a void dance?

That’s exactly what happens, Blue, and why it’s so hard to get things back in place – they’ve lost their seat on the bus! AND why stomach vacuums are so valuable, because they pull everything up. Yes…the intestines and many other organs have fascial connections to bone or other structures.

The reason my UP is so much more out of control than Louise’s or Goldfinch’s is because during my surgery they entered the “space of Retsius” (these surgeon-egos crack me up) behind the pubic bones by destroying the highly specialized fascia that normally encloses this area around the bladder neck.

Shortly afterward – probably when I was desperately and oh-so-painfully trying to have a bm before getting on the airplane home (I look back at what horrendous trauma I unknowingly sustained during that entire misadventure and think, poor girl!) I believe my small bowel slipped into that space and has been residing there ever since. For me, there is only the possibility of moving my uterus up higher alongside the back vaginal wall, rather than moving the entire bladder/uterus complex forward as we see Goldfinch accomplishing.

LOLOLOLOL!!! Oh-oh! Here we go, rewriting all the nursery rhymes!

Hi Blue,

I was reading your post about feeling Humpty-Dumtpyish. In addition to the posture and staying lubricated, I know my diet and weight are very important to managing my prolapse. Just thought I would share that I recently found a website, www.fitday.com that I am really enjoying. It's a free online diet and weight journal and it's great for keeping track of what you are eating and for keeping yourself on track! Although I thought I was eating healthy, I was amazed to find out that most of my calories were coming from Fats and Carbs and I was getting so little Protein. I also discovered I came no where near getting my daily requirement of nutrients either. It's kind of a fun way to keep track although it is a little bit of work at first plugging in all the info. Once it's in there though, it's pretty easy.

My knowledge of the female anatomy leaves much to be desired as well. I am amazed by the things I read here! For me, right now, it's still a matter of trying different things and figuring out what works best for my prolapse. However, I have noticed lately I am a little more curious about the "why and how things work" aspect!

Hoping yours is a good day T-Dee!

Regards,

T-Dum!

Hi Blue

I just got home from bellydancing and could hardly move when I got out of the car after the hour's drive home. I have had dinner and a big glass of red, and I am too stuffed to post a reply. My bed is calling. Will reply tomorrow.

Loiseu

Only one glass of the Big Red Loiseu! You are a good girl, you are! Now me...I'm the little girl that has the little curl right in the middle of her forehead....

Sleep tight!

T-Dum!

Hi Blue,

I am so sorry this is bothering you so much and I understand perfectly! I went through a terrible time when I first discovered my prolapse and for years I couldn't even post on this website, although I was a frequent visitor, because I was in such denial. I can't tell you how many times I cried, got angry and almost convinced myself surgery would have been better than what I was living with. Thank goodness I got over that, but it is hard, I know.

I had no sooner learned to live with two failed surgeries on my little pinkie (cut a tendon with a knife trying to separate frozen steak...don't do that!!) before my prolapse appeared! I spent years in therapy with my finger and I was not ready to deal with more health issues. But, of course, I did and in time (too much time) I came to realize I needed to stop living in denial and do something about my problem. That's when I started trying everything I could find that might help..diet, exercise, the posture and my favorite...staying lubricated!

There are no hard and fast answers unfortunately. Some days, no matter what I do, things are not going to improve much. Other days, all seems pretty good and I try to repeat whatever I did the day before to keep it that way. That may, or may not work...I never know for sure what will happen.

But, I just keep reading, trying to learn all I can, come to this wonderful website for support (and laughs!) and keeping trying all the things that seem to work best for me.

I wanted to contact you through email, as I had a few personal things that I wanted to share with you, but I see you don't have your Contact information under your name. I'm not sure if you just don't want to be contacted that way, or if maybe you just haven't filled in that information yet. At any rate, you can contact me by going under my name and clicking on Contact, or if you prefer not too, I'll see you soon on another post here!

Ahh, I envy Louise in her slumber! Nothing brings on a good nights sleep like a night of dancing and a little of the bubbly. Cheers, Louise!

((Hugs)) Blue..we will get through this!

Mae

Blue, your story and mine echo on many levels. I, too, was working to take age 50 by storm. I was riding my bike, exercising, and eating well. Then, I had my last cycle, and things changed quickly. A bladder problem worsened. The urologist sent me to a hormone specialist. Within just a few weeks on HRT, I was sicker than I’d ever been in my life. I was on the prescription just 6 weeks but it took a devastating toll. I then suffered rebound effect and my own hormone system was shut down. That big dip led to my urethra dropping. I spent three whole months on the couch or in the bed. I could not even walk straight. I could not tolerate bright light. I could not eat. Food was like a foreign substance. My husband fed me little pieces of fruit during the worst of it. I have always had an active creative side. Usually I have a poem or story or something working in the background of my mind. The HRT and rebound totally took it away. For the first time in my memory my mind was completely quiet and seemed so empty. I had lost my physical strength, I felt so weak and sick all the time, and my mind was empty of so many beautiful thoughts that are as much a part of me as breathing. It was so very scary. It is almost two years now since the worst began. A few problems will remain with me for life, I believe. But I have conquered so much of it. Good nutrition, safe exercise, faith in myself, and love were vital to rebuilding my health. I plan all of my exercise around WW Posture now. It seems to have changed my center of gravity. I am just stronger in posture. The lower body part was innate to me. The upper body posture took 6 months or so to get right. I eat things I never would have considered before. I take a few, extremely well chosen supplements. When stress comes calling, I retreat the best I can and regroup. I do what I have to to release negative thoughts quickly. They have no place in my life anymore. I believe they are as damaging as poison. I take no prescriptions at all, nor any over the counter drugs except for the occasional Excedrin for a headache or backache. I seldom need them. A couple of weeks ago, I gave up a long term habit with the little Wal-Mart antihistamine sleep tabs. There were a crutch and I don’t want crutches, even small ones, anymore. After coming back from HRT death, I can come back from anything. I solved the bladder problem on my own. Blue, believe me, time will heal your body and your heart. Healing your heart is vital. Become your own best friend. Have great faith in yourself. Smile at yourself in the mirror. Love out loud. Find joy in silly things. Play with Mae and Louise. Take all the goodness you can from WW. It is a good place to find healing. I just turned 51. I’m a year past my goal, but I’m here and smiling and in love with life. Yes, I’ve got my crosses to bear, but don’t we all? I use them to help others, at least that makes them good for something. Life is good. I wish you good things Blue. All will be well enough. (sorry if this is run-on, I only had a few minutes to spare) All things good for you, Kit

Hello sweet women.

I’m sitting here at the close of a busy day feeling a glow I can hardly express. And as I read Blue’s words my heart leaps.

For I’ve stumbled around in that dark and cavernous Void until dashed to the ground sobbing…and watched through tears as the days turned to years and the years to elder-land.

Strange how I’ve learned just one thing of real value…that the Void can only be filled from the inside out.

I, too, missed the Golden Bus…terrifying, difficult circumstances, and tragic choices that prevented me from ever knowing how my strong, beautiful, and natural body might have aged gracefully.

Through this work, or the Grace of God, or my own fool’s luck, I knew I had to breathe. I mean, I had to Really breathe. Somehow I sensed that I had to find the Breath of Life as I felt my own breath becoming shorter and more gasping (grasping?)

As I began to breathe I started to understand that I needed to greet the sun each day with an open and grateful heart. And as I look back over the past six months I see that a new woman is standing here. She can still see the Void, but now she’s looking over the rim.

As I told you, dh filmed me breathing over the weekend. We watched it together tonight for the first time– something I was Not looking forward to – and as we watched…I was so very happy. For I was able to see the woman on the screen for who she is and what she has to give instead of admonishing her for missing the bus.

I cannot wait to share this with you because it is very pure medicine.

Christine

P.S. Post-production will take about three weeks.

Hi Blue

To put it a little less poetically than Christine, I take you back to the big elastic-sided bag (the belly) that contains several smaller, loosely-tethered bags full of Jello (organs), topped by the big set of bellows, the lungs that power the diaphragm.

If the big bag tips backwards a bit and if one of the small bags of Jello slips back and down, another will slip over to take its place, or the diaphragm or abdominal wall will cave in a bit to fill the void left, cos there is no air in the big bag. However the elasticity of the big bag means that it doesn't cave in, and the diaphragm has its own breathing agenda, so the organs just rearrange themselves to be at the lowest comfortable point.

If you tip the big bag forward again the void filler will slip back to where it came from and leave the void for the original slipped bag to go back to where it belongs.

Yes, all organs and muscles are each contained in their own fascia, that both supports them where they belong in the body, and allow them to slip smoothly over each other and all the other bags of Jello. Fascia is really a singular word, as all the body's fascia are one three dimensional network, with holes and tunnels for the organs and muscles. There is a simplified illustration of the endopelvic fascia in 2nd ed of STWW, page 27, which shows how the pelvic organs are kept together in a certain orientation, but separated from each other at the same time. It is pretty hard to render 3D in 2D, especially as there are no angles like a building, just strong, slippery, floppy, slimy stuff.

Louise

Hi Blue

No, actually I did not feel refreshed and full of energy Tuesday morning. I felt like I had been run over by a truck after bellydancing Monday night. POP's were fine, but the rest of me was umm, very stiff. Went to a salvage yard Tuesday with DS1 to collect a ute load of recycled timber. That loosened me up a bit, but no yoga last night; that would have been torture! A glass of vino and bed for me. Feeling a bit better today. It's Lindy Hop and Balboa tonight, yippee!!

Cheers

Louise

Hi Blue,

I am so glad you went back to FitDay! It can only help our prolapse, self esteem and general health if we eat well. Managing prolapse involves so many things doesn't it! After a while though, it all becomes second nature!

I love your attitude Blue! When you get down, you seem to quickly pick yourself up, dust yourself off and start all over again. Good for you. That's what I try to do and I know it's hard, but we can do it!

Have a great Wednesday. Tonight is "date night" for Dh and me, so I am off to get my hair done. I love when it's Wednesday...Dh calls it Mae Day!

(((Hugs)))

Mae

Hi Mae

You sound pretty energetic to me. I think it is wonderful to have a date with DH every Wednesday night. There should be more of it, making the time to spend together. DH and I did go dancing tonight. I feel a lot freer in the body again tonight, just like I did straight after bellydancing Monday night. Let's see what the bod feels like tomorrow morning. DH disappeared into sleepland about an hour ago. I'm off to join him now.

BTW, I would not have gone timber buying if it was my choice. DS1 is getting perilously close to moving away for work, so he pressed me into going, as we were running out of opportunities. It was a good move. I did the choosing. He did most of the carrying and loading, thank goodness. I'll wimp out of anything really heavy these days if one of my big men can be sweet-talked into doing it for me.

I figure that it is good for young men to learn that it is appropriate for them to do the heavy stuff for a woman if they can be there to help. I look on it as an investment in human relations education for them. No DIL is going to say to me that my sons are lazy and unthoughtful because I never taught them to do the heavy stuff.

A young man's physical strength is an asset which they can be proud of, and use productively for the good of all. If they can't use it productively I figure that they will use it negatively, and not feel appreciated.

Balboa is the dancing type.

Cheers

Louise