thoughts on weaning?

go on for years that is.

I have been in that situation before- and just been DONE- and the nursling seeing no end in site.
What helps greatly is to first think of weaning on a long line- the first bite of food your baby ever eats begins the weaning process.
Then the next step is to night wean. We have always (3 times now) done daddy assisted night weaning. We talk about it during the day- when we are nursing- that mommy milk goes to sleep at night with mommy and that when it is dark outside it isn't nursing time- etc....
We let the nurser know that at night daddy will be there to get a quick snack or drink or rock and snuggle- but that mommy is going to sleep. With our first child this was a drastic change since I always did the night time parenting- but with the second child it was much more gradual because daddy did much of the night time parenting as well.
Ok once you get the night weaning done you may not feel the need to wean during the day- but you may- for me it was enough for many months.
My third child was fine to night wean as long as he could just put his hand on the boob-he would go right back to sleep- so I didn't need daddy's help very much.
It is sad for the child to not have that comfort at night- and they will cry- I felt much better to have daddy loving them through the sadness though-
For us the sadness is pretty short lived- 10 min each waking and for a week or so- then amazingly the child starts sleeping more- waking less- and when he does wake he is satisfied to just get a quick snuggle-
It is funny- once they are about 2 they start these really entertaining nursing behaviors (that instinctively the child knows increase milk supply) like switch nursing and twiddling- so they are getting the supply up and all you can think of is weaning-
Then when I started day weaning I used the don't ask- don't offer method (and do not sit down!)- followed by the distraction and substitution method (I want to nurse "oh man look at that butterfly- it is beautiful- lets get a snack)- followed by the 4 second rule ( ok you can nurse until I finish counting to...and then pick a number- and when you are done counting get up and make a snack)- finished up with the cut down to 3 feedings (morning noon night), 2 feedings (morning noon), 1 feeding (morning). And I could nurse for years if it is just one feeding a day.

The trick is to be very gradual with it all- take your time- respect the need of the child (and I do still see it as a need for a 2 year old-physiologically the child is still getting so many amazing benefits).

Oatmeal with honey is a great before bed snack- keeps them full through the night (8 hours).
before I stared the night weaning with my second I would nurse him at night and as soon as he seemed to be drifting into sleep I would hand him off to dad- he would fuss a small amount (1 min) and then pass out in dads arms- it helped ease him into having only daddy at night.

Also if she does not yet have her two year old molars this could be the bringing in months for those- my kids all take months to get the 2 year old molars- they come up then recede then come up only to recede again- it hurts when they are rising up and wakes them up at night (teeth grow in at night). So maybe the night nursing will slow down on it's own soon-

I feel really happy with the results of our weaning slowly- I didn't notice any behavioral disturbances throughout the process and I did gauge how it was going by daytime feelings and happiness rather than by night time sadness. If I did start weaning and saw big changes in my child that upset me I would stop right away and try again in a few weeks-

I've pretty much used all the techniques alemama does.
its incredible how once I set enough limits, I no longer felt 'done'. and that keeps changing as baby grows.
with my third, I weaned him completely once he turned three, I was done done done and he was down to once/day. but like alemama said, its a process which begins with the first taste of anything other than mama-milk.

If I remember correctly, this is your dd's first baby. so this dance of providing the baby with all her emotional needs and making sure mom's getting her emotional stores refilled is just beginning. and its HARD to know when and how to change things. if mom's feeling not good about the constant nursing, then she isn't going to be able to meet all of the baby's emotional needs in that way anymore. this doesn't mean give it up entirely, but to limit in someway, gradually, and replace the nursing with some other way of giving emotionally to the baby. this is so much easier when there's a dad around to take over nighttime waking (what we do), if there isn't, maybe keeping the nighttime for now and reducing day time might work better. the main thing to keep in mind, is that mom's got to mean it.
if she isn't 100% certain this is the right thing to do, baby will sense that and mom will end up breaking down and giving in.

if she's getting too thin, then there's only one thing to do, bake some brownies. chocolate chip cookies work too.

Here's a few books that might be helpful to your daughter in her process:

Mothering your Nursing Toddler (which includes weaning, i think)
Weaning Gently with Love (it's a LLL book, and title might not be totally correct)
Nighttime Parenting by Dr. Gordon, I think

Here's a couple of thoughts. It's a relationship; I certainly agree that nursing has to work for mom and baby. And, the likelihood is that your granddaughter could wean on her own from night nursings very soon -- I found it happened with our kids naturally between 2 and 3. I personally believe there are amazing benefits from nighttime parenting that carry on into older childhood. Sometimes its just a matter of making a little adjustment so that mom can take care of herself a little better. Can she add a nap during the day, perhaps? On the weekend, stay in bed a little longer? How often is your gd waking at night? Perhaps its the number of times that can be gradually decreased as opposed to weaning altogether. I think 2 year olds still have intense needs for mommy, and are about to catapult into huge developmental strides -- they're letting go of babyhood -- so that the connection of nursing to mommy can actually be a "need" -- it's not just about the milk. And, I think that nighttime parenting carries lasting emotional benefits that actually carryover into the rest of childhood -- can't quite explain it -- it's easy to think that all the giving isn't producing anything, but what it's imprinting into the child is an investment that pays off. So, I'd be wary of weaning suddenly, which has already been said; and what I have to add is that it's not at all unusual for a 2 year old to still want to nurse, day and night (except in western culture), and that there are great future benefits for parents to derive by continuing to meet baby's needs, within reason, of course. With our 3 children, we forced it a bit at 2 with our first -- partly due to my fear that she'd never wean! With our second and 3rd, I was much less concerned about the night waking, and in retrospect, wouldn't have been as concerned with the first, if I knew then what I know now.

this comes at a poignant time for me as i've decided to wean our 2 year old. he hasn't fed during the day in ages (too busy!), and i night weaned a few months ago as i was just too exhausted (wby then he could understand when he wpoke about it, and i explained that at night we could have a cuddle and pat pat, but no "nana"). that made a huge difference, as now he only wakes perhaps 1x a night, and it's much shorter to cuddle and pat, and he falls back to sleep quickly. and he didn't seem terribly upset by it.

but alas, even with that, i'm reaching my end. it's hard as my first fed till he self weaned just before he was three (though i was ready to stop when he was two), and i feel i should do the same. but this time i just really don't feel i can keep going (guilt guilt guilt!).
as it's just bedtime now, it makes it easier (i hope) but i too will be relying on daddy to cuddle and calm him till we adapt.

it is a hard transition, but i hope we'll be okay through it. it's no good feeding if you really don't want to, and i'd rather we end our day with loving cuddles we both enoy. i think mummy milk is valuable on so many levels, but hope we'll find cuddles and love a good replacement...

not sure this helps but my thoughts...

With my first, she was about 2, and I was trying to get pregnant again. I surmised that nursing was keeping me from ovulating so decided to wean pretty abruptly. We went on a week sailing vacation and I weaned her over that week. The good thing was that my husband and I, and her, the three of us, were all alone on the boat together. It was an intimate setting, and a familiar one (it was our boat); she had both of us to herself and lots of fun during the day sailing with mommy and daddy. At night when she wanted to nurse and I said "no" she got upset, but I lay with her in her bunk until she went to sleep. There were some traumatic moments, but in the grand scheme of things, it wasn't that big a deal. By the end of the vacation it was all over with and she seemed to have forgotten about nursing. She's grown now and none the worse for wear - never became a drug dealer or a psychopath so I don't think the emotional damage was too much.

The second one, ha ha, you're all going to think I'm an atrocious mother. I gave her bottles of chocolate milk. She thought that was a grand substitute for nursing. BUT!!! Just as soon as she'd forgotten the breast I stopped the chocolate milk, or rather, relegated it to just a once-in-a-great-while treat. It only took a few days, and I would never let a kid regularly drink ANYTHING out of a bottle except water, because of the teeth rot. She's grown too and is happy and well adjusted also - never a cavity.

So the second was completely painless. Hey.... they've proved now that chocolate is GOOD for you.

In the final analysis, I really don't think how you wean matters much. The important thing is THAT YOU NURSED in the first place!

there is no guarantee that night weaning will lead to less night waking.
three of my four children continued to wake at night -just as frequently- after they were no longer nursing at night. only change for me was that instead of my going to them to nurse them back to sleep, dh went in to give a cuddle or a sip of water.