I'm new and what a relief to find this website

Your pessary story sounds like mine - Utter pain with a doctor ramming it in - Then it came out (mine) 18hrs later. My Dr is not the best of bedsidemanners - In fact I never went back! And that was about 3 or 4 years ago!

I am also in the Uk.

Read this site - You will find sooo much information... It will take a while to digest and understand.

Sponges can be a great help. I used one for a while. Some people use tampons - Some even a tampon sideways if their uterus is too low for the normal way up...

Kegels can help a little - But the Posture will help you so very much more...

All will be ok - You will find a lot of information here :-)

And you are very welcome :-)

Sue

Sometimes youre holding someone else's heart in your hands. You can drop that heart & bruise it. You can squash that heart & hurt it. Or you can stomp on it & totally annihalate it. You stomp on that heart or bruise it. It can forever be changed ♥

I am glad you found us. The site has been a great help to me since I found it 3 1/2 weeks ago when I was trying to find alternatives to surgery. I do have Christine's book now too. I am 63, have a cystocele, rectocele and dropped cervix--don't know what grades, but enough to be uncomfortable

Your experience at your doctor sounds perfectly dreadful. I can't imagine a doctor stuffing a pessary in you that she knew was the wrong size. I don't use a pessary, but I understand that they are to be taken out and cleaned regularly. Could you go to another doctor if you wanted to try a pessary again?

I do pretty well with a tampon--haven't tried the sponge yet. There is a tampon available in the UK that has been mentioned on this site. It expands sideways, so is supposed to be good for helping to support a cystocele. You may be able to find out what it is called if you search around the site.

I felt pretty sorry for myself after getting diagnosed in June until I found this site. I am doing much better now that I have some positive things to do to stabilize my prolapses and eventually improve them with posture and watching how I handle anything with weight. It is more productive to talk about prolapses with others who are dealing with prolapses. It is a common condition and nothing to be ashamed of.

Have you looked at FAQ (frequently asked questions) on the home page? If you click on item 12, an explanation and drawings of the Whole Woman Posture will come up. That is an important part of the work we are doing to stabilize our prolapses. You will be able to get started while waiting for the book with the information on this site.

Hey, Maudie, Welcome!

You can turn this whole thing around in about a year. I know, I know, it sounds such a long way off, but it's not. First thing to do is to go to a mirror and tell yourself that you love yourself and that you are well worth fighting for. If that doesn't work, tell yourself that Judy loves you and Judy says you are well worth fighting for! That's always the first step. Get grounded.

Next calm down - you're not going to die yet! But don't let doctors play doctor with you! Learn on this post what you want and what you will tolerate from them and what you should regard as doctor abuse and then hold your ground. They are your employees, after all. You don't need a doctor to tell you you have a prolapse.

Next adopt the whole woman posture as quickly as you can figure it out. It takes some muscle and some stamina to keep in posture all day. Keep reminding yourself about it, and it will happen. Stand as tall as you can (immediate weight loss) and keep standing that way. Sit like a princess in whole woman posture and half your battle is waged and won.

Next read here all about what you should and shouldn't eat and that extra weight will fall off you. Really evaluate all your food. Ask yourself each and every time you are tempted with food if you really want to eat that. Then throw half of it away. You know what you should and shouldn't eat. Eating properly will help your prolapse.

Try a tampon if all else fails. But insert it lying down and use some olive oil as a lube job.

I'm a 57 year old post crazypause teacher who is on my feet 10-12 hours a day. I'm not as often to this site as I would like, but I will fight for you to do all the above, and in about a year, you will be laughing and having fun again.

I love you,

Judy

Hi Maudie

I'll add my tuppence halfpenny worth too. Hey Maudie, the rest of your life just started, and I bet it will get better, just as the other Members said. Mine certainly has, after four years of Wholewoman! I hope you experience plenty of progress too.

What your doctor did was roughly rearranged your pelvic contents. Not nice, and not a sign of an experienced practitioner. Not an experience worth repeating. I doubt that you will need a pessary in the long term but there are more skilled fitters out there if the techniques you manage yourself don't work. Sports tampons (that open sideways) and sea sponges work well for some, though I don't find I need them.

I think your comment about only putting sterile things in your vagina is suitably seasoned with a grain of salt. A sterile penis? now that would be an interesting contraceptive! Don't think you would get many male takers though!
Yes, things you put in your vagina need to be clean. Hydrogen peroxide? Boiling? Perhaps if it has been rattling around with your mascara and old lipstick for a while. Whoo! The mind boggles. I am sure you will get a few replies from Members experienced with pessaries, sponges and tampons.

The homepage referred to is www.wholewoman.com.

At our age (I'm 55 and still menstruating) lubrication, both for sex and on an everyday basis (even just some times of the month), and particularly with pessaries of different types, can mean the difference between disaster and absolute comfort. I use Wholewoman balms almost exclusively (but not all the time), but also use olive oil and olive oil mixed with massage oil, but Wholewoman Bliss Balm is *the* best, cos it is not runny at room temperature. Having said that, I am not grappling with latex pessaries, condoms, diaphragms or instruments of pleasure, which dislike oils.

Kegels, properly done, are good for recovering pelvic floor muscle tone when they have gone off the air, but don't overdo them. They also have a role in reducing urinary incontinence. The research does not show that Kegels are effective for reducing prolapse past that. Prolapse is caused by damaged fascial supports in the pelvic cavity and damage to pelvic floor muscles, *usually* as a result of surgical intervention in the area and/or badly managed labour and birth. If the pelvic organs are tipped forward with Wholewoman posture onto the pubic bone, the pelvic floor muscles are moved to diagonal positioning, which tightens them naturally (see the book, edition 2), reducing them to a stabilisation role at the back of the pelvic diaphragm. They then carry little vertical weight, becoming more like a door or wall, rather than a trapdoor! Most Wholewoman members would regard well-toned pelvic floor muscles as just another part of the pelvic support system. I think I could safely say that they are not the critical factor that most women's health practitioners promote heavily. The critical factor is getting your pelvic organs off the top of the pelvic floor muscles. What do you do when your boat develops a crack? You don't shove rags into the crack while you are still bobbing around on the ocean. You get the boat onto solid ground! Yeah, well it's the same with pelvic organs. Put them somewhere solid and they won't go down the plughole. ;-)

Be prepared for some serious reading time when the book arrives. It explains all this technical stuff very well and clearly.

Hey Maudie, isn't it amazing how you outlook changes when you carry yourself like a princess! The fairy tales were right in this regard. I bet you look better too! I never felt feminine until I found this website. I really am a different woman these days, and people notice.

Weight loss is a big challenge with big rewards. We have many members who will relate to your words and are doing it with you. Just do it slowly and steadily for your new body. Then your inside supports can better keep up with the gradual loss of internal fat, as well as external. Expect setbacks prolapse-wise and weight loss wise on the way. Forgive your prolapses. With the right treatment by you, they will get the hang of it eventually. Forgive yourself too for weight loss setbacks. They seem to be part of the game too.

Re not being used to having pelvic exams, it is something that is very easy to put off but it is really in your interests to have regular PAP smears. They are not so bad if you go to someone who does them carefully. I can only encourage you to do this regularly as part of looking after that precious bod of yours, which you will need to carry your heart and soul around for many years. You are worth it.

Feeling some shame and lack of femininity as a result of discovering prolapses is very normal, and yes, there is a stigma attached to prolapses, no doubt about it. Crazy really, but it is not something that is easy to discuss and become comfortable about, even with your closest friends. Of course, there is nothing to be ashamed about, and you and I and the rest of us are no less feminine as a result of a bit of slippage, but that doesn't make it any easier to share with others. Well, the good news is that you can share it all here. There is no TMI. Just a bunch of wonderful, understanding women who have been where you are and can help you through it. Chin up.

Come back with comments and questions.

Cheers

Louise