37 Yr Old Recovering from Stage 3 Prolapse Surgery

Body: 

Hello. Like some of the other posts, I'm new here after searching the Internet looking for any kind of advice and support I can get. I'm 8 weeks post op from cystocele and rectocele surgery. I was "a mess," as my surgeon said and will likely need more surgery. Having a more minor one in 2 months to close the opening to my vagina which was totally stretched out after the birth of my first son 2 1/2 years ago (he was 9#, 4 oz, and was pulled out with forceps after 2 hours of noneventful pushing). My surgeon is one of the best, and he, unlike another surgeon I consulted, opted to use my own tissue instead of the mesh, b/c of my age, and b/c the vagina is a sexual organ (you'd have to convince my husband of that these days!) he didn't want to put a mesh in there for fear of discomfort or pain during intercourse. The downside is a greater risk of relapse. I recently had my second and last son 4 1/2 months ago (had to have a hysterectomy), via a VERY easy C-Section, and have struggled not only with the worsening of the prolapse, but recovery from TWO surgeries. The limitations I've had with lifting my baby have been very hard and make me so sad. My older son is very independent fortunately and understands I can't lift him. While my husband is wonderful, it's definitely taken a toll on him and our marriage. We have wonderful friends and fam, but it's still hard and I find myself depressed and crying one day, then feeling okay the next. I have limited my activity for a) fear of recurrence and b) to give myself ample time to heal. My doc said I couldn't lift over 15 lbs -- EVER -- which is unrealistic. So he has me in physical therapy both for kegels and to learn how to lift the right way if/when I have to. Of course I have to. My husband or other people can't be with me every second of the day. I have to live. I'm so scared and anxious though. And, I've read other comments on the Web about lifting limits, anywhere from 20 to 40 lbs. Any suggestions on that?

Would love to hear from other people in similar situations. I need some support.

sounds like you've been through alot. just to clarify...you had a baby 4.5 mo ago, and a hysterectomy. then a rectocele and cystocele repair? do I have that right?
I'm happy your surgeon opted to avoid the mesh. mesh hasn't gotten great reviews, from what I understand. so that's a good thing.

most of the women here have not had surgery. we're avoiding surgery by managing prolapse in a different way, by changing posture, diet, exercise, etc and helping the body support the pelvic organs the way it was designed to do.

but that's not to say you can't benefit from what you can learn here. I think the first step would be to take stock of what you have. learn your new anatomy well. get to know what aggravates or feels supportive and good. I imagine you want to be hypervigilant about avoiding constipation, you can find tons of information on that here.
I think you could probably learn the posture too, I imagine it would be helpful to you too.

you have time, time to slowly get to know your new body, learn to live with it, learn to love and care for it. I'm not sure about the lifting restrictions. in a woman who's not had surgery, the worst is that you lift too much and the prolapse acts up for a day or so. then you can double up on plies or something and get back to baseline. I *think* (but don't really know for certain, check with your dr) that once you've had surgery the stakes of incorrect lifting are greater. you don't want stitches popping. and scar tissue is not as strong or flexible as muscle. so I'd check with the dr or PT or whomever you entrust with your healthcare about the lifting restrictions and modifications.

and because you haven't done it yet, I'd rethink the necessity of closing the opening of your vagina. function trumps cosmetics, imo. its pretty normal to get stretched out after birthing a baby. think about it, and just make sure the benefits outweigh the risks.

I hope you stick around as you chart your course. we need more post surgical women trying wholewoman techniques and reporting back. It would be awesome to learn that repeat surgeries could be prevented.

and congratulations on the new baby!

Unfortunately, you've got it right. I would have liked to have avoided surgery, and maybe if I had utilized some of this wonderful information immediately after my first son's birth, I could have. But my situation was pretty bad. Now, I'm going to work hard to prevent relapse, doing all of the things you mention. I am going to ask a lot of questions before deciding to have surgery to close the opening. Thanks for your thoughts on that.
Amy