Unassisted Birth vs Midwife assisted birth

Submitted by fruitful womb on May 9, 2008 - 11:18pm
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Hi everyone,

I'm back and I'm happy to report that I'm soooo much better! I hit the one year postpartum mark on April 9th. There are times when the cervix is way up there and hard to find. I've had to use the splinting method once for the first time in forever (last week) and somehow suctioned the cervix down with me. But recovered within the same day. That was weird! (thats another thread).

This thread, I have a question. Husband and I have terrible baby fever and want to ttc (right now if we could) next year, likely in two yrs. I want to have an unassisted birth as I'm weary of Midwives since my last delivery. She pulled on the cord (illegal in Sweden; or Denmark? I forget) before the placenta was detached and consequently: out came part of my uterus. My cervix was hanging out of my body. She went with me to a Gyn. to dx the "condition". The Gyn and the MW taunted me saying my female bits look like I was 60. I was 29, 8wks pp & I didn't want to hear that I lost 31 yrs of my life. Jeeezzz, what a way to kill a babymoon! :(

If I had a unassisted birth, I can let nature do what it does best. I am scared though, NO WAY do I EVER want to have a birth in the hospital again! I recommend watching the documentary "The Business of Being Born". I'm not so sure a Midwife(unless she sits in the other room and is completely HANDS OFF!)is any better.

Have any of you ladies ever had an unassisted birth before? Thoughts?

louiseds

May 10, 2008 - 12:10am

Great news Fruitful Womb. So glad you are going well. It will be interesting to see the responses you get re unassisted delivery.

Cheers

Louise

pip

May 12, 2008 - 3:14am

I think a lot depends on your midwife. Mine did sit on a lounge in the other room... you can get hands off midwives. Mine was 100% respectful of my wishes and I think it's always good to shop around for midwives just like anything else. It all depends on what you're looking for - I wanted a midwife present in case of emergency because we live so far from hospital.
But I know plenty of people who have freebirthed and it works well for them!! :)

All the best with your decisions!
Philippa

Mama to DS#1 emergency c/sec and DS#2 waterbirthed at home

alemama

May 12, 2008 - 11:09am

I liked my midwives ok each of the three times( mostly because I wouldn't let them do what they wanted to). And with our third I birthed at home. But I just don't really want anyone there this next time. I have been reading the c-birth yahoo group website- another thing you can check out is Laura Shandly- although she is into the orgasmic birth stuff so you have been notified.
with our homebirth I used hypnobirthing and it was amazing. simply amazing.

I really want to do it with just my family there- and mostly alone if you have to know. I might need a little support at the end b/c I am going to try to birth standing in a semi squat. anyway I gotta help kid #1 get some lunch- or I'd say more- just know it is out there and "normal" women do it.

ok I'm back. See the thing is I haven't met a midwife yet who didn't have an agenda. A midwife like a granny midwife who had assisted in all the births in the region - including your mother's birth of you. All the midwives I have met with and used had major fear- meconium staining- early births- blood pressure elevation-
all wanted to monitor the birth and make notes etc. I know this is just in case I sue them but I don't want that kind of energy around my next birth.
With my last birth the midwife swore up and down she was hands off- and then sure enough she wanted to check me and asked every 5 minutes until I consented (I told her to go away please and when I finally let her look she was looking at the head of the baby - satisfied she told me to push- which I didn't do -stubborn me- and I asked her to go out and she did) and I just don't want to have to deal with that. And then there is the prenatal care- which is also a fear based model- and I am not into that either- so we will see what we do

and in case of an emergency we will just call 911.

pip

May 12, 2008 - 6:42pm

I can understand how awful it would be not to be able to find a hands off mw who you feel you can trust to respect you. I know they exist because I had one - who never touched me at all or asked to examine me, etc. She just sat quietly in a corner in the next room and was *totally* relaxed. Even when bub didn't breathe for a while, she was cool and just watched calmly, when I was scared she smiled and said 'he's absolutely fine!'... But then I chose her because she was absolutely without fear - I was classed as 'high risk' to the point where my obstetrician dropped me but this mw was not at all concerned. She was more than happy to go with me on the homebirth journey, despite my 'high risk' status and distance from hospital. In fact, those things only concerned me, not her, and she never mentioned them.

Anyway, I know good midwives do exist and I wanted one given I was a bit nervous... but if ppl want to just be alone, that makes sense too.

There is a great group called joyous birth (www.joyousbirth.info) with a lot of people who have freebirthed. It is primarily an australian group but I don't think you have to be in Oz to join. They're a wealth of info.

All the best,
Philippa

Mama to DS#1 emergency c/sec and DS#2 waterbirthed at home

louiseds

May 12, 2008 - 9:30pm

Hi Alemama

You are one brave lady. I love your attitude towards bossing midwives around. If there is a fly on the wall during your next labour, it will be me. I promise not to annoy you. Just wave and say, "Hi Louise" and let me be. It would be awesome to be there.

Cheers

Da fly on da wall

granolamom

May 13, 2008 - 7:02pm

goodness, I keep typing out half a response and then one of the kids comes calling and I lose the thing.

anyway, I think UA childbirth has got to be one of the most glorious things ever. I'm too chicken to plan one that way, my ideal would be to have a mw sipping tea in the kitchen just incase I change my mind last minute.

I almost ended up birthing my last one unassisted. the mw didn't get here in time, dh was on the other side of the house bathing the kids and the doula had stepped out of the room to call mw when ds decided to make his appearance. I called doula back in because I wanted to focus on keeping my prolapse in a good, safe position rather than on keeping ds's head from hitting the floor.

regarding mw's, they are all so different. the first one I used was part of an OBGYN group and delivered in a hospital. a step up from an ob, but not much. the other one I used was very laid back and hands off (I used her for babies three and almost four -see above, lol). she kinda just sat there and made a few suggestions ('would you like me to check and see if he's crowning before you go and start pushing?'), was very hands off.

best of luck ttc and dont forget to keep us posted!!!