frustrated & getting worse

Body: 

hi. i first posted at 3 weeks pp, with terrible rectocele/BM issues. now i'm 11 weeks pp, and all those problems have improved dramatically. but just as i was starting to feel much better, physically and emotionally, my cystocele seems to be getting radically worse. in the mornings i feel fine, but by early afternoon, the bulge gets bigger and by evening it's so uncomfortable i feel like crying.

i thought i was doing everything "right" -- i've lost most of my pregnancy weight (and i'm pretty slim), i eat well, i work on my posture, i wear loose clothing. i even carry my baby less as he sleeps in bed much more for daytime naps. i had enough energy to start exercising (brisk walking) and some yoga inversions, but now i'm afraid to do anything.

my question is: will it ever get better, or will it continue to get worse even when i think i'm being so pro-active? i don't have incontinence, but i feel like i have to pee a lot by evening as my bladder doesn't fully empty. and the bulge discomfort is such that i'm afraid how much worse it can get. this is my third and last baby, and i'm overwhelmingly in love with him, but it's hard for me not to get depressed over the state of my organs.

HI Honeydew,
I am so sorry you are having a rough time. It's great that your rect is improving so much. That may well be the reason your Cyst is getting worse. AS one moves back the other gets space to fall. I too had that, but in the reverse order.
Keep faith, because ultimately the posture will help your cyst. it just takes time. I didn't feel the massive healing start till about 4 / 5 months PP--bits before then, but then it really started improving. And even at 2 years on I'm still getting better--and i haven't even starting the amazing breathings!

Re peeing a lot--when you go to the bathroom, be sure you are able to empty everything--i find sticking my bum in the air and head down, then sitting down again, helps empty it better. walking can actually be brilliant and really help, but i also found late afternoon lying down for a bit if i could helpful (easier said than done with a full house!).

but hang in there--it will get better!

hi honeydew
after my last baby, everything got much worse at around 10-12 weeks pp. I believe I was at an all time low at 12 weeks pp. and then slowly, things began to get better. hang tough, and keep doing what you know to be best for your body. my baby is almost 22 months old and I'm doing really well now. pp healing really does take 2 years.

and try to figure out how to completely empty your bladder. good for prolapse and also good to prevent uti.

and I've also had the experience where one prolapse gets better only to have another take its place. its frustrating, that's for sure. but I'm hoping that in the long run I will have smaller bulges overall.

I just wanted to chime in, even if it is just to say the same thing. I have had the same experience, as I continue to eat better my rectocele seems to disappear but my bladder or uterus come down to take the space. My hope is that if I keep up with all this work eventually the other two prolapses will respond as well. I also try to stay positive, it seems like a lot of people complain that rectoceles are the most stubborn and bothersome. It may be that we are lucky ours are responding first. I have been trying to do the fire breathing and nauli, and that does really feel like it pulls things up, if only temporarily. I'm 16 weeks postpartum and still feel like it's two steps forward, and then somedays one step back. Keep on perservering!

Hi Honeydew

The other ladies are right about waiting for over a year for reversion of the body to prepregnant state.

They are also right about trying nauli and firebreathing. However, I did pick up that your bladder seems to droop more late in the day, and you are passing urine more often late in the day. This fits in with still having loose insides.

With a baby you are almost trapped out of WW posture with our lifestyle. Having a baby to look after means that you are often in nurture position. Ya know, bent from the waist over the baby (not bent at the hip joints) as if to protect him, with hunched over shoulders and arms around him, whether holding, feeding or just gazing at him. Even changing nappies makes us bend over from the waist. This tends to straighten out the lumbar curve and push everything south.

You might be able to find some different ways of doing things that normally put you in this hunched over position. You do seem very aware of the breastfeeding positions.

Here's some tips for you to try for other body tasks.

Yoga inversions. Do plenty, just a couple at a time, many times a day. When you come out of them do it slowly, uncurling life a fern frond from the sacrum upwards, finishing by opening your shoulders and chest last to straighten your thoracic spine and increase you lumbar curve, which locks the sacrum down, tilts the pelvis forward again and deflects intraabdominal forces onto the front of your lower belly instead of straight down your vagina.

Lifting baby and other weights. Always hold him close to you so you can keep your shoulders back and chest open. Don't be ridiculously obsessive about it. There is always compromise. If you think about it, baby on your chest is like being pregnant again. When lifting, keep your elbows further back than your shoulders if you can, when lifting anything of weight, whether it be a kettle, baby, shopping etc. Shift your body around if necessary to get your elbow further back than your shoulder. This is like lifting freight with a forklift instead of an overhanging crane. It keeps your centre of gravity over your sacrum instead of out the front fo your body. This means your body is more stable. You don't have to engage load shifting muscles, which will produce more intraabdominal forces, eg engaging all your abs to corset your back, which squashes your abdominal and pelvic contents. If you cannot lift it with with elbows well back, it is too heavy for you for now. Get it on a trolley and wheel it, or wait for help, or put the task off for a few months until your insides are a bit more stable. Be careful where you put things down, so they are positioned where you can lift them efficiently. Why do we always want things done *now*??? Why do we always think we *should* be able to do it???

Changing nappies. So often we bend over the baby to do this. I found that a simple folding change table with a dining chair (or better still a stool of similar height) at one end worked well for me. I could get my legs in underneath it. Pull the stool in close to the change table and straddle it. Straddle the crossed over legs of the changetable with your legs. Baby will be just above waist high and so close to you that you won't have to stretch your arms out. When you have finished, slide him towards you with his legs apart, onto your chest, then rise using your thigh muscles.

Changing nappies, alternative. Do it on the floor, kneeling with knees spread, and put baby on the floor between your knees. This way you can bend with lumbar curve intact. Or kneel by a bed with baby on the bed, so you don't bend over at all. Lift him while kneeling, then stand using thigh muscles.

My lower back gave me a lot of trouble with all my babies. These techniques helped to prevent it.

Learning to empty your bladder properly is critical. I use a variation of the 'sit again' technique, where I 'half sit' again with my butt out and belly relaxed, then brace my transverse abdominus muscles and obliques as if I am going to lift a heavy weight. (Don't engage the rectus abdomiunus. These are the muscles that push the bladder and uterus back where you don't want them.) This gives a little squeeze to get that last bit out. Give it a couple of little squeezes. Also remember you can try the urinating while on all fours technique. However you choose to do it the aim is to move the bladder forward so the opening of the bladder into the urethra is a straight line, not with a kink.

I have a suspicion that your bladder may be low in the afternoons just cos it is pushed down and back during the day so much. Maybe you just have to pee more cos your bladder is feeling irritated by being squashed down all the time. I have a feeling that a fuller bladder is more stable than an empty one. Visualise a balloon. It is probably good bladder training for you to try and hold a half full bladder, even if your bladder is telling you to empty. It will also act as a pessary and stop its own descent if it has some urine in it. cos it is a lump when full, but just a floppy bag when empty. Sometimes a person's bladder gets the signals mixed and thinks it needs emptying when there is little urine in it. A continence clinic can help you to retrain your bladder.

My golden rule for wees and poos is to hang on when my bladder is full, but to use the toilet asap if my bowel is telling me to empty it. The other half of that rule is to empty my bladder properly each time, if possible. You probably already know that residual urine in the bladder can result in bladder infections. Who needs that?

I'll write more later. DD and boyfriend have just cut up a yummy body of lamb and I have to go pack it in the freezer.

Cheers

Louise

ps I have just done a few additions to the above post. The lamb is now safely in the freezer. Roll on tonight's dinner. DD's boyfriend is turning out to be quite a cook! Not bad for a farmer, eh?

thanks kiki, granolamom & louise: i am making a concerted effort to apply your techniques to emptying my bladder, in hopes that they help. it helps already just to know that perhaps things won't endlessly get worse (i.e. perhaps my bladder won't actually fall out of my body), and perhaps i'm just hitting a low point. i was so focused on my rectocele that i was ignoring my bladder.

louise, what you suggest about intentionally not emptying my bladder so often is very interesting. it never occurred to me that i might be making things worse by running to the bathroom every half hour (in the afternoons). i was worrying that the more pee i'm holding in, the more it might be making things sag. but it's possible that i may have been exacerbating the problem instead.

and with the lifting, i'm being careful but... with my baby getting heavier every day i certainly feel more and more strain on my abs.

i guess it's hard to be patient with your postpartum body, especially when the rest of the world treats it like everything should long be back to normal.

The concept of 'prolapse for life' is indeed a bitter pill. It is kinda like finding out that Father Christmas, the jolly fat man, doesn't actually seive himself down the flue by magic. (Hope no believers are reading this.)

However, it has had its upside for me. I have become much more aware of the meaning of femaleness, in spite of having three babies. It has given my sexuality new meaning as I front up to the gate of menopauseland, and I realise that I am still female and will always be. I have realised how amazing my body is, and I can now enjoy it, all of it. It was like finding gold when I found Wholewoman, nearly five years ago, just before my first (and last) gyn appointment. I have now made friends with my pelvic organs. They are now fundamental parts of my day. I am no longer a slave to taming my belly. I now wear my body with pride and joy.

I have just received my DVD. There is a little segment on the DVD about lifting babies. I think you just have to engage your brain and work out what works best for you.

Just be patient. It won't always be like this.

Louise

My 3rd and last baby is now 2 years old. When I first had her I couldn't even pee straight. I was like you- it got worse threw the day. I found some relief with sitting, but not much. My midwife gave me some wonderful advice that has helped a LOT! She said to do excercises to creat a "sling" for your insides. One excercise just wont cut it. You need to work your butt, rectum, abs (upper and lower), vagina. . . you get the idea. All those muscles need to be strengthed to make that sling. Now, 2 years later, I am much improved. I now only notice my prolapse when I menstruate. Another tip my midwife gave me was to wear tampons-- even if I needed 2 supers at the same time-- to keep things in place as a short term fix. (that sounded easier to me than a pessary) When I menstruate it is impossible for me to do keagles because my organs are in the way, but I have learned to work on those during the rest of the month. Do what you can when you can and it will improve. I felt more pressure when I wore tampons and considered not wearing them, but my midwife said the pressure I was feeling was the full uterus pushing on the tampon. It felt weird, but at least it was the tampon I was feeling in my vagina instead of my uterus! And I know its hard to feel sexy, but having sex does help things to slide back to where they are supposed to be! Some women feel pain during intercourse, luckily I don't and it really helps. At the very least if will give you some comfort to be with your man! Don't beat yourself up-- you will improve. Good luck! Oh- and if you aren't getting the support you need from your current healthcare provider, GET A NEW ONE! There are good proffessionals out there!

Hi Elfear

Welcome. Good to hear that you have taken a positive approach by your own research and questioning. Have a look at Christine's blog, topic "Kegels the Right Way". You might be able to improve your technique further.

There are a lot of muscles in the pelvic area which connect the sacrum, lower spine, coccyx and femur. These are the muscles that are important for maintaining the posture we advocate. Not saying you are wrong, but your story is not the whole story. WW posture will give you some extra help before and during periods. That seems to the the time when they will play up if they are going to. WW posture may not give you complete relief at that time, but I have certainly found that it helps reduce that pressure and pain.

I am so glad you have found Wholewoman. Every woman needs to know about this site, because prolapses can change after a period of time and it helps me to know how other women have responded to changes in their prolapses. Also we often have temporary setbacks when we overdo things or some other factor comes into play. It is helpful to have other women to refer to, and to be reassured that the symptoms will improve again if we take the right action. Often it is just finding a new way to do a task that we frequently, or just easing up for a few days.

Cheers

Louise