Help - need advice and support on 2nd birth

Body: 

Hi all,

I haven't posted for a while, after suffering a miscarriage in Jan of this year, I am now 11 weeks pregnant again.

For those that don't know my story I had a 9 pound baby boy in Jan 03, the birth was a full Ob intervention birth - induced, epidural, vacuum extraction, catheter during labour (which gave me a Urethral tear). I had complete bladder failure after this birth, no sensation to go, and when I stood up from bed I gushed urine, I had a catheter for 2 weeks, and leaked around this. I started physio and slowly but surely gained control back. I still suffer slight stress and urge incontinence, but nothing like after the birth.

I have booked into a birth centre for this next baby, and plan to have a water birth, with the support from Midwives only, no docs. My other choice was to go to an Ob and have an elective c-section, my Urologist said I would have no trouble requesting this given what happened last time.

I have done much research into vaginal vs c-sections, I went to a Urogyno, one of the leading in our country, and she said there is no evidence to suggest that a c-section would protect me, so I figured why go through that.

Now that I am pregnant and facing giving birth in the not to distant future I am TERRIFIED, not of giving birth naturally, but what might happen afterwards, I understand that my incontinence may be slightly worse, but I just don't think I can go through the complete lack of control over my bladder, and if there was any chance that a c-section would prevent this, I would have it.

I'm finding it difficult to find anyone who has witnessed such extreme incontinence following childbirth, and if they have what has happened next time around.

I currently go to a Naturopath, Osteopath, Massage Therapist, use the exercises and posture etc in Christine's book and once my all day sickness has settled, I'm starting Yoga for Pregnancy. Any stories, advice, suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks in advance.

Regards,

Deb

Deb,
I did not have the severity of problems you did. But want you to know that I beleive you will find the right path for you simply because you are searching and researching. My first child was a c/s, second child natural homebirth afterwhich I prolapsed, and third child natural homebirth. I was terrified, too, though again, my symptoms were stress incontinence, falling out feeling, and difficulty having bowel movements. But after much research, I finally came to peace with my decision to homebirth again and my experience is that I immediately postpartum after my second birth was the worst experience I have had. AFter having my third child I have to say I feel whole. I did not suffer any of the devestating feelings physically or emotionally that I suffered after #2. So for me not having a c/s was the best decision. It was a quick labor and birth (the midwives almost didn't make it!). I believe that you will choose what is best for your body. Make quiet time for yourself to contemplate and listen to what you heart and body have to say (or if you have faith what your God has to say). Just wanted to offer my support and well-wishes for this pregnancy and birth.
jane

How wonderful to hear your news, Deb! I can only second Jane's comments and tell you how glad I am that you found a supportive team to work with. Please stay in touch with us, as it's hard not to get attached!!

Jane & Christine,

Thank you both so much for your quick response and your supportive words.

Jane, I have followed your story since I found this site and you have certainly inspired me.

I will keep you posted on my progress.

Thank you again.

Deb

Hi Christine,

Well sad news to report again, I have just miscarried at 12 weeks, second one this year. I don't want to dwell on the negatives too much, but was just wondering if there would be any reason my bladder prolapse would cause these miscarriages?

Fingers crossed, it will be third time lucky for us!

Regards,

Debbie

Hi Sweetheart,

Yes

Christine,

As always, thanks for your advice.

I think I mentioned in a post a while ago that I was going to see a Urogynaecologist/Obstetrician who is a leading doctor in our country. My main reason was to get her thoughts on natural vaginal birth vs c-section given the problems I had with my first birth. To my surprise she said she didn't believe that there was any hard or justified evidence to suggest that a c-section would help me, and in fact, due to the recovery time would probably make me feel worse. She believes that the least intervention possible is the best. I was a little taken a back as all the other health professionals, apart from my Naturopath and Osteopath, have said have a c-section - maybe the times they are a changing!!!

Thanks again for your support and encouragement.

I'll keep you posted.

Deb

Deb,
I am so sorry! I am certainly thinking of you and praying comfort and healing for your body and your heart. I have a friend who miscarried twice around your stage and the problem was hormonal (I think her progesterone levels dropped) so they gave her hormones with her third pregnancy and he will turn 1 year old at the end of June. I do pray blessings for you.

Jane,

Thank you so much for your support, it is certainly always a comfort to hear other people's success stories.

In our country (Australia) they generally don't do tests for reasons for miscarriage unless you have 3, but I have asked to be tested as I am in my mid 30's (don't know how I got here so quickly!!!) and I don't want to risk having another one if it is something that can be fixed easily, like your friend.

Again, thanks for your kind words, support and prayers.

Regards,

Deb