Helpful advice needed...trying to piece this together...

Body: 

Hi Everyone
I must say "Whole Woman" and reading various entires has gotten me though lately and I really want to thank everyone...
In a nutshell...37 years old with a 22 month old and an 8 week old...I noticed something was up with first pregnancy and now after this pregnancy I have cystocele...not yet sure what stage...looking back on things I think it is related to chronic constitipation and the bithing process...my spmptoms include a pinching feeling and "full" or pressure kind of sensation...worse after a bowel movement and I am definitley afraid to have sex...looking back I was so sore afterwards but attributed this to my pregnancy but now I don't think this, I know it is the cystocel.
I guess I am wondering if the pinching feeling will ever go away? I don't want surgery based on what I have been reading but this is really getting me down. I am obsessed because the feeling is always there.
I could use a boost or a reality check...
Kay

Congrats on your baby! I know that horrible feeling, of feeling so overwhelmed by the prolapse and at the same time looking after young children. It is a hard time.
I didn't have that pinching feeling but I had a lot of uncomfortable feelings. I had a golf ball bladder and bowel hanging down, and it was awful! All I can say is it's such early days. Your body has been through so much. I really think it takes at least a year to recover, in many medicines they say two. Well, you've had two babies in that two year time, so your body would really only be coming out of the first birth! I know that I had so much improvement in the first year--I can't imagine you'll be any different. It went in peaks and plateaus, and a few dips, but kept heading up (literally!)
By 6 months I'd had a huge improvement, but it kept getting better until about a year.

It's hard when that feeling is there all day--i'd dread waking up in the morning because as soon as i stood up, there it was...
But, i got into the posture, sat int he posture, stood in it, and rested when i could. And that, combined with eating really well, and some alternative therapies, made a huge difference.

And now i promise you i barely notice them--only when i have to go to the toilet, and then it gets better.

RE sex...it can't make it worse. First thing my physio did was give me homework--go have sex! most women find it helps to lift things. I used to feel a bit funny after for a few hours then better, but now the funny period has ended. so don't worry, it can't hurt things...it may even help. experiment with positions and see what works best for you.

hope that helps...
take care of yourself, and try to enjoy being mama to two beautiful babies. i know how hard it is, but they are a good distraction...

Kiki

Hi Kiki
Thank you!!!
What you said about having sex and that it can't hurt things really helped! I have been afraid to but I will take it slow...I have been amazed at how my cystocel has impacted so many parts of my life. This is just one part but I will try...I am still afraid but I will keep what you have said in mind and give it a try...I am less hesitant now. I have felt weirded out about how this fragile area is the only thing separating my bladder from the vaginal canal...it just doesn't seem normal at all and my inclination has been to be in protection mode...at the same time I know I have to move forward on this...my hubby is great (very understanding) but I also realize we can't be in limbo land forever!
Thanks again for your kind words and advice!!! It means a lot to me.
Kay

Hi Kiki
About the posture...
did you implement it into your life based on what is provided on the website or did you have more than this to go on? Any tips?

well- ok- no straining on the toilet ever. Are you still constipated? if so get things moving well.
standing in the posture is really helpful for that pinching feeling. You may want to read some recent posts about nerve entrapment- sounds like you had some damage done at birth to your vagina is that correct? If so you may want to wait a little to have intercourse- the tissues are still healing and you have been right to protect them. If you have a very gentle partner and lots of lubrication then you may enjoy yourself and experience the lift some women get (myself included) from penetrative sex. Try different positions if you can- some things that worked well pre-prolapse for me didn't work so well after.
You can also practice peeing in the posture- with semi- standing squat. This is a great quad strengthener.
I hear you about the funny feeling of having not so much between the vagina and your organs- it is funny when you actually think about it- but rest assured it is normal. And especially normal to feel like you have less stability there too- all the ligaments and tendons are so stretched out- you will feel much more strong and supported in the posture because it pulls everything as taut as it can get. And stronger and more stable as time goes by. I am 18 months postpartum and around a year or so I started to feel really good (like back to my old self good) but I still take it easy - I don't lift heavy objects frequently and I don't run much. But when I do I do it in the posture.

Regarding the feeling of it worsening after a bm-you may want to find the article on the self- exam. It may be that you also have a rectocele- or it could be possible that when you are full your back wall is more supportive of your front wall so when you void you lose that support and feel a little worse- not to freak you out- just thinking.

This really does get better. Congratulations on your new baby and your old new baby!

use the search engine to the left for descriptions of the posture- there are two pictures that I know of (one is in the FaQs) and many great descriptions- don't be afraid if it is hard to do for the first month or two- soon it will be effortless. And there is a book by Christine Kent- and a video- look at the Wholewoman store.

search "goatgirl" for a good photo