Emotional trip-ups

Submitted by Blue on July 24, 2008 - 2:42pm
Body: 

Just when I thought I'd read it all, I stumble upon, "Caucasian women with red hair seem to have the worst degree of prolapse and do not improve at all." ...Just my luck of the genetic draw. = : P
The latter half of that statement sorta dashes the high hopes that had finally started to rise above my anxt over this POP stuff. I don't s'pose a box of Loreal, perhaps in a camouflaging light golden brown, would fool the powers that be at this point *grin*... Ah well, if any other redheaded, peri/postmenopausal, WW-women with "improved" POPs can throw me a light-line, I'll be sure to grab a really, really tight hold...

~♥Blue

Blue

July 24, 2008 - 2:57pm

Hmm, couldn't find a way to 'edit' my initial post, but just wanted to add...

While an improved redheaded light-line toss would still be greatly appreciated, I'm going to do my best not to dwell on what "they" say "seems" to be. It is what it is (and I am what I am ;) I've come too far on the heads side of this game to let this stick to my shoe for long -- I gots things to do! = : )

~♥Blue

goldfinch1

July 24, 2008 - 4:32pm

Blue:
I copied and pasted the entire statement and then Googled it. It took me right to the web site where you found the information...

Well, where is the scientific backing for this profound statement? Where did this person ever come up with this information about people with red hair? I'm a natural brunette, now a blond. I became a blond right after menopause. Maybe that's what contributed to my POP??? No Way!

Write that web site off and don't even bother reading stuff like that. Pull out Christine's book and re-read it again. It will make you feel much better and much more in control of your situation.

By the way, please share with me how you insert the 'heart' before your name. Is it HTML? Does this site support that? Thanks.

Goldfinch

'Life is not holding a good hand; Life is playing a poor hand well'

louiseds

July 24, 2008 - 9:04pm

What is with men and their obsession about describing women by the colour of their hair???

I am sure women don't refer to men as *a* blond, or *a* redhead, etc. (that would imply that there was something female about them - haha!) They are a person, not a thing, a man in particular, a hunk maybe, hot maybe, cute maybe, touchy-feely maybe, sloppy maybe, reptilian perhaps, but a hair colour!?? Wha?

Maybe it is to do with the perception that people with red hair are in some way different, and maybe to some that means 'not perfect like me'. I did hear a news item the other day that another albino (not albino person) has been murdered in Zimbabwe. Something to do with the body parts of albinos being used in witchcraft rituals. Sick, but a more extreme form of perception that 'different is both very good and very bad', definitely not normal.

I dyed my blonde hair bright red when I was in my early 20's phase, and 'washes out in two washes' turned out to be 'grows out in six months'. Well, was I treated differently by men for the first couple of months? I could not believe it! Maybe that's why I have prolapses too!

I have heard of some research about the prevalence of prolapses in different racial groups, but to put any value on it would be to pay it too much attention. You either have them or you don't, and you might get them later. If you do get them, you sharpen up your diet, change your posture and clothing, do a few things differently and get some blond bloke with big shiny muscles to do the heavy stuff, then give you a nice long massage afterwards.

Cheers

Louise

:-)

granolamom

July 24, 2008 - 9:15pm

I dunno, Louise, but back in the day when my girlfriends and I were dating we um, yeah, did, refer to redheaded guys as 'redheads'. I wonder if those redheaded men are now experiencing saggy-ball-syndrome?
:::::::chuckle:::::::: so ridiculous

blue, I'm sorry you came across that bring-me-down type of nonsense. I highly doubt there's any credibility to it. as far as prevalence of POP among various racial groups, maybe there is and maybe there isn't truth to that, but as louise said, you either have it or you don't and maybe you'll wind up with it later.
statistics mean nothing when talking about an individual.

Blue

July 24, 2008 - 10:26pm

...or color me Blue... = : )

I've read before that Caucasian women were more prone to POP, and I could understand that being broken down further to Caucasians of northern European descent, but redheads specifically being not only worse off but beyond improvement over other hair colors of similar descent? *shrug* I guess that it was offered by a doctor made me give it consideration, but I guess they don't get it right all the time...

At any rate, whether this doc's statement is based on truth or not (have yet to find further reference to it), that I stumbled across such a breakdown doesn't change the degree of my POP, presently, nor its future course, I totally agree... That I stumbled across Christine's WW-facts and way, however, along with this wonderful forum of caring, sharing whole women, just might, though, so that's where I'll try to continue focusing my efforts. Thank you for the light-lines, gals; I think I have a pretty good hold. Thanks for towing me back in. = : )

Oh, for what it's worth, I personally don't feel that I was treated any differently for being a redhead (more red/brown), except for my hair color probably being noted a bit more than that of my blond or brunette friends when being described/identified; but then I don't have anything to compare to, having never lived in another color... Yet! = ; )

Oh, Goldfinch, re the ♥-insert/character, I'd be glad to share how I plant it (it was shared with me on another forum)... I'm not totally familiar with the term HTML (code?), so I can't say whether this site supports that, but all I do for the ♥ is type in:
& hearts;
(omit the space after the ampersand, and don't forget the semicolon)

Thank you again dear whole women. ((HUGS))

~♥Blue

alemama

July 25, 2008 - 9:14am

I once participated in a pain study at UF and they found that redheads had a higher pain threshold than other women- not the purpose of the study- just a funny finding. I gotta say that genetics must factor in with prolapse in some way-
What is interesting is that I have never heard of any other non surgical approach besides Christine's- so how can anyone make a statement about the ability to heal a prolapse? who else has tried?
Blue- you will have to tell us in a few years if the statement is true for you :)

granolamom

July 25, 2008 - 1:28pm

♥

MeMyselfAndI

July 25, 2008 - 2:08pm

♥ Cooooooooooool

♥ Sometimes you are holding someone else's heart whithin your hands. You can drop that heart & bruise it. You can squash that heart & hurt it. Or you can stomp on it & totally annihalate it. You stomp on that heart or bruise it. It can forever be changed. ♥

goldfinch1

July 25, 2008 - 7:40pm

♥ ♥ ♥

Really cool........thanks Blue!

'Life is not holding a good hand; Life is playing a poor hand well'

ChannelD

July 26, 2008 - 8:50am

Hi Blue;

I am a red-headed, Caucasian woman, post menopausal, with POP and I am here to tell you quality of life can be drastically improved. Since I first logged onto this group and sent out my initial cry for help I have received much advice and have tried every bit and I am doing so much better I can't say enough for Whole Woman. Here are the things that worked for me.

Posturing on the toilet (which sounds like a fetish but isn't ha ha). I pee, then lean way forward to let gravity help out. Sometimes this works most gratifyingly with a great splash of urine which provides immediate relief from that still have to go feeling which is my main and most uncomfortable symptom. Sometimes it doesn't but even then when I sit up straight more always comes out. Standing up and then sitting back down also always triggers another release. Getting up and walking around often helps.

Addition of a stool softener. I have a rectocele and when that gets full up with stool it is very difficult if not nearly impossible to pee. Keeping things soft enough so it doesn't back up (so much, nothing is perfect) has also helped me enormously.

Kegels. I know some say this does not help but for me it has really alleviated the full feeling in my vagina that also can be very uncomfortable. I do them whenever I think of them and have also built them into my daily routines (like hairbrushing) so I don't ever forget.

Supplements. This came from me because I have always believed in vitamins and herbal supplements. Someone on the list suggested magnesium and I now take that daily. I also take a Soy supplement as well as Black Cohosh because estrogen depletion is, from what I have read here and elsewhere, the culprit behind the weakening of the walls that afflicts post menopausal women. I am here to report that I am back to having hot flashes which has to mean there is some estrogen going on in my body.

Affirmations. My chosen one is "My healing is already in process". I have it posted in my room and repeat it every time I pass it, five times and that is also a time I do Kegels.

Prayer. I pray for healing several times a day, as well as for the strength to bear it if healing is not in His Will for me.

Diet & exercise. Everything I have read says weight gain (which is a real post menopausal issue for me if not for anyone else) is bad for it and that just makes sense so I have joined a gym and upped my exercise routine, as well as eating less of the foods I love so well and which are so bad for me.)

All of this has not only greatly improved my health, but my state of mind as well. There are still bad nights when I sit on the toilet with a full bladder and cannot empty it enough to go comfortably back to sleep but I no longer sink into despair because I know there will be good nights as well when I get up and go and go back to bed like any normal person.

I hope some of this helps you. Genetics do play a role but self help and attitude and the support of others that this site provides counts for even more, in my book.

Cynthia

Mae

July 26, 2008 - 9:45am

That is so cool! ♥ Mae

Blue

July 27, 2008 - 11:41pm

Thank you so much for your response, Cynthia. Your sharing does indeed help. My emotional prolapse rises with every positive posting, especially by those of the same age group... and now, with this latest particular wondering of mine, of the same hair color. = ; )

My mental attitude has lifted greatly from the time I've spent here so far, as I get more and more acquainted with the Whole Woman approach and make it my own. God only knows what I would have done, or where I'd be emotionally, today, if I hadn't stumbled upon Christine's site and this forum. Early on, it was impossible for me to imagine ever feeling much other than the fear, anger and despair, that totally enveloped me upon the descent of this prolapse; but like you and so many others who gather here, my days are a whole lot brighter now - there are no more tears, and for that I'll be forever grateful.

What I hope for, is to catch 'up' physically and experience the kind of improvement most of you here have... I'm not asking for much, just for things to lift above the entroitus when I'm upright - For everything to stay tucked inside would be golden (outa sight, outa mind). I'm doing everything in my power for that to be so, ala the Whole Woman way, taking better care from stem to stern. Living in posture gets easier/better all the time (no more back-aches)... Hmmm, as I think of the initial symptoms I sported when I arrived here, there are now more physically 'good' days than bad, relatively speaking (not tucked in, but a tch less stuck out)... And that is something that would serve me well to remember when I'm experiencing an especially cloudier day on this journey, I know.

As for prayer - yep, me too, every day, including the rosary. I'm leaning on a host of intercessors these days, as well as on all of you wonderfully supportive whole women. = : ) Christine and this group has been a Godsend.

Oh, just last week, I decided to seriously reclaim the diet and exercise that helped me shed 80+ pounds a couple of years ago, since chucking it all for an extended wallow in prolapsed self-pity (40 repounds :( ... So far, I've lost 4-pounds... One small step and all that...
Hopefully I'll build momentum to stay on course (previously having had a couple of false starts) so I can get back to my respectful fighting weight. Perhaps that will help me some prolapse-wise as well.

Improved state of mind: - Check __ Improving health: - Check __ Improved prolapse: - I don't know; given my degree; we'll see - but here's hopin'!

Thank you again, Cynthia. Your living well is an inspiration! This forum is a boquet of inspirational women.

~♥Blue

Blue

July 27, 2008 - 11:46pm

lol -- While I haven't been here long enough to know enough to contribute much, it's nice to think that I added 'a little heart' to the forum that is taking such grand care of mine. (((H♥GS)))

~♥Blue

louiseds

July 28, 2008 - 12:51am

Hi Blue

Hey, don't worry about the false start(s). Think of them as blips that slow your progress. It is only really important that you make slow progress on your weight loss over, say a few months. If you stuff up for a week or a month, it really doesn't matter in the longrun. If you can do it slowly and gently, and not beat up on yourself for a setback, or expect unsustainable practices to work in the longterm, you can embed your new habits bit by bit into your lifestyle. Be gentle. Work with what you know you can do, rather than expecting your basic self to change. Being overweight is not fun. Losing it slowly is positive. Beating yourself into submission to get 3/4 of the way up the mountain, then sliding back to the bottom cos the effort required to climb is too much, is an undignified waste of effort and time, and just produces unproductive guilt. Baby steps is the way to go.

Cheers

Louise

Blue

July 28, 2008 - 10:36am

Thank you for your sage and sound advice, Louise, for reminding me to pace myself. Most definitely with the slow and steady - I know that's the best way to go and it's how I journeyed before. While I do seem to be losing quickly up front here, I'll attribute the loss of the first 3 of these now 5 pounds to lost water weight, having passed over the high-sodium junk that I had previously been grazing on. I'm aware of my present calorie needs so my rate of loss will likely slow down as long as I stay on track. One thing I'll not make a mistake on this time 'round is to over-exercise. During my 80-pound loss, I exercised excessively (loving how my new ability to move felt!)...it doesn't help that I seem to have a tendency to obsess -- but you're right, it's important to journey at a pace that's do-able for life, and that's my aim, to make changes I can live with for life - staying active without overdoing, and watching nutrition without total deprivation of the foods I like. So far so good. Thank you for your encouragement and support, Louise. ((WWHUGS))

~♥Blue

saddleup

August 27, 2008 - 10:12pm

Hi, Blue:

I realize I'm responding to a post that's been sitting here a while, but what the heck.
Good for you, praying the Rosary. I also took advantage of my parish offering the Anointing of the Sick for anyone seriously ill or facing surgery. I was contemplating surgery and needed wisdom to decide what to do. I've had my ups and downs, quite literally, but I feel at peace taking the Whole Woman approach for now and postponing any surgical intervention.

So, are you and I prolapsed Catholics?

If we all got together, would it be an Incontinental Congress?

For a North American physician, my gynecology specialist seemed quite uro-centric. Next time I see him, I think I'll ask, "So, is that urinalysis of the situation?" I'll remind him that I found him by process of elimination.

Do you think he'll absorb all those puns? It Depends.

Cheers,
Saddleup

louiseds

August 28, 2008 - 9:49am

Is it better to be a prolapsed Catholic or a lapsed athiest?

L ;-)

Mae

August 28, 2008 - 2:34pm

That is so funny Saddleup..a little humor around here. How nice! We needed that. Thanks for making me (and I'm sure many others) smile!

Warmest regards,

Mae (another prolapsed Catholic!!)

Blue

August 28, 2008 - 4:23pm

Saddleup, thank you for the Thursday laughs! - Your puns, especially one after another like that nearly had me spitting my morning OJ all over my keyboard! lol You're so funny!

... You know, I wasn't going to share this, as it reveals one of my embarrassing slow-mo's, but since it's just you and me? .... I have to admit that when I first read your post this morning, I thought, what could I possibly have written that lead someone to believe that I was a lapsed Catholic? -I was completely stumped!... Um, That is until about an hour later, while briskly walking on my treadmill, with rosary in hand -- It suddenly dawned on me, mind adrift, the 'pro-' part of your "prolapsed Catholic"! - LOLOL
My goodness, I nearly tripped over the Pater bead I was on! lolol Thanks for the light, kiddo - It nearly floored me. lol = : D

A nearly collapsed prolapsed Catholic,
♥~Blue

saddleup

August 28, 2008 - 5:56pm

Hi, Blue:

Glad you enjoyed the punnery. Sorry about your keyboard. Don't you love it when light dawns about an hour after you heard or read something? I do it all the time.

As for Louise's riddle, well, I guess that someone could be both a prolapsed Catholic and a lapsed atheist. I wouldnt' mind giving up the prolapsed part, but it seems to be a reality of life.

Lots of women on this site have expressed a remarkable sense of humor about their afflictions. It is very inspirational. I am an incorrigible punster (please incorrige).

Cheers,
Saddleup