was doing so well!

Submitted by oscar2007 on December 7, 2008 - 2:03pm
Body: 

I have been feeling so good and able to deal with this, firebreathing was working and even been trying nauli! but this last week has turned into a disaster, my period is a week late ( done test and it's negative). I had sharp pains earlier in the week and almost immediately a bulging feeling and the weight of everything pre-period is making everything lower, whether this is my new stage or not? Add to that thrush! I am waiting for the delight of a period so I can use tampons and enjoy some support for a couple of days. I thought I could manage this but my body has a different agenda to my mind. I've had a day where surgery seems quite acceptable and from all I read on here I've come to the conclusion that the mums with uterine prolapse struggle and those with cystocele and rectocele manage to live with this? I worry I won't reverse these new levels? The only amusing thing is that my little boy seems to be enjoying me being on all 4's and keeps jumping on my back shouting horsey!

granolamom

December 7, 2008 - 3:15pm

its the nature of the beast. two steps forward, one step back. but really, that you've been having success so soon is fantastic!
premenstrual is always a tough time. for many of us. it feels like you're back to square one, but it passes quickly enough and then things are better again.
funny you should say that it seems that those with uterine prolapse struggle and those with cystocele and rectocele manage to live with this. it seems opposite to me! that those with uterine prolapse see results sooner, while those with rectoceles seem to struggle the most. I guess its all dependent on which posts you've been reading, and through which filter (yours being someone living with uterine prolapse, mine being someone with cystocele and rectocele).
I think the truth is somewhere in between. that its so highly individual. but how long have you been at this? couple of months? I don't remember when you joined here, but it couldn't have been *too* long ago. I didn't even begin to see any change for months, and nothing significant for about a year.

so dont' throw in the towel just yet! at least wait until your period has come and gone

oscar2007

December 7, 2008 - 3:36pm

thank you for giving me another perspective! I think it's been a difficult week just wish my period would come! If it had been on time think I'd be flying now, must be the stress of it all! I've been at this 7 weeks, hardly anytime when you come to think! The worst is my vagina walls seem to be collapsing they are sagging terribly and it's freaking me out! Also can fire breathing affect periods? I think it's most likely to be stress and my slightly out of whack hormones!

granolamom

December 7, 2008 - 10:09pm

I don't think firebreathing affects periods (but you shouldn't do the firebreathing during your period).
but I really dont' know, since I've never been regular and I've been pg and/or bf for the past 10.5 years.

kaismom

December 8, 2008 - 6:45am

that those with rectocele struggled the most. I have all three and my uterine prolapse bothers me the least and my rectocele the most. It may be because my rectocele and bladder are holding my cervix from falling all of the way. Most days my rectocele is fully falling out by evening. I am learning to make peace with it. Granolamom is right. It is definitely two steps forward, one step back. Just when I think I can live with this and it's not so bad I will have a horrible day. Then I try to nurse the baby laying down and tell myself tomorrow will be better. My greatest sadness comes from feeling like I won't be able to do all the fun things with this baby that I did 10 years ago with my son. Some days I feel like half a mom.

oscar2007

December 8, 2008 - 8:06am

I feel upset for those of you with bad rectoceles now, your struggling sounds far worse than dealing with UP. Maybe the issue with uterine prolapse is more psychological, i think the worst is that we want another baby and i fear going into pregnancy knowing what i know and expecting a hard first trimester. I had a bad first trimester with my first baby i had a haemotoma and heavy bleeding and worried my way through and then got PND, i promised myself it would be different with the next pregnancy and now this happens! i was reading mumwithone's posts but they stop when she has her baby, i though she might have become mumwithtwo but can't find any posts - has she not been back around since??

granolamom

December 8, 2008 - 9:53pm

sometimes I worry about the things I can no longer do with my kids, that my younger ones are getting shortchanged. but then on the good days I can appreciate that I've learned a thing or two and so instead of getting the younger more active mom that my older ones had when they were toddlers, my younger ones can more fully benefit from the lessons I've learned.
I dont' believe that any parent is 100% of what their kids need (I had a tough childhood so maybe that's why I'm cynical but even so I doubt anyone could really be that). we don't get to choose what our parents will be able to give us, and we dont' always get to choose what we will be able to give our children. but I think that if you give what you can, with an open heart, well, that's a whole mom in my book.

not to say that there isn't a justified reason to mourn the loss - there is - only that your baby will be getting things from you that your older one didn't have. for me, once I was able to separate sadness for my kids and sadness for myself, it was easier to deal with. the kids will be ok. you, well, you might need a big {{{{HUG}}}}. but you'll be ok too.

granolamom

December 8, 2008 - 10:01pm

I don't think there is any way to measure what's worse. sometimes, what others have to deal with sounds worse to us because its unknown and sometimes our own burden seems most cumbersome.
it almost doesnt' matter, because whatever YOU are dealing with, SUCKS. well, its does right now. once you get a handle on this, you'll likely regain confidence in your uterus. I don't know what happened with your first pg, or if its likely to happen again. that's questions for the dr. but as far as UP goes, you can have more babies.
the psychological component of POP cannot be overstated. its enormous. for me, the worst symptom by far. but, for the most part, I got over that (ok, it took a while) and so can you. it takes time.

I don't recall mumwithone posting after her baby, you can try contacting her through the site, maybe she'll be able to respond to you via email.

kaismom

December 9, 2008 - 4:19am

I didn't mean to imply that rectocele actually was the worst. It just seems that way to me because it is my hardest prolapse to deal with. I think the hardest is whatever you are dealing with at the time. You are correct when you say it doesn't matter. It all sucks. The good news is we always have hope and thanks to Christine we can be proactive. I am coming out of the mourning phase and learning to accept my new body.

oscar2007

December 9, 2008 - 6:07am

Thank you for your responses, it's hard to not become lost in the fog of this! Things are improving i got my period at last ! and for the first time since having my little boy i can actually feel period pains in my stomach rather than in my bottom - whether that means things are improving muscle wise i hope so! I think being proactive is very telling there are things we can do to help this and if i can get myself back to this point after another baby then i'll live!!! thanks girls!

granolamom

December 9, 2008 - 5:51pm

sorry about that last post. this is getting to sound silly, but I didn't mean to imply that you implied rectocele was worst. (huh?)
I was responding to the post after yours (or was that the one before yours?), but when I reread it all in order, that is how it sounded.
I didn't think you were saying anything other than what you meant.
message boards can get confusing sometimes.

and...
congratulations on making it to the other side!!!!! it gets soooo much easier now.