Bad day...physically and in my head

If I remember correctly you are what, 3 weeks postpartum??? THERE IS NO LOGICAL THOUGHT AT THREE WEEKS POSTPARTUM
so yes, the anxiety will threaten to take over. this is scary stuff. what if things get worse? you will figure that out then. trust me, there will always be surgeon's around, ready, willing and able to cut & stitch your parts. but now is no time to make any long term decisions. right now, you have to:

rest when you can
eat at least 3 decent meal every single day
pee when you need to
poo when you need to (I'm a very AP-type mama and I WILL let my baby cry in his crib when I need to go)
hold your baby, feed your baby, love your big ones, love your man
trust in your body

and I'd recommend that you also stretch out into the posture every hour on the hour. just to get used to it. don't worry about getting it 100% by tomorrow. the prolapse isn't going anywhere, lol.
I'd also recommend that you get some sunlight on your face every day, if possible. the hormones can really do a number on you, dealing with something like this isn't going to help any.

and you know what else, this feeling sorry for yourself, its completely normal. I think all of us (at least most of us) have been there. discovering a prolapse is a real loss. one that deserves to be mourned. and the grieving process cannot be rushed along. so have a pity party, whine and cry and shout at the heavens, or whatever you need to do. but in the back of your mind know that those feelings will pass, and you WILL BE OK.

{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}

Shellymum,
I'm 10 weeks pp, and I have had improvement since about 6 weeks. Lay down. Relax. Work on your posture. DO NOT FEEL GUILTY OR LAZY for relaxing. Get as much help as you can. I think that at 3 weeks pp, you and baby should be in bed for MOST of the day. You will heal. Everyone I speak to about all of this says it takes months!

Please don't worry yourself. You will feel so much better...but it seems to take time.

Try to take comfort in the fact that once many of us have learned to alter our lives in a myriad of "little" ways
and it becomes second nature to take care of ourselves, ie. by NOT picking up that sewing machine... etc.
Well, all these little adjustments accumulate and I'm sure you'll find yourself feeling better and better.
When you are lucky enough to get this information about the posture this soon post-partum
you will heal better in posture and may end up having very few down days and go down a much different
road than the "road" your fears were taking you down... kwim ? The future is in your hands more than it seems.
Making these adjustments takes time , the best thing you can do is rest and heal and love up your family,
When I was at my worst, and I really had terrible tantrums about all of this... I was ONLY able to climb out of my funks
by focusing out on my family- I reasoned at that rate at least I was good for "something". At the time I was feeling decidedly
"Broken". But we're not, just a little "delicate". I hope it helps, take care.
Zelda

Remember it took 9 months for you to stretch and grow to accommodate your baby. You body still has those awesome hormones that allow you to stretch and open to deliver your baby into the world. You will be loose for a while. Your body will take at least 9 months to recover from pregnancy. We want total restoration and our former self now. I know this all too well. However, this time will fly by and we can focus on the blessed baby (even if some of my abilty to care for her has been hampered--see my story of appendectomy 2 weeks after birth) during this time instead of our physical sensations and what they mean, we'll be a lot happier and when restoration comes we won't remember our former anxieties.
Jane

so much fear and anxiety in your post! I can smell it because I recognize it all too well. and I CANNOT STAND IT WHEN PEOPLE WHO HAVE NO IDEA WHAT IM GOING THROUGH TELL ME TO 'THINK POSITIVE'

ok, I'm done yelling.

now, you will manage your son somehow, because you have to. so lets all brainstorm here and give you some practical tips. he's 2 so he's old enough to learn to climb on your lap while youre sitting. is the swing in your yard or at the park? if its at home, try lowering it as much as possible and help him climb in (while you are kneeling). dancing on the benchtop is a problem....will have to think about that more, but I think when he is in danger you will just have to lift him. try to stay in posture and then do a few firebreaths afterwards or a plie or two.
getting him into the carseat.....carseats & toddlers are the bain of my existance. I will somewhat shamefully admit that I have resorted to bribery. I have these little mints that my kids love love love and they ONLY get them once everyone is all buckled up. not everytime, but on the 'tough' days.

libido might also be affected by plain old postpartum hormones. postpartum intimacy is often a source of anxiety, just go slowly and use lots of lube and you'll be fine!

no need to apologize for the vent, we've been there. so we get it.

{{{{hugs}}}

Shellymum,

I have three little grandsons who live close to me, and I care for them as often as I can. I also have 45 kids at school who periodically need me to be there for them like mommy.

What I've found over the years are lots of ways of not picking up baby- toddler - preschooler - gradeschooler. When I was a young mom I had disc problems and not picking my children up started then.

If you are familiar with the word, genuflection, it helps. By keeping one foot on the floor while you are kneeling on the other knee, you can do a lot of things. This is the perfect position to allow toddlers to climb to the drinking fountain, to climb into your grocery cart, to climb onto play ground equipment that's a bit too high for them to manage alone - like swings.

I always sit down to tend a child. There are stools meant for that at Staples. They actually have - because I bought it for $35.00 - a treasure of a stool meant to allow you to sit anywhere. The stool is small, nicely appointed - looks like furniture - and manageable to carry anywhere in your home like the kitchen. It actually has "seat marks" for the rump.

Getting babies into car seats can be made easier by putting one foot on what's left of the - now I'm dating myself - running board. This way you can shift your weight and still stay in WWP. With one foot up, the amount of lifting you can do really changes. You can even kagel while you are doing this!

I make my grandsons do all that because they can and I won't.

I love to take William, who I call Wilbo, to the store and buy him anything he wants. This infuriates his mother which always gives me a chuckle, but Wilbo is a middle child and is nearly always the villain, so I compensate. William never leaves the store without asking to take his brothers something as well, and that warms my heart. Wilbo weighs about 50 pounds - he just turned five. I have him stand on my knee if he wants to sit in the cart and climb over the side.

Wilbo's brother Robbie is nearly two and always wants me to pick him up. He weighs over 30 pounds so I compromise and sit and let him climb into my lap. He stays there an hour which is my delight and we play at a table which is more comfortable for me on account of the arthritis.

At school I sit, sit, sit before I tend a child. They can climb all over me, but I have to be seated first, and they know it. Works! And I strengthen my upper arms with exercise.

Don't ever worry about stuff like this - it's always easy to figure out and we're here to help. No problem is a first, and with some ingenuity and creativity, you're going to do just fine.

Judy

I'm sorry your feeling so overwhelmed. I have'nt forgotten how exhausting baby-time is, and
it was one of the first things I decided I was lucky that my prolapse came along when the kids were big...
I have come across many posts describing ways to get through this stage that seem so sensible.

If there's one thing I think really gets us in trouble, it is trying to wrap our minds around all the changes
we think need to happen. We become exhausted before even lifting a finger at that rate... Try to stay in
the day and give yourself little and attainable goals, I know I was feeling deeply incompetent and had to
count my successes small and contrived as they seemed.

Hang in there dear, it WILL get better, little by little, and with the love in your family you will realize you
are ever so valuable and not broken - just more delicate than you were.
Hugs to you-
Zelda

Hi Gmom and Shellymum

Hmm, this is the challenge of the week. How does he get up there? Teach him to climb down again, or turn all the stools on their sides so he can't. If he has to push a chair from the other side of the room, it buys you time to stop him. I can be a mean Momma when somebody's safety is threatened! Also Gmom, your bribery method could work for getting him down again. Maybe get him to climb on your back and give him a piggyback ride, then slide him off or flop on the bed to let him down. Oh, we do have to be resourceful little possums, don't we?

He will eventually grow out of this stage, only he may graduate to climbing trees, buildings, mountains, mobile phone towers and the like. I understand riggers get paid very well these days! Hey, he's a boy, get used to it! ;-)

I don't think you ever really get used to the sensation of something in the vagina that shouldn't be there; there are so many nerves in that area drawing your attention to it. It doesn't happen much these days, so it doesn't bother me often.

But you do get used to noticing it every now and again, then not being scared of it, then relaxing again and getting on with whatever you are doing. I think that's called desensitisation. You also use your brains, like Judy suggested, to work out other ways of dealing with a situation, and use your body in different ways. I think Judy is pretty good at this. New ways of doing things become new habits very quickly when they work well, so you end up doing the old things in new ways without even noticing it.

Re the back pain, try pretending you have no back muscles. Raise your breasts and relax your lower belly. Keep your elbows in at your sides to keep your shoulders low (wierd but it works). Your pelvis will tilt naturally. I have also found that standing up or sitting down by furling or unfurling like a fern frond helps to keep my back muscles moving, then get straight into posture from there, whether you end up sitting or standing at the end of it. I figure the spine was meant to be able to move in all directions for its full length, so we need to let it do that as much as possible, or it just gets frozen.

Cheers

Louise

you're a dream of a grandma! I've got a 'wilbo' here, a middle one who's earning the title of troublemaker who desperately needs to be taken out with a grandma for some pampering.
I'll bet you already know this, but I'll say it anyway, you're making a huge difference in the life of that sweet child. those little outings will be the source of resiliency. I know because I had a grandpa do similar things for me.