When I first “cracked the code” on stabilizing and reversing prolapse, and wrote and published Saving the Whole Woman, I set up this forum. While I had finally gotten my own severe uterine prolapse under control with the knowledge I had gained, I didn’t actually know if I could teach other women to do for themselves what I had done for my condition.
So I just started teaching women on this forum. Within weeks, the women started writing back, “It’s working! I can feel the difference!”
From that moment on, the forum became the hub of the Whole Woman Community. Unfortunately, spammers also discovered the forum, along with the thousands of women we had been helping. The level of spamming became so intolerable and time-consuming, we regretfully took the forum down.
Technology never sleeps, however, and we have better tools today for controlling spam than we did just a few years ago. So I am very excited and pleased to bring the forum back online.
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Founder
Whole Woman
louiseds
June 16, 2009 - 5:28am
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The price you pay
Hmm, there always seems to be a price to pay for enjoying yourself. ;-)
No, maybe not, but it is another factor you have introduced into the system at a time when there was obviously some other negative thing happening.
This is your first baby, isn't it? So you don't have a history to know whether this is normal or not. I guess the dryness from low oestrogen and a bit of chafing irritation has made the tissues inflamed. If you break inflamed skin it will bleed very easily. Yes, get the Dr to check it out if you would feel happier. We are all different.
Hey, the other thing you could do is go down to the pharmacy and buy a plastic speculum, so you can have a look yourself, or get DH to take a peek. At least then he will see the sore bits and hopefully understand where you are coming from. If he can see where the sore bits are he can use his superior, male spacial intelligence to tweak his coital style to avoid pressure in these spots.
I can understand your perineum being sore. First time after a birth is often a bit hair-raising. I think it is the fear factor, as much as the physical side of it. It is kind of like you don't know what to expect of sex, all over again. BTW, doctors say people will probably have post-surgical pain for 12 months after an op. Guess what? An episiotomy is a surgical procedure, so you can expect some pain in that area for a year or so, if you work it.
You could also experiment with different positions for coitus. I always find that being the active partner works for me if/when I am a little tender. If I am moving I can more easily adjust my positioning for my own comfort. Sometimes just a little adjustment up/down/in/out/sideways is all that is needed. DH cannot feel the sensations I am feeling if I yell out, "Yeouch!". It takes him quite by surprise, poor darling.
I am glad you have broken the ice. I am sure it can only get better as time goes on. Yep, plenty of lube, and peri balm, and takin' it slow with lots of foreplay. See if DH can hold off with penetration long enough for you to be begging for it. *That* is the point where your vulva and vagina are ready! The rest is easy, ie more foreplay, less grinding. He knows he will get in there in the end. He just needs to be patient. Tie him to the bedframe if you have to, with his permission and other protocols in place, of course! Have fun. Just don't overdo it while your vagina and vulva are easily irritated.
Cheers
Louise
pearlnecklace
June 16, 2009 - 8:45am
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tender and bleeding prolapse
pearlnecklace use one tablespoon to one cup of idodized salt water, table salt only, its pure.use one quart of this in morning, thats four level tablespoons, to clean all areas on the toilet with turkey baster. splashing all areas of vulva.if using pessaries or sponges must be kept clean. please take care of prolapse right a way in morning, tissue is becoming thin, therefore bleeds easy. put one tablet acidophilus soft gel,far up in vagina at night, will stop the dryness that is causing you to bleed, this stops infection, as does salt water. this sounds more like be bladder problem, it is more tender then other prolapses. also stand up like a man when peeing,use plastic cup, when out stand with legs apart on toilet.this gets all urine out of bladder.sex on your back with plenty of lube, dont be a cowboy.this is your problem not his.remember this.... keep area always clean with warm salt water , iodine will be good for tender infections, and salt water makes vagina skin stronger, please keep prolapse under control at all times,dont ever let it drag. patra
louiseds
June 16, 2009 - 9:36am
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iodine and sex
Hi Patra
I don't think that regular iodine washes of the vagina are a good idea. Iodine will kill everything, which might be your aim, but it also kills the good bugs too, that are needed to keep the pH correct and control the bad bugs. I guess that's what the acidophilus gel is for, to replace the good bugs. What is acidophilus gel? Why stand up when peeing? Are you suggesting that women stand on the toilet? Why, or have I misunderstood you?
One last question. What makes you say that sex should be on your back?
Cheers
Louise
pearlnecklace
June 16, 2009 - 10:57am
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iodine in salt water
pearlnecklace no the little iodine in the salt water is good for the vagina, its natural, like swimming in the ocean, that is when the ocean was pure, many years ago, no dont stand up on toilet stand on floor with cup, I use a large plastic cup. something like a mesurement cup , or any thing that feels right.I have a four cup. early in morning this is sometimes needed. how about a half gallon milk plastic carton... when going out of the house straddle toilet one leg on each side of toilet to pee , same as a man,,,maybe thats why they dont get too many bladder infections.....???? but make sure all undergarments are off. yes,acidophilus gel is the soft type that can melt in stomach or vagina, not the powder type,this just sits there and does not melt, also take one in mouth daily.I who had many infections,in my life, have found a cure, as least for me.... standing up on your feet, on the floor , with cup in hand can empty out the bladder, as nothing else can patra ps I use Publix acidophilus lactobcillus acidophilus and bifidobacterium longum .I hope you have a publix food store where you are.also the iodine in the salt will not dry out the vagina, iodized salt is used in food,so we can use it in our vagina, we are all short of iodine in our bodies any way,only a small trace will be absorbed through our skin. patra
Jordansmommy09
June 16, 2009 - 2:03pm
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Louise, yes, this is my
Louise, yes, this is my first baby. I'm sure the lack of sex drive and general dryness/tenderness is very much so due to lack of estrogen since I am EBFing. My OB mentioned the possibility of estrogen creams to help strengthen vaginal tissues, but wanted me to see if I could go without an intervention like that since I am BFing--at least until I stop nursing (which won't be for at least 9 or 10 more months at the earliest probably). So hopefully when I stop nursing, some of these issues will resolve on their own--especially the lack of sex drive one! Oh, terrible. So you think the bleeding was from the extra friction, even though I didn't bleed until 2 days later? I'll have to think about getting a speculum... but, and maybe I'm just completely confused about my own anatomy... won't the speculum be covering the area of concern once inserted?
Also, it's good to hear that 12 months are generally required to heal after surgery. I will try to keep that in mind. I take it as a good sign that during the course of lovemaking, my perineum felt better and better (although still tender).
Patra, I will have to research the iodine washes idea. I've never heard of that. I'm a little leery of any sort of douching--never done it before, and don't know that I ever will... I don't seem to have a problem emptying my bladder. I've tried evacuating further while on hands and knees in the bathtub during a shower, and there is nothing else to evacuate. I also don't feel the urge to urinate after I've evacuated on the toilet, so I'm not sure if all of this means I'm not retaining any urine at all or not. I would think it would suggest just that, but maybe I'm mistaken.
Also, I tried sex in missionary position, and it was not comfortable, especially for my perineum. Me being on top was far more comfortable for both my perineum and tender vagina tissues, mostly because I was in control of penetration... not sure why the man-on-top position would be better. I'm not sure what you mean by this is my problem not his. He is my partner, and the father of our child. Since I have now experienced what appears to be a permanent change in my anatomy which requires special tender loving care and extra sensitivity, I would fully expect my DH to be just that--sensitive and caring to the needs I have now. If something happened to him which required me to make some changes in order to best support him, I would do the same. So I don't really see it as not being "his problem," it's just a change that he and I will work together to figure out.
~Shannon
pearlnecklace
June 16, 2009 - 5:46pm
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well, thats alright, IODINE RULES
pearlnecklace will not mention any more of my cures, they come from old TIME people of knowledge, find out for yourselves. but one thing, I did not say any thing about a douching, a turkey baster is only a small amount of salt water,,,,,GOING UP... also the rest of the water is to be splashed over vulva. most of it gets on the outside, small amount is splashed inside, as to sex, keeping all prolapses in place on back is a smart move,STOP THE HANGING. when I mean your problem, not his, only means, to take care of your problem,the best way you can, and use your heads. most men I know, CAN not understand this,AS MOST WOMAN CANT UNDERSTAND IT THEMSELVES... did not mean to insult your husband,OR BOYFRIEND, SORRY, maybe my english is poor, so no one HERE IT SEEMS understands .BUT THATS OK... but it works for me...... and I have tried most every thing else, this is taken from the women of Russia, who worked the fields,AND DID VERY HEAVY LABOR FAR INTO THEIR EIGHTIES for CENTURIES... ALL PEOPLES, BOTH MEN AND WOMEN MAY I ADD LIVED LONG AND HAPPY LIVES. this PROLAPSE, from what I understand WAS A very common problem, HAVE MANY OTHER THINGS TO STATE, BUT WILL ONLY READ FROM NOW ON AND NOT WRITE. THE VAGINA NEEDS A LITTLE HELP, PLAIN WATER DOES NOT CUT IT FOLKS, JUNK THE BALM.... GIVE YOURSELF A CHANCE TO STOP ODOR AND INFECTIONS..... SEE YA PATRA
louiseds
June 16, 2009 - 9:17pm
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Traditions
Hey Patra
Don't go away, will you. I now understand more about where you are coming from. Do you live in Russia? It is indeed interesting to read about how traditional medicines and treatments from other parts of the world work. It doesn't surprise me that Russian women working in the fields suffered prolapse long ago, and that they had ways of looking after themselves and their bodies. This is still happening in Nepal and other developing countries, with women doing all the heavy work, with very little opportunity to determine their own lives, little education and poor training and help with childbirth.
I think you are doing well writing in English. Forgive us if we have to seek clarification about what you mean. We are just trying to understand, not to criticise.
We all have a lot to learn from each other. I think we have to evaluate traditional treatments as much as modern treatments. Some did not work, let's face it. Some modern treatments are simply evil too. But in amongst it all is the truth. We are making the new traditions together.
I guess that using pure sea salt in the washes would be the same as using table salt plus iodine. I would rather go that way, rather than using iodised salt or table salt with a few drops of Betadine. I really love Wholewoman balms. They too are made from traditional ingredients and are lovely to use.
Have you checked out how Wholewoman posture works, for keeping bladder and uterus in place? I have found that understanding the theory behind it has allowed me to continue pretty heavy outdoor work, up on ladders, shifting soil, rocks and bricks, and working in my garden, as well as housework and working with sheep and farm equipment without straining myself. The muscles feel pretty stiff the following day, but the prolapse is OK.
Re sex positions, once you understand the principles behind Wholewoman you will see that there are many ways of using your body to protect prolapsed organs, as well as 'good old on-your-back'.
Tell us a bit about your interest and participation in the Wholewoman Forums.
Cheers
Louise
louiseds
June 17, 2009 - 12:35am
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oestrogen cream, mini-pill and speculum
Hi Shannon
The speculum I was given is completely clear plastic, because I guess doctors don't want anything to be hidden when they examine a vagina. My guess is that the source of the blood will either be your cervix (ie inside of your uterus) or some inflammed vaginal tissue which will show up as red and inflamed. No, I don't think the bleeding would be from extra friction if it was a couple of days later. Back to the drawing board.
BTW, I wouldn't rule out the mini-pill as the agent. It is probably harmless bleeding if this is the case. I wouldn't think exclusive breastfeeding would rule out a period this early. It would just be very unusual, but I might be wrong about this. I would be asking a contraception clinic about this, perhaps not your usual doctor, but somebody who prescribes the mini-pill to EBF women all the time.
I would also be steering clear of vaginal oestrogen, as you are on the mini-pill and it might interfere with it. They say there is no systemic uptake, but the mini-pill is a pretty sensitive contraceptive. I would be erring on the side of safety and don't confuse it. I wouldn't feel at all guilty if you don't feel much like sex at the moment. That is my memory with young babies, apart from the dry vagina thing, which can be a real dampener for a woman who is usually very juicy. If I was God, I would make sure that all Mums with little babies were as put off sex for as long as possible, as pregnancy at this stage would, in theory, compromise the welfare of the current baby. Isn't God clever? (grrrr) I would be using Bliss Balm to prevent rubbing during sex.
Cheers
Louise
pearlnecklace
June 17, 2009 - 5:39am
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from Russia from Love to all
pearlnecklace yes, I do,come from Russia and I really do very much want to help. But I know some things I say might be crazy to some.I am from a far out place called Georgia. I have worked hard, but not like my people. I was very lucky to have much time in school. But people here have live long and worked hard with not much help. They had to find it them selves.I just know from my self. I am married with three young children,, and have bladder prolapse. I live here in usa now but go back and forth to see many family and friends. I have been to doctors here, had my last child here. Believe me when I say most of the woman I know in Russia have some kind of prolapse, but it is not a death sign, It, I guess just feels like it sometimes. I just feel the best thing that works for me is what I know and do. Sponges have always been used, but no as pretty and fine like the ones I have here now. Very fine Lambs wool have been used, the thing is not to let it get worse. I protect my self very much, with my husband, who I dont refuse, and with the good treatment I use for myself. I have read ww book by christine, and a lot of it makes good sense to me..The posture is what try most of time. I am over protect of my self.. I got the v2 belt....which is a good thing, belts like this were made in russia, and I have seen a many of them..... The one I have was stiff.. and had to soak in downey,fabric so soft. for sex I have tried everything, I am no prude, but am afraid that my prolapse will get worse if I am too frisky...My husband is tired, works hard, and taking in slow is ok for him. the skin in the pelvic floor is so weak.. and these are organs that are hanging. such an awful thing, to have a big hole where every thing can snap free... God could have maybe done a little better by us woman. bless all Patra
pearlnecklace
June 17, 2009 - 6:44am
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iodine from Betadine?
pearlnecklace well that might be an idea... few drops of betadine in pure sea salt, why cant I find sea salt with iodine in it. I do know the sea and oceans have it naturally..and the skin, which is our most big organ, can drink it in.also fresh water seafood does not have as much iodine as the sea fish. maybe they have nothing at all, because i have eaten many fresh fish in russia, and we are still in need of iodine. must explore..in stores and shopps, and books... why is it most people have this iodine problem in their bodies.just not enough, In russia we realize this and put pure idodine, the red kind no the white on our stomach, the size of our fists, thats how we measure.it.. so children dont get too much, only when we think it might be missing in our bodies, do we do this, it turns to fade right away if we are in need of it. and if not in need stays red color.thank you for nice letter. might try the balm, but acidophilus gels taken in my body and in the vagina keep me not ever dry.. bless you Patra
louiseds
June 17, 2009 - 6:50am
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from Russia with love to all
Thanks for filling in a few details for us Patra. It is interesting that prolapse is so common in Russia. I guess the prevalence of it, and acceptance of it varies, depending on women's attitudes.
For some women, the normal loosening changes that happen to a woman's body after her first pregnancy are regarded as prolapse. At the other end of the scale, a woman whose organs have dropped to near the introitus but not come out might not think she has prolapse, just dropped pelvic organs.
In addition to that there is a lot of stigma attached to POP in some countries, which might deter women from admitting that they have POP, ie they are not 'perfect'. Perhaps in Russia women accept that this happens and have no illusions about having a 'perfect' body, so are quite open about it. I hope we hear more from you, and that you will be one with us in learning more about how we can make the most of what we have.
Cheers
Louise
Jordansmommy09
June 17, 2009 - 3:00pm
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Louise and Patra,
Thanks Louise--I think you're right about the breakthrough bleeding. I'll see if I can find a speculum at Rite Aid. I'm eagerly awaiting my peri and bliss balms to come in the mail--I can't wait to try them.
Patra, I am sorry--I must have read your comments wrong. I know you were not trying to offend, but just offer some help and advice. I hope you stay on the boards and further enjoy both reading and writing to the other ladies here. It is not uncommon for dentists to advice people to rinse their mouths with warm salt water to help heal and sooth sore gum tissues after dental work, or teeth removal, so it makes sense to me that a similar wash would help sooth tender vaginal and vulva tissues. I think we could all benefit from the advice and wisdom you have acquired from women with a long history of managing their pelvic organ prolapse. Please keep posting!
~Shannon