Needing some encouragement

hello Phoebe: firstly, congratulations! on Zoe! I know how hard it is after giving birth when everything is going along "normally"...so, i'm really sorry to hear about the challenges you are facing. I just want to send you lots of support and warm wishes and calm energy...i have never had (so far) the issues you are dealing with but it sounds very difficult and stressful...your reaching out is a good thing and i know a lot of women will respond. Take good care of yourself; try to let your partner handle more of the infant care-taking, if you can. Stay strong; rest; drink herbal teas, hug Zoe, keep talking to your doctor. And have a good friend/relative stay with you for comfort, help w/ chores and support. Take care Phoebe. ggbridge.

Remember how much you healed after your first birth! To the point of not noticing, if I recall your post correctly. And you weren't even doing the posture! You are unbelievably early pp, remember how slow this healing goes, but that it does, indeed, go. Spend time on elbows and knees. Pull into ww posture whenever sitting or standing. I think that is critical. Eat really, really well, and get lots of omega-3 DHA. See someone ASAP if you need for the blues factor. Be sure to fully empty your bladder, and no straining. You've been through this storm before and you will weather it again. You will.

congrats phoebe & family!

and {{{{hugs}}}} sorry to hear about the prolapses. any step back is upsetting, such a large step back, well, yes, I can see how that would be devastating. but you've improved before and you will improve again. you will. maybe not today or tomorrow, but it will happen.
I think you know how to best care for yourself...plenty of rest and good, nutritious food and water. no constipation. short walks (pref. in the sunshine if you have any where you are) in posture when you are up for it. positive thinking.

you will be ok. if it helps, I will worry about your POPs for you while you spend your time blissfully with baby.

and btw, I love the name zoe

Congrats on the arrival of your beautiful baby girl, and good for you for going the hypnosis route! I bet your husband and obgyn are proud of you. A healthy baby is a lovely reward!.......As for the prolapses, I will reiterate, "it will get better". Progress is slow and the first few months are long. Sleep with your baby so you can lie down for 8-12 hours at night (this helped me - I swaddled her up tightly and then put her beside me in a nursing pillow so I wouldn't roll on her). Badmirror mentioned this, but spend lots of time on hands and kness and cross-legged sitting with a straight back. Try to get someone to help you with your 2 year old. (My son went to daycare 5 days a week until I was 3 months pp). Pull up into posture when you can, and if you haven't already, wear the v2 supporter.

Your story of improvement gave me hope. You told me that your prolapses only bothered you at 10 months when you were getting your period, and by the time you were 18 months you were virtually assymptomatic. Right now I am 8 months pp. I gave up the v2 supporter at 3 1/2 months pp, I stopped wearing a tampon at 4 months pp. Now, I suffer mainly from irritation. I only mildly feel my prolapse (some days are better/worse than others). I mainly have a urethrocele which sits at the entrance, some days I can find my cervix about a finger length in, and I question whether I have some softening of the posterior wall - my vagina feels a bit funny when my bowel is full, but no problem with emptying. I use the posture more than anything else, but once I hit 3 months pp I went crazy with the DVD exercises. Now life is taking over, my son is in school, I'm trying to unpack, and my little girl is about to get mobile. I still think about my vagina (I never did before prolapse), but it is less often. I feel stronger and can lift things that I never would have in the early pp months. I'm still nursing quite a bit and have not got my period back, so I'm hoping for continued improvement (last time I was 15 months pp before it returned). I hope this gives you hope. I am sure my urethrocele/cystocele was at least a grade 3 during pregnancy and immediately after. You have lots of time for improvement, be patient and enjoy your baby girl. Alemama said in a previous post to give your body 3 years to heal. Try not to stress, read previous pp improvement posts for encouragement.

Sending healing vibes your way, and wishing you a good little sleeper,
Janice

oh huge congrats on your gorgeous gorgeous baby, and on such a wonderful birth.

And, i am sorry your POP are not behaving. But, to reiterate again, it will get better! i had an equally severe to yours cyst after my last birth, plus severe rect plus mild uterine. I know how scary they are. Now, they are minor. so try (so hard i know) to trust it will improve, stick to the posture, rest, and enjoy your babymoon. i found good music / radio when i was nursing crucial as it kept me from thinking too much, and definately no websites about POP other than WW! Have people help so you can just concentrate on family / baby--I really learned to say "YES" after the birth... So important to let you focus on the important stuff.

take care, and keep us updated
Kiki

thanks for the update. glad to know things are looking / feeling better.
enjoy your baby, and that special nursing time...so precious! computers aren't going anywhere ;-)

Congrats on your baby.
Just remember that everything down there is so streched to get the baby out and that all will go back together again.Its only now 7 mnt pp its the same size as before for me, sorry details, and the lumps gets all tucked inside.
Its just so uncomfortable whilst its all healing in the beginning.
Everybody ,4 docs and fysio said i would get so much better and asymptomatic.I know i have lots of healing left but i am a million times better now than in the early days.
Just remember how well you got the last time.
Enjoy your baby.
Best wishes

Hi Phoebe,

As for sleeping arrangements, I basically slept in the guest room with my baby for the first 2-3 months. I used a typical "boppy" style pillow with some blankets underneath her to keep her nose above the sides of the pillow. You can also purchase a co-sleeper or snuggly nest (or something like that) which keeps a little barrier between you and baby. I opted not to, because these things are used for such a short time (plus I don't move much when I sleep). I would feed her just before I went to bed ( around 9 or so) and then sleep beside her. If she fussed I would gently rock the pillow (while still lying) and often that would be enough. I would get up once or twice to feed her and just sit cross-legged in bed (I tried lying while nursing in the early stages, and it was way too painful - now it is fine). I was lucky in the early stages as she was such a good little sleeper - things are different now!

As for diaper changes, I only did them if I had to. I would put lots of cream on her bottom, and if I felt I needed to change her, I would, but I really thought my rest was more important. I prefer to change a babe every time I nurse, but I let my standards slide this time. She never really suffered, only mild redness!

Hope that helps. Keep asking questions and I'm so glad you are feeling better.

Janice

Do your diaper changes on the floor. It feels much better. I got rid of our change table and kept all of Emily's changing gear in the closet. In the early stages, diaper changing stations all over the house limit walking.

Take care,
Janice

i had a hug a bub which i loved and used exclusively for the first six months, POP and all. barely used the buggy. ergos also meant to be great--i like the hug a bub as you can pop them in and out quite easily and the stretch is perfect for a wrap--to much and they sag, too little and you can't get them in easily when they are little. i just exagerated the posture if i felt saggy, and it got so much better as i got stronger. (see research by McKenna as well)

i coslept with both my babes between us for much of the first year, then a three side cot beside the bed. meant i didn't need to go far to feed. DS2 was (and still is) a horrible sleeper, so i was up all the time. made it so much easier. during the day i spent a lot of time lying on my side with him tucked next to me playing with my other one (hurray for lego!) so that i could rest even if i couldn't sleep (DS2 wouldn't nap lying down either...fun fun!). i also did lots of walks with him in the sling, which helped me emotionally feel better and i think helped my POP.

if you want guidance on safe cosleeping there is plenty on line--mothering magazine definately publishes guidelines regularly...
we used babygros to keep them warm, and then i keep their head up high so i didn't worry about the covers on them which was my worry...

diapers, i did teh floor of the bed--never had anything fancy. also if you have an upstairs / downstairs i'd set myself up both places so that you don't have to run around so much. not to say you can't with POP, but i just found that if i was exhausted it was easier not to have to run upstairs for every diaper change...

also feeding, sitting on the ground cross legged with lots of pillows to support arms was quite good. later we could feed lying down, but i have mega feeding problems for teh first two months, so that was a long time later....

hope that helps. keep us updated!
Kiki

oh goodness, phoebe {{{hugs}}}
I'm so not looking forward to the sleep deprivation. I have no doubt (and also no scientific evidence backing me up,lol) that the exhaustion is making the prolapse worse.

I think I'd be hesitant to try a pessary so soon pp, but I'm not sure why. havent' really given it much thought, but that's just my gut reaction. maybe a V2 supporter type thing?

hopefully, zoe's going through a little growth spurt and will be sleeping better within a few days.
hang in there, mama, it will get better.

I definitely agree with you and granolamom about the sleep deprivation and worsening pop feeling. Mine is always worse when I've had a bad night. Last night, both kids were plotting against me to destroy my night's sleep. Every two hours I was being awakened by one of them. I will try to fit in a nap today and things will feel better.

I will vouch again for the V2 supporter postpartum. I wore mine everyday for 3 months after I had my baby - I had 2 of them! It really did help me feel better, when I didn't wear it, it definitely felt worse. Now I don't need it, and I'm hoping you'll feel that way soon too....In a little while, you may be able to wear a tampon for part of the day. That certainly made me feel more "normal" down there.

I'll keep my fingers crossed that Zoe gets the hang of sleeping for longer stretches. Now that I think of it, the first week with Emily was quite rough, she had horrible gas. My naturopath and GP recommended probiotic drops for her ("Bio Gaia" was the name). I don't know for sure whether it was the drops or just a fluke, but she did have less gas and started sleeping better after that.

You will get better, sleep is what you need right now, try not to worry about your prolapse.

Janice

I never got around to trying one. didn't like the concept and figured I'd try the posture first without it. since that got rid of my symptoms I learned to ignore the bulge and didn't have need for a pessary. in the beginning I did have to get off my feet often but as I got better with the posture and firebreathing that is no longer a real issue.

rest up and get lots and lots of fluids. mastitis is not fun. and no underwire!

Hi Phoebe,

The petite V2 should be fine. I had the small for when I was pregnant and immediately postpartum, and postpartum it was a bit big (I'm normally 120-125 when not pregnant). It comes with adjustable straps for the crotch area, but it is the straps around the hips that are not. Wear pants with pockets and the straps should not be noticeable. It takes a bit of getting used to in the first stages (just the thick elastic around your hips, but you should get immediate relief with the crotch support. Remember, it is not forever, you will get better!

As for the tampon, I think I tried one around 10-11 weeks pp. It made me feel more "normal", so I wore one quite regularly during the active parts of my day. You need lots of lubrication for comfort, so I would use lots of Bliss Balm on mine. I mostly used Playtex Sport, but probably any would have worked. I would leave it in for 6 hours/day. Then around 3 months pp I felt better, so I stopped the V2 and started wearing the tampon a little less. Around 4 months pp I stopped wearing the tampon altogether. I have a urethrocele, and the tampon would just slide right past it, so it wasn't doing much good anyway. I know my bladder is a bit lower than it should be, so that is why I was probably getting some relief from it earlier on.

I hope that helps. Keep asking questions.....Glad you are getting some rest during the day. I find a mid-afternoon nap will keep me sane, help my pop feel better, and energize me for the rest of the day.

As for my prolapse, I know it is getting smaller. It still just sits at the entrance, but it is a urethrocele, so where else is it going to be? I just looked for the first time in a few months, and I think it is between the size of a marble and a pea. That feeling of heaviness has lightened (it happens so slowly you have to think back to remember how bad it was). Mostly I get mild irritation, and if I jog a bit (after my son), I feel a bit saggy. I'm more and more confident in my body and can lift more without that yucky prolapse feeling. I still nurse my little one a lot - probably 5x during the day and 1-2x at night. She is now 8 1/2 months old, and I still haven't got my period back.

Take care and get some rest,
Janice

Hi Phoebe

I was off the air when you first posted this topic and I never got around to sending your congratulations on Zoe's birth. So, well done, my dear. Welcome back to the world of late night partying, and being the one impatient for the child to be ready to stop partying. It will happen again in her teens, so this is good practice. Yes, we parents usually survive the teen years too!

I used to find that my old original, single layer fabric meh tai, with the plain fabric straps, made a wonderful sling for a hotwater bottle. I cound hang it across my chest and slightly under the arm on the offending side, to sooth a sore breast. Best wishes as you get over this.

Yes, it is a canary in the mine, but how you take the pressure off yourself is a mystery that we all have to get on top of. I can only suggest getting your feet up as often as possible during the day, leave housework that will not 'fester or eat your family' for the next week or so, and keep your worry and physical work (and self-expectation) levels at a lower level until Zoe is older. Can you get some help with things you probably find taxing, like getting out with 2 littlies to go shopping. Perhaps ring an order through and get it packaged for delivery, so all you have to do is drive up in the car and pick it all up and drive off? There might be a Home and Community Services in your local government area that does this type of thing for people who are not able to go out, ie elderly people, full-time carers, those recuperating from illness, etc. I think you could put yourself in a position of need for a week or so. They might come at it, as it is so short term. Do you have some meals in the freezer that you can call on? Going for the supermarket frozen meals for a main meal for a few days days probably won't hurt in the long term if your freezer is low.

Can your partner help in any way?

Hang in there Phoebe.

Louise

Just to say when i saw the doctor at about 2 months PP they said they wouldn't consider a pessary at the time--too early, and just wait and see.
I didn't discover tampons till much later, but just remember but i do remember trying one to see if it would stay in around 4 months and it flew straight back out within minutes. a few months later though and they stayed in just find. so remember, things will keep shifting! but i know that desire for something to take away the bulge... hang in there, will get better!

nighttime parenting is hard and exhausting--with a daytime toddler especially! and makes the emotions of all this so much harder. but they too shift quickly (just never feels like it...). sounds like you are doing a great job of looking after what you need, and yes, blocked ducts can be doing too much but can also be a feeding issue. I had mastitis three time in three weeks with DS2 as he wasn't feeding properly and i had open wounds on my nipple...so be sure she's feeding well, and lots of massaging / warm cloths / showers should help.

take care of yourself!
Kiki

It is easy to fall into feeling resentful of our newfound knowledge of the body and how it works. I know each time we go through a new sickness I am again resentful of having to know about it- that is why they say ignorance is bliss. But in the end I LOVE knowledge. I love that I know what thrush is and how to recognize it and treat it in my baby, I love having my brain full of information about nutrition and parasites, about old fashioned remedies for colds or burns or cuts. I am finally thankful each time I encounter something I find to be a physical hardship- I am growing as a person- I am learning everyday and if knowing about my vagina and how it works is part of that- well so be it. The best part is I can pass my first hand knowledge on to my children and friends. And the best part is- I KNOW. If something is going on I know about it- I don't look back later and say "gee if only I had felt that lump when it first started" or whatever.
You are doing great Phoebe. This will pass.
Let's talk more about the posture. How would you describe what you are doing?

on your newest addition! What a great blessing to have an empowering birth experience! Good for you!

About your POPs: you KNOW it will get better! You've been there, done that. I know it is so hard for you to believe, healing is gonna happen this early PP. But please, don't give up hope and think positive! all you have to do now is rest a lot and slowly add some fascia-reshaping sitting/standing in perfect WW posture. And you'll be fine.

We are here for you and ready to support you whenever you need it!
Hugs
Liv

will be honest here.... have a hard time with it immediately pp
abs are all stretched out, relaxin's still in the blood so spine is less stable. but you should still be able to hold your head/shoulders in posture and tip your pelvis forward.

when I'm pp, I remind myself every hr on the hr to:
drink some water
check if I need the toilet
check my posture

I didn't sweat the posture while bf. all my newborns have had their own brand of bf issues so that was enough to deal with. once they've gotten the bf down pat I pay more attention to posture.