where to start? A newbie to this world... :(

Body: 

Hi everyone,

So I'm at the start of this journey. I have recently 'discovered' a likely cystcele (awaiting dr. appointment in January) but I am fairly certain it is this. I started noticing about 6 months ago when inserting tampons that I had to give it an extra little push to get it in. And after intercouse with DH, I felt a bit raw and irritated, and sort of 'puffy'. This month I actually felt a bit of bulging down there and gulp, took a look. And I see and feel this bulge which I can push up and out of the way with my finger. But when I release it, the bulge comes back down. Now I have this ultra awareness of the 'feeling' down there and it's driving me mad. I been reading everything I can about it and found this wonderful website.

I am 34, two kids. 4 and 2 years old. My last child was 9 1/2 pounds! And with my first delivery I tore back to front quite badly, though I thought I healed o.k...

I am extremely active and in decent shape. A jogger (who recently took up running again- could I have caused the cystocele? Plus I've been doing a lot of pilates lately..), and eat well, etc. I fear that I will no longer be able to do the things I love- especially jogging and dancing, etc... I am feeling quite depressed about all of this. I have been doing kegels like crazy for the past two weeks, in desperate attempt to help.

Every once in a while I have a little bladder leakage (when I sneeze or jump or when I really have to 'go') but always have been like this, even before having kids. So I never felt like there was cause for concern, until very recently when I now feel something has drastically changed down there. *Sigh.

Sorry, but I need to vent or I'm going to lose it! I thank each and every one of you who takes the time to read this, and hopefully respond. I've been reading previous posts, and feel like there is so much understanding and support out there. But right now, I'm quite sad and worried.

Peace,

J

Time is short, but wanted to welcome you. You are one of many many young post partum mothers who come here after discovering prolapse. I came here 3 years ago post-birth of 3rd child. There is so much hope for you, friend. I was scared, like you -- out of my mind. Now, my symptoms are stable, I'm more active than ever before, and feel fabulous. There is alot you can do to heal. First, get the book. Second, Christine has an exercise dvd coming out -- get it. Now, you can do the ballet exercises from the book. Read everything you can. Look up Nauli and firebreathing on this site (search box). I've had success with gentle rebounding. I checked it all out -- Chiropractic, chinese herbs and accupuncture, alexander technique. I'd do reasearch here on pilates and yoga because some exercises aren't good for women with prolapse.

Stay and learn!

Thanks for the quick response. I certainly appreciate the welcome. I have a feeling this is just the start of a 'whole' new chapter in my health and well-being. SO much to learn, and possibly re-learn about my body. So I'll be hanging around this site, eagerly soaking up as much of the advice and information I can get. I shall order the book right away and start there. Rosewood, thanks for the tips and I appreciate hearing that you are more active than ever. Because my relationship with moving and exercising has always been by link to mental happiness and peace. It is my mood stabilizer. I have a bad day, I go for a jog and all is o.k. again. It scares me to lose this. Sure, if need be I can try and find new modes of exercise (I do have an elliptical trainer at home)... but still. Change is always scary and difficult. Thanks again. Your note helped me immensely. J

Just another quick reply to say hang in there, it will get better! it's great you found this amazing site--there is so much wisdom here, and christine's work is so amazing. i have learned so much about my body here, and about how fluid this state can be. i was a wreck when i discovered my POP's 2 years ago. Now I am able to get on with most things. I walk a lot, that is now my stress release excercise. A good brisk walk clears my mind and does my body wonders. This doesn't mean you will be immobile. I remember saying when i first had my POP's that I didn't ever think i'd hike again, play ball with my kids, or anything like that. Now I would go for a hike without giving it a second thought, crawl all over play structures with my little one, play ball, and do lots i didn't think i could ever do. i am much more mindful of my body, and look after myself more....
so take heart...and more soon!

Kiki

I'm glad it helped. Hope is the key, especially in the beginning. Yes, change is hard, and this is a BIG one. Yet, paradoxically, it can, like you said, be a beginning of a whole new thing - it's funny how hard times often open up areas of our lives. I certainly wouldn't have chosen this for myself, not in a million years, and yet, my life is better for it -- I feel healthier due to nutritional and lifestyle changes, including changes in the way and how much I exercise. You seem like just the type of person who can take this and turn in into something positive. So, perhaps because of the changes we are forced to make due to prolapse (nutrition, exercise, mentally, etc.) it enhances our future and longevity. Also, I recommend ground flax seeds everyday for keeping things flowing. Plus the immense nutritional benefits of flax. I grind them in a coffee grinder (sans coffee, of course), and put a lot on my oats or 9grain cereal in the morning. With a little warm water, because they can get dry. Also good on yogurt. I hear what you are saying about your relationship to moving and exercise -- you'll find your way with it, what's right for you. Alemama may chime in with her thoughts on exercise. You might be interested in my gentle rebounding thing, too -- if you are, search under rebound and you'll find my post on it.

I even went so far as to get a handful of digital photos of me doing active stuff- but I lost my momentum when I couldn't figure out how to link them here with out posting them to some online site- oh maybe the photo gallery.
Ya I am an exercise freak. I can't be normal if I don't get 2 or 3 miles in a day-or an hour or so of something else. I really enjoy bikram yoga- and love to go carless to the store or out for dinner. It just makes everything feel like an adventure that way.
I also like to explore the creek systems here with my kids and swimming is my fall-back. I have always been active. I blame my mother- that is how she handled my excess energy (go run around the house 10 times) when I was a child (she swears I would have been diagnosed as hyper if that diagnosis existed back then).
I have been on bed rest the last few weeks and I am going batty.
Anyway. The take home here is that I have learned what messes with my prolapse and what doesn't. I have a good relationship with my bulge and monitor it before and after exercise- that way I know if I did something stupid or not. And when I find something that really bothers it- I use a tampon as a support the next time I do that activity (if I can't avoid doing it). In every exercise I keep my body in the posture as much as possible and I do not strain-
If I run I add large arm flaps- so sure I look goofy - but I figured out that when I do that my prolapse is not bothered by the run. and the bonus is that my heart rate gets much higher that way. Nauli gave me great abs.

One really interesting thing that happened to me after I discovered my prolapse is that even though I exercised less I was dropping weight like crazy. It usually takes me a full year to lose my baby weight - but this last time it only took me 9 months and then I just kept losing. Before I got pregnant this time I weighed 20lbs less than usual (or my weight when I was 15). I really changed the way I ate- especially with the amount of fiber I ate- eating way more beans and quinoa than ever before. I have not ever been a big meat eater- but I would satisfy my hunger with a bagel and cream cheese- now I will eat a bowl of beans. I also cut out wheat- I ate oatmeal though. and rice. Anyway I felt great- didn't get sick very often- and my body felt strong and healthy. I have never cared about my weight- it has never been an issue for me- but I have to admit I enjoyed the way 20lbs less felt. I just felt lighter- all actions were easier- no knee pain or shin pain when I was running- I felt I could move better- and it was nice to save a little money on food- I refuse to eat fast food- and in a restaurant I order a salad which is so cheep.

anyway. You can do it- almost everything you did before- and you might just pick up some new stuff.

After reading all of your posts I feel as though I've just had a big hug. A much needed one too. I must get back to the family, doing Christmas eve stuff... but I would love to ask a few more questions once things settle down a bit here (lots of company!). Alemama, I welcome your thoughts on exercise. Grateful to have found this place, as this is something woman don't always openly talk about. I finally mentioned it to one of my girlfriends, and she looked so utterly grateful and I thought she was going to cry. "You have this too???!!!" For the first time she didn't feel alone. I'm sure she too will be logging on here...

Namaste, J

i am so glad you are finding the support you need here. you are right, people don't talk about this but so many women are dealing with POPs. i've been very open about it. when i was diagnosed i told pretty much everyone except perhaps some people at work. what i found was how many other women were dealing with prolapses or incontinence issues or other problems, but didn't tell anyone. since then a few other friends have been diagnosed with prolapses, and my hope is it helped them knowing i'd been through this and made dealing with it easier--unlike my first experience in dealing with this, with a doctor who said "it won't be a prolapse, you are far too young for that!" and then had a huge shock!

so i highly recommend telling others, both so friends know what we are going through and as it opens up a dialogue, should they ever need it... it also means my friends are always offering to push the buggy and carry my bags for me ;-)

how to link a photo. I thought I had it there for a second but nope.

hi there,

christine asked me to respond to this for clarification. you can put links in a post to anything that's already on the web (using discretion of course). however, if you have a photo you want to share, if it isn't on the web somewhere, there is currently no mechanism for uploading photo files directly to the forum. if you have an account at flickr.com or other picture site, you could put in a link to the photo's URL at that site.

to put in a link, you can simply type in the full URL where you want people to go (e.g. http://www.wholewoman.com), but then they have to copy the URL and paste into their browser. the URL of a photo on a photo site is likely to be quite long and complex.

a better way is to type in the HTML code to create a link. here's how to do that. here's what a link looks like in code: <a href="http://www.wholewoman.com/picture_library/nori1.jpg" target="_blank">Here's a link to my granddaughter Nori</a>. the target="_blank" opens a new window for the image so your viewer isn't taken away from the forum. here's how the link looks in actual practice: Here's a link to my granddaughter Nori

so the structure of the link is: <a href="URL" target="_blank">the text you want highlighted as a link</a>. simple enough once you get the hang of it.

Note that you must include the whole URL and it must be enclosed in quotes. the HTML code may look arcane, but once you use it once or twice you'll see it's easy. just be sure to test your link before you publish your post. computers are really fast but they are very dumb and if you leave out a quotation mark or anything else it either won't work or it will do something weird. unlikely to hurt the forum, however so don't worry about that.

hope this helps...

all the best,

lanny (DH)

I have the HTML code figured out- and I even uploaded some pictures to snap fish- and linked them here but the link only works when I am logged on to snap fish-
I guess I will try it on flicker
any hope of getting our wholewoman photo gallery up?

sorry, i didn't think about the log in issues with online galleries.

i'm doing some research on a platform that would be suitable for the whole woman gallery. i've looked into this in the past, but with the growth of social networking platforms there should be something suitable available now. stay tuned...

all the best,

lanny (DH)