This and That

Body: 

So today I cleaned my apartment top to bottom, did the Whole Woman workout, two loads of laundry, and walked 30 minutes while wearing my baby. I made sure to take a nice lie-down in the afternoon, but I have to say I feel pretty good. No smaller, but no bigger, either. This evening we had an open house (selling the place). Maybe my belly was "extra proud" in response to my active day, but one woman actually asked if I was expecting. UGGGG! I was kind of shocked and didn't know what to say. I just made a joke about post-baby belly, but I wanted to scream, "I have a prolapse, you stupid cow, and this helps me not see a big depressing bulge!" Maybe I'm exaggerating it more than necessary as I am just learning? Whatever. If I can make it through my end of the day shower with the bulge looking a certain way, I feel over the moon.

As I approach four months pp, I am starting to have some anxiety over time itself. What I mean by this is that I am looking forward to the months when many say they experienced their most dramatic healing, but it also is worrisome to be not so newly postpartum with "time to heal." Does that make sense? Sorry, I tend to use this forum as a personal journal of sorts when I should probably just get myself a journal, lol!

Many positive thoughts to all.

Hi Bad_Mirror

Wow! What a big day. I don't know how you respond to comments like this. I suspect that you still feel a little selfconscious about your belly. You don't have to explain it to anybody. If you do, it is usually TMI anyway. If you just say, "No I am not expecting", that would probably stop her in her tracks and make her feel uncomfortable as a potential buyer. Very difficult situation when you want her to feel comfortable about invading the home of another woman.

Try and let it wash over you. It was probably just thoughtlessness on her part. There is no way I would ask a woman if she was expecting a baby. There are too many other less joyful reasons for a larger than normal belly! Too many ways you can embarrass either party! Don't take it personally. Those first few months can be a trial when you still look half-pregnant. Every morning you wake up and it is still there. It really does take time to get a waist back. It is just another part of taking over 12 months.

You know what really p***es me off. All those stupid women's magazines with articles about Yummy Mummies. How stupid and pointless it all is. All these women who have starved and worked out all through pregnancy with their personal trainers, then have nannies, housekeepers and personal trainers again after the birth, then diet themselves stupid, and miraculously come out four months later, ready for a front page shoot. Talk about misplaced priorities!

Just be yourself, and do what you have to do. Hope the apartment sells quickly so you can ease up a bit on the domestic slavery. It's fine to journal this stuff here. It will be interesting for you to reflect on it in twelve months' time.

Louise

In fact, I never stopped to put it into words, but I think I feel the same way. For a while I looked forward to hitting that 3 month mark when a lot of people say they hit their lowest point. And now, on the other side, I start to worry because I'm past that point. And I have already seen improvement, but now I seem to be holding steady. And I'm afraid that it just won't get better than this. Oh, and I also had someone (someone I actually know!!!) refer to me as a "pregnant lady" last night. I came home and told my husband, and I had thought my stomach was FINALLY starting to look better. I still have about 10-15 pp pounds to lose, but I seem to be carrying them all in my stomach. I hate it. Keep journaling on here, your voicing feelings many of us have I'm sure.

my belly looks much bigger than it did a month ago -- probably because i'm working on the posture. (and the rest of me has lost weight, so it must look like it protrudes even more!) yesterday someone asked me if we were planning on more children, and i'm afraid that might have been a "diplomatic" way of asking if i was expecting again...

Here is how my prolapse improved.

Before I say anything you have to know that I had the worst kind of birth (forceps, amazing tear from cervix to anus) and this was my second birth, the first being an emergency C-section. And I have always had very bad posture. So I started my prolapse journey really bad. I have all three prolapses.

I started the posture 4 months pp.

My prolapse was getting worse until about 6 months after birth. One of the reasons for this might have been the Kegelmaster. I think that it is a great thing if things are stable inside - but if something is hanging by a thread it will come down.

At 8 months I have had a huge improvement in terms of things tightening up. At 14 months I had another huge improvement as my cervix lifted up.

And even though there have not been other great jumps I know that I am still improving. At 14 months I still had a third of my days with some symptoms, now I am 95% symptom free. My baby is 28 months old.

And I have not given up getting even better :-)

And I do absolutely everything I want. Most importantly, I lift my children a lot - only with the posture in mind. At 6 months pp I had difficulty sitting...

Although for you it is hard to swallow now: it does take a long time. But you can be 100% sure that a few years on you will rarely be thinking about your prolapses.

Love,Reka

When I got the belly comment (when are you due etc...) I would say "oh I have a 4 month old baby at home so probably not anytime soon :):)
and if it was a semi-private setting (the cashier behind the counter) I would go on to say- "actually I could suck this all in and no one would be the wiser- however I am practicing something called wholewoman posture where I allow my uterus to be supported by my pubic bone- it is wonderful for preventing uterine prolapse"- or something like that......
The only time I got any more questions after that response was from an exercise physiologist who was just genuinely interested in what in the HELL I was nattering on about. It was a tough conversation because she had such strong ideas about posture. But it let me exercise my knowledge a little.

and I totally admit to never wearing that shirt again etc... after the belly comment. I figure I can dress my belly up so that no one even thinks to notice and so far it works- Fitted A- line tops with a plunging neck lines work well for me- most people can't get past the boob- and you know when you are nursing milk boobs are serious things :)

It does take me a while to tone everything up after baby (a year or so) but after that my relaxed lower belly is a non-issue. Remember that as you relax your lower belly to pull up through the ribs- this will help make your silhouette look a little smoother.

Alemama -- I had a great laugh, because I was wearing exactly the type of shirt you suggest! I guess the nice looking boobies didn't appeal to that woman, ha! I do have pretty good self-esteem despite this ding from prolapse, and I like your approach of making such occasions an opportunity to "spread the word." I could see that it would be possible to do this without having to say outright, "I have pelvic organ prolapse." I was always taught NEVER to ask about a woman's childbearing status, so it does amaze me that some people "go there!"

Reka -- Wow. Thank you so much for the uplifting words regarding time! I really can't get enough of that sort of thing. I know I keep reading over and over here about how it does get better, but there is always that smidgen of doubt that I'll be the exception to the rule. I try to remind myself that the body always strives to have a state of homeostasis, so why wouldn't it work like mad to get everything back where it belongs?

Honeydew and BGP -- I'm glad (?) that you all are having similar thoughts/experiences. "Misery" loves company, eh? It's nice to compare notes . . .

Louiseds -- Yeah, Yummy Mummy be damned, ha!

Oh Alemema, such sound advice! I wish I had your presence of mind.

I would suggest that everybody keep a couple of bookmarks or a brochure in your bag for teachable moments like these.

Cheers

Louise