Rectocele and have questions, Help!

everything is going to be wonderful. Sex is safe as safe can be- and some here (myself included) feel that is actually helps. It is a shocking thing to find a bulge in your vagina but your life is far from over. You will be able to exercise.
I limit my heavy lifting (dh just installed an awesome clothes line that runs on a pulley directly over the washer so I didn't have to carry heavy baskets), wear loose clothing, eat well (for me that means not eating meat, wheat, dairy or soy) and avoid straining against the toilet. In addition to that I move my body in the wholewoman posture throughout the day and try to get good sleep.
Use the search engine on the left side of your screen and type in "sex" or "posture" or "rectocele"

I know how you are feeling right now.

Mmmm,you're grieving, but Alemama has told you what you need to do. Surgery is a quick fix, and we all know what happens with quick fixes. Get yoor body back to its natural shape and after a while you will be amazed at how much your body can support prolapsed pelvic organs. I have just turned 56, and think my periods have stopped. I was aware that my cervix was lower than it should have been after my first birth, 26 years ago, and went on to have another two babies vaginally, this time with no episiotomies, but only some nasty marriage stress and consequent constipation brought my rectocele to the fore. That was about 5 years ago. The marriage is renewed. The sex is great and I use my brain to lift really heavy things now. I live an active life, and can really say that I do as much as other women my age. I hope to stay active and unlimited by my POPs for many years to come. I am barely aware of them most of the time. Surgery is no longer an option for me. You need to read Christine Kent's book, Saving the Whole Woman, 2nd edition to find out the full reasons for that decision.

Once you get your tears wiped, and start looking after your body to accommodate your POPs, you will hopefully start to see imrovements, but it might take a few months; rectocele being the one that seems to take the longest to improve. Once you trust your body's ability to suppport your pelvic organs you will lose the fear that you are now experiencing, as long as you don't have any other complicating factors.

Anyway, welcome to Wholewoman. You are among friends.

Cheers

Louise

two days isn't enough time to get "all" the information-but it should be enough. This website www.wholewoman.com is devoted to non-surgical management of prolapse. before I found this site I was sure that I would have to have surgery- but once I read all the information here and in the book I knew I would not have surgery.
This is such an individual decision and one you will have to come to- but I have read that painful sex is pretty much the standard after rectocele surgery.
I was diagnosed with prolapse about 3 years years ago. I believe I have had prolapse since the birth of my first child 6 years ago. I am 29 now and 2 months postpartum with my 4th child. Before my pregnancy my prolapse had improved to the point that I couldn't even notice it. I am still healing from the birth but I believe I will recover completely. I can't imagine it getting much worse as I age- but I am also not too worried about it- I will deal with that when I get there-
as for diet- I have never had constipation but I decided to try not eating those things to see if it would help anyway and found that when my stool was light weight my rectocele bulged less-

Four years ago I learned about pelvic prolapse the way most of us who come to this site did--my insides were fallilng out and I was terrified!!! Four years later, I still have prolapse but it is no longer the "big deal" it was then. Thanks to Christine's persistence and knowledge this forum and her books have comforted and encouraged so many women, including me. It has been a long time since I last posted on here and that is more a reflection on how life has continued for me with my prolapse part of it. Sure there are days even now when I wish it would completely go away--don't we all? Learn all you can. I have learned not to listen to my doctor when he thinks I'm crazy not to have something done surgically. "Educating" him is not an option but my living example of how it is possible to do quite well with prolapse speaks louder than my words in this case. I am glad you turned to this forum for support and encouragement!

hi & welcome to the forums, though I'm sorry you had need to seek us out.
I don't really have much of a rectocele, but thought I'd let you know that my cystocele has indeed gotten smaller from using the techniques from the book. while it doesn't look 'back to normal' and likely never will after having a bunch of kids, I am back to normal. meaning I rarely feel any symptoms and even when I do it is extremely mild. I am back to normal activities, I do whatever I feel like doing without giving thought to the prolapse.
so there is plenty of reason to hold on to hope.
stick around, the women here are tremendously supportive and will help you get through this.

POP = Pelvic Organ Prolapse

Hi Bluewendybee

Mine doesn't get smaller, but it doesn't get bigger either. It appears less often as you become more able to look after it. My rectocele disappears for weeks at a time, only reappearing when I have had a bout of worry = constipation, or dehydration. Alemama's comments about keeping the bowel contents light and not too dense and dry is spot on. The rectocele does sometimes get quite big if it reappears, but it has been doing this now for several years and I have come to trust it to recover each time. Sometimes it is only quite small. Sure enough, once I realise it is there, take dietary or other action to resolve the constipation and/or the stresses that have caused it, the rectocele disappears again, as if by magic. Rebuilding trust in your body is a really important part of living with POP, but first you need to grieve, then move on and decide to live as well as you can. You will have the odd setback. We all do, but you will also get the odd pleasant surprise along the way too.

Cheers

Louise

my guess is each significant other is unique, as is each relationship.
but I'll tell you about mine
mine dh is truly an awesome man, a wonderful husband, etc. really he is.
that said, he does not 'get' it sometimes. so I have stopped asking loaded questions like 'does this make me look fat?'. he says yes, and off with his head. he says no, and I think he's just saying that. what I **really** want to hear is something along the lines of 'you look hot in that'. I want to know that HE likes the way I look. but if I tell him that, then its not worth anything because then he's just saying what I told him to say. we used to go round and round with this so I jumped off that carousel and stopped expecting him to know how to respond to these things.
so back to prolapse. when I first told my dh about mine, he got this look of horror and said ..... nothing. when I pressed, he claimed never to have noticed anything different. when I complained that I was feeling tired or bulgy or 'prolapse-y' as I called it, he'd give me time and space to relax and take the kids out, clean up the house, fold the laundry, whatever, but nothing in terms of verbal support. I think the concept still (years into this) frightens him slightly and he has trouble thinking/talking about it.
in the beginning I felt pretty low about my body too. I wanted to hear that HE still found me sexy and attractive. That sex was still fantastic for him. But in the 11 years we're married I'm learning to accept that he doesn't intuitively know to speak these words, I've learned to interpret his actions and find comfort there.
I save my prolapse related vents and worries for the wonderful women on this site, who get it.
Prolapse has plenty of symptoms, I refuse to add marital discord to the list.

{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}
it gets better. really, it does.

I never had pain sitting, but reading your post, I wonder if what you feel as tail bone apin ("tearing apart") isn't muscle tightness?
I hope you aren't actually sitting ON your tailbone, because you'd have to be pretty badly slouched to do that.

what types of exercise are you accustomed to doing? usually there's a way to make almost anything prolapse-friendly. well, aside from crunches and things like that.
walking is definitely a good thing to do. swimming too.