Newbee!

Submitted by Rosebud1224 on January 8, 2010 - 10:20am
Body: 

Hello all. I am so glad to have found this site. I really need the support. Reading the personal stories and advice on here has helped me tons. Lots of tears shed for finally feeling like I am not alone. Sorry in advance for the length of this. I just turned 31 in Nov and have 2 daughters. My oldest is going to be 3 on the 12th and my youngest is 9 months. I had both girls vaginally. I bounced right back after the birth of my oldest. With my 2nd, I started having major pains, like a bone on bone feeling, arond the 5th month. I had a hard time getting up off the floor after playing with my daughter. I chalked it up to the position of the baby and figured it was something I just had to deal with. After she was born, I had a longer recovery time. It took almost the full 6 wks to feel somewhat like myself again. Everytime I picked up my left leg, I had a sharp pulling sensation in my lower tummy area (right above the hair line to the left) I talked to the Dr about it at my 6 wk PP visit. She checked and said I had a small cyst on my left ovary and was prob due to the hormones with breastfeeding and all. She advised me to keep an eye on it and call her if it didn't get better. Well, the pain went away until my lil one was 3 mos old or so. I decided to go for a walk with my sister but she had plans for us to run. NEVER in my life have I ran and against my better judgement I went for it. We did a circuit where you run/jog for so many seconds then walk for so many and do it for several passes. I started having the pain again the 3rd time through. I should have listened to my body and quit, but my sister urged me to finish. When we were done and started walking back to her home I sneezed really hard and had the worst tearing sensation in my lower tummy. I could barely walk. I babied myself for a few days and didn't call the doctor. A few weeks later I started having all the symptoms of a UTI. I have never had one and was unsure if that was it. I also felt like I had a sore on my outer vaginal area so I got out the mirror to check myslef. That is when I seen the bulges. I was shocked to say the least!! I immediatley started searching the internet. I found info about prolapse and self diagnosed myself. I called the Dr to get in for a urine test to see if I had a UTI and at the same time talked to the nurse about "the bulge". I didn't tell her that I had self diagnosed. I thought she'd find me crazy or a hypo. I did end up with a UTI and the nurse told me to set up an appt to talk to Dr about the bulge. I couldn't get in for a month. I called back the next week and asked for my favorite nurse and got her. I went into detail with her about my symptoms, the bulge and what I thought I had. She reassured me that it was not likely to be a prolapse because of my age and said that she could check me over until my appt if that would ease my nerves. I declined as I thought surely she was right. I was starting to feel worse and worse as the days went by. I finaly got in to my appt and my Dr diagnosed me with cystocele, rectocele, and uterine prolapse along with diastasis recti. She said my options were to first decide if we wanted more children, then get fitted for the pessary if that were the case, or have surgery. I had expected both these responses because of what I read on the net. It was still shocking to hear. I came home, talked with my husband and we decided to not have anymore children even though we had wanted at least 3. We decided to go with the pessary and reevaluate my situation in a few years or so. 3 days later I found out I was pregnant. I called the Dr's office and informed them. I had to go in for bloodwork to determine how far along I was (I hadn't had my period yet). I kept the appt for the pessary fitting and talked to Dr about how this would affect the preganacy. She assured me everything would be alright and we could do the surgery 3 mos after baby was born. I agreed. I also asked about vag delivery or csection. She said it was better to go vaginally which I was thankful to hear. So here I am, 23 wks pregnant and scared!! I started as much research into the surgery as I could. I started fearing it and the risks. I found this site and felt relieved. As I waited for an account on here, I read the book and was shocked at the medical professions misuse of women. I informed my Dr that I had decided to not have the surgery and she said she agreed 100%. THAT I did not expect to hear. She said that if I decided on the pessary we could go that route and if the prolapse started to interfere with everyday activities we could talk about surgery later. She said she guaranteed me 100% I would have repeat surgeries if I it did now. So anyway, some of my questions are:

* should I still have my tubes tied? I am not wanting anymore children and I have had a bad past history with the pill
* I found some of the book over my head. Is it just me (with 2 kids interupting me) or did anyone else have this problem?
* I am not sure I should do any of the workout/posture while pregnant, any advice?
* If I do the workout, I am not musicaly inclined, LOL so I am not even sure how to begin (sorry I sound like an idiot, don't I?)

alemama

January 8, 2010 - 6:08pm

I bet you have been waiting for a repy for what feels like forever! So glad you are here. Of course there is this goofy myth that only older women have prolapse- the truth is (something I suspected for a while but just found the research to support) that most women who have had children have some pelvic laxity and prolapse. You are in good company. I am 9 months postpartum and feeling great. I have known about my prolapse for about 3 years now- and went on to have more children-partially because I can not imagine life with out - and because of the women here who have had more children post prolapse discovery and lived to tell the truth of it all- and because with the help of Christine Kent and her research I was able to reverse my prolapse and feel confident about another pregnancy and birth. The truth is that while prolapse may be aggravated by pregnancy- it doesn't have to get worse and can in fact get better.
The honest reality is that you have all the tools you need to stabilize and even reverse your prolapses.
So to answer your questions
1. I wouldn't have my tubes tied- the surgery for your partner is much more straight forward and simple- less risk and less side effects- but of course it is your choice- I would guess that surgery on your tubes may bug your prolapses
2. yes it is technical- you may like the video better- really straight forward and easy to understand with a great work out.
3. yes do it! not the fire-breathing- and not if you feel bad during or after- but yes! and walking is wonderful too
4. You don't have to use the music- and it doesn't have to be all technical- just get the movements down and enjoy.

Glad you are here-have a look around and ask any more questions you may have
2.

saddleup

January 8, 2010 - 6:09pm

Dear Rosebud:

What a time you have had! Welcome to Whole Woman. I am no expert on pregnancy, as I joined the post-menopausal crowd a few years back. I am sure that women with more recent experiences will chime in shortly. All I can say is that

1. You are looking in the right place for the best information,
2. I'm very impressed with your doctor's attitude, and
3. Your baby is and will be a blessing.

Quite a few ladies have reported very successful pregnancies, childbirth, and recovery with prolapses present.
Chances are excellent that you will be among them.

Peace and hugs,

Saddleup

clavicula

January 9, 2010 - 1:27am

Just wanted to say congrats on your beautiful family! I am 29, have 3 kiddos...and POP. And I am fine. Do not be scared and do not feel alone, we are here for you!
there are some wise women here with tons of useful advices! Stay with us and keep us posted!
Liv

Rosebud1224

January 9, 2010 - 10:24am

Thank you for your replies! YES, the wait has seemed long. I applied for an account on here before Christmas, but there was a glitch keeping me from being able to sign in as a member. I have had a great support system from my husband & family. Although my hubby has tried to be understanding and patient, lets face it, he will never really get it. My Mom just worries, as most mothers would, but she also treats me like I am dying. My Dad was like "oh big deal, you won't even have to stay overnight for that. Go in have the surgery and be done with it." My oldest sister, who is 11 yrs older than me, says "I know you don't wanna hear this, but I wish it were me. When I had my tubes tied I told them to cut them, burn them, whatever. I really wish they could have just taken it all" How could anyone feel that way??? And my closest sibling/best friend tries to ignore it, like it will go away. She thinks I stress too much anymore and we have barely been talking. That hurts. As far as other ppl, yes I talk about it to several ppl, they are just all the same with remarks like "that's not a big deal" or "I had a hysterectomy, you'll feel great after". That fight or flight feeling my body was giving me was starting to feel abnormal. I thought I was crazy for not wanting such an invasive surgery (done having kids or not) & wondered how in the world anyone could feel like it was just ok to have all that taken from you? Some people just seemed to be oblivious that there was such a thing as prolapse. I too was once in their shoes.....I think mainly I am mad that this is not talked about. We should be informed on what can/does happen. Instead of making us feel like we are the only one after the fact!!!!

I am going to order the DVD today. I want to learn as much as possible & get started right away. My only fear is that I will be further damaged during delivery because I know that I will end up with an epidural again. I tried my hardest not to have one with my first daughter. I was worried about a needle in my back. I finally gave in at 7 cm because I couldn't take it. I cried and cried while they put it in. With my second, I requested it the second they broke my water (which was sooo painful this time??) Within 30 mins of them putting it in I dialated from 4cm-10cm, but I had to wait a full hour for the doctor to get back to the hospital. I pushed 3 times and she was out. I just know that when it comes down to it I will get it again. I feel upset that I can't take the pain and feel like I am letting myself down. I also cannot afford a midwife/doula. Did anyone else have an epidural (again) knowing what you know now?? If not, how did you cope?

Also, I looked up a tubal ligation yesterday after my post. HMMMMM.....for such a simple procedure (LOL) it doesn't seem that great, huh? I will talk to my hubby about him having his done & also take into consideration maybe I can try the lowest hormone/dose birth control there is. I did have good luck on one a few yrs back, but I don't remember the name & I was with a different Dr then.

Also, I wanted to say thank you for saying that my baby will be a blessing. I cried when I read that. It was so difficult at first to accept this pregnancy. My husband couldn't have been more excited, since we wanted 3. He tried several times to reassure me this was meant to be. Now that the baby is moving, I am realizing again that a little life is forming and I am ready to meet her/him. Everything is meant to happen for a reason!! :)

Karla

davemayamom

January 9, 2010 - 7:07pm

So glad you have found this site. As previous posters have said, you will fine tonnes of valuable information on this site. I'm 11 months pp with my 2nd (4 years apart), and I have a urethrocele. I discovered it during pregnancy, and my symptoms have been slowly resolving over this past year. It is still there, but not very symptomatic, and I do almost everything I did before. After you have this baby, give your body lots of time to heal. Take it easy, and follow the advice on this site. You will be amazed! This website was a lifeline for me.

You are right to avoid surgery for prolapse and tubal ligation. I think that surgery should really only be a last resort. My mom had a tubal ligation in the 80's and came out fine. So have millions of others. But, when I was a physio. student, I encountered the worse possible scenario post-tubal ligation. A young woman in her early 20's who had had 2 boys went in for a laproscopic tubal ligation. (Crazy obgyn for even doing the surgery on such a young woman!). Anyway, the doctor performing the operation perforated her bowel. She was sent home (as they didn't know of the perforation) and a couple of days later she was back. She had sepsis. She then went into multi-system organ failure. In order to save her, they had to give her medication to increase her blood pressure and shunt her blood back to the core of her body. As a result her hands and feet (both sides) suffered from a lack of circulation - she had gangrene. She then had to have bilateral above the wrist amputations and bilateral below the knee amputations. When I saw her she was in ICU, trached, and on a ventilator. She was unable to move her body (nevermind the amputations). She had the tubal ligation in July, I was there in Decemeber. As a student, I was learning to perform tracheal suctioning on her. I was horrified. Here was a woman younger than me, going through HE** all because of a tubal ligation. I learned my lesson then and there never to undergo surgery that wasn't necessary. That was 10 years ago, I still wonder to this day what happened to her........Anyway, sorry to scare you. But I think all woman should know of the risks. I haven't researched vasectomies, so I cannot speak anything negative or positive of them. Birth control is sort of a pain in the neck. Finding the one that works for you and your husband is tricky sometimes.

Funny how the world works sometimes. We like to think we are in control, but it doesn't always happen. Your beautiful baby-to-be was meant to happen. Try to enjoy your pregnancy, and remember your body has lots of healing time ahead. It is soooo hard to be patient, but it will get better.

Wishing you a comfortable pregnancy, and a happy, healthy, good-sleeping, baby. Please keep us posted both on your pregnancy and progress after birth. Come here for a lift when prolapse gets you down.

All the best,
Janice

granolamom

January 9, 2010 - 7:32pm

welcome to the forum
our youngest (2 mo already!) was a surprise. it took me a looong time to wrap my mind around the fact that I was having another baby. I completely agree with your husband, this was meant to be. and this baby of yours WILL be a blessing (as all babies are!)

about the epidural, I would highly recommend avoiding one if possible. by the sound of your post, I would guess that you possibly weren't supported the way you needed to be the last time around in terms of managing labor. it doesn't have to be about 'taking the pain'. my first labor was like that and it was awful. the second time around I had read up on the bradley method (not that we actually used it) and it helped reframe the whole process. labor was no longer about 'putting up with painful contractions' but working with my body and with my baby to do something that I was designed to do. made the pain much more tolerable because I understood it better. I'd also try not to let anyone break my water.
anyway, the big reason (for me) to avoid the epidural, especially now that I have a prolapse, is so that I can move around. that helps get the baby in optimal position and helps you protect your prolapse. believe it or not, your body knows what it needs. the pain will get you moving and that is good in labor (well, pain isn't good, but moving is).
I've had two 'prolapse babies' or I should really say 'wholewoman babies' and birthed them both while I was on hands and knees. that seemed to allow my cystocele to stay out of the way as the baby passed through.
as far as tubal, surgery scares me, so I probably wouldn't go that route.
and its really hard to deal with prolapse without support. irl support is probably best, but this board is wonderful. I love the women here!

louiseds

January 11, 2010 - 12:46am

Hi Karla

Just reading your story makes me realise how many major changes and new experiences you have had in the last year or so. You have had to do a lot of adapting, and that can take its toll. I think you have learned a lot and have a lot more to learn too. Like Granolamom I can only reinforce that you will be going into this labour and birth as an experienced women. As a first time Mum you have *no* idea what it is like giving birth! This time you do know, and you have experienced the joy of holding your first at the end, as a reward for all your hard work.

I had a fully managed first labour (ob's idea for pre-eclampsia), induced, epidural, stirrups, forceps, episiotomy, the lot. It was not nice, in spite of feeling no contraction pain once labour was established. It was like watching the whole thing on tele. It was happening to somebody else. I did have a bit of leg nerve damage from it, but recovered quickly. I would never have another epidural out of choice.

I had two more babies, both in hospital, both active labour and birth, no epidural. Just a little NO2 at transition for the second, but I think that was fear of the unknown. I could have managed without it, in hindsight. The third was my gift. I felt so fulfilled and powerful doing it all myself! I wanted so much to have my third as nature intended, and that is what happened. By that stage I knew all about birth, and I think coming at it with all that familiarity and knowledge is the key to a successful intervention free birth. I can only encourage you to keep coming here and reading the birth stories. Participate in the discussions here and find a good natural birth website with an active Forum, where you can really involve yourself in the positive attitudes you will find among women who know their body was created to do this. Once you can get into that headspace your fear will gradually evaporate and be replaced with a calm confidence. Read Alemama's most recent birth story to see how a woman can so confidently and thoroughly equip herself for events to come. I found it awe-inspiring, though I would rather have an experienced midwife at hand.

I am sure that your baby will be a blessing, and I am sure that you are capable of birthing confidently without an epidural (and also telling your sister she is welcome to run on ahead!). Have no fear. Learn all you can. Go for it! It is not to be missed!

BTW, POP is much less life-threatening than having a baby. Both are quite manageable by ordinaary women like you and me. Don't worry about the menopause thing either. You are busy with having babies. Worry about it later. Menopause is nothing to fear. It too is quite natural and normal, though it can feel like a hurricane during the perimenopause years. The peace at the end is lovely when you have run the race.

Cheers

Louise

txswimmer

January 11, 2010 - 9:33pm

Karla,
My first was more than one week late and turned out to be feet first and too big to try to move so I had to have a C-section. The cord on my daughter was about 12-13 inches which was the reason she was probably not turned head down at birth. Any way it all turned out well with her. Second and third births were vaginal and both boys were large, 9 lbs 3 oz and then my last at age 40 was 10 lbs 7 oz. I had epidurals both times. First time with baby #2 I tried for over 30 hours and could not progress- I was hoping to have him naturally. After 24 hours and almost stopped dilating I was a wreck and submitted to the epidural and things moved along well after that. The third baby, I requested the epidural as soon as they would give it to me and other than having a 10 lb 7 oz baby, the experience was wonderful. I recovered quickly and remember no horrible trauma from the epidural. Dont feel guilty. I think I learned that after the 2nd baby. My prolapses just became noticeable to me a couple months ago, 10 years after the 3rd birth, but as I look back I am certain i have had them for a long time. I didnt know how common it was either until I found this site. I am putting off surgery I hope forever, although I havent devoted much time to the exercises to this point yet, but I plan to. I work a lot and have 2 kids still at home- 1st one in college this year.
Hang in there and ask questions. Someone will be bound to have experiences to share.
txswimmer

Rosebud1224

January 16, 2010 - 12:27pm

There are no midwives even close to my area and the closest Bradley Method instructor is 2 hrs away. Our public library also does not have any books on the Bradley Method....I am begining to think we live in the dark ages in my neck of the woods!!!! LOL

txswimmer, thanks for saying not to feel guilty. I know that if I do give in to the epidural it will only be to my benefit since I tend to freeze up in stressful situations. I just hope I don't PAY BIGTIME later. I still plan to try and find some books on the Bradley Method or some other form of "painfree" birthing. Starting on my 6th month so I feel like I am running out of time.

Thanks to everyone for your words of encouragement!!

Karla

alemama

January 16, 2010 - 5:25pm

Well, hmm- no bradley instructors- what about hypnobirth? That was awesome for me- and listening to you talk about your response to stressful situations it sounds like that hypnobirth would be a great fit-
I had good success practicing the techniques without an instructor- and I only worked on it for 8 weeks so you have time! don't worry.

There are some books you could look into - like Birthing from within- by Ina May Gaskin
anything by Michel Odont (french pronunciation)
and when all else fails check out the La Leche League - even if you don't plan to breastfeed- many have traveling libraries that they will loan books out of!
also there is a movie called The business of being Born and another one called Orgasmic Birth

Many of us have tremendous birth baggage that we walk through during our subsequent pregnancies- and there is great healing potential during the second birth!
The thing is when we know better we do better. It is not your fault that you didn't know what to expect- unfortunately, the popular book "what to expect when you are expecting" just doesn't cut it :)

You have plenty of time to walk through your birth baggage, to learn as much as you can about birth (natural and otherwise), and to consider your own power in birthing!

Rosebud1224

January 17, 2010 - 9:57am

Thank you for the other suggestions. I checked for a local La Leche League, NONE close to me either (more than 2hrs away). We do have a lactation consultant that works at the hospital. I will try contacting her to see if she has any books on this subject. Our local library did have one book by Ina Mays called Guide to Childbirth. We go to the library every other Mon/Tues & this is our week. I will check it out then. But, they did not have any by Michel Odont or the 2 movies you suggested. I live in town with a population of 50,000....not big, not small, I never realized how out of it we are.

This will actually be my 3rd child. I went into labor on my own with my first, they broke my water after I was in labor for 17 hrs. I got the epidural soon after, that is when the contractions became too much for me (I was at 7cm). I had her 4.5 hrs later. With 1.5 hrs of pushing. I really never had the urge to push, just the pressure. And of course the "I WANT HER OUT NOW" feeling.
My second, they induced me because they thought she was too big. They tested her several times for diabetis after her birth (she was only 8lbs 9oz). I went in at 5 am, got hooked up to IV and meds around 7, Doc broke water at 8:30 (I was only 4cm) & I immediatley asked for the epidural, by 10 I was at 10cm. I had to wait till Doc got back to hospital to push though (11am or so). I could feel every contraction (barely) but enough to know that I could have been pushing. But I just breathed though them. By the time they let me push I think my body had done most the work. I gave 3 good pushes and she was out. Really both my birth experiences were not bad, in my eyes, it is just knowing what I know now that scares me. I don't want to make my POP worse, have my uterus fall out, etc.

I breastfeed both girls. My oldest till she was 15mos, only stopping because her Doc was pushing for it. Stupid I know, I shouldn't have cared what he thought. With my 2nd, I only BF till she was 5 mos. I wasn't suppling her with enough. She screamed for hours and hours. Poor thing. I felt like a failure & we cried together nightly. Toward the end she screamed herself to sleep in my arms. I think it had to do with stress (finding my POP/waiting to see DR) and being pregnant. Even though I didn't know I was. When I did find out, that is when I stopped BF and started her on formula. Both my girls are off the charts growth wise. I get a lot of grief from ppl over it. I personally think they are just fine. My oldest barely eats much but fruits and veggies. Matter of fact she asks for them over other things. But she just turned 3 and is 44 lbs and 41 inches tall. Oh well...I am getting off subject....LOL THANKS FOR LISTENING!!

Karla

granolamom

January 17, 2010 - 1:00pm

I dont need my bradley book anymore, would happily send it to you
you can send me your address by clicking on my user name and then on 'contact'

louiseds

January 17, 2010 - 10:53pm

Hi Karla

No, you are not stupid. Now close your eyes, and repeat after me, "I am not stupid. I am not stupid. I am not stupid."

Hey, so you don't have a musical bone in your body! Who cares? These workouts are about body movement. You can do them just as well with Muzak! Or no music at all, though I wouldn't suggest turning the music off, cos you will miss the soothing commentary.

Yeah, the book is quite technical. I was quite anatomy-aware before I started all this, and I still cannot get my head around all the 3D orientation of all the pelvic structures and muscles. Maybe it is catching!

I have my anatomy book close by at reading times, and I have just got a 3ft high mini-skeleton for Christmas, (which was a bit weird for DS2's new girlfriend when she stayed with us for the first time!). But they all understand my obsession with the human body, so all is good. There is a glossary somewhere in the book which will help you to understand some of the language of anatomy. There is no easy way to understand it, other than reading, and comparing to your own body, or to charts and other books. It all gets clearer bit by bit, especially if you can get your head around the language medical books use to describe direction and orientation of the body. There is simply a lot of stuff to learn, but once it starts to gel, it is a doorway into another world of understanding your own body. with knowledge comes power.

More power to all of us!

Cheers

Louise

I.C. Ranebo

January 24, 2011 - 8:12pm

Hi, All, newbie , indeed. Glossary in the book is one thing but I was wondering about quick ref here online. I thought I had just a skin irritation then discovered lumpiness in perineal area, only since December. Saw very personable Dr who fitted a pessary. Despair after the 1st week so I looked here. Delivery of book and elderly workout dvd was amazingly fast. Skipping over most of the technical to get to the "fixing" of this problem. Already just thinking about the posture and trying to sit and stand better seems to be helping some. Will try to start the exercises this week. Dang. Someone here thinks it's time for his dinner. more later.