Do you tell people about your prolapse??

I tell a select few. If you feel you can't help carry furniture or something, or do the marathon, then for general purposes, you could just say you have a "hernia" and leave it at that. It's sort of true enough. Most people won't pry further but if they do, say something vague about lower abdomen. That should satisfy just about anybody without you having to reveal that your genitals are involved. I do not feel comfortable telling most people because I then imagine them picturing my reproductive organs falling out my vagina and I just don't want most people to have that image every time they see me. But once in a while I feel comfortable talking about it to a female friend.

Unfortunately, this reluctance to discuss it openly probably contributes to the general lack of knowledge and information on the subject. For that reason, I have told my daughters about it and eventually I'll probably buy them each a copy of Christine's book, just to head off ANY chance that they will jump to surgery if ever told by a doctor they have this condition. I also hold nothing back from my doctors. But otherwise, I feel under no obligation to blab this stuff to anybody else; it is a private matter - people are not owed an explanation.

I changed the way I ate. That was noticed by many friends and so I explained why. It helps that my friends are moms- and they are very interested- and often come and read here and do the self exam-and they learn something. My sisters know and my mother- one day my daughter will too-
I might tell a complete stranger if she is asking all the right questions-or makes a vague reference to childbirth and "things not being the same" or some other such thing-
I always take help when offered- at the grocery store for example.
And I ask for help when I need it and have not had to explain why I need it- I just look a little helpless and that seems to work.
If someone asks me to help them lift something heavy or carry something a long distance I offer to find someone to help- that does the trick-
some months ago a very pregnant friend of mine was bringing in a cooler full of eggs- I took it from her with out even one thought- clearly she should not be hoisting a heavy cooler.
I share my knowledge with pregnant women I know and some I don't know-if they choose to share their birth plans with me.
I shared over thanksgiving with an aunt who was talking about her surgery that she had scheduled- and her symptoms- I send her the link to here and also sent her general information in case she didn't want to come search here- She still went forward with the surgery- so that makes me bummed.
I guess I will share with anyone who is female-
I am less comfortable sharing with men- so unless they are proposing the surgical cure I don't really get chatty about it with them.

I've come to the probably extreme conclusion that "freebirthing" is the only way to avoid episiotomy and subsequent prolapse risk but I realize that's a bit out in left field. But I always love to hear when people are home birthing, just like I love to hear homeschooling. Institutionalized anything tends to grate me.

Luvmiboyz- rent this movie and see if he will watch it with you- make popcorn. I watched a dad's perspective after watching the movie and it was really neat- they did a before and after video-where he shared his feelings about birth- and he was sincerely considering ideas he had shot down before watching it- I found that video on youtube."

oh and for fun you guys could rent "orgasmic birth" it is pretty eye opening too.

I hear ya luvmiboyz. I would never give birth in a hospital again either. Makes you wonder how the human species ever managed to survive back when woman actually gave birth like nature intended; to watch the health channel these days - when every birth parades down the assembly line of drugs, needles, monitors, interference, extractors, and a good third of the time, a C-section - you'd think a human female is incapable of pushing out a baby without a team of medical specialists running the whole show.

i'm very open with other women. i was such a wreck when this first happened i figured people should know why. so pretty much every women i was around knew, and quite a few of their husbands. what i found was a lot shared stuff back about things "not being quite right," about leaking, that kind of stuff. they seemed relieved to share. i wrote an article for a newsletter, and other people send people my way if they find they have POP. so personally, i think it's good to get people talking. the more we talk, the more other people know they are not alone.

For people i don't want to know i say i have a bad back. that sorts it. i can't lift because of my back, end of story. no one pushes it.

On homebirthing, Ina May Gaskins' descriptions on the sphincter law of birthing certainly came true for me -- failure to progress in hospital birth and resulting pitocin (no epidural or anesthesia though!!), then 2 homebirths -- remove the fear producing unknowns, and everything just went like clockwork. It's all about opening -- couldn't open under all those bright lights. Instincts shut down. And, my mom had an orgasmic birth, and after reading Grantly Dick Read's Childbirth Without Fear, I had hopes of one; alas, didn't have a painless one either, although, now, 3.5 years later, I can almost accurately refer to it as "intense" as opposed to painful. And, AnneH, I kwym re: institutionalized stuff -- we homeschool too.

Finally, on telling people -- my dd and I have this running evening laughter thing where when I lay down to put her to bed, she wants to talk (joke) about who I would tell about my prolapse (like, the 60 yr. old former James Dean lookalike down the street with the cigarette hanging out of his mouth named Guido). We always find someone to "tell" (who we'd never tell) and she gets a big laugh out of it. I wouldn't have done that in the early days, but 3 years later, I've grieved and sometimes can laugh about it.

I think about those bright lights every time I watch one of those shows (it seems you can watch a birth every 5 minutes now on the Discovery Health Channel) and every time a newborn comes out he looks so PISSED OFF. I can't help but think he's like "What are these bright lights in my eyes and all this noise?! And they're sticking a plastic thing in my mouth and throwing me around like a rag doll and cutting my cord immediately...." Don't these people ever consider it from the BABY's point of view?? They lie him on his back facing the ceiling - DUH.... bright lights!! And everybody's squealing at him "Happy Birthday" and all this garbage, the noise! Sheesh. Come on folks, common sense...the kid has working eyes and ears, you're overwhelming him.

We had a pregnant cat when I was a kid and she chose the very back of a dark closet to give birth - all alone. My instincts in the hospital for both my births were to hide alone in the bathroom (one of mine came on the bathroom floor). Mother nature tells you what is best; to have a circus going on around you is not right and certainly not natural.

that the doc let you deliver your own baby -- yea! and, i totally agree about the bright lights. wish i had known about sphincter law before first baby -- makes so much sense that so many women in hospital are failure to progress with all the fear, strangers, pressure, etc. that is sometimes there. and as for the orgasmic birth, that may be one experience in life that simply eludes some of us, myself included. But, am happy to have had the experience of being fully present and seeing what my body heart soul and mind are capable of doing. it's truly empowering.

Now see.... I have a problem with the whole concept of a doctor "letting" you deliver your own baby. I prefer to think of it as ME "letting" the doctor hang about in case something goes really wrong, but the world is upside down nowadays; lawyers and institutions enslave us to their protocol.