Differences in attitude to POP

Submitted by louiseds on September 3, 2008 - 10:05pm
Body: 

Hi Wholewomen

I'm prompted to post about this for a couple of reasons.

Firstly, I know that the initial diagnosis of POP is often one of pure grief, and that is something that each woman needs to work through in her own way, utilising the resources available to her, both here and elsewhere. My heart goes out to every new member who registers, then is brave enough to name her worries in an initial post. After that, women can start learning how they can find new ways of doing things that will enable them to process that grief and get on with their lives. This is harder for some than for others.

It is something that happens in their heart, like "Hey, this is not that bad now I have some tools to work with. I might be able to live with this."

There are also changes in thinking, with more thoughts like,

"Now I know how to physically balance my pelvic organs in a more stable way I know that there is no way they will come right out of my vagina. They may come close to the introitus, but it would take a major trauma to bring them further." or,

"I am getting older. Everything will sag a bit the older I get, but I now have new faith in my body's ability to conduct its own affairs. With proper practices there is no longer any need to be scared of disappearing down my own plughole or to think of surgical repair as *the answer*." or,

"Now I have had a pregnancy and birthed a baby my body will be a little bit looser all round, and that is OK. It is a sign of my having passed through the one way door of labour and birthing into the very special world of motherhood and parenthood" or,

"All these Wholewomen who gave birth a year ago have experienced pretty good recovery from postpartum prolapse. I now have the evidence that gives me reason to believe that my PPP's will improve to the same degree 1 year postpartum. I may even look forward to another pregnancy with confidence and joy, rather than with fear and trepidation."

The second reason I post about attitude comes from my reading posts from women who are having real difficulty with making Wholewoman techniques work. The improvement started quite quickly for me, and I can only imagine how frustrating it must be when progress doesn't seem to be happening.

I have done some pretty 'out there' posts, particularly in my Heavy Gardening Stuff topic, about some of the tasks I accomplish and some of the physically demanding tasks I tackle, and how I have gone about them. I post these examples, not to put myself up on a pedestal but to illustrate how far it is possible to take heavy tasks (particularly on a once off basis) without POP's suffering, during the peri/menopause years when, according to the medical model many women finally decide to have a hysterectomy and repair procedure to 'finally' deal with their troublsome bladder and uterus, and possibly bowel, when all that childbearing stuff is over. In ya dreams.

I may come across in cyberspace, without the benefit of eye contact and body language as part of the communication process, as being a show off, and just being lucky, and a pain in the butt because it is so easy for me, or maybe as a teller of white lies about the degree of my POP's, in order to be self-righteous about how clever I am. Quite honestly, I surprise myself about how well all this heavy work has gone, and I am so happy to be able to do *these* tasks without suffering for it.

I hope that you can all see my posts for what they are, simple illustrations of what has been possible for me to date. I may have to swallow my words if my body decides that I have overdone it and my POP's do finally get their revenge when menopause is established. I hope not. If this worst scenaario happens I hope I can be honest enough to eat humble pie and post about it for the benefit of others. At least I won't have to look many of you in the eye if and when it happens. ;-) None of us can fortell the future. We can only back the best horses available.

Cheers

Louise

Christine

September 3, 2008 - 11:26pm

I totally believe you, Louise, because I used to have a similar lifestyle. I didn’t realize until one of your recent posts, though, that your prolapse is about like mine. I thought your front and back walls were more pronounced than your cervix. I basically have no wall issues, but can create cyctocele/rectocele by pushing my cervix all the way up and bearing down.

I haven’t waived my prolapse-does-not-worsen-with-age flag much because I haven’t had enough other women to back up my experience – so you can imagine how grateful I am that you are almost menopausal and sharing your reality with us. Such a blessing you are for so many!

rosewood

September 4, 2008 - 12:04am

am pretty inspired by what you've shared. Was it Nelson Mandela who said that our greatest fear is not what we lack, but how great we really are (or something like that). The human body is a miracle. Life is a miracle. Healing is not only possible, but probable, both mind and body. And I'm not talking about absence of prolapse as healing. Ok, it's late.

Marie

MeMyselfAndI

September 4, 2008 - 3:20am

Louise I don't think you come over as a know it all. The way you come over to me is that you are a coper - You are the type of person who 'keeps it together' That is a good thing - You are - The most level headed person I know (I don't know everyone on here so that's justhow I see it)

I loved the 'Two doors' Post - That was a great thing for me 9mths ago.

I - Who has a grade3, have found that post very valuable. I still get a few days a month when it is 'trying' - I have my mantra (It won't kill me - I can survive like this - This will not end my life etc etc) And whenever I feel bad I say that to myself...

I think it is a good thing that people are so open on here - In the good and bad bits - As it shows coping mechanisms and gives strategies. It is also a good thing that you are ale to word things in a way that makes people feel like *Thinks of words* like they are kinda talking to a Mother Hen (lol - sorry) - Someone with whom they feel they are safe.

Reminds me of something I read online of a child talking about Love...

When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You just know that your name is safe in their mouth... Billy - age 4

In that I mean - People are safe to open up and for you to give a level headed and knowledgeable reply, that doesn't hurt (Words can hurt alot - We all know this) And You have a great talent for always putting yourself accross in a way that is never condescending, and always with an open ear...

(If you know what I mean)

Sometimes youre holding someone else's heart in your hands. You can drop that heart & bruise it. You can squash that heart & hurt it. Or you can stomp on it & totally annihalate it. You stomp on that heart or bruise it. It can forever be changed ♥

Christine

September 4, 2008 - 11:53am

I should've said, prolapse-does-not-worsen-with-age-as-long-as-you-practice-the-posture...lol

KatKat

September 4, 2008 - 12:03pm

Louise, I appreciate your comments. I got the POP diagnosis the first week of June. It was devastating because I lead an active life and was afraid that life was over for good. It is re-assuring to hear others experiences in maintaining an active lifestyle with POP. I was certainly on an emotional roller coaster this summer until my meeting with the surgeon 2 weeks ago. I was considering surgery mostly because I was afraid that POP would get worse and had no idea what I could do to help the situation. I had already decided to delay surgery to see how I could live with my situation, but then found this site the day before I saw the surgeon.

I some discomfort from a rectocele and cystocele, but don't have incontinence issues or pain. My cervix has dropped some as well. A tampon is effective in keeping me reasonably comfortable right now. I am 63 and postmenopausal and have had no pregnancies. I hope that I can stabilize POP with posture and attention to how I lift.

louiseds

September 4, 2008 - 6:50pm

Hi KatKat

I think you will find that the longer you practice WW posture, (accompanied by the wearing of clothing that doesn't compress the abdomen, a diet that prevents constipation, careful attention to how you use your body in strenuous activities, and whole body exercise that tones *all* the muscles in your body and keeps all of them working together with a full range of movement), the better the positioning of your organs will be. Additional exercises like Firebreathing and Nauli are extra rabbits you have in your hat for the inevitable times when you will overdo something and begin feeling the prolapses again.

I think my endopelvic fascia was pulled out of shape while I was still a growing teenager, but it seems to have reshaped itself somewhat over the last four years. If you read My Story you will see that a couple of pregnancy/childbirth issues played their part too. The fact that I can still make my organs descend on request proves to me that the damaged bits of fascia are still damaged, but I really do not feel that bulging that I felt when I first started WW techniques, at all these days, except when I really get caught off guard with a sudden sneeze or get off balance suddenly. It is only instantaneous though. I think that the better tensioning of the pelvic floor muscles in WW posture, which I use all the time, makes a pelvic floor bracing movement both quicker and more effective, because the pelvic floor muscles are already passively taut in WW posture. My fascia must have regained their proper shape to be able to contain any bulges, even if the tears and damaged bits are still ratty.

Like I said in my post to Lilly yesterday, it is like my internal, fitted jacket is always worn neatly and carefully maintained, so I can do anything wearing it, and it will still stay neatly in place. On the outside I like my clothing loose, flowing and comfy. On the inside though, I try to keep it neat as a pin, because it allows me to so many active things. Look forward to improvement.

Cheers

Louise

Mae

September 4, 2008 - 8:22pm

Hi Louise,

How interesting that you think people might think you are "putting youself on a pedestal." I think it is many of us that put you on a pedestal. You are a wealth of knowledge, caring and understanding. You give so much of yourself here. I read every word you have to say (sometimes more than once) and have learned so much from you. When I say you are an amazing woman I mean it. I admire that you have these prolapses, handle it all so well and do physical work I couldn't even think of doing without this prolapse!

I just want to thank you for all the help you've given me and to let you know you are appreciated. Not just by me, I am sure, but by countless women you have helped through the years!

Maybe you really do live in Oz! You certainly have the brains, the heart and the courgage to keep forging ahead in spite of everything. I hope you continue to live there and keep on keeping on!

Warmest regards,

Mae

louiseds

September 4, 2008 - 9:01pm

Well, thanks. I just put it out there because it is no use to anybody else if I keep it to myself, and I figure that somebody might gain something from it (as Christine has put her experiences and knowledge out there for all of us). One of the really good things about Wholewoman is the way we are all able to share our experiences *on the same level*.

We are certainly not going to learn any of the personal subtleties of prolapse from a doctor or physical therapist, nor are we going to learn the non-medical techniques for managing the condition.

It is amazing how many times a woman will pick up what another woman has experienced and say, "Me too. I always wondered if anyone else had this happen!" Bingo, shared experience, reduced emotional isolation, new discovery of knowledge, new resource becomes available for all women. Knowledge comes from many sources, and knowledge from other women is just as valuable as knowledge of professionals in the area of POP. Nobody knows everything.

With Wholewoman we are free to take info we find on the website, or leave it. It is like we are all members of a big, extended family who live in a very large villa in Italy together. We cook up experiences and ideas in the big shared kitchen, and leave personal and sometimes intimate messages for each other in the Big, Hot Pink, Oil- and-water-resistant, Lavishly-embossed, Rapidly-expanding POP Forum Book on the kitchen table, where only the women will read it. (Men are not shut out, and some visit but they don't interfere.) We read and answer messages when we are passing through the kitchen. There are things that family members share that we don't share in the town square. It is an open home, where other women from the wider community are welcome to call in and read our message book. If they want to stay and participate they register, then are able to participate fully as part of the family. We are welcoming and generous to each other, sharing richly in joys and sorrows, births and deaths, triumphs, failures and good recipes. Aren't we all wonderful? (((hug and pat on the back to all)))

Cheers

Louise