I know I shouldn't have looked, but...(please help!)

Body: 

I had been feeling very positive lately about my prolapse improving, in fact I feel pretty much symptom-free. I am now 2 months pp and I know there is more healing to go, but I took a look today and am totally freaked out! When I parted the labia (I am still not comfortable writing these things!), there was so much tissue in my vagina. I don't even know what it all is! I have been told I have a mild cystocele/rectocele and a grade 1 uteran prolapse. I got myself in negative thinking mode and I just have to ask...does the fact that I have three different organs prolapsing mean that I won't be able to heal as well as someone with "just" a cystocele or rectocele? Will my uterus make it impossible for the other organs to move back up? I had read so many stories on here that had my hopes up, but now I'm wondering if mine is a hopeless case.

I would be so appreciative if anyone has any ideas about this--I am so worried and scared.

mzimm

Calmez-vous, ok? Yeah, 2 months pp is only scratching the surface of the healing you will do. I think at 5 months pp, I finally saw something that resembled my vagina of old, but it has taken until 8 months pp to see it on an almost daily/all day basis. Be forewarned that it may get a tad worse at the three month mark, but rest assured that it WILL improve in the months following. Oh, that negative thinking mode . . . don't I know it well. Here's something to keep in mind: in my own informal "poll" of the healing that pp women here have experienced, it is *almost always* by two or more grades. So that puts your mild POPs where? About nil. It will get there. The member Kiki had all three prolapses, at about grade 3 if I am quoting correctly, and she is now classed as "mild." I know that the doubt exists that one will be the exception to the rule, but I think unless you have some other extenuating factor then there is no reason not to expect that you too will heal. Just keep doing what you know is right, i.e. posture, diet and nauli. Add walking in posture if you haven't already -- that has been a noted "turnaround" point for several of us. Remember too, that many other cultures consider the postpartum period to be one or even two years. You've got lots of time for your stuff to sort itself out. Well, that's what I tell myself, at least! Deep breath. Best wishes.

I so appreciate your responses. For right now I am just trying to focus on the fact that I have no symptoms (unless I try to run!). I am taking deep breaths and trying to believe that I will continue to heal. Today I had a doctor visit for something unrelated, but I asked him about his experience with postpartum prolapse and healing. He told me it was one of those "Oh well!" situations because the damage has been done and nothing can fix it until I'm done having kids. I thought--Oh well? Easy for you to say! He also told me that by 2 months pp I am 95% healed and shouldn't expect much improvement. Wow...what an uplifting visit! I really don't think men get it.

Thanks again for the responses. If anyone else with multiple prolapses has some advice/experience I would love to hear it!

Hi Jackie

Yeah, I finally got out of bed this morning, did all my morning things and here I am. It is 10am now.

All the women who posted advice are absolutely right. It will get better to a degree, no matter what you do. Do all the Wholewoman stuff and you will feel the symptoms a lot less, and set your body up to revert better, because you will be carrying your organs in their proper orientation and position. Your fascia may not heal or revert any quicker, cos that is set by what the body can do.

I know what it is like. When you are feeling all postpartum saggy and floppy it is really hard to visualise yourself looking and feeling good in a bathing suit ever again! I personally think it is because when we have babies and little kids we are programmed to deal with the here-now, and keep focussed on our babies' current needs. Our whole perspective on life moves inwards and stays there for some time. The prospect of our bodies being significantly different in 12 months time is just a distant dream, not the certain reality that it is!

The only one who doesn't know what he is talking about is the gyn who said you are 95% recovered. What a lot of twaddle! He has obviously never carried and birthed a baby!

BTW, saggy organs are like three bags of jello. Mine, and I know others too, move around all over the place. I never know what I will find low in this vagina of mine. It's a bit of a lucky dip really. ;-) Sometimes they disappear altogether unless I mine for them.

But at least they are all there, behave well mostly, and can support each other. It's no big deal, now I have made friends with them, and got to know them better. Sue has named hers "Poppies". I haven't quite gone that far yet! Hi Sue!

Cheers

Louise

Wow . . . Louise said it rather nicely, about your doc being full of twaddle. I would have used a different term, starting with s . . . ending with t . . . . Not only has he never been pregnant, birthed, or recovered first hand, but apparently he fails to stay abreast of any medical publications on the subject. Where exactly did his little "statistic" come from? Fire him. Seriously, in my early days of panic, a simple google search lead me to a recent UK study regarding postpartum prolapse. To loosely quote it, the post-birth vagina does not complete the process of involution (shrinking back to normal) until SIX MONTHS POSTPARTUM. Assessment for surgery for prolapse is not done until ONE YEAR POSTPARTUM, because of the even further potential for healing after that initial six months. The doctor I saw was just about as brilliant on the subject. She found something fascinating and invisible over my shoulder to stare at while mumbling something about "do kegels." I'm sorry he dragged you down. Tick it off for what it was, clear misinformation, and be confident that you have only just begun your healing journey.

such good advice. So true!
It is so hard to know what is going on just by looking. skin rips, things get pushed around--our post baby bodies are not meant to look like before--any bit of them.
so focus back on how youa re feeling. that is ultimately what matters. i feel great most of time, but i could see my bulges if i looked. but they bear no relation on how i feel, so i don't look.
and bad-mirror is right. i have three lovely POPs, and two were grade three--just my uterus wasn't as it couldn't fit out the door with the other bulges. but they've moved themselves all up. in fact, they hold each other in. i worry about if i get rid of one, what would happen to the other? it all just sort of works. I remember thinking "if only i just had a _______ (fill in the blank)", but eventually got through that and realised that this is where i was at, and that they hold each other in.

re healing, as advised ignore that doctor!!! at two years I was still noticing differences! Christine is noticing changes to her POP with the changes she's made to her diet--so things can and will keep affecting them, and you can and will keep improving. in fact, at 2 months i still felt horrible! at 4 months it was starting to get noticeably better, and at 6 months i started really going in the right direction. and i know i was told they wouldn't reexamine me till 1 year PP, or once i stopped breastfeeding if longer (but physio said once my cycles returned probably wouldn't notice a difference with stopping feeding, and when i did stop feeding i didn't notice any changes to my POP.)

So deep breath, take a moment to focus on your body, and feel what you are feeling. and remember that--and then know your post partum journey is only beginning.

Hi just wanted to tell you that i was seen by to gyn a male end female and they both told me my cystocele would improve so much that my life will get back to normal and that sugery should n t be necesery.In fact, the male dr. said it will get so good that he had no hesetation to send me back into my old job of theatre nursing.He said keep doing kiegels and he wouldn t see me for another half year as healing is slow and i just gotto be patient. in the norwegian doctor assosiations web pages it also sais that pp prolapse almost always heales and will not require surgery and that only in rear cases will woman need surgery for pp desens.

I think that you come to a stage where you and POPpy (as I call her) come to a stage where you reside together in the same body.

And if you think of it like a marriage (or a symbiote lol) You willseee that in this 'relationship' you will have ups and downs.

I have been away for a while doing alot of walking and doing tons of fun stuff. POPpy today - For the first time in a longgggggggg time - Had a little comlain at me. But... I guess she may be making her presence known cos I forgot about her? Who knows... lol...

Oops - hafta stop - being called by 'him' lol

Either way - It is alot in the mind and how you perceive yourself. It will take alot of time to get used to the new you - And your new pal. And - then again - You can go for a hell of a long time and not even know about her (after my first I didnt feel a thing until I had my third child. So....... everybody is different ya know)

Hafta go.......