Falling further?

Submitted by saddleup on August 5, 2009 - 9:04pm
Body: 

I think my bladder has fallen further back. Sometimes when I urinate, the stream shoots out ahead from the anterior of my body, kind of like it sometimes did when I was pregnant so long ago. Most times it's much more normal.

Lately, whether using a tampon or not, I have experienced some leakage when engaged in my favorite high-impact sport. Not every time, but sometimes. Am I doomed to be an ex-horseback rider? I still feel that the tampon provides a little support for the organs in there, but I've been experimenting to see what works better. Things just seem more irritated "down there" lately. And for a while, I had barely noticed the cystocele. Sigh.

I have made an appt. with the uro-gyn doctor for a month or so from now. I will concentrate on the exercises and posture and see if anything improves.

louiseds

August 6, 2009 - 2:08am

Hi Saddleup

I know that I have experienced a 'sudden' deterioration of POP, but it has all settled in its new position, and it is still OK, and still doesn't limit me. However, I don't ride horses.

I am wondering if you could amend your riding posture, which would probably alter your whole riding style. It might even mean that your present saddle won't work any more. Or your horse doesn't like it. Doesn't sound like something that would be easy to do. Have you amended your riding posture at all, since discovering POP?

I think there are many tools we use in everyday life that are designed around how we are, rather than on how we should be. Chairs are one example. And a saddle is, well, ... a chair, of sorts. Maybe saddles are designed for cowboys, and not for women who want to ride comfortably and safely? I have an image of the Marlboro man in my head. No wonder they walk like that after getting out of the saddle! I also have an image of a more upright dressage posture. How do you sit?

L

saddleup

August 6, 2009 - 10:00am

Hi, Louise:

I ride English hunt seat. It's not the big, heavy Western saddle of cowboy fame. It's a minimalistic design, but it's there to keep you in place when your horse jumps over a fence. I've been more aware of my posture since the POP surfaced (so to speak), but there doesn't seem to be a lot of room for improving on traditional riding posture, because it works.

I suspect that a lot of my POP problem stems from a whole life of struggles with posture. Also, I have spent too many hours sitting (badly) in a chair at a computer desk in recent years.

The horse we own has a bouncy gait. I can't trade him in for a new model. It is likely that the impact directly on the pelvic region from posting the trot might shake up the ligaments and tissues. There are a lot of women who switch from jumping fences to riding dressage--and I thought it was more out of loss of nerve for jumping. Maybe it's because it would be overall easier on the body.

One riding instructor used to tell me to "bear down" with my seat while cantering. As it turns out, that was bad advice for me. I've also done Pilates, which probably didn't help either. While I was taking Pilates, I was out for a walk one day when my back started to hurt. The next day I could barely move without serious lower back pain. That put me into PT for several months (no riding then) while I did countless McKenzie back extensions and eventually healed.

The POP problem showed up after a vacation in which I went sea kayaking. If you want to talk about an awkward position for the back and pelvis, that's one for you. I loved being out on the water, but did that ever throw things out of whack.

Modifying a saddle is not feasible, but I may be able to try a sheepskin pad on top. I don't know if that would lessen the impact or further irritate things. Our horse has been with us a long time, and I'm not giving him up. If I have to ride less often or less intensely, I will.

I really appreciate your comments, Louise. This a terrific online community.

Best wishes,
Saddleup

louiseds

August 6, 2009 - 11:07am

Hi Saddleup

The change you mention from jumping to dressage could be precisely as you describe. A bit like the change from tennis to lawn bowls. And aerobics to Tai Chi. Men change from football to golf (until their overworked knees cave in altogether and they too take to the rinks), or if they are tennis players, they just develop their spin, get cunning, slow down, and keep winning (always with a twinkle in their eye)!

As much as we so often blame male doctors and their misogynist practise for our prolapses, there are also things way beyond the blame of doctors happening in our bodies. Pregnancy and birthing, wear and tear, poor posture for whatever reason, poor body management, taking bad advice, and plain old 'getting older'. As much as I would like to think that I will be as active in old age as I am now, there is plenty of evidence out there in the real world that we do ease up as we get older. If it is not the bladder, it is the knees, or the wrists, or whatever. I do sometimes think that women give up dancing and other energetic sports and activities because of bladder continence problems, rather than the knees they so often blame. Blaming a dicky knee is so much more heroic than admitting that they pee their knickers if they go too hard. It reeks of climbing into a coffin.

We have an old bitch who spends a lot of her days lying around, or wandering around quietly, smelling things. She will go for a long walk, but more often these days, turns around and waddles off back home and waits at the gate for our return. Occasionally we find a little puddle where she has been lying. She is not an inside dog, so that's OK. Sometimes she gets a bit excited, and runs around like a puppy and tries to jump up on her hind legs, but she doesn't get far.

I do hope I have the good grace to slow down a bit as I age, and don't feel compelled to run around like a young idiot, trying to prove that I am younger than I really am. I think the quest for eternal youth can give us false expectations of what our bodies should be able to do. We do punish our bodies sometimes, in the name of enjoyment. Maybe by easing back a bit on the physical intensity of our leisure activities we can keep doing them for longer.

I knew a man once who was a very good golfer, very competitive, with a very low handicap. The very first time he failed to equal his handicap (or whatever it is that golfers do!) he put his golf clubs away and took up lawn bowls. He was either very stupid for thinking that not beating your handicap would mean the end of golf, or very wise, knowing when he was no longer capable of beating himself, and choosing to take up a new sport, where he could only improve! I have a feeling that competing and winning were more important to him than getting out there in the fresh air and having a good time with his mates. That was a bit sad. Anyway, he enjoyed bowls for many years after that.

I do hope you are able to keep riding. You are obviously very fond of your horse, and spend some special times together. I'm sure he enjoys it too. I do hope I can keep dancing. It is something that I have many years of learning in front of me. It is not competitive and I have plenty of older mentors.

I am not saying, "You are just getting old. Get used to it." I just think that looking at other ways of doing things we love can be life-giving, rather than an unpleasant reminder that our body has changed, and we need to adapt, both in what we do and in our attitude towards those changes. Try not to be too hard on yourself, and try not to blame yourself for making bad decisions that you made long ago. As we get older we collect the results of decisions we have made. Statistically, the older you get the more bad decisions you have made. But you have made more good decisions too! Do we ever give ourselves credit for those? Not likely!

Lord, give me the means to keep doing the things I do, the cunning to change things I can no longer keep up, and the wisdom to know the difference.

Cheers

Louise

saddleup

August 6, 2009 - 4:50pm

Amen, Sister.

Alix

August 7, 2009 - 12:09pm

Hi Saddleup, I really hurt reading about your problems getting back to horse riding. I have been experiencing similar re running, as I think have many on this site, and I'm sure we can all empathise with the disappointment and agonising grief this sort of loss can bring. I hope, for all of us, the loss won't be permanent, but we must all have times when we believe it will be, and that is SO painful.

You mentioned sports tampons - what are they? Are they just large tampons, or a different shape or what?

This is probably completely inappropriate, forgive me! I know a woman who loved riding but hurt her legs too badly to ride and took to driving some kind of racing cart.

saddleup

August 7, 2009 - 7:43pm

Hi, Alix:

Thanks for the sympathetic thoughts. Brisk walking alternating with jogging doesn't seem to create any problems for me. I hope that running works out again for you. Christine's new video recommends it, as I recall. The horse issue is quite real for me, as the other rider in the family is soon moving out of the area. I really don't know how this is going to turn out.

As for the sport tampons, they are made by Playtex and they are actually shorter in length than other "regular" Playtex tampons. That makes a difference for me due to my altered inner anatomy. (Like, my cervix used to be higher than it is now.) I coat the plastic applicator with a bunch of Bliss Balm and insert it. It acts like a pessary to hold the bladder in place. I picked up the suggestion from another Whole Woman forum participant. Some people like to use sea sponges--you can search the site for the discussion on those.

Anyway, it could help.

Best wishes,
Saddleup

pepper

August 10, 2009 - 5:00pm

Hi Saddleup

I too am a horse rider and have just gone back to riding in the last few months after having had a break for a few years. I have an asymtomatic cystocele to the extent I'd forgotten I even had one - that is, until I started riding again. When I go for a lesson (which is one hour fairly intensive flatwork, including a lot of trotting on an Arabian horse with big movement) I now always wear a pad, as I sometimes leak. The first time this happened it took me completely by surprise, as I've never leaked before whilst coughing, laughing, running etc. It happens usually when trotting or maybe during a downwards transition from canter to trot. I, like you, have wondered whether I'm doing more damage by continuing to ride. I ride a couple of times a week, but haven't yet bought my own horse. I also can't bear the thought of giving up, as it's the thing I love to do most in the world. For me, walk is fine, canter seems fine and I've done small jumps with no problem - it must be something to do with the movement in posting trot and only happens occasionally. At the moment I've just decided to carry on, wear a pad and always empty my bladder just before I ride (and not drink much just before my lesson). A wet saddle would be pretty embarrassing!