Mae's POP story

Submitted by Mae on April 1, 2009 - 4:16pm
Body: 

In honor of my First Year Anniversary as a member of Christine’s wonderful WholeWoman Forum, I thought I would post my personal story. I, like so many others, had been a lurker for years, but finally worked up the nerve to come out of the closet, so to speak, one year ago today!

I believe my Pelvic Organ Prolapse (POP) a cystocele (bladder prolapse) for the last five years, and just recently, uterine prolapse, possibly began after I birthed our first baby, although there were no noticeable symptoms then. My symptoms became somewhat apparent, I believe, sometime after our second child was born. Doctors never mentioned it, but I now know there were telltale signs, like not being able to wear a tampon. It would just push right out. I now believe my bladder had fallen, somewhat, and that was what was making that happen. When I mention that to my OB/GYN he offered no thoughts or explanation, other than to tell me I shouldn’t be having a problem using tampons. I gave up wearing tampons.

Our first child, our dear son, was born Post Mature, three and a half weeks late, weighing in at 9 pounds and 13 ½ ounces. My cervix would not soften enough to give birth on, or near, my due date, and my doctor, a very conservative man, did not want to do a C-section unless it was absolutely necessary. I had our baby with drugs that made me forget all about his birth, which I now totally regret. Ahh..if I only knew then what I know now! But, that was the early 70’s. People were awfully quiet about childbirth and, by the way, there was no such thing as having anyone, including your husband, in the birthing room. Such a shame as I would love to have had my husband there as I gave birth to our first child!

Our second child, a daughter, was born three years later. She was induced one week early and her birth was quick and uneventful in my mind, as I had the same drugs that makes one forget. Today, I would give anything for a drug that could make me remember. She also was a big baby, weighing in at 8 pounds and 11 ounces.

Unfortunately, I did not nurse either of my babies. I was given no info and there was no encouragement from doctors or family. My mother didn’t nurse and my mother-in-law never offered advice although, I believe she did nurse. Things were different then. Sex, pregnancy and female issues were pretty much kept at bay. At least it was like that in my world. My mother would turn over in her grave if she could hear the things we discuss and say on WholeWoman. I often wonder how many women had POP back then and never discussed it with anyone except their doctor, if they even did that.

Before I reached menopause I had some months of very heavy bleeding. I could go no more than an hour, sometimes less, before having to attend to the problem. No easy task when one is teaching Kindergarten. When these monthly “periods” started dragging on for three weeks I went to my OB/GYN who determined I needed a hysterectomy. My insurance wouldn’t pay for that until I first had a D & C (Dilation and Curettage). We did the D & C and my problem was solved. No hysterectomy was necessary. I believe these things, birthing big babies and having a D & C contributed to my prolapse. I think it took many years to fully show itself but it was happening for a very long time.

Life with POP was pretty uneventful after the D & C and I reached menopause at about 54 or 55 years of age.

At 57, or 58, a few years after menopause, I was diagnosed with Pelvic Organ Prolapse. My cystocele was pretty bad, presenting itself with a vengeance. I was devastated.

So, I was faced with surgery, according to the medical profession. I needed a hysterectomy and a bladder repair, according to them. To leave my uterus and just do a bladder repair wasn’t an option because they said it would just be a matter of time before my uterus fell and I would need yet another operation.

All this lead me to doing a lot of research on the internet. I was finally taking things into my own hands.

Without having to do much research, I found this wonderful WholeWoman website. I think, over time, I have read every post ever posted. I got Christine’s book and tape. I put her techniques into practice and kept a diary of what was going on with me. That diary was especially helpful when I had bad days. It made me look at the day before and see what I did differently, such as eating, stress or physical activity that may have cause my bad day. I quickly learned what I could and could not do. Now, when I have a bad day I can tell you exactly why that is.

Today, I still have all organs intact, and am managing my prolapses. I just recently experienced uterine prolapse and while I found it quite upsetting, it wasn't long before I knew I could manage that as well.

Like everyone elseI have good and bad days. In all honesty though, they are mostly good because, as I said, I know what I can, and cannot do, to ensure having a good day. If I follow the WholeWoman techniques, I am good to go. If I get off course with food, diet and exercise, I can count on the next day being a bad day!

Cheers (as my friend in Oz would say) to my first anniversary on the Forum. I plan to be here for a long time gleaning, and hopefully adding to, all the wonderful advice and friendship that can be found here.

Mae, April 1, 2009

Connie54

April 1, 2009 - 6:14pm

Thank you for your story Mae. Being new to this, I am always curious as to what exercises you are doing, food you are eating, and what you have noticed that might be causes for a bad day. I have yet to cross the bridge to more good days than bad, right now they are all bad! Thanks again, Connie

Mae

April 2, 2009 - 3:20pm

Hi Connie,

I am so sorry to hear that all of your days are bad. Hang in there and keep trying. I just know you'll find what works best for you. Stay in posture, eat right, exercise and stay well lubricated.

I do the WholeWoman exercises in the book. My barre is the end of my peninsular kitchen counter! I also swim a lot. We live in Florida so I can pretty much do that all year. I also walk the dog at least once a day, unless it's a bad day. No fun walking when my Pop is peeking!

As far as my diet, I try to eat lots of fruits and veggies. I'm not a big fan of fruit, so it's mostly veggies. We have fish at least twice a week and the rest of the week (except Sunday) it's chicken or turkey something or other. On Sundays, we cook steak on the grill. Monday is usually not a perfect day for me because, no matter how small the steak is, meat always bothers my Pop. Any large meal will be a problem for me as well, especially if it's pasta. That doesn't mean I don't do it now and then, I do, but at least I know why I'm having a problem.

A stressful day (thank goodness I don't have many, knock wood) will set off my Pop. I think that's probably because I am not concentrating on my posture when I am upset. Stress sure can ruin a good thing!

As you probably know, I am a huge fan of mega doses of Vit. C. I take between 3,000-4,000 mgs. a day. I see great improvement with Vit. C. My Pop isn't way up high when I take it, but it keeps it from peeking and that is a God send in my opinion. I know you didn't have any luck with the Vit. C, but maybe give it another try after you've been in posture for a while and have had a chance to do a few of the other things.

I find that it's a must to stay well lubricated. When I am dry, my bladder just drops way down. I love Christine's balms and I use Replens and KY. Replens and KY have some ingredients that aren't so great, but I feel the risk of a problem from using them is very minimal and worth it to me because they help me so much.

I also have no problem with pushing my organs back in place. Sometimes my bladder, or uterus, depending on what's falling that day, will fall right back down after I push it up there, but more often than not, it stays there. I have to be sure to lubricate when doing that though, or it just doesn't work.

I am also a huge fan of baths. I find they comfort my bottom like nothing else can. I use Johnson & Johnson Head-to-toe Baby Wash to clean myself. It's so mild and never burns, even if my vagina is irritated.

That's how I manage my Pop Connie. Hope that helps and again, hang in there. You will find a way to manage yours too.

Warm regards,
~Mae

Connie54

April 2, 2009 - 4:18pm

Thank you Mae, you brought up some things I had not considered before. I am going to try the Replens and K-Y and try to eat smaller meals. Even though I don't think I have a rectocele, eating less does seem to help the cystocele a tad bit. I am still taking Vit C, but at lower amounts, I may try uping the dosage again and see what happens. This is sure trial and error in my case. Thanks again for the suggestions, Connie

Mae

April 2, 2009 - 5:27pm

You can take comfort in knowing that it is trial and error for most, if not all of us Connie. Sometimes too, something that was working might not work later down the road, and then again, you might just find something that works better than what you were doing before. It is all about trial and error and I guess it will always be, as I am sure we will never stop trying different things to better manage our prolapses.

The women on this Forum, as I'm sure you now know, are a wealth of information and compassion. You will learn much from them and make friends along the way. We have had our share of trials and errors over the past year. Sea sponges (hey Blue..where are you anyway??), Replens and much laughter about who was going to be the guinea pig for a carrot pessary! That one never got off the ground...no takers, although I think we almost had Louise!!!

My point is, try not to take it too seriously because this can be managed. Do your trial and error things and stay in contact with those of us who are in the same situation. There's much comfort in that. At least there is for me anyway!

~Mae

tinyshinythings

April 2, 2009 - 7:44pm

That ws very interestng Mae. Thanks for that. A couple of questins please? What is a barre? Any idea why the Vit C works for you? I still have my learner driver plates on when it comes to managing my POP. Thanks again. Sally

granolamom

April 2, 2009 - 8:29pm

I didn't realize its been only a year! feels like I 'know' you forever.
I'm so sorry about the way your births were stolen from you. my mom doesn't remember my birth either. damn twilight sleep. and she wanted to bf me but was told she could if she wanted but would have to stop by 6 weeks or I'd be malnourished @@
I hope you get to experience the joy of natural, active childbirth through your dd.
and thanks for the chuckle, I remember the carrot pessary idea now. hehehe, wonder why no one wanted to step up and try? in the name of science?

anyway, thanks for sharing your story and the helpful tips too.

connie - trial and error is the name of the game, because no two of us are exactly alike. I also find that heavy meals aggravate my cystocele. and it makes sense too, if you think about it. more stuff in your colon = less room for your bladder. I'm wondering if maybe that's one reason the vitc is helpful? keeps the bowels moving? though that's just speculation, I haven't tried the mega-c thing yet.

and shinythings - a barre is the bar on the wall used in ballet. 'course you can use anything, like the back of a chair or the edge of a kitchen countertop.

Mae

April 3, 2009 - 8:51pm

Hi Sally,

I am not sure why the Vitamin C works for me. Perhaps as G-Mom said, it helps to keep things moving. I read it helps in relation to collagen in our bodies which makes up all our muscles, ligaments and tendons. So, maybe it strengthens these things and that helps my prolapse to stay up higher?? Why it helps some people and not others, I do not know. It's not just the Vitamin C though, in my case. If I don't stay well lubricated, eat right, exercise and stay in posture, I do not think all the Vitamin C in the world will help.

We had quite the discussion about this a while back. I tried to Search Vitamin C here to see if I could get you there by telling you to do that, but I could not bring that particular post up. However, I did find it by doing a Search on Balride, who started the thread. Put that name (Balride) in the Search engine, then click Users, then click Balride, then click Track and then click Vitamin C and Prolapse-My Story. It's an interesting thread. There's probably an easier way to get to it, but I don't know what that would be. This worked for me.

Keep trying different things to help you manage your prolapse. I know you'll find what works best for you!

~Mae

Mae

April 3, 2009 - 8:07pm

Hi G-mom,

I know what you mean about it seeming like more than a year since I became a member. Seems that way to me as well. Talk about feeling like you've known someone forever, I really feel like I've known a lot of you forever because I lurked for so long. Took me forever to post (in denial I guess) and now I seem to have something to say about most everything! That's probably the real reason it seems like you've known me forever. Not to mention the fact that we all get pretty personal around here. Before I became a member of this wonderful group, the only people who knew me "inside" and out were my husband and gynecologist! Now, 2840 members and only God knows how many guests, have access to knowing the most intimate and personal things about me. LOL!

Not sure why we couldn't get anyone to do the carrot pessary. I guess it just seemed a little too weird, even for this adventuresome group!

As for my dd giving birth, she and her husband have invited me to be there in the birthing room with them. I don't need to tell you, I am sure, how excited I am about that. She is also planning to BF and I am so glad she made that decision. Yes, this will be quite the experience for me.

Well my two little grandsons (my ds chldren) are here for the weekend. I say little, but they are 8 and almost 11 now. They are not so little. That's why this new grandbaby is so exciting. It's like getting to start all over again. Anyway, they are getting pretty rowdy out there, so I think I need to go see what's up!

~Mae

tinyshinythings

April 4, 2009 - 2:48am

Thank you for the link Mae. I'll follow that up. I'm nothing if not doggedly determined so I'm sure I'll find my way eventually with the kind help of all you knowledable ladies. I'm certainly learning what doesn't work for me. I knew lifting was a no-no but even pushing heavy doors - or a piece of furniture without thinking - brings a growl from the POP. I guess body awareness is ultra important in this game.
Sally

louiseds

April 4, 2009 - 5:56am

Well Mae, I don't know about you, but I have other uses for carrots!

And you are so lucky, being invited into the birthing room. What a privilege! Approximately how many sleeps until blastoff?

Louise

louiseds

April 4, 2009 - 6:00am

Strictly hip and shoulder for me these days! For furniture, I often back up to it with my back flat against it and my feet some distance away and push it backwards. Then you can use your thigh muscles. Or if it is low furniture (or a lawnmower), push it forwards with it leaning against your pelvis, at hip joint level.

Louise

Mae

April 4, 2009 - 12:47pm

Hi Louise,

I remember all the uses (or would that be excuses??) you had for carrots! For sure a pessary wasn't among them!!!

DD has 37 nights of slumber left, if she gives birth on her due date. She's hoping it will be a little less, however, we all know how that usually goes with a first baby. Maybe she'll get lucky.

Our 8 and almost 11 year old grandsons are visiting this weekend. I was thinking how much easier it's gotten to have them here than it was when they were younger. Gotta get myself prepared, mentally and physically, for that new little guy. Babies are a lot of work, but are so worth it! Hope DD thinks so and tries for one more. Might finally get a girl next go around. That's me..always planning ahead! lol!

~Mae

granolamom

April 5, 2009 - 1:22pm

I cannot think of a greater honor or more precious gift than being invited to the birth of your grandson. you must've done good by your dd to have developed such a relationship. heaven knows the LAST person I'd want around for my birth is my mom.
make sure you've got plenty of kleenex on hand, I'm gonna cry just thinking about you laying eyes on that sweet baby and your little girl-turned mama.

well, I hope she can enjoy the rest of her pg, can't wait to hear the birth story!

Mae

April 5, 2009 - 9:06pm

I cried a river of tears reading your response G-mom and will respond later, when I have it all together. Life is so bitter, sweet and complicated..isn't it?

Love,
~Mae

Mae

April 6, 2009 - 2:01pm

Thanks for the compliment about my relationship with my dd. It truly brought me to tears as I did not have a relationship with my mother like my daughter and I have. Like you, my mother was the last person I would have wanted in my birthing room. I was determined that my children were going to have a different kind of growing up than I did. It worked and I feel most blessed.

Keep you fingers crossed for me that this baby doesn't come early. We are going away for a long weekend this weekend to celebate my birthday, which really isn't until the first week in May. Since our dd's due date is May 12 we thought we'd do this early, although I wasn't overly concerned about it since most first babies are usually late not early. However, lately I've spoken to a number of people who have had, or know someone who has had, their first baby quite early. I am tempted to cancel our plans, but that would involve losing a fairly hefty deposit. Guess we'll just go and hope the baby hangs tight over the weekend! I sure don't want to miss his arrival.

~Mae

granolamom

April 8, 2009 - 9:12am

enjoy your weekend, dont' worry, the baby's not going to come a month early.

and sorry I made you cry, but I love your story. I love hearing how people heal their histories and create a better future. you inspire me, mae. I'm so glad our paths have crossed

mumtogirlslondon

April 8, 2009 - 4:11pm

Hi there ladies and especially Mae

I'm a newbie to the site so I do hope you don't mind me breaking into your exchange, but I was really touched to read about how you're going to be at your daughter's delivery, and just wanted to let you know that I had my (truly wonderful) mum alongside my husband at both my deliveries (most recent 10weeks ago) and it was an amazingly strengthening thing to have her beside me. She made me feel so loved and supported, and kept telling me how proud she was of me - even as I was puffing and panting on all fours with my bottom in the air..!

I know how much it meant to her to be part of it, because she told me how thrilled she was to be there.

But I truly feel the priviledge was mine.

Granolamom is absolutely right that the fact your daughter wants you there speaks volumes about how much she loves and respects you. (and reading your posts has reminded me I should ring my mum straightaway and tell her how great she is!)

Wishing you all a healthy, happy and truly magical experience.

Mumtogirls London

PS Granolamom - I have taken a lot of support from reading your various posts and comments int eh forums, as I've been trying to come to terms with/take control of, the nasty rectocele that accompanied arrival of my second daughter 10 weeks ago. many thanks for all the advice and ideas you share - you've been an inspiration to this pp prolapsee!

Mae

April 13, 2009 - 3:11pm

DD held out while we were away for the weekend, but she started talking to the baby and telling him it is alright with her if he makes his appearance a little early now that Grandma & Poppi are back! She is so anxious to have this baby! Her doctor says the baby is in position and it could happen soon. We'll just have to wait and see.

"Heal their history and create a better future." I like that G-mom! That's exactly what I think I did. I think adversity brings out the worst, or the best, in us as far as how we are able to cope. I was one of the lucky ones, with, I believe, strong character, conviction and last, but in no way least, the good fortune of meeting a wonderful guy (he was 19, I was 16) with the same goals and ideals. Unfortunately, (and too close to home for me as I think about my two sisters), it doesn't work that way for everyone.

Thanks for the compliment about inspiring you. The feeling is definitely mutual. I've learned so much from you!

I'll keep you posted about DD's progress. If she has her way about it, you'll be hearing from me soon!

~Mae

Mae

April 13, 2009 - 2:46pm

Thank you Mumtogirls London! I really appreciate hearing your story. I am hoping I can be as supportive to our dd as your mum seems to have been for you.

I am sure your mum was absolutely thilled to be there when her grandchildren were born. I'm sure too, she was very happy to be there "helping" you through it all. Yes, do call your mum and tell her how great she is. Mom's can never get enough of that!

I hope you are doing better with your prolapse. I was just reading your posts. It is still early for you and you have lots of time to heal. Stay in posture, eat right and try to rest whenever possible. Keep reading and posting here. These ladies are a wealth of knowledge and are the most compassionate people you'll ever find.

Enjoy those babies! They grow up waaaay too fast!

~Mae