Pow!

Sounds like my experience. I was diagnosed last May during what turned out to be my last menstrual period. However, the urogyn wanted to perform surgical procedures using polypropolene mesh (first he would need to perform a hysterectomy). When I googled the mesh manufacturer there were many very bad stories about further surgeries needed to remove the eroding and infected mesh. I decided to keep my very healthy organs and learn to change my posture and the way I do physical activities. Try not to mourn what you used to do. Learn to do it differently! Use the search window in the upper left corner and read what others have done. There are threads about all aspects of prolapse from what to eat to sexual positions. Read and ask as many questions as you need.
The answers are here.
Melly

Since I teach school, I had last summer to concentrate on me!!! Doing the exercises with the video is very helpful. I usually do the first 20 minutes each morning before breakfast, and do more of the workout on the weekends. I would say I was feeling improved in time to go back to school (about 3 months). However, there are times when you take one step forward and two steps back. The Holidays are tough as you are on your feet a lot. I will be 56 years old in August, and I have had my grandson (age 7) for three weeks. We are redecorating 4 rooms downstairs this summer. And I am washing the outside of the house and garage with soap, a brush, and a garden hose. I feel tired, but good! I think I get a little better every day. I know being positive, like your name, is good for recovery.
Keep Asking
Melly

Hi Hopefully

Good to see that you can still identify hope! I am sure that you will get better.

I can almost see you curled up in a ball in a corner. There are times when the weight of life seems to be just much for us to carry. You have so much sadness and stress at the moment. No wonder your bladder has decided to make a move.

When we are threatened we tend to hunch over as a defence mechanism. Our shoulders and chest become tight and we tuck in our butt in order to protect our tender underside and our abdomen. We literally wear our stresses in the way we use our bodies.

It might not be possible for you to straighten up completely at the moment, but in time you will be able to, and you need to do all you can now to start that process off.

Without going into it completely, you have already identified the things that are stressing you. Expressing them is a great start to addressing them. I am wondering if there are actions you can take to alleviate some of that stress.

You are loved and valued by the many people you actively care about and care for. Remember that.

You cannot be enthusiastic about sexual relationships when you are so stressed, and fear the pain that coitus might bring. How about expressing these fears with your partner. Coitus is not all there is to sex. There are plenty of ways you can express your sexuality without penis in vagina.

I think you are feeling guilty about things that are not of your doing. Guilt is weird like that. If you find yourself saying to yourself or to others, "I should..." try and find another phrase like, "I feel compelled to..." or "I would prefer to ..." or "I think others expect me to ..." or "It has in the past been my role to...". Then you can work out whether or not to you are being driven by love, or guilt, or fear, or something else.

I think it would be good for you to set aside some time for self care. Have a massage regularly, just so you can be touched in a caring, and guiltfree way. Offer yourself a meal out, or a cup of tea, or ask for a cuppa from somebody else. It is so much easier to give richly of ourselves when we are comfortable about asking to have our needs met, and asking for help or a bit of care from somebody else.

I betcha anything that all those lovely people who are relying on you think you are a saint, their tower of strength, and think you are so wonderful the way you care for them. They would probably appreciate the opportunity to serve you in the same way. Asking someone to make you a cup of tea is not a lot to ask.

Parents are another minefield. I am not going there unless you want to.

So sorry that you are experiencing all this heart-rending stuff at once. Sometimes it just happens that way.

Now start uncurling yourself, and showing the lovely woman that you are. Raise your chest and stretch out that tight tummy until you can relax your belly and let your bladder slide forwards onto your pubic bones where it is better supported than it is over your vagina, when in slouched posture. Open right out, and show the world your feminine breasts and buttocks. Relax your shoulders and breathe out. Nobody is going to hurt you. You have important work to do. Do it proudly and powerfully, even if you feel like a squashed lemon. ;-)

I am sure you can get through all this, and that your bladder will eventually go back where it belongs.

Hope to hear from you again.

Louise

Wow, Louise just wrote the best answer possible.
Hopefully, I love your name. This whole thing is all about hope, please, never give up hope!
In many women, POP occurs when a hard time comes emotionally. I know it is not easy to handle. We are here for you, we all have been there.
It is not easy to do this without support.
I remember, it took months for me to be brave enough to tell my closest friends about my POP, and they were so supportive.
I remember I scared to have sex for months (and I was 28 at the time, can you imagine?)! Believe me, it is nothing to worry about. Now, 1.5 years later we are joking about it. He always asks if I need some "help physically", lol. And sex really helps.

Anyway, great to have you here!
Liv

I so look forward to reading your posts, so uplifting and gracious. Many of the posts are so inspiring and others I just want to jump through the screen and say you are not alone and you are loved and everything will be ok. Again I say thank God for this new family I have found.
Heavenly

Hey thanks Liv and Heavenly. Actually I do feel some real real empathy for Hopefully cos I am in the middle of a whole heap of big, stressful things in my life at the moment, that nobody else can really deal with, or they are already helping me, and in it with me. so I am right in there with Hopefully! I feel your pain! I think for both of us it is a place we would rather not be, but we both are, so we gotta get in there and deal with it all.

Chest first! You are strong and brave! And very much a woman, which is why you have been charged with these tasks. Hey, you've carried and birthed and nurtured babies. You must be able to do all this. It will pass. Baby steps.

It is like the bear hunt.

We're going on a bear hunt.
Got to catch a big one.
I'm not s-scared!
What a b-beautiful day!

O-ho, a *mud, deep, squishy mud*!

Can't go over it,
can't go under it,
gotta go throoooooough it!
(Make squishy, gloppy noises and movements together)

We're going on a bear hunt.
Got to catch a big one.
I'm not s-scared.
What a b-beautiful day!

O-ho, tall grass, tall wavey grass!
Can't go over it,
can't go under it,
gotta go throoooooough it!
(Make swishy, scarey, grassy noises and movements)
etc.

Do you guys in USA sing that song to your kids?

I feel better already.
((((Hopefully))))

BTW, feeling down and and hopeless and helpless is also very often something that is hormone-related, during perimenopause. don't blame yourself for not coping. Seeking some professional help may be called for, either counselling to help you find your way through all this stuff, and/or some hormone re-balancing if your emotions are playing tricks on you.

Louise

Wow, this site is something else. It is wonderful. It is so reassuring. I too feel like a totally different person than I was a month ago. I feel like half a person. I was so active. I volunteer at an animal shelter and walk the dogs for hours. Plus my own dog gets walked 3 times a day. Now, I have stopped the animal shelter and I only walk my dog once a day. This prolapse is on my mind constantly. After reading everyone's response I am beginning to believe there may still be some normalcy in life ahead. Though if I can't find a comfortable pessary I doubt I will be able to return to the animal shelter. As soon as my video comes I will be doing the exercises and hope for the best. Right now I have no pessary and I am walking carefully.

Hi Snickspar

Check out Christine's channel on YouTube. There are some excerpts from the DVD that you can watch.

Walking is wonderful exercise for POP recovery, as long as you are able to maintain the posture with a handful of dogs!

Have you read Christine's book on prolapse? It is my best friend. Of course next to it is my real Bible and also my book on constipation! Wow... my reading subjects sure have changed since I got to be 62. Your story could be my story.... I just get up each day and do the best I can. I am trying to eat less calories so I don't have so much fat pressing down on my bladder. My pants are all too tight and that aggravates my prolapse in a major way. I bet Mr. Walmart loves me because I keep buying bigger sizes! I hope you have a good day today and stay inside yourself! meribelle