total prolapse - new to finding support

how strong and brave of you to share your story. I am so sad and horrified by the way things turned out for you. It definitely sounds like you've been through hell, I hope you find your way back.
for PTSD and the overwhelming sense of loss and devastation, I would think that the psych support you are getting should be somewhat helpful. my gut, however, wonders if maybe a more holistic, alternative approach might be a path towards healing? you know, like accupuncture or homeopathy, or something along those lines.
I can feel your suffering through the monitor, and I am so so sorry.
sending some love to you and your boy {{{{{{}}}}}

Emma, I am sending you prayers of healing both physically and emotionally. Our doctors really need to be trained to heal the whole person and to set up support for their patients. I keep trying to get answers about what is normal for my recovery from the apendectomy, but none of the people in the hospital or the office could tell me anything other than a fever would be a problem. I would have loved to have been able to speak to other people who had been through this and especially women who were postpartum. I may have recognized I had an abscess earlier and been able to get on antibiotics sooner instead of spending another 4 days in the hospital and going through the trauma of having a drain inserted while I was conscious. If only you could have found this forum sooner you could have been spared some of the trauma. But the goodnews is you are here now and today is a new day and you can recover some what you've lost, even if it is only emotionally. But really as many of us have discovered her the psychological and emotional part of dealing prolapse is sometimes worse and more devastating than the inconvenience of the prolapse.
Jane

Hi Emma

I am glad you have found us, but so sorry to hear the process which has preceded it, and the devastation it has left you with. Granolamom's suggestion for holistic treatment is probably a sensible option. It doesn't sound like conventional medicine or surgery have much to offer you, which is about the same for all of us.

Just to get your story straight. I understand from what you have written that you still have your uterus, but have had repairs to your prolapses via keyhole surgery. Is that right?

Cheers

Louise

Hi Emma

Now I see where you are. Well, thankfully you still have your uterus, which is an important part of maintaining the internal fascial structures important to the support of our pelvic organs. Removing the uterus is a very invasive operation, no matter how it is done, with many risks and potential complications later on from scar tissue etc. I am probably not telling you anything here!

Also, subsequent prolapse of the vaginal vault is a problem in about 45% of women, with accompanying enterocele, where the small intestine can descend into the vagina. At least you don't have to contend with that, small mercy though it is. Enterocele happens almost exclusively in hysterectomised women. Not having a hyst. also means that your ovaries will be able to age naturally, instead of either being removed or the blood supply being seriously compromised by the damage done by the hysterectomy procedure. Even after menopause ovaries do still have some hormonal function.

I am so sorry to hear that you have little sensation in your genitals, you don't say exactly where, but loss of sensation is loss of sensation, and must be very difficult to accept. Coming to grips with an altered body can be a very difficult task, as our self-image is so tied up with our bodies being "OK" to live in.

No matter how skilled the surgeon, all these surgeries are fraught with low to medium risks of complication and further prolapse, which don't sound like much until they happen, which is sometimes not explained fully at the time of signing up for the surgery. As ordinary women, we are asked to assent to procedures which are not straightforward, though they are often portrayed that way. Unfortunately, you have drawn a short straw in this respect.

Your regrets about not having a C-section are understandable, but even if you did have C-sections there is no guarantee at all that you would not ultimately have experienced prolapse anyway. C-Section in itself is a pretty invasive operation, and several layers of tissue have to be cut through to get to the uterus anyway, then skilfully rejoined. It is very difficult to repair fascial tissue accurately, leaving scar tissue, perhaps permanent sutures, and unnatural stresses on connective tissues as a result of the scar tissue that forms.

Vaginal birth is only one of the risk factors, though a very common factor with labours and births where intervention occurs and the woman is not able to labour in her own time, and where and how she wants. In my opinion hospitals are in the business of conserving life, not vaginas. This is probably a good thing *if* life is threatened, but there is often a cost, and they can be quick to go into emergency mode, some would say too quick.

It sounds to me like you are right in the middle of a serious grief process, which you will need to move through bit by bit to overcome the devastation of this loss that you have experienced. The grief that comes with pelvic organ prolapse is a real loss, which is different for every woman. This Forum does have some women who have had surgical repairs, and we will all do our best to help you come to grips with what has happened. Thanks for your offer to help others through their own experiences of prolapse. I am sure you have a lot to offer others.

Having had surgical repairs, I don't know how much improvement you can expect, but implementing Wholewoman posture (see FAQ's on the homepage), keeping your diet light, engaging in appropriate exercise (eg, see the ballet workout in edition 2 of Christine Kent's book, Saving the Whole Woman), wearing clothing that doesn't compress the lower abdomen will help your body make the most of itself. You will probably find exercise to be quite helpful in rescuing yourself emotionally as well as physically, as has been shown by research into recovery from depression and anxiety. It will also help your musculo-skeletal system to support the fasciae and your pelvic organs in the best way it can. Christine herself has had repair surgery and developed these techniques after a similar experience with a 'Top Surgeon'. I don't know how these guys get labelled as such. Maybe they have done more repeat repairs than anybody else, kind of like a body count. :-(
Normally the first surgical procedure is the most effective, and even if there are further prolapses in store for you (as many of us find eventually), it is unlikely that further surgery will ultimately leave you better off, other than in the short term.

Everybody is different, and you will just need to feel your way to healing as well as you can. We are here to help you too.

Sorry if all this is not the response you were hoping for. Prolapse is not easy for any of us, but as you do what you can, and learn to cheerfully and eventually accept what cannot be cured, hopefully you will be able to a point where you can get on and enjoy your life and enjoy your little boy.

In the meantime, call back to the Forum whenever you like. BTW, there is no TMI here. We share all sorts of stuff. Expect the unexpected! Once you can talk about prolapses with a mob of strangers you begin to see that it is not the end of the world. And you know what? One of the good things about all this Wholewoman stuff is that you can take the power of your own healing into your own hands. You are your own healer.

Cheers

Louise

Such a pretty name. I am sorry things have been so hard. I've been through some tough times myself, things just came fast and furious without
much let-up. I wonder at the way some of us get so buried in our "tests". I agree with Louise that you are going through the grief process with the
losses and prices you recognize. It's a difficult circular process that will have you visiting the stages seemingly over and over, but each cycle brings
progress.
One of the things that helped me ever so much was the movie "What the Bleep do we Know ?". It very graphically explains the chemistry of the brain
and that emotional patterns create a certain addiction for the receptors, in essence perpetuating a status quo. We have to literally choose to feel differently
in order to break the pattern, if we have been immersed in grief, anger or self-pity for a lengthy time. We could continue to feel justified in our negative space,
but to what gain ? We have to force ourselves, encourage our own minds to change the tape. It's hard at first, but feels like dawn in Spring when it starts adding up.
Another thing that was cathartic was the realization that all things have a front side and a back side. It's an exercise I began in earnest, some months
ago. I knew I was out of balance and needed to find acceptance in all things, the good the bad and the ugly. Some of the most curious gains are to be
found in our challenges.
These things don't make the grief go away, but they do help us change our perspective enough to focus on our riches, and we can go from feeling victimized
and miserable, to victorious and blessed. I know what internal pressure feels like and I used this forum to vent. After that came a lot of healing, There
is so much wisdom and heart here, I hope you can use it to find some relief. We take turns falling down and picking each other up, and we all have various
struggles outside of POP. I think this place is about being whole women so don't think you have to compartmentalize and only address POP here, at least
that's my perspective.
Big hugs to you I'm glad you posted. We get the opportunity to share what we learn when we lend a hand and we are glad to do it. No one is a burden here.
And I will forever feel indebted to and Inspired by the caliber of Women who come here and share.
Zelda