Sorry in advance

Hey, I brought it on myself. I can see that now. Several things set me up for having prolapse, and I've only come to this conclusion in the last couple of days.

1. I've always had tight muscles and poor posture (there are several reasons for this, both physical and psychological).

2. I get an awful lot of stuff done considering I'm a low-energy person. My ADD brain goes non-stop and my body tries its best to keep up with all the ideas. What that translates into is this: I do too much and I feel lazy if I rest.

3. We moved when I was 3 months pregnant with baby #1. I tore very, very badly with baby #1, requiring an insane number of deep-tissue/muscle stitches. We moved when I was 4 months pregnant with baby #2. We moved when baby #2 was 6 months old. We moved when I was 8 months pregnant with baby #4. DH works, of course, so I did all the packing. I've packed up all our stuff that many times, and helped move very heavy boxes that many times.

4. I have also kept a garden everywhere we've lived, without a tiller, which means I hand dig everything. I get restless when furniture stays in one place too long, so I move furniture.

5. I did not have help after any of the births except this last one, and that's because my midwife insisted that I stay in bed, and what choice did I have? I could hardly walk and I couldn't figure out how to pee.

6. I built a rock wall a couple of months postpartum, not realizing until a couple of days later that I was making the prolapse worse. Duh.

So please don't use me as an example of natural birth gone wrong, alright? I brought it all on myself. My midwife tried to tell me to rest, but DH travels. And my friends have their own families to take care of. It's just me, the 4 kids, and one heck of a guilt trip from 20+ years of living with a family who loved to give guilt trips. You can take the girl out of the family, but it's hard to take the family out of the girl. Okay, it's not all that bad. For 3 weeks after the birth I was in bed and my church friends took turns coming and helping keep laundry going and such. But now that I'm "all better", it's back to normal except that I can't do anything.

I dropped the baby a couple of weeks ago. Yeah. I really did. At least she only fell about a foot. I was trying to set her down and my back suddenly had such a bad spasm that I dropped her.

I am certainly not the expert here, because I'm just starting out myself and I have no idea what I'm doing. But can I make a suggestion? Can you do just the stretches if you do nothing else? Because my belly still looks newly postpartum (meaning, 5 months pregnant, only flabby like a deflated balloon), I can't do the beginning stretch without spreading my knees apart and letting my belly hang down. What if you did that too? That first stretch on the video--where you're sitting on your feet and you stretch forward on the floor. Your belly may be too big for that, I don't know.

I really feel for you, Rosebud, and I will be praying for you.

You are headed into the home stretch! Just 4 more weeks (give or take a few). You CAN do this. Your body ROCKS!!! (if you have not seen "birth" the play you gotta see it soon). You are strong. You are POWERFUL. You will have an amazing birth.
Pamper yourself. I am sending love to you and your sweet little baby.
It is going to feel so so so good to have your baby in your arms (and out of your body:))
Now listen- your doctor sounds silly to me. All there is is hope. That's it. No one can predict the future. But all you can do is prepare yourself as well as you can and then hope with all your might things go beautifully.
I can tell you right now that even with more tearing with my most recent birth, my prolapse is no worse. NO WORSE. I have 4 children. I have torn extensively 4 times- I had an unstitched 3rd degree tear with my 3 and 4th births and still the prolapse is no worse.
Yes it takes time to recover. But now at one year out I am almost as good as I was 18 months postpartum with my 3rd birth.
Rest well, get good help for when the baby is first here and stay away from the furniture!!!! (OMGness Ribbit I have that same compulsion. I just don't feel like the house is clean if I have not moved around the furniture).
Now, you may not want to complain to your doctor- but you complained to us and so I am going to tell you to do some things
#1 have a chiropractic adjustment- it will really help
#2 get a massage- do a pregnant one with the special table
#3 get plenty of cal/mag (try mama calm it's great)
#4 work the cat cow yoga moves
#5 crawl!!! get off your feel and crawl around

and rest and relax and breathe
visualize your triumphant birth- your most perfect birth- talk to your baby about the birth.
You are almost there- you can do it!

Last November, I just delivered our little Jane. Some sage advice that my sister-n-law gave to me, overwhelmed, weeping and upset : "Don't forget about just how many hormones are running through you right now! It's like 100 birth control pills!"

"Normal" physically or emotionally just isn't possible right now (or shortly after baby either) with that much happening in you. So have your pity party. You could use some pity! :) We aren't totally independent creatures; in truth, we do need others and they need us. This is what gives love an opportunity to shine. Let others love you now. You are and have shown plenty of loving I'm sure. Let others take care of you and your baby. It'll be good for you and for them!

You are in my prayers as well.

Hey Rosebud

Oh, you are at that horrible time of pregnancy when you have had it up to here. Your body is big and cumbersome and it all looks too hard. My heart goes out to you. Just remember that it will pass. In a little while that bulky pressure will ease as the baby moves down. You are right at that point where you have an *enormous*, unwieldy tummy. I am picking up that you want to do things and are feeling frustrated because you physically cant. You will hold your darling baby in only a few short weeks, but it looks to be half a lifetime away. I found at the end of each of my pregnancies I eventually became energy-filled again as labour drew closer. This energy seems to come from nowhere and will get you through. You *will* birth this baby, and do it well.

I think your body is telling you not to go too hard at the moment. Listen to it. There is no rule anywhere that says that you should be able to do everything you could do before you were pregnant. I am sure that your Mom and husband can see that this is a temporary state. Your Mom has had babies. Of course she is helping you. That's what Moms do!

Your husband has seen this happen before and is the father of your daughters. Of course he is doing all he can! You are so lucky to have these two wonderful people to help you over this difficult time.

You are so lucky to have a doctor who has faith in you and faith in your body. She has been so straight with you, and is so supportive, but realistic at the same time. They will all look after you while you need it, as I am sure you will do for others later. This is what good people do.

Don't worry. Just accept the help.

I wouldn't be pushing any workout right now, except perhaps some gentle foot circles, plies, releves, leg lifts, back mobilisations and a bit of walking. Just gentle mobility things to keep you loose, especially if you cannot do much activity.

There is something wonderful happening inside you. Just go with it.

Ribbit, I know exactly what you are talking about. I have an ADD brain too. All I can do is loosely corral it and try to make use of it. It is my friend when I need to get into hyperfocus to get a task accomplished, and it is my friend when it keeps me active, but it is my enemy when it glues me to the sofa late at night when I should be sleeping, or when it makes my body restless and itching to move, when I need to stay still. It is also my enemy when it takes my body on journeys that are too hard on it, building walls, digging ditches and generally overdoing it. When I am in the middle of some sort of battle, and I will not give up, it can be either an enemy or a friend, depending on whether the battle is worth winning, and how much the battle is costing my body, brain or heart. Stopping and finishing it another day is quite difficult for me, but is getting easier as I get older. You can look forward to that.

But it is the only brain I have, and I recognise that it has its blessings. I can choose to stop or to keep going. (I have a short term memory that is about flea-sized and it has many holes that things escape through, and get forgotten. I just have to remember that I do have a choice!) Sometimes I just need to switch it off and look at myself from outside. If my reaction to myself is, "You must be nuts!", then I can often derail it and get back to reasonable behaviour.

Ribbit, with the Beginning stretch I would suggest you get onto all fours with your big toes together and your knees about 12 inches apart. This leaves more room for your belly between your legs. Push your hands forward on the floor with arms outstretched until your forehead, and elbows to fingertips are in contact with the floor then lower your bottom just a tiny bit and let it hang in mid air with your belly half on your thighs and half between them. This will stretch your whole spine. Don't push your bottom down. This gives you room to continue breathing into your belly, because it is not compressed. It feels lovely if you do it right.

Rosebud, I wouldn't attempt this at all at the moment with your big belly. Wait until after baby is born.

Now, both of you just stop, and have a guiltless rest!

Louise

I havent' read the responses yet, so I'm probably redundant
but sweetie, this is what happens at the end of pg! what you are going through is so normal, POP or not.
how blessed you are to have found a supportive dr, a fabulous dh and helpful mom. pg, especially when you have older kids, tends to push you to the edge, even with all the supports you have. the fear towards the end can really do a number on you.
quickly, because I seem to only have two seconds at a time to spend here (unfortunately) let me share my experience
started with a stage lets-call-it 3 cystocele. stabilized it, got it down to a stage two or so, one on a really good day. got pg with baby number 4. at 3 mo pp was back down to an almost-3. by one year, back to an almost-1.
got pg with baby number five. at 3 mo pp (my worst) was a 2, 2 and a half if there is such a thing but didn't stay there long. now (5 mo pp) am at a stage two, I'd say, with very few symptoms.
so what/how much work did I do for this? I wish I could say I do the dvd daily, but the honest truth is I've never done the workout. I do the posture all the time. I'm good about avoiding constipation. I try to stay in POP friendly clothes but will admit to wearing heels/pantyhose/high waisted skirts when the occasion calls for it. I was firebreathing and doing nauli twice daily before I got pg this last time, but now I do it maybe twice weekly. on bad days I throw in a couple of plies.
I do some childs pose and downward dog daily when on the floor with my kids.
noone can predict whether you will get worse or not, but I think the fear is what you need to deal with. and so what if you do get worse? what if? there are so many what if's in life, I think all you can say is "I will deal with that if it happens". and you will. noone here ever planned to deal with a prolapse. I think most, if not many of us, at first felt that we couldn't deal with this. and yet, here we are, coping better than we thought we ever could. most healthy people manage to cope with all sorts of losses, its the way we are wired, amazingly enough. so I think, worst case scenario, if the prolapse gets worse, you will cope. you will begin this work again pp and stabilize whatever prolapse you have and begin the work of reversal and healing. really, its no different, only scary right now.
as for how you're feeling now, I can only offer big hugs and the reminder that this will pass. right now your body is not your own. if I lived down the street I'd bring your kids over to my house in the afternoons for some ball playing or arts and crafts so you could rest more. and then send them home with dinner for you.

I don't know why ribbit has a prolapse. I dont' know why my sister doesn't. she had some pretty awful medicalized births and has more than half a dozen kids. but either way, I'd still put my money on the natural birth.

I'm sorry you're having a bad day, hopefully tomorrow will be brighter.
((hugs))

I got comments like that too. its so not about the ribbon, or medal or the bragging rights. aside from being what is medically in most mothers' and babies' best interests (not talking about emergencies, etc), natural childbirth is an awesome experience. I wouldn't trade it for anything. is there pain? yes, but still I don't consider childbirth to be an overwhelming painful experience. its just...awesome. its huge. its bigger than me. its incredible. and you only get to do it a few times usually, so I for one wouldn't want to do it numb.
your body was designed to do this, its our culture which has implanted this fear/doubt in your mind.
I forget if you mentioned but have you thought about hiring a doula?
I think that most of the time when a woman tries to have a natural childbirth and then ends up asking for an epidural, its not that she's let herself down or wimped out, but that she didn't have the appropriate support that all laboring women need and deserve.

as far as diaper changes, I have a changing table that I never used for my first two but use exclusively now. I never get on the floor for diaper changing anymore. too awkward. the table is a lifesaver. in absense of the changing table I probably would use the dining room table. wouldn't tell guests that though.

Rosebud- check out pubic symphasis disfunction
http://www.plus-size-pregnancy.org/pubicpain.htm#Symptoms
and SIJ disfunction
http://www.plus-size-pregnancy.org/pubicpain.htm#Symptoms

my reference sites are not great- and certainly not medical- but they do give you a place to start and I didn't feel like searching forever for a really great peer reviewed medical journal

but the kind of pain you are going through reminded me of these two common pregnancy issues.
and I had PS disfunction after my most recent birth due to a bit of trauma when our baby's shoulder got stuck (he was OP and big through the shoulders- but despite our positioning issues he was born uneventfully right in our hot tub) and it took weeks ok maybe more like months to heal well.

Do some searches on natural home births. You can watch video after video and read story after story about everything you've got in mind. It's so strengthening and encouraging. Also try to get your hands on Ina May Gaskins books. "Spiritual Midwifery" comes to mind. You can get them for a couple of dollars each on a used book website. They will encourage you as well.

During the last few weeks I have always felt like I had a knife jabbing up my vagina. Or right in the front where the bones come together in front. I know what you mean "bone on bone". A trip to the chiropractor usually helped me.

I don't know about y'all, but I like to get things for cheap. Some of my friends feel like to provide the "best" for their baby, they should buy everything brand new. Well, we never had money like that, so the thought didn't enter into my head. ;) Ask your friends if they have a changing table they're not using and if you can borrow it. Or send somebody to go to a nearby yard sale and see if they can pick up one for a few bucks. It's not hard to wipe it down with bleach/water and let it sit in the sun for a few hours. Thrift stores often have one or two sitting around.

I had 10 pound babies 30 plus years ago. After the second an 0rthepedic surgeon wanted to put me in traction. He saw I had one leg longer than the other when I bent over and touched my toes as he sat behind me. (picture that diagnostic pose) I said I had a newborn at home. He said I could stay at home only if I had complete bed rest and didn't lift anything heavier than the baby. I can't remember how long it took to feel better, I only know it was years until I could stand having someone touch my lower back. And the pelvic examinations with pap smears each year still cause me discomfort when the doctor pushes down on my stomach to feel my ovaries. Also, sometimes when I have sat for too long, when I stand up it takes a few seconds before I can begin any forward movement. I have had some chiro adjustments to bring my leg length back to equal. I believe it is something that I will continue to do on a regular basis, as the adjustment doesn't seem to hold after too many years of needing adjustment. I walked around for 30 plus years with one leg longer than the other. People said they could see me walk of my longer leg. Must have had a slight limp. Give yourself the time your body needs. Your pain is real. Your rest with recovery is necessary!!!!
Believe in WW healing,
Melly