Considering surgery....

Body: 

Hi everyone I'm new here. I am a 34 yo mother living in Australia. I gave birth to my son 11 months ago and suffered prolapse. Mainly cystocele but some rectocele and my uterus has dropped a bit also. I was stunned that something like this regularly happens to women? How come I had never heard of it before? Why are we not informed about this stuff BEFORE we have kids?!
At times I've been so angry and wanted someone to blame. Anyway it's happened. I've done everything I've been told to do - spent over $1000 seeing the pelvic floor physio and doing my exercises. Have tried the electrical stimulator thing. It hasn't helped yet.
Because I am an active person who in her former life was a runner, gym junkie, and horse rider, I'm not happy to just live with this as is.
I realise this site is geared away from surgery, but I wonder if there is anyone out there with any good stories about a cystocele repair etc? I want to have all the info to make an informed decision. I won't be rushing any decision as I'm 7 weeks pregnant (yay) with my second child and will have to wait a while before surgery is possible anyway. I'm going to have a C section this time to avoid any more damage.
I'm hoping this preganacy will be ok. I'm a bit scared that I'm going to be pretty uncomfortable.
Advice/comments anyone?

Dear steelmagnolia:

Everyone who reads your post feels for you. Hugs to you!!! My childbearing years are gone. I am not a stellar example, anyway, with the downs edging out the ups these days, and my emotions all over the place. But I continue nonetheless. I am sure that some of the women who have been pregnant more recently can help you out. Read their posts.

I'm glad to hear of your active lifestyle. I bet you will be able to return to a lot of it, because you are younger and still have lots of hormonal activity and resilient tissues. I enjoyed a lovely time grooming my horse today, though I wish he hadn't slept in the manure pile. I guess that's really a bad hair day!

Don't give up. And, especially, congratulations on the baby you are carrying in your amazing female body.

Saddleup

I am 33 almost 34!! After the birth of my second baby 5 years ago, I found my prolapses. How devastating it was. I was 28 then. I knew my mom had "something" down there, but just figured it had something to do with menopause. Nope! I used to feel that heavy dragging feeling all the time after finding it. But probably around a year to two after finding it, I finally was either just getting used to the feeling or my body finally just got comfortable. My only problem right now is the rectocele. I definitely have issues with that but, I believe a lot of it is from my IBS that has been acting up for quite a while.

I just wanted to let you know that you aren't alone out there. Good luck with your pregnancy too!! There are a few moms on here that have had babies after finding the prolapses without making things worse. Take a good look around on here, and stay happy!!!

I just wanted to chime in and tell you that I am also on the younger side, 29, I was 28 when I found my POPs (mostly cystocele), 6-7 weeks after the birth of my 3rd baby. So you are not alone, and we are all here for you!
Liv

Just wanted to say thanks to mom30, clavicula and saddleup for your replies. I'm shedding a few tears because I'm so used to dealing with this on my own. Thanks for taking a moment to read my post and your kind words. I'm amazed there are other women out there going through this and I'd never heard of it before giving birth. Anyway, pregnancy going well so far (only about 8 weeks in) but early days. Can't wait to find out if my little boy is going to have a little brother or sister!!

Hey and welcome to Wholewoman. I'm 30 and I have had 4 children in 6 years. I love the spacing of my first 2 and I bet you are going to enjoy close siblings too.
If you want all the information you can get about prolapse the best thing to do is buy Saving the Whole Woman by Christine Kent. The book explores in detail the different types of surgery and also natural alternatives to stabilize prolapse.
My baby is 8 months now and while I notice my rectocele some I know that in 10 months time I won't notice it at all. There is not much information out there about postpartum prolapse but I can tell you that for me- somewhere around 18 months postpartum everything just gets better! I don't know if this would be the case if I was not practicing wholewoman posture and other techniques but I have heard that even without wholewoman the vagina improves for up to 2 years postpartum.
So perhaps you may reconsider surgery and wait a few years.
I have a super active lifestyle. I do anything and everything I want including jogging, swimming, hiking, baby wearing, carrying a 40 lbs toddler, etc....
One of the many problems with the surgery is that it will limit your activities. I wish I knew some good surgery stories but I don't know anyone my age who has gone forward with it.
I want to caution you about the surgical birth as well. When you learn about pelvic organ support and how the body is designed you will see the flaw in your logic- but trust me, with an already compromised pelvic floor you do not want to cut through the supports of your uterus and bladder abdominally. Vaginal birth is your very best bet to keep your prolapses to a minimum.
I have had vaginal birth after prolapse and even during the actual birth the prolapse was absolutely no problem at all.
There are other women here who can tell you that they also have birthed with prolapse and it was not a problem.
glad you are here. Let us know if you have any questions.

Liv thanks for your reply the other week. I really feel for you having gone through this so young. How are you coping with your POP? Does it bother you day to day? Have you ever considered surgery? Have your symptoms improved at all on their own? Nic

Sorry for my late reply...I've been so busy these days no computer time! But a few moments this morning...

first of all congrats on your new pregnancy! How very very exciting.

There are a lot of young women about here with POPs as you will have found by now, lots more who don't post very often because things have improved so much. I was in early 30's when i discovered my POP, and also felt "why now? if only i were...." the more i hear other women's stories i know it is devastating no matter what the age...

Re surgery it is so hard dealing with this, I know. New babies, prolapse--last thing you need. I too did the physio route with a woman who just dealt with prolapse and incontinence. I can't say it did much for the POP, but she was like a therapist so worth it for that to get me through the really really tough period. What did help was WW posture, excercises (though to be honest i didn't start those till about 2 years on), diet changes, loose clothes--the whole lot.

but, i thought it would be helpful to hear what the medical community said to me...they all first said it will get a ton better (and my POP were BAD). give it a year and see. i saw a top surgeon who said it will improve a ton over the first year, and i was better off living with it than having surgery as even good surgery has problems. if you do have surgery he said never get mesh--he spends his time taking them out now. but, better learning to live with it. everyone else (general doctors, midwives, physio) said it would improve a ton--and it did. but very much helped by WW. I also did homeopathy and accupuncture which i also think helped.

so just hang tight. enjoy your pregnancy and the new baby. adopt WW, and post birth start the excercises at the appropriate time. and see what happens. i noticed huge improvements till about 2 years. but even then, they're still improving and i'm finding new ways of dealing. things i never thought i could do--like run around and play in the park with my kids, i do without thinking. lifting a 35lb little one, again, i do--maybe not for miles, but i do it. so things are possible, things do get better.
if you can, get the video and the book--i would bet you could do some of the excercises now like the gentle ballet ones (holding on if you need at whatever speed you need), but ask more first on that before you start. the pelvic stuff and breathings would have to wait, but you'll know what to look forward to and also understand more about all this.

and let us know how you are getting on!

Hi Steelmagnolia

I am way past babies now with three children 27, 24 and 22. I would like to add that the whole pelvic area improves for many years, IMO not just the two years postpartum. I can remember feeling quite sloshy inside my pelvic area for at least two years, then loose in the vagina for many years after that. After doing Wholewoman posture, and understanding how my whole pelvic area is engineered, my vagina seems to be as tight as ever as far as sex is concerned, despite my POPs. I have learned about positions that keep the pelvic floor (and therefore my vagina) tight (hint: keep your lumbar curve intact) and pin my organs in position.(hint: latimmus dorsi / arms up). You can read all about this in STWW by Christine Kent, as described by Alemama. Once you *understand* your body it is like playing a musical instrument. Your body uses its knowledge to optimise the way it moves. It eventually becomes intuitive. When your body is undamaged it is much more forgiving. You don't have to optimise anything, but when there is damage, there is a best way to do almost anything. Do it any old way, and you will pay the price.

Fear of further damage, and fear of losing your femininity, losing love, losing your partner, losing your independence, losing your continence, losing your youth, losing your sexuality, losing your body image, fear of losing your spunk, fear of turning your vagina inside out. These are very real fears when you have no evidence that they are untrue (sorry 'bout the double negatives!). When you make friends with your body, get your head out of the sand and see how your body is designed to work, and how it can work, much of that fear evaporates like the steam out of your kettle. Without fear, we are all in a much better position to make rational decisions about what we will do with our bodies. Fear is the real enemy.

Cheers

Louise

Hi Steelmagnolia

Fess up time! I asked DH this morning what my vagina is like now (57 yo), compared to before babies. He kind of laughed, and said "looser", but he is quite OK with that. I can still do tricks with my pelvic floor. I think it means that I am suffering from delusions of tightness. Or it might mean that I cannot remember what it was like 28 years ago. It could also mean that my perception of my pelvic organs is quite different from DH's. After all he only experiences them from the 'outside', while I experience them from the 'inside'. It all feels OK to me.

That's all.

Louise