C-section vs. Vaginal birth

Oh Marcella...I wish I had a map for you that would show you the best way. The reality is that you must decide this for yourself and the sooner the better. I will say that if you have already decided on anesthesia, the probabilities of initiating the chain of events that lead to instrumental delivery (and more damage) increase dramatically. I know you said you have little or no support for a gentle, midwife-assisted birth, and this is a very important factor.

If all 3 doctors told you the same thing then perhaps a c-section is best. I can't remember your history, but gather you had a serious perineal tear. One thing you can do is put your thumb into your vagina and a finger into your rectum and feel for yourself the size and strength of that area (the perineal body). If you were inclined to go for a natural birth this self-assessment might give you the data you need to trust in your body. But Marcella, from the beginning, at least here, you really haven't shown much inclination for a totally natural birth.

You know I am not a childbirth expert, but I will tell you from all I have learned I believe that the decision should be between a natural birth using only your own hormones and no meds, or cesarean.

God bless you and may you find the right path for you.

Christine

Marcella,
I am strong proponent against c-sections for no reason. I think we over do them in this country as well as many other interventions and regulations on birth that create bad situations for babies and bad situations for mothers. Doctors go into the field with the best of intentions, but then they realize how demanding the schedule is to keep and how expensive malpractice insurance is and the only things they get sued for is what they did NOT do, not what they did do: i.e. performing a c/s and that scheduling c/s is a lot more time efficent.

Having said all of that, if you are planning a hospital birth and you are planning anesthesia, you will be in the worst position for a birth that will not damage your perenium (your back) and therefore, you may be better off to plan a c/s.

I don't know how they can tell how thin the skin is, mine feels pretty thin, or how that they can then use that to determine what would happen in a gentle, natural birth where you were in control of how you moved, when you stood, when you squatted, when you pushed, but I had two babies at home: first one squatting and the second on standing up, and I tore neither time.

However, when I was in the hospital with my first birth strapped down to a bed by the fetal monitor belt unable to move and get into comfortable positions, being a place that I associated with the sick and dying so therefore I was scared out of my brain, I did not progress. 24 hours and very little progression: 4 cm I think was the max. At home where I felt comfortable, I wasn't afraid of the pain, I felt in control, I felt empowered: labor 2 was a little over 5 hours and labor 3 was a a little over two hours.

You must birth whether vaginally or surgically as you feel comfortable. If you instincts say that you can vaginally birth this baby without further damage, go with them b/c a c/s may leave you feeling dissatisfied and disempowered. However, if your instincts are fear of damage if you vaginally birth, go with the surgery because that fear may inhibit your progress.

A few pieces of encouragement, typically second labors and births are easier. I have a friend who is probably 100 pounds and 5'1" and her first baby was almost nine pounds. She tore and was cut. Not a fun situation. However, her second baby was 9 pounds and she birthed her with NO cut or tear. Both were hospital births becasue that's where she felt comfortable. I do not remember whether or not she anesthesia with #2, but I know she had an epidural with #1 and he suffered from birth trauma (she was on her back, feet in stirrups and couldn't feel to push so was coached in her pushing).

Christine is absolutely right, we all must find our own way. Test out your decisions. Today decide that you will have the c/s and sit with it for the day, maybe even through tomorrow and then examine how you feel about that decision. Then decide that you will birth vaginally for a day and see how you feel about that decision. Which one gave you the most peace? Which one felt like a safe way to bring you baby into the world? Which one felt like a way to preserve your health?

I struggled with this at the beginning of my pregnancy and came to a decision that was solid. I did fear at times early on after making the decision, but as I got closer and closer to the due date I KNEW I had made the right decision. Ever;ything worked out as it needed to, right down to the fact that I basically labored alone until 10 minutes before he was born. I needed to go through that alone, to trust myself and my body to birth this baby and it was such a glorious experience. But again, it was MY experience, I have a friend who loves scheduling her c/s and birthing that way and that feels perfect for her. You will find your way because you are asking the questions.

Marcella,

Not sure if you know my story, I had a terrible first birth, full Obstetric invention, horrible incontinence after etc etc.

When I was recently pregnant with the second (miscarried at 12 weeks) I had to make the decision that you face now. I know how difficult it is, I had many teary talks with my partner about it.

The doctors I spoke to in my area (Australia) all but one said go for a natural/water vaginal birth with midwives, with the least amount of intervention. They did all suggest an ultrasound at 37 or 38 weeks to check the size and position of the baby, hopefully this would have determined what sort of labour I would have.

I had finally decided on the vaginal birth, but it wasn't an easy decision, and I had many a sleepless night, but like Jane said, you have to listen to your own thoughts, and the answer should come to you.

I wish you all the very best for your birth, I am sending positive thoughts your way.

Take care.

Deb

Marcella

Marcella! I am so sorry for that experience. I cannot imagine. you are a very strong woman to have endured what you did.

I know you will make the right decision for you. You will not have any regrets. It will most likely come to you when you least expect it. You know really you do have time to make your decision. If you start in to labor and suddenly realize you want a c/s, you could demand one. My midwives were caring for a woman who decided after planning her homebirth she wanted to go to the hospital when labor hit, so they accompanied her to the hospital and were going to act as labor support there. However, after they registered her and the nurses began to tell her she had to do this and she had to do that, she said to the midwives that she wanted to go home and So she signed out AMA and went home and birthed her baby.

You're pregnant and about to give birth and you can decide where, when, and how on your own time.

What Christine said about the "motherly" figure during birth: during my second birth which was my first homebirth I had previously had fears that I couldn't birth vaginally. When the midwives arrived after I'd been in labor for two hours, the apprentice put her hands on my shoulders and began whispering to me adn Icannot explain the calm that came over me. My recent birth, all I needed was me. :) That was the awesome thing about midwifery care was that my "visits" (a.k.a. appointments) with them were an hour long--for that hour I had their full attention. and my appointment started at the time it was scheduled for. We talked through my fears, etc. And I really felt they had time for me.