand. I'm awaiting an appointement with a gynaecologist so I'll hopefully find out exactly what is going on and be able to take it from there. In the meantime I'm going to get the book and find out about this 'posture' that everyone is talking up. For me surgery has got to be last on the list of options. Fingers crossed. Best wishes to all of you out there.